Trouble in Paradise

Bored Aries, trying to find a new passion in life

[roxsie]

08.2023 - Berlin

[roxsie]

So I finally got myself to try something new and I ended up trying out 3 new creative hobbies in one day.

Now I have to urge to make one of them a business even though I was shit at all the new things I tried. Somehow I always feel the need to monetize my hobbies and be immediately perfect at the new things I try, otherwise it’s not fun…

[roxsie]

Does anyone recognize the feeling of being supposed to have recovered from your eating disorder, but then you gain weight? None of your clothes fit anymore, and you know you shouldn't let it bother you, but it does. Suddenly, it feels like you're only halfway through your recovery, rather than fully recovered. It's like being stuck in this strange limbo, where there doesn't seem to be a clear path forward.

Right now, I'm in this place. I feel like I shouldn't care that my body looks different, but I do. And now I realize I had thought I wouldn't gain this weight back and still harbor a lot of negative thoughts about gaining weight. It feels like a failure that I've gained this weight. But the moment I entertain this thought, it's as if I'm failing in my recovery.

Lately, I've been eating more, and not all of the food has been healthy or made me feel good in my body. It's what I needed at the time, but now I'd prefer to make slightly healthier choices. However, I also wish to lose a bit of weight in the process, so I can return to the body I felt more comfortable in. Unfortunately, there's no online recovery community where you can discuss this without it turning toxic.

For now, I'm trying to forgive myself, which I find very challenging. I'm also working on feeling comfortable in the body I have now, with clothes that fit well. It serves as a reminder that recovery is a lengthy journey.

[roxsie]

Cycle of life Me bored, planning amazing activities like going to festivals, parties, concerts, all in one month. Me next month, autistic burned out in the depths of hell. After all this, rinse & repeat.

[feelingsoftheday]

i disappear sometimes. it’s my thing.

[roxsie]

Usually when you're bad at writing, you're good at speaking.

What if I'm not good at both, is there a third option?

[firstfullmoon]

when u listen to an entire album from start to finish it becomes part of your bone structure btw

[roxsie]

Honest question, did anyone with autism actually feel the butterflies when having a crush?

[roxsie]

Every time she hits the baby, my senses hit different stratospheres✨

[roxsie]

“There was something very special, but it wasn't inside Josie. It was inside those who loved her.”

“Hope,’ he said. ‘Damn thing never leaves you alone.”

“Perhaps all humans are lonely. At least potentially.”

“Sometimes,’ she said, ‘at special moments like that, people feel a pain alongside their happiness.”

“It must be great. Not to miss things. Not to long to get back to something. Not to be looking back all the time. Everything must be so much more…”

“In the morning when the Sun returns. It’s possible for us to hope.”

- Klara and the Sun

[roxsie]

25.03.2023

[roxsie]

The autistic urge to not say goodbye when you leave work, to avoid some awkward socialization.

Only to be called out by your boss..

Fun fact this happened to me today and it's my birthday. Happy anxious birthday to me

[flaminghot-cheetopuff]

✨🖤aries aesthetic🖤✨

[roxsie]

People lock up your windows and doors, it’s aries season..

Time to unleash the chaotic energy, watch me thrive at being a menace to society 🔥

[cpahlow]

Had to share this @WeHeartIt

[roxsie]

Me on my autistic burnout shit...

[roxsie]

18-03-2023

I haven't forgotten my first blog post, eventhough it seems like it. I have been stressed out with life and work. Also, to be completely honest, I have been thinking of how to start. Which resulted in me not starting.

In my head it seemed logical to start with uploading the list and then work it through and journal about how it was. However the list is not finished yet, but I do have some hobbies I already want to try. So it probably I will upload the list and will journal about my try out of the hobbies, but it will not be in chronological order.

Anyway after all the work and stress of the week, today will be my chill day. Putting this playlist on repeat and vibe the day away. Tomorrow will be my first time trying to make candles. Let's hope I don't burn the house down...

[judilyart]

Dreaming within an overgrown garden 🍃

[roxsie]

This is the vibe for today ✨

[1anonyymous1]

i wanna respect everybodys opinion but some peoples opinions are just so terrible

[roxsie]

And that’s on voting day