Somewhere Between Hope and Homicide

Figuring out this whole adulthood thing one step at a time with this fantastic man. I post fandoms, pretty pictures and cute critters. Join me?

[butch-king-frankenstein]

great minds think of dykes

[probuccalfat]

Girl I was scrolling through your blog and I had to google "shane dawson" and "pewdiepie" back to back who are these people 😭

you might be the only pure soul left

[yujateaandpi]

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.

[netherworldpost]

"does it have to be queer"

yes, next question, unless the next question is "why", in which case I am pulling the lever

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Could it be more queer?

[netherworldpost]

(To my personal assistant) Increase the sea salted wolverine’s budget

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[mevil]

[super-affection]

only real 90s kids remember

[wolfythewitch]

This too shall pass but like holy fuck

[run-a-goth-chick]

Saw the backrooms movie! A couple of solid jumpscare moments and, they didn't explain shit!

So proud

[toroxstar]

my preciouses

(x)

[storyweavingspider]

Summons all the similar tisms with my alternative highly effective neural strategies

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[depsidase]

[captain-price-returns]

They then cancelled that order btw.

[matchagirl]

[homura]

[asexualmaul]

[targetedknowledge]

[alex-and-nova420]

made this into a gif bc i liked it so much. shark Denied