🌹Rose🌹

I am Rose. I am 16 years old.

[rosenthor]

Hello I am Rose! This is where I let myself be more open about who I am. I use the name Rose because I find it to be very symbolic to me. Anyway a little about me

I like...

● Cats of all kids!

● Roses (especially Cabbage Roses)

● TV shows like Bob's Burgers, Somebody Feed Phil, Law & Order, Supernatural, and Gravity Falls

● The colors red, amber, and yellow

● Music like rock, heavy metal at times, classical, jazz, and rap. My favorite artist being Eminem

If you are 18 or older I need to ask you to please leave my account alone. Just don't bother.

[rosenthor]

50 posts!

[free-my-mindd]

[rosenthor]

I can say. A good sandwich can fix you

[rosenthor]

I was out with one of my friends who is on the i guess gender spectrum. I am not sure really. I've asked them to explain it to me, but there was a lot to cover. Anyway. They referred to me as a cisgender. I get that people use that term to people who are born female or born male and prefer to stay that way. But being referred to that made me uncomfortable. I didn't like it. When I asked them why all they said was "it is what you are right?". I mean I guess. But I prefer young woman. She/her. And i got funny looks. I dunno. Being called cisgender made me uncomfortable. I just got comfortable being in my femininity. Why do I need to get a new label for it?

[rosenthor]

Being the eldest of any family sucks. Being the eldest daughter is absolutely awful. I have my mother yes, and I love my mother yes. But there are times where I feel like I am a damn verbal punching bag because she doesn't know how to process her emotions. My mother was an eldest daughter and now she has an eldest daughter to level with. But we are different. I don't lash out when I get frustrated. My sister doesn't talk to me. When I try to she pushes me out her god damn door! But guess what! I still care for her! Help her with school even though she pushes me away! Help her boyfriend feel at home! Sometimes I want to just pull my hair out, crawl into a corner, scream and cry until my voice is stripped out of my throat. And then and only then will I lay my head down. And sleep until it all goes away. I just feel like I am drowning in my own home. Because I don't have friends and haven't had true friends in a long time, because I can't feel like I can talk to my own mother, my own sister ignores me, and I will forever live with the fact that I am not attractive to anyone. Which is the one thing I have begged and asked for and prayed for. For someone to be with me, understand me, to love me, and help me, help me get away from everything and to be centered. Not stuck.

[rosenthor]

I am in love with a thought. A thought that I could have someone in my life who loves me romantically. A thought that has me in his arms. But he has no face, hair, skin tone, smell. Just a body. I am in love of the thought that I can share everything with him and he can share everything with me. I am love with that.

It is just a thought. A wish in a way. Wishful thinking. I do not think I could ever be in that kind of love. Unconditional love, a relationship where we both strive to do 100 percent for each other, where we can be together on good and bad days. So what do I do? I sit. I wait. I dream. I try to find him. My thought. My idea. If I meet him or not. I love him anyway. My thought.

[rosenthor]

School is going to be starting for me again soon. And the way that thought has affected me mentally is astonishing. My sister has all her sports training in the summer, my mom is planning back to school clothes, and supplies. And i have never been more depressed. Annoyed. And pissed off than now. Just thinking about going to school has me curling up in a ball, gripping at my hair, and screaming.

It's not that I am a bad student. Or have a bully. I am actually a pretty good student and have a decent amount of people I can rely on. It's just the fact that I have to go through the sitting in a chair for eight hours, be pressured about grades, pressured about collage, about my future, and having to be at the Beck and call of my fucking school! To be held in the walls and halls, to deal with the screeches and screams and yelling and brain rot of my fellow classmates. To be shoved into a room with all that too! I. Can't. Take. It. Anymore! It's just so suffocating that I don't think I can do another year and be the happy and bubbly person I used to be. School just took so much out of me last year. I don't know what it will do this year.

[rosenthor]

I just watched the Birdcage. And oh. My. Goodness! It was amazing! They really don't make movies like they used to anymore! 🤣

[rosenthor]

Finding words to put to what you feel is hard. Especially due to emotions being so complex and forever changing. So I went on a quest through different website dictionaries and older dictionaries. To find a word that could mean, 'having a deep longing for someone but having doubt that someone could ever come.'. And I found one word that fits.

Saudade

-Saudade (noun) is a deep emotional state of melancholic, nostalgic longing for a person, place, or thing that is absent. Originating from Portuguese folk culture, it captures a bittersweet desire for the past and the lingering, quiet realization that the object of your affection may never return.

SAUDADE definition: (in Portuguese folk culture) a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent. See exa

[rosenthor]

Finding words to put to what you feel is hard. Especially due to emotions being so complex and forever changing. So I went on a quest through different website dictionaries and older dictionaries. To find a word that could mean, 'having a deep longing for someone but having doubt that someone could ever come.'. And I found one word that fits.

Saudade

-Saudade (noun) is a deep emotional state of melancholic, nostalgic longing for a person, place, or thing that is absent. Originating from Portuguese folk culture, it captures a bittersweet desire for the past and the lingering, quiet realization that the object of your affection may never return.

SAUDADE definition: (in Portuguese folk culture) a deep emotional state of melancholic longing for a person or thing that is absent. See exa

[rosenthor]

1000 likes!

[rosenthor]

Hey, does anyone have any advice for someone who has 2B to 2C curls? Because I am so done with my hair! I have tried so many different products and routines, and nothing works! It either dries my hair out, makes it oily, or it ruins my hair completely. No one in my family has curly hair. Everyone has straight hair! I am the ONLY ONE! And I am so sick and tired and really upset that everyone in my family keeps trying to tell me how to fix MY HAIR! Believe me, I have done what they said, and every single product has only damaged my hair more and more. I can't take it anymore! So can someone please please help me. A routine, products, anything. I am on my knees, begging and crying. Please 🙏

[rosenthor]

This is such a good song. One of my top five

[aforgottennotebook]

Pcos being renamed to pmos is fitting because it's Pissing Me Off Syndrome

[rosenthor]

It can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT feel that way! 😂😂😂

[rosenthor]

Guys. So, I was out at the farmers market today. And as my family and I were going home, we saw these two boys running a lemonade stand! Of course we bought some and it was good. They were selling lemonade, and their dad's were sitting in the back of their trucks watching them. Like that is peak childhood. I remember my lemonade stand

[rosenthor]

When I watch Bob's Burgers and see Bob and Linda. I get so fucking sad at times. Because it reminds me of what I can never have. I will never have what they have. I go to bed holding my own hand to make myself believe someone else is there. I will never have that kind of relationship. One of unconditional love and support. Like Bob and Linda.

[rosenthor]

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