❀.ೃ where the forbidden fruit resides
warnings : 18+ MINORS DNI - switch!rick, switch!reader, strangulation, degradation + humiliation, semi-public sex?, religious references, paranoia + insanity through rick, age gap !
pairings : rick grimes x gn!greene!reader -s3
songs i listened to while writing : all wound up, come undone, inbred, gibson girl, unpunishable, Dante, hush, ptolemaea
a/n : definitely didn't come up with this idea drunk... dark religious smut from me once again lolollolol. grimelings were a very big help in making this so love u guys ;))
It was wrong of him to fantasise about you, especially in the way he was.
His cock jittered beneath his tauten grip, stroking the flesh in painfully slow strokes as he disgustingly relished the feeling and thought behind what he was doing. Maybe him doing this was some sort of coping mechanism, something to put his mind off all the death he had endured, something to put his mind off of Lori. Even then, it was far from right, matter of fact, it was so, so wrong.
Still, he continued, hips lifting up in tandem to the flicks of his wrist, letting out quickened and quiet pants as he chased the release that was building, the release that was most unfortunately at the thought of you.
He imagined how it would feel to touch you, to feel your smoothed skin against the coarseness of his own, how it would feel to have his cock inside of you, using you as he pleased, touching you when he knew he couldn't.
Just the thought of touching something that he wasn't supposed to had him nearing his edge, biting down on the insides of his cheeks hard enough to draw blood. The metal of the beds frame was cold against the skin, numbing the nape of his neck as his hand moved at a faster pace than before. He was bumpy now, folding into himself quicker than he had expected and beginning to spasm at his fist, small squirts of cum left to rest on his skin, a reminder of what he’d just done.
The euphoric feeling settled, replacing itself with the guilt he had been prone to feel after the numerous times he had done this. And every time, he would tell himself the exact same thing. He wouldn't do this again.
The next morning, Rick awoke as he usually did, wiping a hand over his face as he forces himself up and out of his cell. Usually, nobody would be awake this early in the morning and for rick, that was great. He enjoyed having a little normalcy of his old life from it, even if it was just the feeling of waking up early like he used too, he was grateful for it.
Walking over to Judith’s crib, he stops in his step, eyes glaring into the back of the person at the foot of the crib, seemingly holding the baby to their chest, doing what he was hoping to. But you’d beat him to it.
Looking at you now, his mind as sickened as it was, had him recollecting what he’d been doing the night before, what he’d been doing a lot of these nights over the past few weeks. His mind forced him to remember how he had been fucking himself to the thought of you and only you. Now, as you held Judith in your arms who showed no signs of irritation, it did nothing to stop these thoughts he was having of you. More so, it made them worse.
Turning on your heel, the sight of Rick has you smiling instantly, a soft expression as you come eye to eye with the father of the child you were so happily looking after.
‘Hey Rick!… you wanna hold her?’
You ask, voice holding the same familiar cheery innocence it always held as you hold Judith to your chest, letting the baby girl nestle into you comfortably. Even with the things you’d seen, you stayed just as you were when he had met you at the farm, pure. And it really got him going.
The sight of you holding his daughter has his mind racing, thoughts he usually had into the night creeping up on him all at once - fuck, he had to control himself.
He stammers, eyes dragging awkwardly across the floor as the shame rises, no longer able to meet your own eyes until you pass him Judith, only meeting for a split second before he turns away in shame.
It was unfair how beautiful you could look without trying. The purse of your lips as you watched him, how attentively you cared for a child that wasn’t even yours, the delicate cross that sat where your collarbones met… it was all so attractive for him, especially when he knew it shouldn’t have been.
So there he was again, choosing to fist his cock instead of trying to get these thoughts of you he’d been plagued with out of sick head. Knowing you were sleeping in the cell block beside him, nimble body curled up in the sheets, scarless and sweet unlike himself, had him getting hotter already.
He didn’t know what it was with you… was it the fact you hadn’t killed a walker? not even once?, or was it how even as leader, he wanted something he knew he couldn’t? somebody far too young for him and somebody who was untouched by the sins he was infected by. you were the perfect example of a christian, just as your father had intended you to be.
The thought, once again, had him whurring towards his release, rocking his hips up faster as he hissed under his breath, trying his hardest to keep himself down. But he just couldn’t.
Your name slipped from his lips before he could stop himself, a soft whimper, but, saying your name aloud made it real. That didn’t mean he was going to stop though.
The sleepy husk of your voice hits him far too late and when it had, he turns his head on tandem, tugging the sheets to cover him in the best way he can, sweat-slicking down strands of hair to his temple.He gulps stiffly, hoping you hadn’t seen what he was doing, or even heard for that matter as he watches you from outside of his cell, eyes reaching your own in the darkness of the cell block outside.
‘y/n… somethin’ wrong darlin’?’
He asks, voice hoarse as he chooses to feign innocence, only thing he could possibly think to do after being caught by the exact person his actions were over. The nickname, used ever so cruelly, has you smiling shyly, just in the way he wanted.
‘can i come in…? I need to talk to you.’
The question, as wonderful as it sounded coming from yourself, has him at a loss for words. His body, still slick and aching under the covers from what you may have seen him doing, froze at the words you spoke. If you had caught him, why were you acting so oblivious to it? Were you feigning this innocence just as he was?… Maybe the fruit that Hershel had nurtured so patiently wasn’t as perfect as he had thought it to be after all.
He ends up replying just a few seconds after, little disorientated but still, sitting up enough for the sheets to bunch around his waist, up against the low-value metal of the prison’s beds, adjusting himself in the best way he could when you come through. You make an effort to move the bars of the cell shut quietly in the lateness of the night, being weary to not wake anybody else up.
You move as carefully as you usually do, being sure to not meet Rick’s observant eyes in the blackness of the space, saved by the light of the moon coming through the prison’s musty block windows, reflecting off your own skin. Sitting on the edge of the bed, the aged springs creak beneath your weight as you settle, fingers fidgeting upon your lap as you struggle to find the words that are tangled and torn through ‘nerves’.
‘I think- I’ve done something bad.’
The words that leave your lips have Rick left confused, leading him to lean in further towards you in reaction, eyebrows furrowed in the slightest at his crow’s feet. He makes a wordless response through expression, the anxiousness that was coming off of you in vast waves washing off onto him aswell.
‘You have too… haven't you, Rick?’
The way you've turned to him now, eyes staring right back at his own, as if you’re trying to challenge him has him raddled, eyebrows still drawn in confusion where they meet but now, much lighter than they had been before, trying to stay calm, even under your hardened gaze.
Your voice, suddenly strong but wavering on its edges has him even more confused. Not once had you defied him, or anybody else for that matter. So, why were you here, in his cell, demeaning him for the actions you had very clearly saw him do. He’d expected you to run back and tell your father if you’d ever caught him, just as a sheep would to their shepherds but instead, you were coming face to face with him on the matter instead. And that scared him a little.
His confusion on the whatever was happening right now is further intensified when you lunge forward, lips colliding with his own in a way that borders on desperation, in a way that makes it seem that you had been wanting this just as bad as he had been fucking himself these nights over it too.
He didn't push back. He matches your intensity, hauling you swiftly to settle atop of him, wasting no time to rid you of your sleeping shirt, adorning your neck with kisses as he does so.
The stir of his cock under the thinned sheets has you rasping out a moan from your throat, the noise muffled by your lips that are pressed against his own again. In response to the stirring of his cock from his earlier activities, you move your hand down, entering the confined area underneath the covers, heat of his member warming your hand before it's even touched.
‘knew I saw you doing this’
You cant’t help but tease as your hand comes into contact with his throbbing cock, a kittenish smile making its way onto your face as you watch him bite back a whimper, eyes fallen low as he looks back at you, feral and submissive, making you move further down onto the print.
Your hips move slowly at first, mirroring the strokes you give to his shaft under the covers, dainty necklace falling back and forth against where your collarbones meet as you rub against him, the movement of the silver cross piece catching his eye and turning him on all the more. And you catch him, just before he leans his head back against the colder wall, paint flaking down as his head falls against the brick.
You press, taking the jewellery around the neck and lacing it around your fingers, smirking down at the man who's now a whimpering mess for the little you’re giving him.
He grunts out, eyes flickering back open from where he rests against the wall, watching as you tease him, the humility of it making him want to turn you over and fuck you senseless for the way you were speaking to him, the way you were making him feel inferior for being caught acting in the way that he had for you. You were nowhere near as innocent as he had believed you to be, as you acted for everybody else… really, you were worse than he was.
‘what? cmon Rick use your words’
You tease further, leaning forward so that your breath can mingle with his own, the hotness of it leaving the two of you dizzy, even with the passion of the moment, hips still moving slowly against his clothed cock and stroking painfully slow, the slickness of his tip proving just how bad you were teasing him. And he’d had enough.
Before you can respond with another quip, he’s got you, body now strewn atop of your own, holding you down by your wrists, settled on the sides of your head in an almost painful grip. The aggression he shows makes you still for just a moment, breaths quickened as you stare back at him, seeing the primal lust within his irises.
He voices, tone harsher than it had ever been used on you. You can’t help but flutter at this new aggression he shows, hips lifting up instinctively as your held in place, his now naked dick pressed against your thigh teasingly.
‘looks who's desperate now…’
He quips, reiterating your earlier teases and watching you squirm because of it. The sight has his cock pulsating, hardening more than he had thought possible. He needed to fuck you, and fast.
So, he works on instinct, moving at an unbridled pace to get your clothes off, so far as ripping at the underwear you wore, just to get to where he needed most.
The moment he moves in, he knows you’ll squeal. His hand moves immediately to your mouth, allowing you to bite down on the roughened skin of his palm as he holds it across, pressing your further into the mattress with it. The violent and desperate feel of his hand pressing into your jaw bone at both sides has you biting deeper into his skin, moaning around the muscle and leading him to buck further inside of you.
At the sight of the silver piece around your virginial neck, acting as a constant reminder of who you were, he groans, taking the piece between his own fingers this time and leaning down, fucking you faster as he does so.
The tangle of the chain in-between his fingers leads it to strain around your neck, silver digging into the unblemished skin, choking your moans and blabbers from the effects of his cock. But Rick dosent stop. Instead, he holds the jewellery tighter, watching you choke quietly from the restraint, getting off on the sight faster than he ever had to only the thought of you with his fist.
‘You like that, don’t ya’?… ain’t so innocent after all.’
He quirks, letting go off the restraint the chain holds around your neck, just enough for you to respond. But all you can do is nod submissively, biting down on your perfectly pursed lips enough to draw blood as he moves with a set pace in and out of you, rough in his movements.
The feeling he gives you is beyond explicable, something you knew that the two of you wouldn’t be forgetting anytime sooner. The way he's talking to you, all wound up and domineering has you nearing your edge faster than you had hoped, clinging onto whatever skin you could grasp of his, pulling him impossibly closer.
The words roll right off your tongue desperately, almost in a babble as he follows your request, moving rapidly into you now, bordering on painful. And with that, his hips stutter, spilling into your heat with a muffled groan against the slick skin of your neck, leading you to follow at the sensation of his seed settling inside of you.
The cross he had once gripped so tightly falls back against your neck, the chain having left its mark against the skin, cut against your skin and bruising at the bone. But, the forbidden fruit had already been bruised to begin with, had it not?
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