[ruinedmyself]

#RUINEDMYSELF an independent and private interpretation of 𝖘𝖆𝖒 𝖜𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗, as resurrected by kas (27, he/him).

prompts. character study. aesthetics. canon. pinned/psd.

𝖆 𝖘𝖙𝖚𝖉𝖞 𝖎𝖓 . . . maternal-loss, bad home life, secrets kept, temper just like his father’s, teenage runaway, losing your first love, finding a constant in grieving, being pulled back into the fray, thoughts of self harm/self-destruction, deteriorating mental health, savior complex, drug/alcohol addiction, untapped rage, destined for destruction, co-dependency and loss of autonomy.

[ruinedmyself]

"SO, what are we doing for your birthday? Because we're doing something."

❝ I uh.. didn’t exactly have anything planned. ❞ Other than hoping for some quiet time alone with a good book and little to no opportunity for anyone (monsters and brothers included) to interrupt. ❝ —but I’m gettin’ the sense that isn’t the answer y’wanted to hear. ❞

[ruinedmyself]

it’s sam’s birthday which means i’m feeling the gravitational pull back to this blog… will be here tonight.

[tameimpala67]

[kirbyprompts]

𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐏𝐓 𝟏

content warnings: alcohol, drinking, killing, death, murder. feel free to change prompts as necessary!

❝i feel like it’s my responsibility to stop them.❞

❝i ask people if i can trust them, they say yes, and then they trick me! or they use me to do bad things.❞

❝this seems like a very large task for one person.❞

❝i almost died today, motherfuckers. i almost died.❞

❝well, only one place to go and that’s down.❞

❝stay put. don’t move.❞

❝hi! want some booze?❞

❝you seem to have such an affinity for cute things.❞

❝anyone else feel like going for a swim?❞

❝as long as you don’t mind dying, sure.❞

❝we are the worst people.❞

❝i respect you and your intentions, but your caution does not get to control other people’s destinies.❞

❝there’s only so many burdens we can bear before we’re just asking for failure.❞

❝you did check for traps, right?❞

❝no! i’m opening it. fuck off grandpa!❞

❝maybe you’re cursed.❞

❝how did you survive?❞

❝we solved the mystery.❞

❝light the damn sticks of dynamite, just do it!❞

❝i don’t know what i’m doing. just go with it.❞

❝should i burn it?❞

❝you faded away there for a second. are you good?❞

❝let's focus on the good things in our lives.❞

❝is there anything of use or value here at all?❞

❝things are looking up.❞

❝earlier you said i could talk to you whenever i want. and i thank you for that.❞

❝that’s a good name. names are important.❞

❝i’ll take out everyone!❞

❝wake up, there’s an ambush!❞

❝are you bullshitting me?❞

❝we’re doing what we need to survive.❞

❝if you’re going to do bad things, at least work for someone who’s rich and doing bad things! don’t just steal from people on the road, that’s stupid!❞

❝only steal from grumpy people!❞

❝i was trying to be jovial, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have tried that.❞

❝there’s nothing better than waking up in the morning with no pants and flowers in your hair.❞

❝i’ve never been here, but i’ve heard stories.❞

❝where do the best parties happen?❞

❝laughter and music? i don’t trust laughter and music.❞

❝have you ever been dancing before?❞

❝is this your first time here?❞

❝sorry to interrupt your incessant flirting. can i please have a damn drink?❞

❝if you drink enough you won’t remember either way.❞

❝was it someone special?❞

❝i’ve never thought of you as an optimistic person, but that’s a very positive way of looking at things.❞

❝you are not going to pass out on the street.❞

❝what’s the thing you’re most proud of?❞

❝am i allowed to rob him?❞

❝you look like you’ve got an honest face.❞

❝it’s fine. you’re not in any danger.❞

❝hi, i’m here to take care of your spinny death problem.❞

❝i don’t think they’re going to let me in.❞

❝i’m quite sure. did i stutter?❞

❝can’t we just please go kill your damn death robot?❞

❝i can speak when i have to.❞

❝is that your blood or is that mine?❞

❝the only thing that’s magical here is you.❞

❝sometimes the people who help you are the least expected.❞

❝my entire life has been plans being made for me.❞

❝i don’t think you and i have the same plan, but they might overlap. i will be willing to help you.❞

❝let’s make a pact that if either one of us does something stupid, we’re each other’s failsafes.❞

❝i don’t think i want to hurt anymore people and i don’t think you want to either.❞

❝i think i can help you. i think you can help me. i think we can do some good here.❞

❝if i left, i would find my way back to you.❞

❝i do better with you around.❞

❝for all the visions, the darkness out there, it’s good to know that somehow we’re all putting a little bit of light out there too.❞

❝i have a question. does anyone have booze?❞

❝i’m trying this thing where i’m trying to be more polite.❞

❝i am the greatest detective of all time! i took one drink and solved the case!❞

❝you’re going to be a fucking piece of work.❞

❝i’m more than happy to kill something at this point. i have some aggression to work out.❞

❝do we want to stay in the haunted house?❞

❝that’s the most fucked up shit i’ve ever seen.❞

❝truly nothing escapes your astute observation.❞

❝i thought we were getting to know each other.❞

❝did you have a happy home life growing up?❞

❝i’ll help you try to get revenge on your vague past.❞

❝how about you tell me one fact about you and i tell you one about me?❞

❝what’s the best lie you’ve ever told?❞

❝you are a good friend to have and a terrible enemy to make.❞

❝i didn’t know! i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t know.❞

❝i’m not walking away from this.❞

❝it’s funny how the good people can make us assholes feel so small.❞

❝i think you’re supposed to say some stuff about how good they were and how many people loved them, and what a wonderful life they had, but i don’t think any of that is true.❞

❝i thought you were talking to yourself again.❞

❝are you willing to kill?❞

❝i have lost people before. i have found ways to find them in nature.❞

❝this is my first time trying to be more than i am.❞

❝you and i, we’re going to survive this.❞

❝i don’t have any family; you’re the closest thing i have.❞

❝you may be kind of weird but you’re also nice.❞

❝i am nauseous. let’s go kill a bunch of people.❞

❝i would like to hug you.❞

❝usually when people come here, it is because of some great tragedy. how can i alleviate your pain?❞

❝i’m gonna take a guess: you don’t leave here very much do you?❞

❝violence is extremely natural.❞

❝i’m canonically a coward!❞

❝oh this is going wonderful.❞

❝you don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.❞

❝brave. dead. it’s semantics, really.❞

❝they. are. going. to. die.❞

❝it’s not your fault.❞

❝this won’t happen again.❞

❝i would have laid down my life for you.❞

❝i’m sorry i wasn’t faster.❞

❝it looks better on you.❞

❝you can cook?❞

❝leave me alone. i’m reading.❞

❝i would feel a little safer if i knew a little bit more about you.❞

❝i’ll find you when i’m ready.❞

❝most people in my life leave.❞

❝there is always a cost.❞

❝i made the earth remember him.❞

❝congratulations on being alive.❞

❝you cannot blame yourself when you are taken advantage of.❞

❝i have people i want to find and things i want to remedy.❞

❝i feel like you should embrace the morbidity of life.❞

❝afraid? i’m not afraid of anything!❞

❝did you see what i did?❞

❝why didn’t you come?❞

❝you promise you won’t leave?❞

❝i don’t think i’ve ever come across magic like that.❞

❝things that are unknown are notably able to draw dangerous and inquiring eyes and minds.❞

❝just so you know, i think i can punch ghosts now.❞

❝i just know if i saw a ghost, i would want to punch it. ghosts are scary.❞

❝it’s easier to steal things when you can pay for them with money.❞

❝this is not where i am supposed to be.❞

❝i have no specific destination in mind.❞

❝i’ll go where you go.❞

❝what do you want to know?❞

❝well i can’t go home.❞

❝we stick together.❞

❝we have things we need to do and we don’t have forever to do them.❞

❝you know what i’ve done.❞

❝sometimes you have to take a big risk if it’s that important.❞

❝you can’t just sneak up on a person!❞

❝sorry, just figured you’d want some company.❞

❝i've always loved the water.❞

❝feels good to be back, yeah?❞

[metalprompts]

*      ―    ﴾  𝚗𝚜𝚏𝚠  𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚜  ﴿   :    𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒  𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘  𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

personally ,   i’m  tired  of  the  secondhand  embarrassment.   so  here’s  a  random  assortment  of  nsfw  actions  and  dialogue  prompts  that  don’t  feel  too  over  the  top.   (  don’t  forget  to  add  [ reverse ]  if  you’d  like  to  see  the  receiver  perform  the  action.  )

actions.

[ PULL ]:  sender  pulls  receivers  hair.

[ HICKEY ]:  sender  gives  receiver  a  hickey.

[ TRAIL ]:  sender  leaves  a  trail  of  kisses  down  receivers  stomach.

[ HIPS ]:  sender  pulls  receiver  in  closer  by  the  hips.

[ KNEES ]:  sender  lowers  themselves  to  their  knees.

[ STRIPTEASE ]:  sender  teasingly  strips  their  clothes.

[ STRIP ]:  sender  undresses  receiver.

[ GRIND ]:  sender  grinds  on  receivers  thigh.

[ ORAL ]:  sender  goes  down  on  receiver.

[ PASSENGER ]:  sender  touches  receiver  while  sender  is  driving.

[ DRIVER ]:  sender  goes  down  on  /  touches  receiver  while  receiver  is  driving.

[ OVERSTIMULATED ]:  sender  repeatedly  making  receiver  orgasm.

[ PUBLIC ]:  sender  and  receiver  have  sex  somewhere  public.

[ CAR ]:  sender  and  receiver  have  sex  in  a  car.

[ CONTROL ]:  sender  is  riding  receiver  and  receiver  takes  control  by  guiding  their  hips.

[ SHY ]:  sender  covers  their  face  and  receiver  moves  their  hands  away.

[ EYES ]:  sender  makes  receiver  look  them  in  the  eyes.

[ BEG ]:  sender  begs  receiver  to  touch  /  fuck  them.

[ MORNING ]:  sender  wakes  receiver  up  with  sex.

[ STRADDLE ]:  sender  sits  in  receivers  lap  to  tease  them.

[ CAMERA ]:  sender  records  receiver.

[ RECORD ]:  sender  is  recorded  by  receiver.

[ MOUTH ]:  sender  puts  their  fingers  into  receivers  mouth.

[ LOVE ]:  sender  tells  receiver  they  love  them  during.

[ PUSH ]:  sender  pushes  receiver  onto  bed.

dialogue.

“ you  look  so  pretty  like  this.  “

“ i  want  to  spend  all  night  learning  every  sound  you  make. “

“ let  me  take  care  of  you. “

“ i’m  not  wearing  any  underwear  right  now. “

“ you’re  really  good  at  that. “

“ god,  you’re  so  wet  /  hard  …. “

“ i  think  about  you  when  i  touch  myself. “

“ tell  me  what  you  want. “

“ please  touch  /  fuck  me. “

“ i  love  teasing  you. “

“ touch  yourself  for  me. “

“ i  get  so  wet  /  hard  around  you. “

“ get  on  your  knees. “

“ you’re  such  a  tease. “

“ tell  me  you’re  mine. “

“ i’m  yours. “

“ i  want  you  to  cum  for  me. “

“ i  want  you  to  cum  in  me. “

“ i’ll  be  good,  i  promise. “

“ you’re  doing  so  good  for  me. “

“ you  feel  so  good. “

“ you  sound  so  pretty  when  you  moan. “

“ i  could  be  your  toy. “

“ fuck  me  like  you  love  me. “

“ i’m  gonna  cum- “

“ i  just  want  to  feel  something. “

“ i  wanna  be  on  top  this  time. “

[busyw0man]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ💋ɞ˚‧｡⋆  𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝  𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫  𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 (pt. 2)

[  TXT  ]  :  i’m  outside.  don’t  look  out  the  window.

[  TXT  ]  :  hypothetical.  if  i  stole  a  horse.  would  you  help.

[  TXT  ]  :  emergency.  answer  immediately.  do  you  trust  me?

[  TXT  ]  :  say  you’re  home  alone  right  now.

[  TXT  ]  :  don’t  panic.  but  where  did  you  put  the  spare  key.

[  TXT  ]  :  are  you  awake?  this  cannot  wait  until  morning.

[  TXT  ]  :  quick  question.  how  attached  are  you  to  your  car?

[  TXT  ]  :  okay  listen.  this  is  going  to  sound  bad.  but  hear  me  out.

[  TXT  ]  :  don’t  ask  why.  just  wear  black.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  need  you  to  lie  for  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  be  honest.  are  you  flirting  with  me  or  am  i  delusional?

[  TXT  ]  :  i  can’t  sleep.  tell  me  something  interesting.

[  TXT  ]  :  stop  looking  at  me  like  that.

[  TXT  ]  :  remind  me  why  we’re  pretending  this  is  nothing.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  almost  texted  you.  deleted  it.  this  is  attempt  two.

[  TXT  ]  :  are  you  trying  to  ruin  my  life  or  just  my  self  control?

[  TXT  ]  :  tell  me  you’re  thinking  about  me.  i  need  proof.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  miss  you.  i  hate  that  i  do.

[  TXT  ]  :  don’t  come  over.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  shouldn’t  ask  this.  but  are  you  alone?

[  TXT  ]  :  every  song  sounds  like  you.  explain  yourself.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  keep  rereading  old  messages.  don’t  judge  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  say  something  that  will  make  me  stay.

[  TXT  ]  :  if  i  show  up.  will  you  let  me  in?

[  TXT  ]  :  i  don’t  know  how  to  want  you  quietly.

[  TXT  ]  :  do  you  ever  think  about  what  we  almost  were?

[  TXT  ]  :  this  is  me  being  brave.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  miss  the  way  you  used  to  look  at  me.

[  TXT  ]  :  tell  me  to  stop.

[  TXT  ]  :  i  hate  that  you  still  feel  like  home.

[melamemea]

canon questionare.

questions best asked for those who portray canon characters, and for those who’d like to get to know the author behind said canons better.

What made you pick up this character?

How did you get into this franchise/fandom?

What’s the best thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

What’s the worst thing about the show/series/books/comics/etc.?

What’s the best thing about the fandom?

What’s the worst thing about the fandom?

What’s the best thing about the canon you are writing?

What’s the worst thing about the canon you are writing?

Have you tweaked the character from canon? If so, what did you tweak?

Would you say that your portrayal is canon divergent or not? 

Are there some things you dislike about how the show/series/etc. portray the character you have picked up? If so, what?

What would you say is the most unique trait about your character?

Are there any other characters from the franchise you’d like to play?

Are there some characters from the franchise you can’t stand? 

What are your thoughts on the canon ships for the character, if any?

What is your personal ship bias for your canon character?

Are there any ships you can’t stand, why?

How long have you been writing the character?

Should people get into the franchise your writing from, yes or no?

If you could sum up your character with one sentence, what would it be?

Which song do you feel describes your character the most and why?

[ruinedmyself]

consider this a permanent starter / plotting / inbox call !

[ruinedmyself]

🏆 : a blog that deserves more recognition

😭 : someone whose writing always hits you emotionally

a positivity meme !!

a blog that deserves more recognition: @heavenguided !! a million percent. not only is Emily possibly the sweetest being on earth but Azrael is by far one of my favorite original characters. There’s never been a moment in my mind that I questioned a writer was behind her character because she feels so tangible already? her personality and the relationships she has with her family and others she cares about. the balance between harsh and necessary wrath brought on by a powerful archangel vs the way she is so sweet and understanding with every soul she encounters. I just Love her so much, and getting to see what she’s up to. Out of character I’ve never felt anything short of encouragement and support from emily.

someone whose writing always hits you emotionally:

oh dude.. so many. i am a giant puddle of emotions in general, couple that with having the privilege of reading the works of loads of talented writers? if I could include every single person I follow I would, but to make it quick I’ll give a short list of people who I feel continue to impact me emotionally any time I read / thread with them.

@heavenguided (yet again. fantastic at summoning visceral feelings for almost anything of az’s, but especially she and sam!) / @kindofuneven (so much of the writing and thought behind scott’s actions and reflections of his own emotions hammer home for me and b never fails to surprise me with that depth.) / @benbraeden (honestly it doesn’t matter who lilly is writing, I just know I am going to be hurting by the end of it. word choice especially impresses me, each one set up sentence by sentence to form a sort of rhythm that draws you in when you’re reading, only to be lead somewhere emotionally devastating but still so so beautiful.)

[gloomglimmer]

ʚ   A POSITIVITY MEME  :  The past week has been rough on the RPC, and sometimes we all need a little reminder of the good that keeps us here. Whether it’s friends, writing partners, or just a safe place to create, let’s celebrate the positives!

How to play: Reblog this ask meme and a mutual will send you a prompt. Use it to spread positivity by tagging others!

😊 : a blog that always makes you smile 💖 : a blog with the best edits 🌸 : your favorite original character 🤫 : someone you secretly admire 📝 : a mutual whose headcanons you always look out for 🏆 : a blog that deserves more recognition 🔥 : a blog that inspires your creativity 😭 : someone whose writing always hits you emotionally 🌙 : a mutual whose aesthetic you adore ✨ : a blog whose energy makes the RPC brighter 🍂 : someone who consistently spreads kindness 🌼 : a blog whose posts make you pause and think 🌺 : a mutual whose edits or graphics make your day 💫 : a blog you trust to always give good advice or feedback ⭐ : someone whose threads you always save or follow 💌 : a mutual you want to cheer on today 🌈 : a blog that always brings fun vibes 🎨 : someone whose creativity you admire 🎉 : a mutual who deserves a virtual high five 📖 : a blog whose lore or plotting you love 🕊️ : someone who brings peace to the community 🍀 : a mutual you feel lucky to know 💎 : a blog whose content you treasure 🌟 : someone who always motivates you to write more 🎁 : a mutual who’s a gift to the RPC 🛡️ : someone who makes you feel safe 🤝 : someone who was kind to you and how 💌 : a mutual who checked in when you needed it 🌸 : someone whose messages or tags made your day better 💭 : a blog that sparks your favorite memories 🎈 : a mutual who always celebrates your wins

[ruinedmyself]

your muse walks in on sam stooped over a demon, slurping up its blood like some kind of fucked up red velvet milkshake… what are they doing?

[grave-robbedd]

Inferno :: abandon all hope, ye who enter here

[noahsresources]

POSITIVITY TIME ! drop a ✦ in my inbox and i'll tell you at least one thing i like about your writing, portrayal, headcanons, world building, blog aesthetics, whatever it is i like about your blog, writing, & portrayal!! if you can't see the symbol, send 'star'!

[ruinedmyself]

consider this a permanent starter / plotting / inbox call !

[parismemes]

WHY AREN’T WE INTERACTING?

recently i’ve noticed that the rpc seems to have trouble interacting with eachother–and i’ve seen a few of these memes go around, but i thought i’d make another!

❓ — i’m unfamiliar with your muse(s). 😟 — you intimidate me a lot. 📂 — you don’t reblog a lot of memes, and i usually interact through memes. 💡 — you don’t post a lot of opens, and i usually interact through opens. ⌚ — i honestly haven’t gotten around to it yet. 💔 — i ship our muses, and i’m worried that’ll upset you. 📜 — i’m a little intimidated by your writing length/style/formatting. 💤 — you followed me first and i’m waiting for you to make the first move. 🗣️ — i don’t have any ideas for plots readily available. ☀️ — i’ve sent memes/messages to you before, but you ignored them.

[ruinedmyself]

find your muse’s handwriting!

based on this post.

taken from: @handgiven & @milleroptimism

tagging: everyone who reads this!