Would you link some sansan wedding symbolism meta? I can't find it anywhere, but I know it exists.... :D
Actually I thought this would be easy to find, but anon you were right. There’s not much devoted specifically to the topic of wedding/marriage symbolism, which kinda shocked me. So often it’s mixed in with related topics of general sansan, love, sexuality, agency, protection, children, but it’s not the main focus. Which is why it took me so long to put this together, sorry! So this will somewhat be a collection of wedding and marriage specific metas, but there’s mostly smaller blog post observations, commentary, and quotes. Okay, so we’re looking at two basic categories here: cloaks and wife-stealing, which is both a Free Folk marriage proposal and wedding if she accepts. There’s also the marriage bed / wedding night, which is closely related so I included it.
Marriage Symbolism (parallels with Alys x Sigorn) by @sillier-things
Sansa’s Dream Wedding / Alys’s Wedding to Sigorn by @omgellendean
On Sansa Choosing to Cloak Herself by @maidenoftheforestlight
Sandor’s Cloak by @eyesofmist
On Sansa Keeping Sandor’s Cloak in her Cedar Chest (Hope Chest) by @sillier-things and commentary by @kateofthecanals
On Sandor’s Cloak versus the Lannister Wedding Cloak by @corseque
Sandor’s Cloak in Her Cedar Chest versus Littlefinger’s Cloak and the Cedar Chest He Gives Her by Milady of York and @brashcandy (Pawn to Player Project)
Ygritte, Tormund, and Jon explaining Wife Stealing: here, here, here, here, here, and here. A suitor must prove himself quick, clever, and strong to his bride. This is not a rape or kidnapping to the Free Folk and the woman is not supposed to be harmed. It’s a demonstration of his prowess as a warrior, provider, and what kind of sons he will give her. Jon held a knife to Ygritte’s throat (as did Sandor to Sansa), but to Ygritte this was Jon’s proposal, unbeknownst to him. In the end, we can see Munda approved of Ryk and took him to husband. Note that Munda bit off part of Longspear Ryk’s ear and Sandor is missing part of an ear. She’s also referred to as Tormund’s “autumn apple” and Sansa also has strong parallels to the goddess Idunn and her apples of youth. Apples ripen in autumn. Ripening fruit is symbolic of female sexual maturation. The final decision was Munda’s to make and she made hers based on Ryk being a “stallion.” He isn’t called Longspear for carrying the literal weapon after all.
So we can see why then Sandor, who was drunk and afraid at the Blackwater (a symbolic wife stealing), was at the time rightly refused by Sansa. His casting off the cloak acknowledges his unworthiness, but her keeping it says she has not rejected him, but his worst trait. Actually, the first time he held a blade to her neck, he was posturing and boasting – all talk, no action, so it doesn’t count as a proper wife stealing. Third time’s a charm, perhaps?
We look up at the same stars, and see such different things. The King’s Crown was the Cradle, to hear her tell it; the Stallion was the Horned Lord; the red wanderer that septons preached was sacred to their Smith up here was called the Thief. And when the Thief was in the Moonmaid, that was a propitious time for a man to steal a woman, Ygritte insisted. “Like the night you stole me. The Thief was bright that night.” – Jon III, ASOS
the Stallion (Stranger) is the Horned Lord (the Consort of the Goddess figure); “red wanderer” is an analog to Mars, God of War (warrior), but he’s also the Smith (laborer, gravedigger) and the Thief (wife-stealer). The most auspicious time to steal a wife is when the Thief is in the Moonmaid (Sansa, associated with pearls, moonstones here and here. Currently residing at the Gates of the Moon).
“Off to Gulltown” song that references stealing kiss from a fair maid at knifepoint, then making her his love and taking her to rest in the shade. Alayne Stone’s backstory is that she is from Gulltown.
Wedding Night / Marriage Bed
All the times Sandor or his stand-in is connected to wedding nights or marriage beds:
This one is a little looser connected, but she associates “her Florian” coming to save her on Joffrey’s wedding night. The drunken fool knight, Ser Dontos, is the pathetic, funhouse mirror version of Sandor, complete with smoochies, heart eyes, and drunk crying.
Lysa and Petyr’s very loud wedding night triggers the dogs to bark and Sansa to think about her own wedding night to Tyrion, then segues into thinking about Sandor and wondering what happened to him.
That same night, Bryen’s old blind dog joins Sansa in her bed. After Marillion tries to rape her, it’s Lothor Brune, who she mistakes for Sandor, that saves her. That night, she has her first erotic dream about her wedding night.
Myranda Royce asks Sansa if she knows what happens in the marriage bed. She thinks of Tyrion, then Sandor, and nods. While Sansa is only thinking of kissing, Myranda bluntly calls it “fucking.” She complains of her late husband dying in their marriage bed leaving her “scarce used” and childless. It’s not unlike the frustration feels when she says Sandor “took a song and a kiss, and left me nothing but a bloody cloak,” especially if we think of the bloody cloak as synonymous bloody sheet of a wedding night.
Other Reading That May Be of Interest
Quotes of Sandor and Sansa choosing to wear each other’s colors, as if they belonged to the same house or made one of their own: here and the next day here, here and then later here, and when she cannot wear Stark or Tully colors, she chooses autumn gold with a brown wool gown, the color of House Clegane. Wool is also a plain, practical material she associates with Sandor.
What did Sandor Really Win at the Hand’s Tourney by @eyesofmist
Hieros Gamos by @sillier-things
Bears and Maidens: The Song by @sweetsunrayssr Of particular relevance is the subsection on The Bear Wedding. Breaking down “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” stanzas as explaining a proper wife stealing and the importance of the woman protesting/fighting the bear.
Sansa’s Gut Reaction to the Idea of Marrying Loras is Revealing by @bluelemonsforever
On Possible Origin of Names: Freya, her husband Odin / Óðr, and Sansan by @bluelemonsforever
