Robert Downey Hiddlesbatch

So much panic… very little disco My dissociative ass writes… sometimes. ‘97 bish sometimes expands on sexual brain farts and calls herself a writer

[000l]

[shrewreadings]

like to charge, reblog to cast.

[storybookprincess]

so back when my little brother was in high school, my mom went as a chaperone for their senior year field trip to an amusement park. which, you know, brave move to volunteer to supervise a bunch of high school seniors let loose in a wonderland of rollercoasters and sugar

my brother and his friends in this field trip group were truly great kids. but they were not above run of the mill teenage boy shenanigans. it’s the end of senior year, you and all your buddies are at the amusement park, you’re naturally going to want to act like a complete moron

there was one kid in the group who was especially prone to goofing around. committed to the bit, some may say. my mom knew that if nonsense was going to break out, he’d likely be at the center of it

so she goes up to this kid at the very start of the trip and says “hey, i’m kinda worried about this chaperoning thing. this might be a lot to ask, but can you help me keep an eye on everyone? you wouldn’t have to do anything big, just be an extra set of eyes for me.”

friends, this kid proceeded to run their field trip group like the fucking us marines. everyone is at the meet up spots at the designated time. everyone waits in line for the rides like a bunch of boy scouts. the second the horseplay gets too out of hand, this kid is getting it back under control

it’s incredible how differently people act based on the expectations you set. instead of going to this kid and saying “hey, i know you’re trouble, so i’ve got my eye on you,” my mom went “hey, i know you have influence in your peer group, so i think you can help me.”

treat someone like a problem, they’ll act like a problem. but give people a chance to help, make them feel important, and they usually rise far above the occasion. it was a stroke of genius that i’m honestly still in awe of

[remy-freya]

Tried my hand at a character sheet type of image for Loki. I liked coloring the khaki colored suit the most. Had Variant Loki in my head but it didn’t play a part in it. Okay bye

[autistobrat]

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

...What If The Kids are Scared of Bugs

by sunnyhalfsugar ...and Bruce is not. It was all fun and games (not really) until the hideous spider attacked. Alfred was away, and Bruce is on a grocery run until 5:30pm. They were on their own. Words: 3345, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Batfam: What ifs Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake (DCU), Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Bruce Wayne, Duke Thomas & Bruce Wayne Additional Tags: Mentioned Alfred Pennyworth, Good Parent Bruce Wayne, Arachnophobia, Bug phobia, batkids are irrationally scared of bugs, bruce is not, The Author Regrets Nothing, DC Stands for Disregard Canon (DCU), Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Tim Drake Needs a Hug (DCU), Damian Wayne Needs a Hug, Stephanie Brown Needs a Hug, Cassandra Cain Needs a Hug, Duke Thomas Needs a Hug, Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Protective Bruce Wayne via https://ift.tt/tIu1VGe

[z3idan]

the dilf needs enrichment… he hasnt seen human society in a month...

[z3idan]

move over everyone I need a check up

[z3idan]

bucky from memory in class

[z3idan]

move over everyone I need a check up

[rockifresa]

[robertdowneyhiddlesbatch]

The way his suit just keeps getting darker

[deviousdevilx]

he's just so pretty

[splendentgoddess]

FOR PARENTS OF YOUNG KIDS IN THE US!

Someone over on bluesky posted this and I figured I'd better repost it here. It's the pre-RFK 2025 vaccination schedule for babies and young children, ya know, just in case it mysteriously disappears. Save this and give it to your child's pediatrician; tell them this is the schedule you want your child on.

[splendentgoddess]

Got a hold of the older children/teen and adult versions of this chart. Vaccines for everyone!

[leebrontide]

You all may be sick of me banging on this drum but I got whooping cough in my mid/late 20s because I had no idea I needed an adult booster and I coughed so hard I broke my rib. And guess what? Then I got to keep coughing that hard, but now with a broken rib.

Please get your boosters.

[cleve98]

So the date went pretty well…

[cleve98]

It’s been a long, long time…

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[apricops]

the narrative: *starts the third act by repeating a scene from the first act but now it has a totally different context*

me: ohoHOhohoHOHOhoHO

[uwingdispatch]

Heeeeyyy so I thought I’d drop a little update on y’all’s fave tees from my shop! Thank y’all for making these weird designs your faves. I love you so much! And if you’d like any of these as a crewneck or a hoodie, many are already available. But if not, send me a message on Etsy and I’ll see what I can do! And my Valentine sale is on so come get up to 25% off the whole shop! Shop is here.

tap below for more!

Shop is here.