Posheeda

[ruinknight]

They say Tumblr is dead. Maybe I am too. Maybe all I am is a Ghost.. A Ghoul.. But I am a soul.

Like all souls I yearn. A longing. An emptiness that can be filled with what, I know not.

I suppose I'd like to rest here. The dead place. With dead people. Cause whoever visits graves does so with time in hand. They're not in a hurry. No rush. No need to capture your attention in 5 seconds. You'll take time to read me, if you ever do.

I'm here to find you I suppose, and in the process hopefully find myself. I'm new to this journey.. But hey, so are you.

You are too preoccupied to know me or yourselves. Busy in your messed up heads to even begin to think to invest time and effort into what I will share.

However, this I promise you, you will read me.

You'll want to.

You'll yearn for me as I have yearned for you. You'll wait. You'll relax. You'll breathe with me. You'll remember me till your last breath.

Cause this I'm realising, as I am beginning to embark on this journey of self recognition, that no matter what the world tells me. I am worthy. I am meant to shatter your reality.

I'm meant to be here. In this moment. Telling you this.

You were meant to read that...

You are meant to read me more...

[ruinknight]

Sometimes i wish i could fall asleep. Without thinking... I'm not worried. Not anxious. Not sad. Not happy either. Not lonely. Not troubled. I'm not feeling any of those things. This is just a feeling.

I fell in love with a human. A normal practical human worried about the future. Careful of their personality. Very careful with their words. More careful with their feelings.

Masla tab shuru hua jab main use apne peer ke tarah chahane laga tha. Aur khuda ko ye manzoor nahi. Ki insaan kisi ko bhi usse zyada chahe.. Isme kuch sahi aur galat nahi dekhta main. Mohabbat thi.. Hai.. Nahi maloom. Shiddat de chaha tha lekin.

Shiddat thi mere mohabbat mein. Shayad kuch zyada hi...

Abhi tak jo hua hai ache k liye hua hai. Shukrguzaar hoon main iss cheez ka. Bohot hi.

Par masla woh bhi nahi.

Neend nahi aati. Masla ye hai.

[ruinknight]

Journal entry -

I wanted to write. Just for the sake of it. I thought I'd drool and get sad over my day but it was a good day. I overcame myself. I'm simply proud of where I've got to, all of course, thanks to God.

I wanted to. That's it. Good night folks. I wish you all peace, prosperity, abundance, health, wealth, all joy and love y'all deserve.

Until next time.

[nadin2003]

🕊 Nadin’s Hope: A Mother, A Memory, A Future

Hello, my name is Nadin. I’m from Gaza. I’m a graphic design graduate, a wife—and now, a mother.

I finished my design studies just before the war began. I had dreams of starting a small studio, of creating art that told stories. I used to think about colors and fonts and the future.

Then, the war came. And the future became something we tried to hold onto, moment by moment.

On October 22, 2023, I learned I was pregnant when a missile destroyed my husband’s family home, killing 25 members—his mother, siblings, nieces and nephews—entire branches of our family in seconds.

We were displaced twice. Everything was gone—home, safety, routine, rest.

A few weeks later, I gave birth to our daughter. There was no crib, no celebration—not even stillness. But she arrived, quietly and beautifully. In her eyes I saw something I hadn’t felt in weeks: life that still wanted to grow.

Now, our days are shaped by decisions that could dismantle the future we are trying to build together.

Today, Israel’s government is discussing plans for a full military occupation of the Gaza Strip, including Gaza City and southern regions. The stated aim: to eliminate Hamas and later hand governing control to allied Arab forces—not Israel—but with no clear path to peace or normalcy.

The humanitarian fallout is devastating. More than 61,000 Palestinians have died in this war; hunger and malnutrition are rising sharply. Hospitals in north Gaza have shut down, and 193 people have now died of starvation, nearly half of them children.

Aid remains blocked, water is scarce, and many risk dying of hunger or disease long before future promises arrive.

We Don’t Know What Comes Next There’s no clear path forward—only uncertainty for our daughter’s life and our ability to survive another day.

Nadin’s Hope: Rebuilding Life for a Mother and Child

My name is Nadin, and I’m a mother from Gaza.

How You Can Help I’m asking for support—not for comfort, but for survival:

Help us meet basic needs so we can breathe, heal, and preserve a world for our daughter.

Support us as I try to stand again on my own feet—even a glimmer of stability matters.

If you’ve read this far, thank you. If you can give—thank you. If you can’t—just sharing this post is a lifeline I will never forget.

[cristallq]

[ruinknight]

I see it clear now. I've loved a version of your that didn't exist. It has potential. And I loved that potential of what we could be..

But things didn't fit in. Never from the start.

You've taught me a few good things though.

There is no need to prove anything to anyone even for the sake of love, especially for the sake of love.

I should've known.

You were born in a palace and I was born in the tunnels, and although I live in a palace now if I ever had to get back to the tunnels I could but you, you would fall apart.

[ruinknight]

I know I love you because I still think of you even when I'm high. As if the high itself is not enough.

[ruinknight]

Thought dump. Emotion dump, rather.

Today marks the 7th year of my dad's death.

Year 0 was obviously a heavy one. That particular day. 2nd December.

Year after year after that, 2nd December always brought peace and prosperity with it. Good sales in the store, jolly environment, peace, etc etc.

Yesterday, a fever had begun to set in. Today it blew out.

I went to work in the morning. By noon I was back in bed. Body shivering, bones aching, my inside hollow, I cried. I didn't miss my dad. I just felt empty.

I had felt this empty on Year 0. When he actually died. And I figured it out on a phone call. Far far away from home. I cried terribly then. I needed a hug. I needed to be held.

I remember crying out to God today as I had done that very moment 7 years ago. I knew he was there. He's always there. But in all honesty, I still needed that hug.

He knew. He knows. He cares. I agree it's teaching me a lot. But damn I still need it.

What's come to mind now, however, as I write about this, selfishly, just to clear my thoughts, is this number. Number 7. You reckon it's considered lucky?

Luck? Really? I think it's God. All of it.

[ruhaniya]

when i‘m trying to go to sleep but then i remember and remember and remember and remember

[ruinknight]

One of those days where I miss her. Terribly.

And I can't tell her. Why you ask? I can't.

The more I convey my feelings the more she goes away.

I mean what was I expecting after all this? A relationship? Someone who lays their shoulder on my head and holds my hands? I know we get those.

By we, I mean the wise fools, the strugglers, the delusional, the vibe catchers, the never perfect real humans, the mistake makers, the mystic minds..

No, I don't think we get love.

But we get all that we believe right?

So what do I believe in? Should I believe in holding on or letting go?

Cause damn I wanna hold on. Till every last breath.

Somedays I'm just tired though. Not of holding on, but of this feeling that at some point I gotta let go and it doesn't sit right by me.

I don't feel good about it.

Random rant. This is. Better here than to her. What she gonna say anyway? I told you so, that's what she'll say.

I told you not to get attached. I told you not to talk. I told you not to fall. I told you.. Yes yes she told me.

Fucking fool I am. For wanting love. For wanting to be held. I have a bigger mission than that. To serve this society that has brought me up.

But goddamn I wanted it to be with her.

And I'm tired. Of having people in my life just to let them go. Always. Person after person you gotta let go. The art of detachment it's called.

It's prophetic and I'm no prophet. I'm a sinner.

[a-path-by-the-moon]

[ruinknight]

This place is like a book except it hasn't been released yet. I write but it's not read. Yet.

[ruinknight]

She almost loved me

A few things I told her. A few things I wish she'd have told me. And the whole lotta things I told God.

[meamidstthechaos]

I told you so.

Sincerely, Your Instincts.

[ruinknight]

The future is coming and it is mine!

[sourpunk08]

On occasions when you do visit my dreams, I want the night to last longer than a lap accross the constellation guiding the night we first talked.

[ruinknight]

Apparently Tumblr asks me to let go and Instagram asks me to hold on.

Universal signs ate confusing.

You eventually only see whatcha believe in and right now I don't know what I believe in.

It's just one of those days when I'm tired.