Our lives are influenced by several different factors; the random course of nature, other humans and ourselves. Through these factors, we encounter a lot of experiences in our lives, some good and some bad. While many people hope and claim to only cherish the good memories and discard the bad, that does not seem like the case or a very good idea to me.
Happy memories are something that everyone hopes to have an abundance of. Images of smiles, laughter, joy and excitement of those close to us, and of ourselves, are invaluable. In nature, humans have a desire to obtain anything that are advantageous to them, and these memories are no doubt part of that list. However, negative memories are something that everyone seems to avoid like a plaque. People canât seem to bear the pain of remembering these unwanted experiences because it makes them feel too upset or too angry, so they try their hardest to forget these memories. But sometimes, the more they try to erase them from their minds, the stronger they cling on; when we think of something in a state of pure happiness or hatred we tend to recall them more frequently because of the extreme emotions we feel in association with them. Therefore, this is why I feel that trying to forget negative memories is pointless and one of the hardest things to do. In fact, I believe itâs something that we shouldnât be trying to do at all.
The world is the way it is for a certain reason. There is a delicate balance that needs to be maintained all the time in order for the world to âfunctionâ properly. The same goes for everything in the world, including us humans. Every aspect of us, be it physical or mental state, needs to be at balance, our experiences and memories are no exception. Humans continue to develop and learn from their experiences, especially from their mistakes, and where do mistakes come from? Failures and unexpected occurrences, in other words negative memories. Like an ostrich, people sometimes assume that if we forget our negative experiences, there is no way for the experience to return and attack us. But they can. And the worse part is, weâll encounter the exact same problem over and over again until we learn to embrace every aspect of our lives. Therefore, both the good and bad memories are equally important and needed in our lives.Â
â"In your anger do not sinâ: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" Ephesians 4:26
One thing we like to do is play the blame game. It truly is a very simple game which includes everyone because there is no way that one canât not participate. There is always someone or something to blame for everything that happens in our lives, because if weâre not blaming the world or other people, we blame ourselves. More often than not, we will feel contempt and anger towards the source of our disappointment, and we will find ourselves continuing to dwell on that negative memory, making it difficult to forgive the source. However, we should not do that. As said earlier, the only way people move on in life is through learning from past experiences. If we hold a grudge at any point in our lives, it is the same thing as trapping ourselves in that time period. We stop to grow at that point of time because we refuse to reflect what has happened to us and thus, prevents us from developing ourselves. So learn to forgive others and ourselves whenever something bad happens; itâs a part of the life cycle, we need to learn to deal with it and move on. We canât be a child forever.
âBear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord Forgave you.â Colossians 3:13
