I am hungry @rotten-meathead - Tumblr Blog

I'm so tired of loving more than I'm loved

I've gotta lose some fucking weight

Why am I so fucking nice. I should have told all of them to fuck off. How dare they speak to me like that. How dare they treat me like that.

Drinking alone yay

dogpuppy

Eddy is the most beautiful soul I've ever met. I think he's a continuation of me

I have moved out. I have new friends to help me build furniture. I have a beautiful boyfriend. I hope I deserve this

Day three in the hospital. I'm not writing as much, huh? Don't even wanna talk about the diagnosis or anything. It's all okay.

I just finished reading my first novel in maybe a decade. Physically reading, not an audiobook. It was only around 200 pages with large text, but I read it in a couple days, the entire second half of it I read tonight in one sitting. Man a couple beds next to me snores all night, and is begging to be able to go pee, but he has a catheter in. I can't understand him very well but I think he keeps shouting "I'm human". It's heartbreaking. It's nearly 7 AM, I think I just need to turn my music on. I feel bad for every party involved.

In my memories of our first date I am knocking over my rum n coke because I am nervously flailing my arms during speech. This didn't even happen in reality but I can't stop picturing it. I was so nervous

Moving out seems more and more possible lately. There's a place in New west that is in my budget. How wonderful could it be to live in a one bedroom apartment? To be completely independent for the first time in my life? I can have people over all the time, and I can spend a lot of time at my parent's, but I can have my own clean space to host and decorate. It's right by a train station. I'll ask my parents what they think. This might be the life style change I need

Met somebody tonight that I just really clicked with. Never experienced such a quick bond. Like maybe it was just a one time hoax, but we're gonna try to catch something at the Rio and see

Trying to bleach a white streak into my hair to be more like creature and its grey and too big and looks like shit. Gonna try another round of toner tomorrow and then get some brown dye to make it smaller

I need to find my way back to him. No relationship is like ours. I will never fill that void

Exacto knife cut today. Been avoiding it for seven weeks but I caved. Does it matter? Life is getting worse and I'm starting to not care

Being apart hurt me so much more than whatever you thought you were protecting me from

Had a dream we talked again and he was totally different. Indifferent. Was talking about wanting to be with some girl. Heart broken I kind of jokingly inquired more about this, clearly implying my feelings towards him, and my surprise that he wouldn't want to be with me. I could see the look of discomfort on his face as he dodged the subject, but it was clear he didn't want to be with me. I felt that discomfort a lot with him

I wish I got to tell you. That night we stayed up, listening to music, showing eachother art, shirtless and lost in each other's embrace- I could have gone to bed like that every night for the rest of my life

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I am hungry