Soul and Social Awkwardness

A blog dedicated to Glee s6 newbies Jane and Roderick, individually and together. Send me your ficlet ideas and if I like 'em, I'll write 'em! If you ain't readin' the tags, you ain't readin' the blog.

[fyeahgleeclub]

only1noah The issue of gun violence in our country is one that has been very important to me for quite some time, so I was proud to be a #gunsensevoter at the polls today. And to help represent the other blue dots in this red state of mine. 😏 #ivoted #govote #everytownforgunsafety @everytown

[fyeahgleeclub]

samanthamarieware “A legacy is planting a seed in a garden you never get to see.” In this moment. I am grateful to have an artistic outlet. I am lucky to have brothers and sisters surrounding me and grounding me with their love. I am making a promise not only to myself but to the legacy we will be leaving behind. I will let my light shine regardless of how the world may treat me. xx

[humanbeanisnotamused]

Concept: the season four newbies do not get ejected from their own school.

Roderick is sitting alone in the cafeteria- again- his plate nearly completely devoid of food- again. Isn’t there like some kind of law against refusing a student food? He’s fantasizing about bringing a lawsuit against the school (with the money he doesn’t have) when he catches a motion in of the corner of his eye and discovers that someone’s slid down into the seat across from him.

The cafeteria is pretty full, so Roderick just assumes that this girl needed a place to sit and nowhere else was available. His attention doesn’t leave the song he’s playing from his iPod, but when he looks up, her mouth is moving very fast and he realises she’s speaking to him.

Roderick does something he hasn’t done once since coming to McKinley- he takes his headphones off to hold a conversation.

“You didn’t hear any of that, did you?” the girl asks, making a face. One of the first things Roderick notices is that her eyes are wide and bright blue. “I was just saying it really stinks being the new kid in a place like McKinley, doesn’t it? It’s really sort of segregated and super clique-y so you just feel like you don’t belong anywhere for a while…”

The girl keeps talking, almost mindlessly, and the next thing Roderick notices is how gentle her voice is- he almost hadn’t realised it was possible for someone to speak to him without that undertone of scorn in their voices. He’d kind of just assumed it was an Ohio thing.

Keep reading

[roderane]

guys everybody read this because it’s precious and completely true to them and I want them as BFFs. @humanbeanisnotamused is heaven.

[angieroleplays]

I really really want a Kitterick or Maderick ship based on the plot line of Hairspray. Imagine how cute that would be. Roderick in Tracy’s role, and Madison/Kitty in Link’s. Just… imagine it.

[roderane]

I’VE LITERALLY HAD THIS SAME IDEA OMG. I think I’d want Kitty because Link’s so popular and Madison’s lowkey a very strange girl. Like not unpopular, but I feel like everyone’s slightly too ‘whaaaa?’ to think of her as top of the heap. But it’s so perfect LOOK AT RODERICK’S HAIR

[roderane]

[humanbeanisnotamused]

Headcanon: Jane and Roderick know more of each other's secrets than anyone else does- including Mason. They know how to read each other and they know each other's weaknesses and strengths and insecurities in a way no one else does. It takes Jane half a second to figure out when Roderick is feeling off and Roderick can calm an enraged Jane down better and more effectively than anyone else. I just have a lot of love for this friendship #brotpforlife

[humanbeanisnotamused]

Little Lion Man

Can also be called, “where did all this backstory come from?” Roderic-centric and sad, as always.

Jane isn’t sure why yet, but she’s pretty sure Roderick just nearly drove them off the road.

Keep reading

[roderane]

Humanbeanisnotamused does it yet again!

[roderane]

dguthrie1 Got to share music & pizza in NYC last night with @only1noah 's #Glee cast mate, @hotdamnitslaura @lauradreyfuss @loriguthrie and I are beginning adoption proceedings. We love you!!!

[roderane]

Glee Fic: Lessons

Kitty Wilde can teach you a thing or two.

A complete smutfic that I can’t believe I actually wrote - rated R for blatant, somewhat graphic oral sex. Potentially a bit kinky. TW for dubious consent just to be safe; everything is consensual but lack of consent and unequal power dynamics in sex are discussed as a theme.

Roderick Meeks is a virgin. Funny how those obvious truths can slap you in the face sometimes.

Kitty knew he had to be a virgin, of course, because everybody knows everything in this school, and she, in particular, really knows everything. She’s just never actually thought about it before, and now that she does, it’s kind of… jarring. Because obviously she’s no angel herself, and Jane and Mason have certainly been up to something; Madison’s various conquests are legendary in the girls’ locker room, God knows Spencer’s screwing his hippie boyfriend until he screams the theme to Portlandia, and the Warblers are all boning each other just as nature intended. So aside from Myron, Roderick Meeks is literally the only virgin in the New Directions, and Kitty’s pretty sure the only reason that horny little mongoose Myron is still on that list is his balls haven’t dropped. Things look grim.

She becomes alerted as to the situation in a dance rehearsal, when she chides him for needing to loosen up. “We really need to get you laid, Meeks,” she says, offhand.

Roderick, par for the course, goes absolutely scarlet and manages to trip over the piano bench. Stellar work.

But Kitty’s trying to be less of a bitch to these kids. She likes them. So she approaches him at his locker the next day with a crooked little I-fucked-up smile, the closest thing anyone will ever get to an apology out of her. She’s used up all her apologies for this lifetime.

“If I embarrassed you the other day, I wasn’t trying to.”

“It’s fine,” says Roderick, a bit too tightly to mean it.

“I just figured it would be obvious.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Hey.” He’s acting pissy, and she doesn’t totally blame him, but she also won’t have it. Because she’s trying to help here, dammit, and her charitable moments are too rare to be cast aside. Kitty plants herself directly in his path, squaring her shoulders. She’s about a third his size, but he looks daunted. 

“I know people here haven’t been that nice to you but that’s no excuse to deliberately assume the worst of everything I say.”

God, Roderick’s easy to guilt trip. He shuts his mouth, lets her speak.

“What I meant was it’s obvious you haven’t done the dirty, not that it’s obvious you’d never get the chance. Because actually, you totally could. You just haven’t. Happy?”

“Not particularly.” Roderick’s fiddling with his backpack strap, trying to look occupied. His words come out hard and bitter. “It’s a little hard to take that at face value when I know for a fact nobody at this school would fuck me if I was the last man on earth.”

It takes Kitty a second to register his answer. She’s distracted by his hands, working the strap of his backpack as if by touch he could memorize its every detail. He’s said he’s not a physical person, his shrugging explanation for being lost on the dance floor, but Kitty doesn’t really think that’s true. He’s very tactile. She has to mentally slap herself back into the conversation. “Have you asked them all? Actually, scratch that, have you asked any of them?”

“Do I need to?”

“I have literally no time for your self-effacing bullshit, Stay-Puft. You know what the single most attractive quality in a man is? Confidence.”

Roderick rolls his eyes. “Great, I’ll get back to you when I have a reason to be sexually confident. Especially in this ocean of toxic testosterone that calls itself a school. Like it’s kinda hard when every guy in the grade feels the need to brag about their ‘conquests’ in public - why aren’t guys allowed to express doubt about this kind of thing? Why’s it got to be all hyping yourself up all the time?”

Kitty gives this a moment of though. It deserves one. “So… you have doubts?”

“Well… yeah.”

He says it as if it ought to be obvious, and yet she knows he’s never actually admitted to it before. He seems to find it a relief. It’s the sort of thing a guy like Puck or Jake would have bitten off his own tongue before admitting. Maybe even Artie, once he’d left Lima and gotten cocky. The honesty is refreshing. Kitty gives him a look that is both appraising and approving.

Roderick colours, and jumps to explain himself. “I’m not just concerned for my own ego, I’m not stupid enough to just not have sex because I couldn’t handle being bad at it or whatever… I don’t want to be someone the girl regrets.”

“You know it’s something you get better at, right? Nobody has a good experience their first time.” The words leave a bitter taste in Kitty’s mouth, and she forces herself not to think of what she’s thinking about. Maybe, at this point, she’d tell him – and the rest of the Glee Club – if they asked, if they needed to know. But they don’t. She hates pity.

“I’ve heard it hurts for the girl,” said Roderick, quietly.

Kitty shrugs. Her tone is offhand. She has to be careful not to allow herself to feel. “Sometimes. Depends. But if you’re that worried, there’s all kinds of things you can do that don’t hurt – that any girl would thank you for doing.”

Roderick looks confused.

“Certain services,” Kitty elaborates.

The other shoe drops. “Oh,” he replies, his eyes wide as dinner plates.

She can’t witness this much longer. He’s completely lost. And she can see why it’s been hard for him to find his way through the maze of high school sex, because who else is going to tell him these things?

Screw it, Kitty thinks. “…Ugh, I can’t believe it’s come to this but this is just too sad – I may be able to teach you about these services.”

-

It takes him about four hours to change his mind, as she knew it would. When her phone chimes that evening she has no doubt of who it is. He’s sheepish. Embarrassed beyond belief. Kitty remains bossy and businesslike, laying down the law.

“We can use my room. My parents are never home, we really don’t need your mom walking in and I respect myself just a little too much to try this in a car. But first: ground rules.”

He nods. He’s taking it more seriously than she’s ever seen him take anything in his life.

“One: You keep your clothes on. Sorry, hon, there are probably people in this world who’re into the whole ‘one too many snickers bars or maybe a thousand’ thing, but I’m not one of them.”

A wince. She wonders if she’s going too far. But she’s harsh, he knows she’s harsh, and falling back on harshness feels so easy right now. Her reliable old armor.

“Rule two: You do what I tell you to do and nothing more. Don’t go exploring unless I say so.”

“I wouldn’t,” he objects, turning red. “I would never.” And he’s one of the few boys on earth she actually believes.

“And now you double would never, because I’ll kick your ass and call the cops. Rule three: You have to commit. This requires practice and finesse. Don’t think you can learn it in one afternoon. I’m a busy bitch, so get your ass over here whenever I can schedule you in until you’re good at it.”

A dutiful nod.

“Rule four: The safe word is red.”

“Safe word?”

“People get up to things that aren’t comfortable, that can hurt. If something crosses the line, for either of us, we use the safe word.”

He seems to get that, and take some comfort in it.

“Rule five, and this is the most important rule. This isn’t personal. It’s lessons. I’m doing this because I can’t stand watching you mope around Forever Aloneville anymore and am fucking nice, not for any other reason. I’m not into you. Keep that straight. Okay?”

He nods again, more steadily than before.

“Good,” says Kitty, feeling reassured. And yet… oddly hollow. Probably just because he’s not the only one with a residence in Aloneville, even if his is a more permanent one. Yeah, definitely that. Artie can go to hell. She grabs Roderick’s arm and marches him to her computer. “Time for some anatomy lessons.”

-

Kitty lies on her back in panties and a t-shirt, arms loose at her sides.

Roderick blinks at her.

“Go to the foot of the bed,” Kitty commands. Her skin feels cool, half-clothed in the open air of the room. It’s almost uncomfortable, a faint frisson that raises the flesh of her arms just slightly.

Roderick obeys. He’s without his glasses, eyes wide.

“Find a comfortable position, but your face has to be between my legs.”

He settles himself between her knees. All she can see of him from this angle is his head and shoulders. Clinically, she decides this is acceptable – his shoulders are a good feature, broad and powerful. He could be a bodybuilder from this angle, albeit one with a very smooth, rounded face.

Well, no time like the present. “Kiss your way up my thighs.”

He bows his head. Feather-touches move across her inner thighs, soft, warm, too hesitant. More. “Like you mean it, Meeks. You can use your tongue a little.”

Now it’s a wet pressure, still a little lost.

“Less than that. You’re not a dog. Lips, tongue and breath. Use all three.”

The meandering warm wetness becomes a cascade of sensation, hot breath turning cool as the moisture on her skin evaporates. She feels the faint scratchiness of a half-day’s stubble, and shivers.

Nothing emotional to it, of course. It’s raw physiological sensation, that’s all.

“Good. Work your way up.”

“This isn’t so hard,” Roderick murmurs into the softness of her inner thigh.

“Now pull off my panties with your teeth.”

He stops dead, looking up at her with huge brown eyes. “What?”

Kitty feels a thrill of control. She was hoping for that reaction, just that look of stunned surprise. Her voice grows firmer. “Do it. Fast and a little rough.”

He cannot do it a little rough. That’s a word that is not in his vocabulary. But when he slides her panties down her knees with a look of deep concentration and a gentleness she can only describe as tender, Kitty decides to permit it.

The panties fall forgotten at the foot of the bed. His brown eyes widen. Strange, how, exposed as she is, Kitty doesn’t feel vulnerable. She feels powerful. Her vulnerability has become her power.

“Start with your mouth. I’ll make you use your hands later, but it has to be as wet as possible or you can do damage.” She’s damp already, but does not expect it to be enough.

Roderick bows his head again. Kitty feels hot breath, then wetness, and a warm motion against her vulva. She exhales, sharply, involuntarily.

He raises his head again, thinking he’s hurt her somehow. “Sorry- was that-”

“Don’t stop,” Kitty snaps.

He tries his tongue, and the force that made her gasp flows into a warmth that fills her pelvis. All Kitty can see are her bare, smooth knees and his bulky shoulders moving under the embroidered pattern of his shirt, his dark hair, the well-groomed blonde curls between her legs. She wants to play with his hair. She doesn’t let herself. She shouldn’t want that.

Kitty doesn’t think she could possibly be more wet. She’s aching.

“Now. Your hand.”

She expects him to be good at this, the way he touches everything as if to caress it. She’s not wrong. His fingers explore her. She can feel the curiosity in his motions, and the naivety of it is equal parts calming and frustrating; it feels good, but it winds the coil of tension in her hips, tighter and tighter with each wasted second. “Higher. The round thing at the top – yes.” His fingers brush her clit. She shivers.

Then he catches her by surprise. He uses his mouth again. Tongue and fingers and lips and breath in succession. Kitty wonders dimly if he’s thinking to keep her wet, scared of causing her discomfort – or if he’s going off books, finally acting on instinct.

The thought is gone as soon as it arrives. There’s an intense tension building inside her, vibrating in her limbs. “Now,” she gasps. “Two – two fingers. Don’t stop with your mouth.”

He pushes inside her. They’ve talked about this part, used technical terms for this and that, but now all of that is gone. She has no idea what he’s doing. Only that it feels good. A little bulky, rough in texture (guitarist’s hands, she thinks), but good. Kitty quiets, taking it in.

After a few minutes Roderick raises his head. Again the wide eyes framed in a round face. His look begs a question. What now? Is this okay?

This time, Kitty addresses him with tenderness. “Now use your tongue for that,” she says, reaching out to stroke his cheek.

He does. Kitty’s eyes roll back in her head; her breath comes in short gasps. A slow warm wave rolls over her.

She’s orgasmed more intensely before, but this - this is good. It feels needed.

She waits until she can tell he’s flagging, breathing hard. Then she strokes his head to signal he can come up for breath. “That’s enough.”

The warm heat leaves her with a dull glow. Roderick, completely flattened, rolls off to one side and onto the floor with a thump. Kitty gets to her feet, all business once again, finds her panties and pulls them on, followed by a pair of pajama bottoms. “Not bad for a first try,” she says matter-of-factly. “Technique shows a lot of promise. You need to work on endurance.”

Roderick looks stunned by what he’s just done. She hands him a water bottle from the bedside table and watches him gulp half of it down, his chest heaving.

-

After a few runs he can keep going longer. Kitty snaps at him if he tries to stop too early. He gets a kicked-puppy look about him, apologetic and eager to please. She teaches him to use his hands and mouth and even his voice. Kitty gets accustomed to spending many of her nights with a loose satisfaction in every limb. Brown eyes enter her dreams.

Nobody at school has a clue about her new servant, and like a good servant he understands discretion. She’s harder on him than she ever was before, to bury the evidence. He pretends to feel every verbal jab, never acknowledging their secret.

-

On the eighth night of the lessons she lets him into the house with the same businesslike manner as ever, leads him up to her room and closes the door. She lies down. Roderick takes up his usual place at the foot of the bed. Kitty shakes her head at him. “Not this time.”

Roderick looks up at her, obviously confused. “…Something else this time?”

“On the bed.”

There’s apprehension in his eyes, but he obeys.

“Unbutton your shirt.”

It’s the same reaction as when she first told him to take off her panties with his teeth, but amplified, and tinged, now, with fear. “But- rule number one-”

“Fuck rule number one. I made the rules, I can change them.”

“I don’t-”

Kitty shakes her head at him. “Too bad. Do it.”

The look he gives her is so readable that she gives in, just a little. “You’re going to have to get used to this sooner or later,” says Kitty, a touch more gently. “Call it the next lesson. You need to be naked for it to work. And I can’t tolerate one more second near those horrible cowboy shirts. C’mon, hurry up. Clothes off.”

He shuffles out of his button-up and the white t-shirt he wears underneath it. His jeans and boxers fall in a pile on her floor.

“Lie down,” commands Kitty.

She looks at him. She makes a point of it, guarding her expression for a long moment.

He’s broad and very pale, enough that she doubts the skin of his chest has seen the sun in years. His chest and upper arms are thick and soft. Wide hips support a protruding belly lined with what Kitty thinks must be stretch marks. Dark hair forms a tidy diamond shape on his chest and another between his legs. The overall impression is one of softness and vulnerability.

While Kitty takes all this in, Roderick watches her with a frozen expression. Every muscle in his body is taut under the fat. He looks like he’s an inch away from bolting. But he’s also hard, something far more obvious now than it ever has been in these lessons.

A crooked smile tugs at Kitty’s lips.

“…Can you please just do whatever you’re going to do and get it over with?” he asks, through gritted teeth.

“Feeling exposed?” she asks him, teasingly.

“Kitty…”

“I was exposed earlier. Fair is fair, Meeks.”

He has no response for that, and stares balefully up at her.

“Now it’s my turn,” says Kitty.

A small part of her wonders why she’s doing this. Maybe it’s charity, like she told him; maybe this is the best thing for him. She’s grown… fond of him, after all. But there is a thrill of energy that runs down her smile when she seems him like this,  vulnerable and luscious and exposed, and she can’t explain that with fondness. It’s darker and sweeter than that. She climbs into the bed, on top of him.

Kitty starts at his shoulders and moves up and down his body. She pokes and prods and kisses and bites at every inch of him in turn, cruel one minute and kind the next. Her teeth leave faint red marks in thighs so white and soft that they are almost creamy. She grabs his ass, feeling evil satisfaction at how it is so much more than a handful. She kisses his arms and his large hands. She nuzzles against the strong line of his collarbone. His terrified silence begins to yield to twitches and moans as slowly his whole body relaxes. Until she runs a hand down his stomach, and he flinches.

“What are you so afraid of?” Kitty asks him, crossing her arms.

“People’ve made cracks about my weight since day one,” says Roderick, wincing, screwing up his face painfully. “You’ve made cracks about my weight since day one. And now you’re breaking your own rules and I’m… waiting for it all to turn into a joke, or something.”

Kitty sucks in a breath. She thought the fear in his eyes would fade quickly, but it hasn’t.

She lowers her eyes and gets off him, clambering away to sit at the edge of the bed. “I shouldn’t have done this,” she blurts.

Even hard as a rock and with every nerve on overdrive, Roderick seems to perceive something is wrong. He moves closer and reaches out a hand. “Wait, what’s wrong?”

“You don’t like this,” Kitty finds herself saying. “You’re not comfortable. I shouldn’t be doing this to you.” She sees it now - an ugly truth settling over her. She has power over him, and that’s what excites her. She remembers being vulnerable. Being helpless at the hands of someone more experiences, more powerful. She remembers feeling ugly and exposed. She knows now that this has been all about taking back what he stole from her. She’s known it from the start, in some dark part of her subconscious.

What is unforgivable is that she’s done it at Roderick’s expense. Nobody deserves to feel the way she felt.

Kitty bites her lip, feeling a stinging pain in her throat.

“I didn’t say red,” says Roderick, quietly.

In all honesty, Kitty forgot about red. She’s never actually used a safe word. By the time she knew they existed she did not need them.

“Nobody forced me to stay,” he says, a little more firmly. “My name may be Meeks but I’ve been around long enough not to let you do anything I really didn’t want. I felt like you could hurt me – but you didn’t. It felt good. It’s like you said, this is good for me.”

“I don’t actually know whether it’s good for you or not,” admits Kitty. Hating herself. “Maybe I just get drunk off power like the bitch I am…”

It’s then that she recognizes, in a rush of regret, that there is a third force motivating her through these ‘lessons’. “...And maybe I just wanted to get my hands on you without sacrificing my pride.”

That stuns him into silence.

“I think the lessons are over, Roderick.” She swallows. “It’s my fault. You were an exceptional pupil and I broke all the rules on you – I took your clothes, I pushed things without permission and I tried to twist this for my own fucked-up motivations. I’m sorry.”

Roderick’s quiet for another moment. It lasts eternity. Then at last he breaks the silence. “…You broke rule five?”

Kitty slowly glances up at him. His hopeful little smile carves a dimple in his left cheek.

Fuck rule five, she thinks, and grabs his face with both hands, kissing him soundly in reply.

When they break apart he’s beaming. Shyly elated, all nervousness gone.

Kitty presses him back against the bed and crawls on top of him. “Okay, now it’s really my turn.”

[roderane]

*whispers* if I were somehow able to pull myself together enough to write Kitterick smut would people read it

[roderane]

Reuniting with @sammy_ware tonight Vega, Lincoln NE! #gleek #glee

Noah Guthrie from Lincoln, Nebraska

Watch this quick guys. It made my heart really happy. Cute pair of precious dorks and NOW I’M TERRIFIED NOAH FOUND MY PAGE DURING HIS HOURS ON TUMBLR

[humanbeanisnotamused]

Sammie ware is the human manifestation of !!!!!!!!!!!!

[roderane]

also noah’s face at the beginning it’s his camera face

you’re welcome

[roderane]

Oh no they're so cute. She is so cute but then they are so cute oh no

Sammie has zero chill. None. I love how Noah’s so chill and you can just see him thinking Oh my god this girl is such a dork I love her to bits. Like he’s the cool one and she’s the nerdy friend he occasionally facepalms at but would do anything for.

[roderane]

Reuniting with @sammy_ware tonight Vega, Lincoln NE! #gleek #glee

Noah Guthrie from Lincoln, Nebraska

Watch this quick guys. It made my heart really happy. Cute pair of precious dorks and NOW I’M TERRIFIED NOAH FOUND MY PAGE DURING HIS HOURS ON TUMBLR

[roderane]

So Noah tweeted something like "So excited to be sharing a stage again with this sweetie in august" with a video of Sammie Ware and I am so delighted by all of it.

THAT’S MY SHIP!

…*coughs* among others.

But legitimately, why am I not in Nebraska in mid-August?

[pareidoliarps-deactivated201906]

I kind of feel that Kitty doesn't originally mean to take care of them, the kids in the glee club, but she gets there and looks around and good lord, someone has to. Also that they force her to take plunges she's not yet ready for. Mason brings Jane to sit with the cheerios one day but it's fine, she's a little weird but Mason is weirder, and she's pretty and she's rich so okay. And then one day he brings (drags) RODERICK, which is what were you thinking. And there's silence and (contd)

Roderick is waiting for them to like kill him and god, Mason, why did you do this, and then Kitty has to swallow hard and reinforce her ‘i don’t care what they think’ and slides her stuff over next to Roderick and picks up a conversation with him like he’s an old friend. (Unspoken: he is one of mine. Don’t you dare touch him.)

lays down

tries not to cry

cries a lot

this also opens the door for roderane friendship/relationship–this is again deviating from canon and indulging my ridiculous mcwilde dreams; originally jane’s there for mason and roderick in some weird way was there for kitty (team parents need cheering on too, even when they’re cheerleaders, Roderick learns, because it is difficult to be on the top of the pyramid and more than once she’s fallen–literally and emotionally) and somewhere along the way it was Mason there for Kitty, catching her, and Jane there for Roderick, sitting with him on the cold stands while they watched the people they loved–in different, also good ways–fall and get back up again, over and over again, and smile wider each and ever time.

[roderane]

Whoops, I did a thing with this, I hope you like it

“Hasn’t he got lovely legs?”

Roderick glances from the pitch - where his attention is only half on the cheerleaders, at best, because Roderick’s interest in sports begins and ends with his friends - and smiles, that warm helpless smile Jane has come to realize means he has many thoughts in his head, competing for space. He once told her his inner monologue is noisy. Sometimes he has to seek out quiet just to make sense of his own emotions. “I’m not the ideal judge of Mason’s legs,” he reminds her.

“It’s a new era,” says Jane, nudging his shoulder playfully. “Gone are the days when men cannot acknowledge one another’s physical attractiveness.”

“Oh, no, it’s not that. I’ve told Spencer a dozen times he’s attractive. ‘Disgustingly gorgeous’, that’s the phrase of choice. I just, you know, I’d feel strange talking to you like that about they guy you were dating?”

“Why? I’ll talk to you all day about Kitty’s legs. The turn of her calves, unf.”

Roderick gives her a look, because he knows she’s just winding him up, but he says it anyway, and that’s what gives him away. “Kitty and I aren’t dating.”

“Yet,” prompts Jane.

“Yeah, right after I become star quarterback.”

This time, his laugh has an edge of bitterness to it. It’s a bitterness that Jane won’t acknowledge. She doesn’t let people dwell in emotions that will only harm them. She frowns, then leans in so that the girls sitting in the frown of bleachers behind them won’t hear. “Madison heard from Skylar you had a moment last week.“

Roderick blinks. “How does Skylar know th-”

He cuts himself off. Too late. "So it’s true?”

“That’s just Warbler gossip, Jane.”

“No it’s not.”

He sighs. “Look, nothing really happened, she was just handing me sheet music and our hands kind of touched a little too long and then awkwardness happened. It wasn‘t like a moment moment.”

“Well I think she likes you.”

“Jane…”

He’s all but pleading with her. Jane understands why. Roderick’s heart is a much-abused thing, a thousand little faultlines to it, where Jane’s is strong and new and innocent and Kitty’s is broken into two clean halves. She also knows how the world works. She wouldn’t suggest that Kitty might be interested - wouldn’t get his hopes up like that, nor risk his humiliation - if she didn’t have real evidence. But she can’t share it. Kitty swore her to secrecy. It’s a girl code thing.

For the record, Jane thinks any heterosexual girl would have to be out of her mind not to be interested once she’s heard him sing, but she’s told him that before and he simply doesn’t believe it. It’s like he can’t. Jane sniffs. “I call it like I see it.”

“Why would she possibly like me?”

“Meeks, I will cut you.”

“I know, I know. Negative talk only reinforces society’s ludicrous, fabricated ideals and their negative impact on your self-worth.” He quotes her verbatim. “But can we please be brutally realistic here? We’re nothing alike, what can I give her that she’d want?”

Jane is surprised to find that the answer rises to her tongue immediately, a truth she didn’t realize she knew. “Support.” He’s clearly confused, so she carries on. “Kitty’s supposed to be invulnerable. People expect that of her. Add that shield to her Cheerio work, her ambitions and her role in the club… She’s got to be a performer in every single aspect of her life. Now that is exhausting, and I know from personal experience.” She does. Growing up in a performing family, being trotted out to perform at every gathering, that was one thing. That was fine. But she remembers Dalton, in the early days, and spending every minute ready to be judged as the only girl there. They all either sneered at her or wanted to sleep with her. Or both. And that’s Kitty’s world now. Even her confession about a teeny-weeny crush on a shy, chubby boy was only given under the influence of a lot of raspberry vodka.

Jane’s learned a lot about support this year. Leaving Dalton, she felt like her rights had been cut down. She had something to prove, a driving ambition. She wanted the spotlight. But, first with Roderick, and then with Mason… she yielded the spotlight to both her boys, supported them from the backup line or the wings of the stage, and… there was a joy to it. A joy she never expected. They need her and she’s there for them, and watching them succeed fills her with pride.

Sometimes the spotlight still lands on her. Jane loves those moments. But she’s not grasping for them any more, because, with her team by her side, she no longer feels she needs them. Solos won’t prove her worth to the Warblers. There was never any need for her to prove it to begin with.

She puts a hand on Roderick’s arm. “Kitty needs someone who’ll come to her games and watch her perform.”

“…Like you do with Mason?” asks Roderick, hesitant, piecing it together.

Jane smiles. She can’t help it. “Yeah.” Then she puts the smile, and the daydream that spurred it, to bed, because there are serious things at hand. “More than that, she needs someone safe and nonjudgmental. Someone she can trust to listen to ugly secrets and never tell a soul or pick her up after a rough night and not try to touch her boob.”

Roderick laughs, in spite of himself. Jane stares at him with wide, wild eyes. “You think I’m kidding? Don’t touch her boob. Ever.”

“What if she asks me to?” He’s giggling now. Jane’s inches from it herself, barely holding on.

“You may then be permitted to touch the royal boob. Provided her majesty isn’t silly on raspberry vodka again.”

“Why just the one boob?”

“I don’t know, who made you the boob expert?”

“I’m told two is the standard number.”

“Can you cite that?”

They giggle, barely watching the game, and Jane’s head falls on Roderick’s shoulder, just for a moment. She wonders. What would it be like to have support, instead of giving it? To have Roderick by her side instead of Mason, and to shine in the spotlight while he held her up, instead of standing in the wings while Mason belts his heart out or sitting in the bleachers while he he twirls his ribbons at the game?

Some things, you couldn’t know, in this life.

[roderane]

I was tagged by humanbeanisnotamused

Rules: Repost and tag 10 people you want to get to know better!

Name: Mary


Nickname: Mare-bear, marmalade


Birthday: 10 January


Star Sign: No.

Gender: Female


Height: 5′4

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Romantic Orientation: Straight


Favorite Color: Turquoise

Time and date at the moment: 6:59pm, June 28th, 2015 (I’m so late getting to being tagged in this it was like 8 days ago)

Average hours of sleep per night: 6.5

Lucky Number: Why?

The Last Thing I Googled: CRISPR/Cas9 applications structural biology

First word that comes to mind: Rain


One place that makes you happy: The Harvard Commons book shop/coffeeshop/pub

How many blankets do I sleep under: Two, but they’re not necessarily on top of me. I make a nest.


Favorite Fictional Character: You are cruel. Dr. Stephen Maturin, fighting naturalist.

Favorite TV Show: Tie between Sherlock and Monty Python’s Flying Circus.


Favorite Musician/Band: Ella Fitzgerald.


Last Movie I Saw in Theaters: Mad Max: Fury Road.

Dream Job: Professor/Principal Investigator at a good uni.

Wearing right now: flannel shirt, U of T hoodie, jeans

Last Book I Read: Barney’s Version, by Mordecai Richler

Tags: I don’t honestly talk to too many people on here and the main person I do talk to tagged me already so I guess jazzypizzaz, januarium, wthispattysimcox and mypatronusisklaine?

[jrhighsmallpotatoesrps-deactiva]

Kitterick for that ship meme. (I couldn't resist tehehe)

(here come the feels)

NOT ANOTHER SHIP MEME ;; SUPER LONG EDITION

who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation

Kitty. She just felt like getting one and didn’t feel like she needed Roderick’s permission. He doesn’t mind, though because he likes dogs.

who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them

Roderick doesn’t like getting pictures taken of him so Kitty. 

who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy

Kitty again. She’d roll her eyes and complain every second she gets but secretly she enjoys it because Roderick’s happy.

who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them

Neither. Roderick doesn’t see the appeal and Kitty thinks horror movies are stupid. Both, they just spend the entire time pointing out the mistakes.

who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them

Roderick would probably be constantly studying (maybe learning a new song or something) and Kitty would either walk past him enough times to get his attention or just stare at him until he asked what she wanted.

who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated

Kitty but she’d play it off as her finger hitting the wrong app. Her finger hits the wrong app every time.

who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do

Roderick would storm out. Sometimes Kitty gets him to that place and he doesn’t want to be around her when he is. Kitty would sit quiet for a while before she starts crying.

who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows

Kitty loves watching the old black and white tv shows that only come on really late and she almost always falls asleep, but Roderick always carries her back to their bed.

who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky

Kitty.

who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car

Roderick but only when Kitty starts slinging suds.

who has more fun decorating the house during holidays

Roderick, but he keeps it inside. Kitty sees right through him, though.

who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other

Kitty would try to, but Roderick’s such a quiet guy that she gives up fairly early and starts talking to him again.

who plays with the others’ hair more

Kitty likes to play with Roderick’s hair when he’s asleep.

who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored

Kitty.

who tries to kiss the other as often as they can

Roderick. He’d kiss her randomly and Kitty would stare at him, trying to figure out if he really did that because he’s never like that.

who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up

Kitty. She wouldn’t pout, she’d just stare at him until he got uncomfortable and apolgized.

who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up

Kitty mostly initiates but sometimes she teases Roderick enough to where he’d start things. Kitty would walk away.

who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one

Roderick would forget the umbrella. Kitty would blame his headphones and pull out hers.

who demands showering first in the mornings

Kitty.

who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings

Kitty. But Roderick doesn’t know until she either starts singing along with him or ripping on his choice of song. He’s a shower singer in this.

who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games

They both hate rollercoasters so they just hangout by the games, challenging each other and trying to win big prizes.

who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond

Kitty. She refuses to be ignored.

who always forgets to charge their phone overnight

Roderick. Sometimes he forgets because he’s used to not having to use it so much.

who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets

Kitty.

who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can

Kitty would hug him, only when they’re alone. Roderick doesn’t hug, but he does brush his hand against hers.

who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet

Kitty’s louder, but once in a while Roderick will raise his voice. They’ll both tell each other to be quiet.

[roderane]

Love. Need. The idea of Roderick studying and Kitty trying to distract him without quite looking like she’s trying to distract him is now 100% headcanon.