Life on a Stick

Hi! Have a great day everyone!

[tropiyas]

[robustmyaft]

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

[meme-theft]

[vvitchella]

… No one’s gonna say anything about this legendary camerawork?

[doot-meister-deactivated2021031]

Or the amazing choreography?

[babyanimalgifs]

What kind of pokemon is this?

[nukenai]

an electric toothbrush

[zulies-doodles]

For the love of god turn the sound on

[sparrf-blog]

i keep thinking about that tribe of baboons where all the alpha males died from eating poison garbage and then the baby boy monkeys were taken care of by the lady monkeys and never got socialized to be aggressive so they all just live peacefully and groom eachother instead of fighting and killing eachother and its been generations of that, it only took 1 wipeout of the aggressive males to change the whole social order of the species i am crying they must be so much happier

[theclassykindoftrasy]

……….I have an idea.

[geoclaire]

don’t we all

[fluffmugger]

You’re missing half the story. When adolescent males from other groups came to join, they learned very rapidly that being an arsehole baboon was not fucking tolerated, and completely stopped the behaviour and integrated with the group.

Arseholes only thrive when you let them. 

[elljayvee]

Only the aggressive males died; the non-aggressive ones didn’t go on garbage dump raids and so they survived just fine. This was about half the adult males in the troop. The suddenly-without-mean-competition males didn’t get aggressive and take over and start being giant jerks; they stayed the same pleasant baboons they had always been.

The researcher studying this troop was asked what he had learned about stopping violence in society and he said “Kill all the aggressive young males” and I think about that a lot.

[world-of-cats]

[oracleferrett-deactivated202104]

T a k e n

[nepofledgling]

[batcii-archive-deactivated20210]

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

[hugisak]

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

[tattooedsiren]

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

[saywhatjessie]

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

[timemachineyeah]

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

[optimysticals]

Yes. Good.

[jukeboxemcsa]

Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)

And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.

[holmesianscholar]

thisTHIS

[greymantledlady]

Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Yoooooooo gimmie

[blue-le-q]

[beachdeath]

the most #UselessLesbian thing i have ever done was when i was trying to figure out if this girl liked me or not, just constantly arguing with myself about it, and after a couple, uh, months, of this, i was like, “god i wish i could just like… go to court and lay out all this evidence and have a couple lawyers argue over the TRUE MEANING of her text messages, and then a judge tells me if she likes me or not.” and then the proverbial lightbulb went off over my proverbial head, and i dug into my mock trial folder from high school and found the trial guidelines and i wrote out an entire trial transcript featuring a plaintiff (me), my attorney (my wildest hopes and dreams), a defense attorney (my worst fears and insecurities), and a judge (my desperate attempt at rationality). the final product was several thousand words long. it clarified nothing. at any point in this process did it occur to me to ask her how she felt about me? absolutely not. did i ever stop and think, “hey, maybe i should tell her that i like her?” absolutely not. that’s for people who take risks and i don’t take risks i take myself to court in my own head.

[kelssiel]

grade A romcom material here just picture the movie:

a harried law student meets a pretty girl (maybe she’s an artist or something else cheesy and romantic) the pretty girl flirts with her but she can’t decide if it’s just being friends or actually flirting

she gets together with her friends and over the course of a few days holds an epic mock trial that draws more and more of a crowd until the pretty girl finds out

at the last minute the pretty girl rushes into the courtroom shouting “i have new evidence to present to the court,” the mock judge asks her to step forward and she just kisses the law student

the courtroom cheers

case closed ruled in favor of the defendant

later after they graduate they get married at the courthouse

[romanianbarnes]

thor: so, do i have a brother or a sister today?

loki: since you ate my last piece of pie, today you have an enemy

[louises-belcher]

No one really understands how much compliments actually mean to me, like I sometimes brush them off with a joke and a quick “thank you,” but really, I remember compliments forever, so if you’ve ever complimented me or done something nice for me, thank you so much.

[romanianbarnes]

me: please don't panic and overanalyze things again

brain: how bout i do a n y w a y

[wlwellbutrin]

textbook: (historical figure) remained celibate throughout their entire life

me, a homosexual who Knows Better: sure

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“She never took a husband and so must have died a virgin, in the house she shared with the woman who was her best friend and constant companion who she was inseperable from”

Me: (Looks at camera like I was on The Office)

[lcarma-deactivated20130730]

being a girl is really fucking expensive

[michaeljacks0ff]

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES

[srushtinator-deactivated2015012]

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA SOUNDS, PAP SMEARS, OB/GYN VISITS, BRAS, CLOTHES, MAKE UP, HAIR PRODUCTS TO GO ON DATES WITH FUCKERS LIKE YOU?

[dutchster]

[cricket sounds]

[blossite]

*drops the mic*

[give-my-regards-to-broadway]

Also who gets paid less to begin with?

[queenhermione]

WHOMP THERE IT IS

[romanianbarnes]

*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

[romanianbarnes]

me: I really!!!! want!!! people!!!! to help!!!! me with!!!! my problems!!!!!!!

brain: you have to tell people about your problems first.

me: disgusting. atrocious. completely repugnant. I have never heard anything so vile. get out of my sight immediately.

[nahiri-deleted-deactivated20191]

worldbuilding process:

step 1: make up some cool mysterious shit step 2: desperately struggle to figure out why all the cool shit is there