maybe she's born with it, maybe it's raebelline

rae | she/her | railmedaddy on ao3 ally's dirty little secret

[rmd-writes]

Hi, I’m Rae and if you’re interested in my silly (mostly smutty) fics and other fic related things, then this is the post for you 💖

ao3

fic master lists: 911 lone star | heated rivalry | red white & royal blue | schitt’s creek

fics: 911 lone star | heated rivalry | red white & royal blue | schitt’s creek

wips: 911 lone star | red white & royal blue | schitt’s creek

snippets & prompt fills: 911 lone star | red white & royal blue | schitt’s creek

fic recs: 911 lone star | red white & royal blue | schitt’s creek

find a fic (found fics)

the little things

ask box

blanket permission statement

[rmd-writes]

when you're young, they assume you know nothing | E | 16.5k

It starts as lust and attraction; sex. Nothing more, nothing less. But for Shane and Ilya, as they learn to trust and be trusted in return, becoming something more is inevitable. Or The mortifying ordeal of being known by the love of your life. 

When Ilya holds his face steady and deepens the kiss, Shane is helpless to resist. He’s missed the feel of Ilya’s lips against his, the taste of him, Ilya’s hand cradling his face, holding him as if he’s something precious. The thing is, Ilya has always kissed him like this. Sometimes their kisses are desperate, filthy and frantic. Other times their kisses are slow and sensual, a tease of what’s to come. More rarely, they’re tender and sweet, like right now. But in every single iteration of their kisses, no matter the mood, Ilya has always — even in the early days — kissed Shane like he’s something to be treated with care, something worth treasuring. 

Shane loves kissing Ilya. It’s in his top 5 favourite things. He loves that they can say so much with the press of their lips and the slide of their tongues. The way they use their bodies has always been their primary method of communicating. It’s probably why Shane didn’t recognise the meandering path they took from scared horny teenagers to whatever they are now. Shane doesn’t have a name for it, not yet; it’s too fragile for labels. But somewhere along the way their touches began meaning more than lust-fueled sex and started declaring a want and need for more with a tenderness that Shane wasn’t ready to notice. 

He thinks he might be ready now, even if it's impossible. 

read on ao3

[rmd-writes]

first fic game

Coming out of hiding to do this game because I loved seeing what @welcometololaland @kiwiana-writes @cha-melodius @freneticfloetry had to say about theirs (thanks for tagging me lovelies!)

Rules: list your first fics in every fandom and how you feel about them.

In order of publication:

Schitt's Creek

Care Bear | G | 1.3k

Not just my first fic for the Schitt's Creek fandom but the first fiction I'd written in [redacted] years! I haven't reread it, I'm sure it's full of errors and mixed tenses. I actually posted this anonymously at first because I was so scared of putting my writing into the world but some pals convinced me to own up to it.

Also, some rmd lore: yes this is G-rated fic. I know that's exceedingly rare from me these days. BUT railmedaddy was always intended to be a funny little joke because wouldn't it be hilarious if someone with a username like that (a cheeky nod to Dan Levy's SNL episode) only ever wrote G or T rated fluff? Little did I know what was to come ...

Red, White & Royal Blue

Keep Playing (the soundtrack of us) | E | 4k

I was gently coaxed into writing this by @omgcmere who, when I mentioned maybe writing some firstprince fic and then asked why there as so little thigh fucking in fic in a fandom where canonically Alex is obsessed with Henry's thighs, told me that the answer to that was to write it myself then held my hand while I wrote smut for the first time. (This isn't the first smut I posted, I posted one (1) smutty SC fic first, but I think I started writing this one before that fic).

I like that I played with an interesting writing structure for this and didn’t necessarily play it safe. And I will always be fond of this fic because writing for RWRB fandom brought me some of the best people I know 💖

911 Lone Star

every breath you take | E | 4.2k

The thing about this fic is that it meant that I was actively writing for three fandoms which was seriously unhinged of me. It's also a rare foray into (admittedly light) angst but like almost everything I wrote in this fandom, I told @welcometololaland I was thinking about it and she 'yes, and-ed' it into existence.

I haven’t reread this so I don’t know how I feel about about this specific fic, but I had some of the most fun I’ve had writing in this fandom, so there’s that.

Heated Rivalry

everything is icy and blue | E | 8.9k

Once upon a time, rmd read some books, loved them, reread them but did not fall into the brainrot. Then the show came along and rmd told herself that she didn't have time at this point in her life for a new fandom, for a new hyperfixation and besides, she hadn't written or even read fic in months.

Readers, I think you can guess what happened next.

I told myself that I'd just get this one fic out of my system and maybe I could relearn how to write and then I could finally finish that one RWRB fic that's haunting me so that the 10k I've already written doesn't go to waste ... lol

I wrote this pretty recently so I feel okay about it

Open tag for anyone who wants to play! 💖

[rmd-writes]

i ain’t gotta knock on wood | E | 2.4k

It’s Shane’s first All Stars Game. He’s in Las Vegas, a city full of people who are probably just as horny as he is right now and, more importantly, a city full of people unlikely to recognise a young professional hockey player. Surely it’s safe to find someone to hook up with on Grindr, right?

“Holy shit.”

Shane freezes when he sees who’s on the other side of the door.

All he’d wanted was to hook up with a random hot dude instead of relying on his own hand for once. Was it irresponsible? Maybe. But he’s at his first All Stars Game, he’s in Las Vegas for the first time and he figured that if there was anywhere in the world where he could get away with an anonymous hook up, it ‘s in Las Vegas, a city known for debauchery. More importantly, he’s in a city that doesn’t give a fuck about hockey or Canadian hockey players.

It’s not even the first time Shane’s used Grindr. Well, maybe it doesn’t count if the last time he’d tried it he panic-deleted the app the second he got a DM after matching with someone.

Still. When he’d scrolled Grindr earlier that evening looking at his options, carefully choosing a profile that seemed to be as deliberately anonymous as his own – full of thirst traps with no faces and no identifying features – because he was horny after an afternoon spent in close proximity to Ilya fucking Rozanov, who’d had the gall to be very Ilya fucking Rozanov about everything, he wasn’t expecting to be faced with this.

Read now on ao3

[three-drink-amy]

I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs

Five years ago, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov quietly went their separate ways. They handled their heartbreak differently. Shane cut off his family and friends and focused only on hockey, not that it helped, his game has totally fallen apart. Ilya had the support of the Centaurs, even if they didn't know why they were supporting him.

But when Ilya announces his retirement at the end of the next season, it shakes Shane back to reality. He has one season left to play against the man he still loves; and then, would he ever see him again? As Shane starts to piece his life back together, the biggest missing piece is still Ilya.

Ilya had planned to just enjoy the last season he'd play of professional hockey and obviously try to win another cup. But when Shane reaches back out, he has much more to consider. He never expected to talk to Shane again, but he can't deny that it's everything he's wanted in the last five years.

Can they salvage what they had? Should they even try? How can Shane and Ilya be a part of each other's lives again?

T | Hollanov | angst | post-break up

chapter one | chapter two |

New: Chapter Three

[rmd-writes]

Heated Rivalry fic list

Canon compliant

love, full of hope || Yuna POV, 5 + 1, family | G | 7.5k

when you're young, they assume you know nothing || smut + so many feelings | E | 16.5k

AU / Canon divergence

everything was icy and blue || holiday fic, snowed in, only one bed | E | 8.9k

i ain’t gotta knock on wood || alternate first hook up || E || 2.4k

[three-drink-amy]

I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs

Five years ago, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov quietly went their separate ways. They handled their heartbreak differently. Shane cut off his family and friends and focused only on hockey, not that it helped, his game has totally fallen apart. Ilya had the support of the Centaurs, even if they didn't know why they were supporting him.

But when Ilya announces his retirement at the end of the next season, it shakes Shane back to reality. He has one season left to play against the man he still loves; and then, would he ever see him again? As Shane starts to piece his life back together, the biggest missing piece is still Ilya.

Ilya had planned to just enjoy the last season he'd play of professional hockey and obviously try to win another cup. But when Shane reaches back out, he has much more to consider. He never expected to talk to Shane again, but he can't deny that it's everything he's wanted in the last five years.

Can they salvage what they had? Should they even try? How can Shane and Ilya be a part of each other's lives again?

T | 2.1k words | Hollanov | angst | post-break up

[rmd-writes]

me every time I go into the doc:

[rmd-writes]

ao3 user TinyFiresalamander I adore you this is my favourite comment and it needs to be shared for posterity

[rmd-writes]

love, full of hope | G| 7.5k

It hits her then, how well Ilya must know her son. That he gets Shane and supports him. It can’t have been an easy thing, walking into what could have been the lion’s den after getting caught by his boyfriend’s father. He did it anyway – for Shane. His love for Shane is written all over his face.

Since their rookie year.

Shane has had this, Ilya – though she tries not to think too hard about the details – for nine years!

She and David have been so worried that Shane might be lonely. He’s always found it difficult to connect with people, didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid.

He’s not lonely though; he has Ilya. For that, she thinks she might love Ilya, just a little.

Or

5 times Yuna loves Ilya, and one time she tells Shane why

Or

an ode to love, and Yuna Hollander

read now on ao3

[yrsonpurpose]

Can you believe it? Sometimes, even now, I still can’t.

[rmd-writes]

RAE!!! I missed you!!

J!!!!! 💖💖💖 I think of you every time I see anything otter related, I hope you’ve been well xoxox

[rmd-writes]

@welcometololaland sent me this yesterday and we got to chatting

and my latent drabble tendency reappeared in a firstprince flavour and I thought I’d share it with y’all:

Alex kneels in front of Henry.

“Love, after the dinner you made for us, I’m going to need a minute before we do that.”

“Fuck off. I’m trying to propose to you, dickhead.”

Henry arches a brow. “Traditionally, one kneels on one knee for that, not both.”

“This is my fucking proposal, sweetheart, so shut the fuck up. Respectfully.”

“Wow, with a proposal like this, how could I possibly refuse.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “Are you going to shut up?”

Mirth dances across Henry’s face, his eyes softening before the glint returns.

“I’m positively weeping with emotion, do go on.”

[rmd-writes]

fandom preferences game

sometimes a girl tries to stay away but she gets lured back by sirens (tags from beloved mutuals on fun tag games @welcometololaland @liminalmemories21)

Coffee shop or Florist?

AU or Fix-it?

Enemies to lovers or Childhood friends? If you’re making me choose, enemies but more of the rivals flavour

Angst or Fluff? both because I only read angst if I also get the happy ending with lots of fluff ( @three-drink-amy specialty)

Love at first sight or Pining? I want my idiots so gone over each other they look stupid

Modern AU or Historical AU?

Break up and make up or Proposal and wedding? yes

Get together or Established relationship? also yes

Soulmates or Unrequited?

Fake dating or Secret dating? I refuse to to choose and you can’t make me. Both tropes are god tier and anyone who’s ever read my fics knows I think thi

Obvious pining or Domestic fluff?

Hurt/comfort or Crack? H/C - but again, I need the promise of a happy ending. I'm willing to cry in the middle of a story, but not at the end. <- stealing Lim’s answer here. I only wanna cry happy tears at the end of a fic

Open tag!! 💖

[rmd-writes]

im so glad i was fixing my ao3 emails because i would have missed that you've posted a hollanov fic!!!! oh my god??? i havent read it yet but i am already screaming crying throwing up bc my fave firstprince author is also in this fandom!!!! ajkdjghjfhi welcome and i hope you stay for a long time!! (as well as your other equally awesome writer friends!!!)

omg hiiiiii!!!! I love seeing familiar names pop up again! this is just SO nice 😭😭😭😭 thank you so much, I hope you like the fic when you do get to read it 💖

(As for my awesome writer friends (who write firstprince) @everwitch-magiks @three-drink-amy and @omgcmere have all written Heated Rivalry fic too 🥰)

[rmd-writes]

everything is icy and blue | E | 8.9k

Two hockey bros accidentally book the same cabin for Christmas, oh my.

Shane’s frown deepens as he watches the obnoxiously orange Mercedes SUV that’s been following him pull up beside him. He flexes his fingers on his steering wheel, taking a deep breath before he steps out of his car, ready to speak to the asshole who was tailing him too closely in the heavy snow and hopefully send them on their way. He rolls his shoulders back, unsure if this is going to turn into an argument. He hopes not, but he can take care of himself if it comes to that.

This just wasn’t how he wanted to start his Christmas.

He can’t see into the windows of the other SUV because the windows are tinted so dark they’re almost black. A head full of light brown curls appears, turning to reveal a face that Shane is unfortunately very familiar with, wearing an even more familiar shit-eating grin.

Fuck.

Ilya Rozanov.

Shane swallows his groan.

“Hollander!”

“Rozanov.”

Shane wonders who he pissed off to have his biggest rival and the league menace show up at the supposedly exclusive cabin he’d booked for Christmas. A Christmas he’s intending to spend alone.

—

I’m not really here these days but I’m excited that I have words again for the first time in MONTHS so, hi, I hope life is treating you all kindly 💖

[welcometololaland]

me: writes 2 lines

also me: oh we are so back

[rmd-writes]

Fic ABCs

Thanks for the tags @kiwiana-writes @orchidscript @freneticfloetry @anincompletelist (and thank you to everyone who has continued to tag me during my months-long absence from this place. I've been checking my notifs and DMs occasionally and it always makes me a little 🥰 to see that you've thought of me 💖 I can't promise that I'm back, but this game seemed like fun and I was curious how many letters I could tick off)

Rules: How many letters of the alphabet have you used for a fic title? One fic per line, 'A' and 'The' do not count for 'a' and 't'. Post your score out of 26 at the end, along with your total fic count.

Are You Screwing With Me? (firstprince, RWRB)

Baci (David/Patrick, Schitt's Creek)

Call Me (By My Name) (Tarlos, 911 LS)

Despite it all (Tarlos, 911 LS)

Everybody needs good neighbours (firstprince, RWRB)

Feeling kind of sketchy (David/Patrick, Schitt's Creek)

Get fucked (or die trying) (firstprince, RWRB)

Home for the Holidays (firstprince, RWRB)

It's just for snow (David/Patrick, Schitt's Creek)

J

the key that unlocked me (firstprince, RWRB)

Letters to my Lover (David/Patrick, Schitt's Creek)

Make the Yuletide Gay (Tarlos, 911 LS)

Never the same twice (firstprince, RWRB)

The only thing I need (David/Patrick, Schitt's Creek)

Precious Love (Tarlos, 911 LS)

Q

A Revelation (David/Patrick, Schitt's Creek)

Soon (Tarlos, 911 LS)

To the victor, the spoils (firstprince, RWRB)

(Un)professional Services (Tarlos, 911 LS)

V

Who am I if I can't carry it all (June & Alex, RWRB)

X

You're all that I need (firstprince, RWRB)

Z

21/26 - not bad! Several letters had many, many options to choose from (S and T both had 10 each!)

I don't know who's around and doing these things anymore so I'm just going to tag @welcometololaland @celeritas2997 and @clottedcreamfudge