Rose

your favorite dipshit dog.

[rosebud2829]

Tumblr is my personal outlet of feelings cuz only like one person actually reads my blog <3

so please enjoy my rants,my thoughts,and random word puke that i have to offer <3

[rosebud2829]

I wanna go back and tag all my posts properly (will leave tags below) but everytime i do i get dragged up by my ankles when it refreshes. Theres claw marks in the sides of my profile from my nails scraping the code.

Just gotta wait to get my charger fixed so maybe i can do it on my computer -m-

[rosebud2829]

Random LGBTQ rant under the cut

People forget/dont know im gay because i dont expressly state it. "Oh i forgot, shes gay" L, imagine forgetting IM RIGHT HERE.

Reason people forget is because most have never seen me express my attraction to women or female presenting people before because its rare that i show it. The most my nervous ass can do is compliment.

I think women are pretty. I think theyre smart and talented and so very very incredible. Im just so very scared of making a woman uncomfortable because i can be unusual at times and i dont really look all too appealing so i dont think that any girl would have an interest in me. The closest ive gotten recently to fully falling for a girl was seeing a friend in drag and he flustered the fuck out of me because he was so pretty. I havent felt that way with someone in years.

Idk, just a random thought i had getting iut of the shower earlier. I wanna kiss girls but i dont trust them and im scared im gonna be weird and get laughed at.

[rosebud2829]

Great, now i have TWO people that i need to avoid thinking about because they need to get off of my brain. Getting quickly attached is not for the weak.

[rosebud2829]

I debated putting this on main or side blog but I think it can js go on main. (Under the cut is me being confused about people finding me attractive. You should prolly skip this one I'm just putting it on the online diary because it deserves to be here.)

Realizing I'm hot/attractive is a shocking realization to me every single time.

Having a friend who I've known for a year and who I've mutually flirted with kiss me at a party and then text me later saying he wouldve done more and wanted to do that for a long time, that he loves how I look and that I'm sexy. Getting an offer from another friend over VC for an ASMR video because he really really wants it, then another friend agreeing. When I tell him its shocking that he of all people would say that, I'm told that he finds my voice soothing and he gets to find out that it flustered me in every way possible

People having crushes/getting attached to me online with my personality and how I choose my words and then when they actually see my face or hear my voice instantly getting more clingy and praising everything about me

Having multiple people finding interest in me is a weird concept, I really don't get it most of the time because ? Me? you like me? ??? Question mark?

[rosebud2829]

Chat it happened again.

Yeah so its currently 3am, ive been talking to the guy that called my voice soothing for around 2 hours now, apparently he likes me. Is there something in the water?

[rosebud2829]

living in this house is so fun! in the span of 2 hours we went from snacking around (and me planning to just make a grilled cheese) to both parents being pissed off and making tostada's.

I JUST WANTED TO GRILL MYSELF A CHEESE

[rosebud2829]

One of the peak points of me loving someone is how i act in moving vehicles like on a car or bus ride. I get vertigo when i look at something like a screen while on car rides and i get a little sicker the longer i look. Its like a stacking queasy feeling. I also mainly have my headphones in during car rides bc if i look outside i tend to get anxious and music helps me.

We went to a big fancy theater for a field trip a while back and i was ofc sitting next to a friend. Now, homie likes to show me videos a lot so he was showing me specifically Frickbears 3 and a whole walkthrough of characters and behaviors and different endings ect ect, it took up the ride there + ride to go get lunch before heading back. I was able to tough it out most of the ride there, not getting too badly car sick until right when we were about to go get lunch and were like 10 minutes out. He wanted to show me something else and the following interaction happened

"Hey lets take a break until after lunch, my car sickness is hitting me" "you get car sick?" "Yeah kinda, i just get a queasy feeling if i stare at a screen while driving. Ill be fine once we get off for a little bit though" *realizing he had been showing me a video and pretty much making me stare at a screen for approx. 1~2 hours total at that point* "Why didnt you tell me anything?!" "Bc i wanted to listen to what you were talking about."

We ended up talking more halfway home and watching again (the gap was because something happened that got me emotional not due to sick) but i thought fondly of that little story recently.

[rosebud2829]

School needs to start up again. Theyre yelling abt a battery. A battery for a tool. I have this bubbling anger to tell them both to shut the hell up so i can get some fucking peace. Im trapped inside this house, with no escape besides maybe going to see family. Im gonna contact some relatives and see if i can hang with them over like a few days because i cannot do this shit.

[rosebud2829]

I debated putting this on main or side blog but I think it can js go on main. (Under the cut is me being confused about people finding me attractive. You should prolly skip this one I'm just putting it on the online diary because it deserves to be here.)

Realizing I'm hot/attractive is a shocking realization to me every single time.

People having crushes/getting attached to me online with my personality and how I choose my words and then when they actually see my face or hear my voice instantly getting more clingy and praising everything about me

Having a friend who I've known for a year and who I've mutually flirted with kiss me at a party and then text me later saying he wouldve done more and wanted to do that for a long time, that he loves how I look and that I'm sexy.

Getting an offer from another friend over VC for an ASMR video because he really really wants it, then another friend agreeing. When I tell him its shocking that he of all people would say that, I'm told that he finds my voice soothing and he gets to find out that it flustered me in every way possible

Having multiple people finding interest in me is a weird concept, I really don't get it most of the time because ? Me? you like me? ??? Question mark?

[rosebud2829]

"man idk how people eat food that hurts them. couldn't be me." proceeds to continue eating my second baggie of Xtreme sour patch kids bc they may hurt but the pain isnt killing me yet

[newrider]

[wamscoastsmoker]

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

[notsocialphobixanymorelmao-deac]

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

[wamscoastsmoker]

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[rosebud2829]

hm.

*edit: I JUST REALIZED IT LOOKS LIKE JIMMY IS GRABBING THE COMMANDERS BAT CHEEKS

[rosebud2829]

Random love frustration vent

The universe keeps pushing me towards one person, and like NO. STOP. Please?! Thats the one person that i already tried going with and he shot it down, so i immediately alt + f4 any and all idea of liking him like that. But it still happens to be where either i get told someone has a crush on me way too late, or theyre online, or a guy that i have interest in doesnt have interest in me (or just is talking to sm1 else) and its like?? Can you not?? Would i mind being with him? Not at all, id actually probably not mind that minus the fact hes my best friend and if i fumble that shit ill never let myself live it down. Do i have any sort of shot? Probably not! But also hes never described what kind of girl he likes, and i dont think he ever will with me around. Idfk im just so sick of this crap, universe needs to get off my ass pls.

[rosebud2829]

I shouldve signed up for charter school. I wish summer school lasted longer. Cuz wdym its 9am and i woke up to hella yelling?

[xalatath]

I have never, and will never, use "ofc" to mean "of fucking course". It literally stands for OF Course...

[rosebud2829]

Maybe, just maybe, if i see him less and talk to him less and think about him less the feeling will go away.

[rosebud2829]

Very nice dream brain, very cool. Yes i see that it involved that one human. Yes i see that. Yes i saw that specific detail that you wont stop making me remember, can you please stop showing me it actually?