Phone Rings. I notice the caller ID says “unknown caller”. Thinking to myself, okay this is either one of our psycho regulars, or some run of the mill “regular” person would be too embarrassed to release their name for something such as their neighbor’s dog is barking. PSA: DOGS FUCKING BARK LINDA.
ANYWAY, back to my brief phone call.
Me: “Police Department”.
Unknown Female: “Ummm yeah I had kind of a silly question *ha-ha*.”
Me: “try me.”
UF: “Okay so is it illegal for someone to write out the word “BOOBS” on the front of their house in Christmas lights?”
Me, trying to contain my instant urge to explode in laughter, sees an officer coming on station and says “Please hold one second ma’am”. I brief my officer and he raced to the phone eager to take this one.
Officer H: “This is officer ____. How can I help you?”
UF: “Okay, this may sound silly,” (yes Linda, you are a silly goose), “but we have someone that lives on the same street that we live on (last I checked those are neighbors, Linda), and they’ve taken Christmas lights and written BOOBS right on their house! We have kids around and stuff and it’s very unsightly.”
Officer H: “They’re not actual boobs?”
UF: “No, it’s the word “boobs” on the front of their house in big Christmas lights.”
Officer H: “Oooookay.”
UF: “he strung up the lights to read the word “BOOBS”. But you know I have kids and they are asking me questions about this!”
Officer H: “Yeah see the thing is, it’s his house, and chances are if your kids are old enough to read the word boobs, they prooooobably know what they are.”
Shortly after one of my officers had to go by to observe. This picture is the proof. Â