rottinginmoss

i don't know what i have, just that it always hurts, i'm not a minor, but dont be fucking weird pls both the pictures are from pinterest, call me rot :) (Header ID: An overcast scene of several stepping stones in a muddy stream. There are several trees around.) (Profile ID: The half submerged skeleton of an unknown animal, a tree branch is obscuring the viewpoint slightly.)

[grace-is-tired]

I think the most common casual ableism that I experience is people not slowing down when I’m walking with them. These people know I’m disabled, sometimes I’m actively telling them about how it’s difficult for me to walk, and yet they still walk two to three feet ahead and look back at me in annoyance that I’m walking slow. What’s the point of walking faster until you’re a few feet ahead and then slowing down and then speeding up again? Just walk at my speed it’s not that hard!

[zephyr-zephyr]

Who up crying abt their inability to go do the things they love because of chronic illness and pain

[strawbkiwi]

Something that’s always really sad to see when I talk about intersex activism is the clear grief, misogyny, and internalized intersexism a lot of people jump to when I bring up PCOS.

PCOS, especially if you have hyperandrogenism, is an intersex variation. It can cause “male” body and facial hair, infertility, “bottom growth” during puberty, having a deeper voice, and countless other intersex traits. The World Health Organization estimates anywhere from 6-13% of women have PCOS worldwide, and over 70% of them are undiagnosed. Mainly people are put on hormones or birth control to “help,” all without being told they’re intersex. It’s merely a thing to fix, and that if they take a pill or injection they’ll look like a “real woman.”

I bring this up, and the first thing someone always says is usually along the lines of “well I’m not half man!” We have created a binary system that is so violently determined to put people in two bullshit boxes that the immediate response isn’t “maybe I’m something beyond, maybe there is more to this,” but to fight tooth and nail for the system that brought them so much suffering to begin with. 

And that person has gone through so much pain and dysphoria their entire life because of this beyond the other symptoms of PCOS. Everywhere you go, you see picture perfect women with no hair, flat stomachs, soft voices. In porn, you never see anyone with genitals that are like yours–you’re ashamed, you might not even tell your doctor you look different or go to check. You have to shave daily to cope with facing other’s bigotry or your own gender dysphoria, either with how you personally identify or what has just been imposed on you by society, what you think is “wrong.”

I see influencers sell the “PCOS diet.” I see intersex people give themselves eating disorders because not eating food will surely “fix it” as they desperately try to get into the box they simply can’t fit into. Thousands of dollars spent on treatments to hack one’s inherent biology. Dealing with the nightmare that is birth control in an attempt to look smooth and perfect and everything that justifies the “F” on their birth certificate.

And then at the end of some posts about PCOS positivity, you’ll see things like “don’t worry, you’re still a woman despite X!” You are Sisyphus pushing a rock up a mountain. You are not a woman in spite of something, you are not a man because of something. You are human and you are complex and you are you.

All because we label people at birth and sort them into one of two boxes that tell them everything they are meant to be. As many as 13% of women in the world could have PCOS, and we still fucking push for biological sex being the basis of who we are.

[ramblingcitrus]

Why do able-bodied people never take what I say about my disbility at face value? I can be as literal as I can possibly be yet unless I give loads of details they cannot understand what I mean. I don't want to tell them everything all the time, but unless I do, they don't take me seriously. I'm tired.

[fibro-memes]

[tritiumblanket]

i hate when i, a completely healthy person (very chronically ill), get sick (flare up) for no reason at all (i exerted myself way past my limit just cuz i didn’t wanna be “annoying”) (this post is about PHYSICAL DISABILITIES and CHRONIC ILLNESS, please don't derail)

[existennialmemes]

I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

[existennialmemes]

I am no longer explaining my chronic illnesses. I'm only ominously referencing them like I'm a fantasy realm NPC dropping plot hooks:

I am besieged by the affliction

The ritual was successful, but it has drained me. I need time to recuperate.

I can't do that, because of The Curse

Dark forces are conspiring within me. I must conserve my strength to battle them.

Unseen foes assault me. I cannot strike back with blows, but I can lessen their influence by consuming certain alchemical rites.

[mountaincripple]

so unbelievably awesome that chronic pain also makes you a horrible angry person.

like cool, you stole my body, my future, my goals and my dreams and now you’re stealing the essence of my personality and replacing it with this disgusting raging husk of a person!! sick!!! fucking dope!!!

[status-quo-hater]

You have to be normal about intersex people who do not identify as cisgender, not because they are trans; but solely because they are intersex in a way that has fundamentally alienated them from what it typically means to be cisgender.

[trulynamelessworld]

✨ Things I'm insecure about because of my disabilities ✨

Being unreliable

Having a messy room

Abdominal bloating

Not being 100% on top of my hygiene

Having to excuse myself to the washroom more often

Using my mobility aids

Random bruising

My chicken (weak) legs

Having to explain myself to strangers

Taking the accessible seating on the bus/train

Tripping over myself

My brain fog (I used to have a fantastic memory, I feel like I come off as stupid now)

Being super sweaty

Not being "good representation"

Leaving functions early

Sitting on the floor in public

And so much more. This is a reminder that you're not alone in feeling gross or undesirable, it's also okay to feel that way.

Sometimes you need to feel the feelings before you deal with them.

[depsidase]

[rottinginmoss]

my god do i miss dancing, more than anything.

i was a good dancer, great even. i was talented and graceful, i moved nicely, i was proud of myself.

whatever this is stole that from me.

[bebsi-cola]

sending acknowledgement to the developmentally disabled people who struggle with processing their own emotions. where having an emotional response to something itself can cause overwhelm and meltdowns. where even being too happy or too excited will be too much to process and end up causing distress. for every one of us with a frustration tolerance that's incredibly low. it's fine. that's just part of the disability.

[rottinginmoss]

i always feel so guilty

like i can never have a hard discussion with anyone because i get too frustrated and end up shutting down or lashing out, and i dont know where to start at all to like...improve it.

its so hard

[homewrecking]

[homosexualmorelikehomiesexual]

yk what i really need my fellow transmascs to start complaining more. bc i feel like we all KNOW what its Like dealing with. The Shit We Deal With but every time i go to describe it im just. at a loss for words. especially in situations that dont necessarily call for entire paragraphs. i wish talking about transandrophobia was more common in the queer zeitgeist i wish i had more commonly understood phrases and shorthand and references to make people Get It. please. please help me create a wider pool of languahe to pull from bc i am floundering here and ik im not the only one

[rottinginmoss]

let me start with complaining: stuff i hate as a trans guy

- i hate being default they/themmed, and STILL being they/themmed after correcting them (if you use they/them, this isnt abt you)

- i hate when people say "ugh men, not you tho!" or when they talk abt how much they hate masculinity, im not your exception.

- i hate when people say we have to dress like a drywall to pass as masculine, i want expressive clothing, i want style!!!

- i hate when ppl say things like "if men could get pregnant/if men had periods" we can, we do

- i wish more people wouldn't make barely disguised "jokes" like "trans guy names", or "trans guys are so gross and greasy and like little (insert racoon/rat/dog/etc)"

- i wish we weren't seen as like, a "better" version of cis guys

- i wish trans guys/mascs werent barred from women's issues, they affect a large portion of us too

- i wish people wouldn't make gross ass comments aboit our bodies (not everyone is perisex, or looks the same at all)

i agree w you op, i wish we complained mord bc i'm sick of the treatment

[thexie-and-stars]

Friendly reminder that being chronically ill is exhausting

Having chronic pain is exhausting

You're ALWAYS suffering. Even if it's not too much, it's always there

You're always tired

You're always exhausted