who do you question? god? or the bible?

someday i'm gonna teach chemistry to a bunch of high school idiots and i'm gonna love them all so fucking much and i'm gonna be so fucking happy that i'm still alive

[skajador]

Message to all Americans: you BETTER NOT have brought BURGER in your SUITCASE

[kactusnz]

#shout out to the time I was bleeding a lot in (Australian) customs#and a customs guy stared at my wound and I could just see the gears in his brain automatically going 'blood = biohazardous material'#but like what were they supposed to do#so he just stared at me until another customs agent was like 'that's their own blood they are allowed to have that'

DERIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN get back here and explain yourself

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

What's there to explain. It was my blood. I was allowed to have it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#I was asked repeatedly if I had sausages because I was German#nobody asked about my blood :/

They have to get super specific because you would not believe the amount of people who think that their contraband doesn't count somehow. Oh, I don't have any fish, just this tinned tuna! It doesn't count if it's in a tin! These apricots are dried so they're not a fruit! It's not a dairy product, it's just cheese -- that doesn't really count because it's not liquid! No, I don't have anything made of wood. Oh, the wood carving in my bag? Nono, that's an antique. That means it's magically not wood somehow.

The customs people asking you repeatedly about sausages probably had friends with a story about some German guy who tried to bring in 30kg of cured sausage or something, insisting that the meat is cured so it doesn't count and he doesn't need to declare it.

When I went to Germany their biosecurity was nothing, and multiple people there couldn't comprehend that I wouldn't be allowed to take German sausage home with me. Several different people asked and assumed I was exaggerating when I explained that I couldn't do that without importing it through the proper channels or filling out a fuckton of paperwork. I think Europe as a whole has shitty biosecurity because their geography makes it difficult to enforce; when you have the natural advantage of being a single country completely surrounded by water with a very unique ecosystem, it's both a lot easier and a lot more important to guard your borders against new pathogens, parasites and invasive species.

[severina-blue]

Sign trying to tell me in five languages (Japanese, Chinese, English, French, and Korean) that the way I was heading wasn't the store exit. Especially the English and probably the Chinese texts feel pretty ominous. The French and the Korean are more a cry for help.

@ominous-signs

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[yume-fanfare]

i think it's really fun when a rly specific trope is super popular in one particular medium but in other ones it's just totally unheard of. it's the time knife. visual novel players are suuuuper used to death games but many others encountered them for the first time in squid games. the other day my mom showed me all excited the summary of a super original novel she found and it was about a girl who got reincarnated as the main character in her favorite fantasy book

[barbieboyy2k]

[spookberry]

My personal headcanon for Ash Ketchum has always been that regardless of if his dream ever came true he'd never truly stop traveling and learning. Because despite "becoming a pokemon master" being his goal if you actually sit down and watch like Any episode of Pokemon the thing that always holds true is his curiosity and desire to learn everything he possibly can related to pokemon. And he'll try anything to! He did contests and the battle frontier. He'd do those silly little shows with Serena if they'd let him.

So I like to imagine him continuing on in life as this nomad who people don't automatically recognize as anyone important ya know? Just this goofy guy going from place to place always lending a helping hand and hes got a cute lil pikachu on him. And hes often lost somewhere with a friend just exploring the woods to see if he'll find anything cool. Ya know, as hes always been, but older now. And its only once hes drifted once more do you maybe stumble into an article on the pokeweb about him and are like... that guy??

[curvedroygbiv]

there’s a dedicated ashandpikachuspotter account somewhere on some social media. You tag a photo or search for a term and boom, there’s pics of this guy. this dude. this man. with his pikachu. and it’s thousands of strangers from across the globe coming on line to talk about some stranger that they met briefly and then never saw again. they’ve compiled their stories and their approximate locations and mapped his journey from continent to continent, a long snaking pathway that spans decades and thousands of miles. He’s apparently one of those Kanto kids that the government let just drop out of school. Its working out very well for him. 

[spookberry]

Thats so funny, to imagine him as a pokeweb criptid type character a la the florida man

[spookberry]

the one thing about him is he's also not gonna think he's famous or ever mention it himself

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[soapydoll]

Did I ever talk abt the time i was at a bdsm club and one of the pups was on all fours and barking and being cute and the dom on scene was like “hi puppy! Do you do any tricks?” And he said “I can beatbox!”

[soapydoll]

I was like. Doubled over incapacitated laughing the entire time. He was really good and a big sweetheart and I felt kinda bad but I couldn’t stop thinking “why the am I getting the beatboxing puppy unskippable cutscene at the bdsm club”

[dharmagun]

Higgledy-piggledy unparliamentary green parrots quarrel outside in the trees

Squawking out epithets uncomplimentary Squads of unmannerly Oversized peas.

[fairycosmos]

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

[beansfrombeans]

[technofinch]

I have GOT to stop spending $30

[dogpuppy]

[ottoillustrates]

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

[feminist-space]

[thestroyer]

[dee-the-red-witch]

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PAINT JOB I NEED ON MY CAR.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

driving my newly painted car down to my job at the children’s hospital

[viralfrog]

[thedemonlady]

Total Solar Eclipse 2026

Palma de Mallorca, Spain / NASA

[yokowan]

discord, an application with no regard for your storage with a cache size that regularly balloons into many gigabytes, still has not figured out how to store thumbnails for your saved gifs, forcing you to sit there and wait for each one to slowly load over the network like it's 1990. bravissimo. no other app like it.

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[bethanydelleman]

It is necessary for my postpartum depression study for the moms to have their hair down (due to our science hats) and the second they put their hair down YANK