Runenc03

Rune • she/her • Ravenclaw • '03 • aquarius • (fanfiction) writer • Oboist • MASTERLIST

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DEAR NATIVE FRENCH SPEAKER,

Hi :)

My name is Rune, and I'm in my last year of high school, studying French. For my last project, my teacher let us do whatever we wanted, and I wrote a story. I desperately want this to be a beautiful ending of 8 years of French classes, and that's why I'm asking you for help: I'm looking for someone to read my story and 'beta' the grammatical mistakes out. The story is just under 2k words, so it shouldn't take too long. I would be very, very grateful if anyone was willing to read it.

Merci d'avance!

Rune

PS: anyone who doesn't speak (enough) French but wants to share this message is amazing too!

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Miroir

Date d’écriture: Janvier 2021

Genre: Angoisse?

D’avertissements: Peut-être une fille qui manque de confiance?

Mots: Plus ou moins 1000 mots

! Ma langue maternelle est le Néerlandais, mais j’ai toujours adoré le français et je suis en train de l’étudier à l’université dans quelques mois. Ce que je veux dire est qu’il y a sans doutes des fautes de grammaire dans ce texte. N’hésitez pas de me corriger! De plus, ça devrait me rendre très heureuse de parler avec vous!  

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Elle se regardait dans le miroir.

Le spectacle qui l’attendait était un de terreur, désespoir, obscurité.

Ses cheveux ressemblaient à un feu de forêt imprévisible et d’un gros volume, en désordre, dans toutes les directions, une image caractéristique de la sécheresse, avec des frisottis visibles tout atour son visage. Elle a déjà essayé de les sauver avec de l’eau, mais si tu essaie de sauver un buisson ardent, quelques gouttes ne suffiront pas. Sa peau était pâle, presque grise, la couleur du ciel quand la pluie envisage sa chute. Ses yeux suivaient sa tête jusqu’à son front, dans lequel des restes indélébiles de l’acné marquaient sa peau, laissant des alvéoles comme de la grêle sur les voitures pendant des tempêtes de verglas. Ses sourcils n’étaient pas si différents, touffues et malformés, comme des éclairs imprévus pendant les orages les plus sombres. Ses joues, trop potelé, comme une épaisse couche de lourds nuages plâtré sur les os. Ses yeux trouvaient la réflexion de ses lèvres, tremblant incontrôlablement, comme des vieux arbres pendant un séisme, essayant ardemment de rester droit tandis que la pression devient trop dur, où comme l’eau stagnante quand quelque chose touche la surface. Ça commence par un léger tremblement, mais rapidement, ce tremblement s’est propagé au tous les côtés de la zone. Son menton n’était pas défini, et si elle avait eu d’énergie, elle s’étirait sa nuque pour créer le contraste entre menton et gorge qu’elle voulait si désespérément. Tout ce qu’elle voyait était un os qui dépasse légèrement, comme le sommet d’un volcan à l’envers, et en-dessous, une ligne tremblante qui était supposé d’être sa gorge. Pour elle, il ressemblait à un courant de lave, l’enveloppant dans une substance fondue et méchante. Tout à coup, ses voies respiratoires sentaient rétrécis, chaud, d’une certaine façon, comme si la lave brûlante avait pénétré sa gorge. Ça n’a pas arrêté par sa gorge, non. C’est comme si des petites gouttelettes de lave piquent derrière ses rétines. Ses yeux trouvaient les yeux de la fille dans le miroir, encaissée et creux. Elle cherchait, mais il n’y avait rien, le genre de rien qui reste après des tornades, ou des ouragans. Le genre de rien on trouve dans le fond d’un lac pollué, ou au milieu d’un désert froid, ou entouré par des voitures qui claxonnent, obligé de remplir les poumons avec des gaz.

Le moment a fini aussi vite que c’était venu, ses yeux remplissant avec une couche familière de larmes, un mur, presque réconfortant, qui pourrait la protéger contre l’image atroce devant elle. C’était comme du brouillard dans un matin froid en hiver, te piégeant, et pour beaucoup de gens, ça pourrait se sentir limitant, mais pour elle, cela signifiait qu’elle ne pourrait plus regarder, et en quelque sorte, c’était ce que lui a sauvé, à maintes reprises.

Il la regardait pendant qu’elle se regardait dans le miroir.

La lumière du soleil tôt diffusée à travers la pièce, son visage se baignant dans une lumière dorée. C’est comme si le soleil l’invite de voir tout ce qu’il veut voir. Il voyait qu’elle rougissait, la rougeur se mouvant sur ses joues rapidement, comme la lumière du nord pendant la nuit la plus obscure. Son nez était couvert de taches de rousseur, un ensemble de constellations qui resteront fascinant à lui. Il laissait ses yeux suivre son visage, arrêtant à la courbe de ses lèvres. A son avis, la courbe ressemblait des jeunes feuilles d’un chêne, se balançant doucement au vent d’un matin au printemps. Il voyait que ses yeux se concentraient sur ses cheveux. Elle fronçait. De son point de vue, néanmoins, il n’y avait rien d’anormal. De plus, ses cheveux étaient une des choses physiques qu’il aimait le plus. Ils étaient un peu frisés ce matin, mais il pensait qu’il complétait sa personnalité passionnée. Ses mèches volumineuses encadraient son visage, désordonnées, comme cette fois où ils avaient dansé sous la pluie. Elle avait ri avec l’état de ses cheveux à ce moment-là. Elle a été capable de rire.

Il regardait ses sourcils, la façon dont ils courbaient au-dessus de ses yeux, comme des arcs-en-ciel apparemment courbaient au-dessus du monde, quand le soleil était assez près. Il étudiait ses cils, leur façon d’atteindre à ses sourcils, comme des pétales de fleur au ciel après une douche de pluie.

Finalement, il y avait ses yeux. Ils ont été autrefois sa caractéristique favorite à elle, avant que la douleur s’était blotti là, avant qu’ils avaient commencé à avoir l’air vide. Il savait qu’ils pouvaient être si expressifs, si radiant, et de nouveau, comme chaque autre partie de son visage, façonné avec élégance. Il se perdait là-dedans, quand ils sont ensemble et elle le permet de regarder dans ses yeux et la raconte quoi il a vu. Il l’avait raconté toutes sortes d’histoires comme ça, tandis qu’il plongeait ses yeux dans les siens en décrivant qu’il voyait. Ils étaient les miroirs de son âme, une âme qui était autrefois rempli d’aventures, d’imagination, de couleurs, et une volonté de vivre sa vie au maximum. Il souhaitait de retourner à cette époque. Mais même si elle avait des larmes dans ses yeux, et des cheveux frisés, et les cicatrices d’acne dans son front qu’elle détestait tellement, elle était belle. Elle n’a pas la sorte de beauté qu’on voit à l’intérieur, ou dans un tableau, ou même dans autres belles personnes. Non, elle possède la sorte de beauté qu’on peut seulement trouver dehors, la sorte de beauté on trouve au sommet d’un montagne, admirant des paysages pleins de rivières et d’arbres, la sorte de beauté on découvre refaisant surface après une plongée dans un lac et en laissant le soleil nous chauffer, la sorte de beauté on sent quand on promène sur la pelouse avec nos pieds nus.

Il était en ce moment-là qu’il jurait qu’un jour, il la laisserait voir. Elle se réveillerait, elle regarderait dans le miroir, et elle découvrirait toutes les belles pièces de la nature juste devant elle. Les oiseaux chanteraient la victoire, le soleil brillerait avec joie. Et elle, elle sécherait sa dernière larme, réalisant que le potentiel avait été là depuis le début.

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Til the light goes out (and after) - part 2

Writing date: January or February 2021, I can’t remember

Genre: fluff! I figured we deserved that after the insecurity of part 1

Warnings: I guess a make out session? Should I warn for that? I think I should warn you that this is my ‘steamiest content’ (for now) and that is saying very laying because I’m too shy to write steamy stuff, even if i want to try to write it.

Word count: 2.7k words:

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You didn't mean to stare, you really didn't, but your afternoon performance was about to start and you knew that when he wanted to be alone, he always went to the equipment room to play music and order his thoughts, so you came to tell him that he was needed to discuss the latest details before the performance. Standing there, just about to announce your presence, something had stopped you. You watched as he sat there, crossed legged on an old sofa, flute in his hands, his knight armor clearly making it difficult for him to raise his arms to the right angle to be able to play. It almost made you giggle, he had always hated that costume. His eyes studied the sheet in front of him, memorising the last few little notes before playing it during the performance. You loved to watch him when he was like this, so fully himself, so unguarded. 

"Hi. Is it time?" 

He looked almost sad, and you knew that while he loved playing for people, he wasn't ready to leave his secluded spot yet. You decided extending his time a little wouldn't hurt anyone. 

"No, we still have a few more minutes. What part are you playing?" 

His mouth formed a smile, and he patted the space beside him on the sofa as an invitation. You giggled as the clattering of his armor costume disturbed the silence. You seated yourself on the sofa, briefly wondering if the old thing could even carry two bodies, and then threw your legs over his crossed ones, creating a mess of intertwined limbs. Then, you kissed his cheek - you couldn't help yourself, really - and enjoyed watching the blush spread over the place you had just placed your lips on. 

"After all this time together, I still get you flustered with a kiss on your cheek, without anyone near us?" 

He now fully turned his attention to you, carefully placing his flute on its holder next to the sofa, a grin growing on his face. 

"I can't help it and you know it. Besides, you wouldn't have it any other way." 

You had to agree with that. As much as you loved how other couples go all out on public displays of affection, you weren't sure you'd like that so much. 

"Touché. Now kiss me, we need to leave in literally 3 minutes." 

You saw his grin broaden, until he was so close that his lips were out of your sight. Not that you minded. Closing your eyes, you felt his smile, and that was your favourite way to experience it anyway. His arm slid around your waist, lightly pulling you closer to him, and your legs decided on their own to untangle from his and just entirely sit on his lap instead. As he felt you snuggle close to him, he hummed in appreciation, and you smiled at the rich sound of it. You continued to share kiss after kiss, the fingers on one of your hands weaving themselves through his hair, while the other slid under his armor, lightly scratching his back. You knew he loved it, and while you still questioned as to why that was, you really didn't mind doing it. After all, he did wonderful things to you as well. 

"I love you. So so much, you know that, right?" 

You often questioned if other people smiled as much while making out as you did. It was automatic, as opposed to him being so shy in public, he had the habit to mumble all sorts of little things to you while the two of you were alone, and it made it impossible not to smile. He made you so, so happy. You questioned if other couples felt as much love as you did, too. You answered him by covering his jaw in kisses, going from right under his ear to his chin, somewhere in the back of your mind noting that it was still scratchy, and realising that he probably hadn't had the time to shave this morning because you had texted him at 5 am to ask if you could go watch the sunrise together, something he had obviously agreed to, being the incredibly kind human being he was. 

"I love you too. I love you, I love you, I love you." 

Now it was his time to smile, the effect of your words alternating with your kisses, and your heart warmed a little bit more. Oh, how you loved him. Saying it just wasn't enough. He tilted your head then, gentle as always, and you gladly went once again from kissing his jaw to kissing his lips. You shuffled even closer, deepening the kiss, shifting your hand on his back to his chest, lazily drawing circles there, feeling his warm flesh against your cold hands. He didn't flinch, he never did. He had somehow made you believe in the beauty of your touch, and, in a strange way, because of it, in the beauty of yourself. His fingers now wove themselves through your hair as well, angling your face just a bit differently once again.  His other hand went to your upper leg, drawing circles just like you were doing on his chest, so in sync with each other. His lips were warm against yours, but not in a scorching way. You felt welcome, at home. 

"Hey, uh, you know I would say sorry for interrupting, but I'm really not that sorry. You have all the time in the world after the show, lovebirds, but for now, you need to come with me." 

Your boyfriend's groan would've amused you if you, too, hadn't been so hopelessly embarrassed. Ruby - now Ava - had come to get you, and while you wouldn't have wanted anyone else to walk in on you, you knew the smugness wouldn't leave her voice anytime soon. She did leave the two of you behind then, also understanding that embarrassing you any further wouldn't do right before the show, and you smiled at her thoughtfulness. 

"Come on, she was right, we need to get up. From now on, you're the unnamed music guy again, and I am princess Rose." 

You carefully pulled yourself away from him, careful not to knock anything over, especially not his precious flute, and straightened your dress once again, making sure there weren't any creaks in it. 

"I would call you my princess, but I guess you'd find that a bit too cheesy, wouldn't you?" 

Your laughter filled the room, and you took his hand, standing on your tiptoes one last time to give his cheek a kiss. 

"You know me so well. Now come on, unnamed music guy, it's time for us to make some magic." 

Flute in hand, he gladly followed you. _______________________________________

"Hey, love, I forgot my pocket sized sheet music in the office, can you go get it please? I still need to ask Ava about the music in the third scene."

You nodded, turning around on your heels and quickly jogging to the office, the room in which you all had brainstorm sessions about your shows. It wasn't unusual for your boyfriend to forget his stuff, and you knew that he and Ava were the two most musically talented people in your crew and they liked to make sure they both agreed with whatever music was played, so you weren't suspicious of the situation. That was, until you reached the office, and your feet stopped moving upon laying your eyes on the person that was already seated at your round table, smiling politely as she saw you enter. It was none other than Erica Rodriguez, billionaire, media figure, and basically the owner of the entire movie industry. 

"Hello there. I see that you found your way to me. Take a seat please." 

Your limbs felt like cooked pasta, your face heating up at her words, and an uneasy feeling settled in your stomach. What in God's name was going on? After being looked at expectantly for at least a few seconds, you broke out of your reverie, stumbling over your own feet, but into the chair opposite of Mrs. Rodriguez. 

"Excuse me ma'am, but we're about to play the afternoon show in the northern region of the park, and I'm expected to be-" 

"Don't worry, everything is taken care of. One of the women of your group with a very unimportant role in this play is taking over your character for the afternoon, so everyone is notified that you won't join your crew today. In fact, this was their idea, they personally invited me. And I must say, I'm pleased I responded." 

Your cluelessness was probably very evident on your face, Mrs. Rodriguez's polite expression morphing into a genuine, but amused smile as she pushed a piece of paper in your direction that you hadn't noticed before. 

"A few weeks ago, your friends contacted me, to tell me about this amazingly talented girl in their crew. About a year ago, that girl started allowing the crew to play her own written stories, and she even grew as far as to play the lead role in some of them. They told me that even though she'd always been a good writer, she'd also grown enormously over the last few months, and that the show they were about to play next was the best story she'd ever written, and that I should come take a look." 

"So...so you came to look at my play?" 

Your throat felt dry, your head foggy with all the unexpected information. Mrs. Rodriguez nodded enthusiastically, and the uneasy feeling inside your stomach swirled, although at this point, you weren't too sure it was uneasiness that was going on in there. 

"Yes, yes I did. I took my daughter with me, and together we watched your show this morning. I'm glad you didn't notice me, I wouldn't have been able to judge properly if you had, but it needs to be said, you have an extraordinary gift." 

The blush covered your cheeks before her words had any chance to cool off. You looked down, playing with the hem of your princess dress, somewhere in the back of your head noting that you must look utterly ridiculous. 

"Thank you, that's really kind, but it's not just me. I wrote the story, but my friends, the crew, they're the ones bringing the story to life, making the magic." 

Her smile morphed into a knowing grin. 

"Which is exactly the reason that, if you agree to make your play into a movie with my help, I would love for your entire crew to continue to play the roles they play now. I've been looking for something like this for a long time now, something with some classic elements, but with a creative twist. Something kids get excited about, but adults just as much. Something magical, really, and I found it here. Now, it wouldn't be fair for me to pressure you into saying yes immediately, your friends told me that this place is practically sacred for you. Just know that I would treat your story with the utmost care and respect, that making it into a movie wouldn't take away the magic, it would just capture it for eternity." 

Your next words were out before you knew it, your heart making little skips. This was huge, and you were surprised you realised that so soon, but in this moment, everything was crystal-clear to you. 

"I don't need time, ma'am. I've seen all the movies made under your care, and they're all astoundingly beautiful. I'd be honoured to make my play into a movie. Thank you so much." 

Your vision blurred by unshed tears, your smile had barely ever been this wide. You were flying, soaring, wanted to laugh, jump, dance, cry, sing with joy. You also realised that you wanted to share this with the rest of your crew. 

"You can keep this copy of the contract, it was a bit ceremonial anyway, I'll send you a copy by mail soon, is that okay?" 

You nodded quickly, standing up to shake her hand as she took her coat and her briefcase, once again congratulating you before walking out the door of the office room, leaving you with the most overwhelming wave of gratitude you'd ever felt in your life. _______________________________________

This time around, you found your boyfriend between the park's castle and the 'magic woods', not too far away from where the crowd was still gathered after the play. He was cleaning his flute, silently checking every inch to see if it hadn't been damaged somewhere during the play. It was a ritual for him, and while you'd normally let him have it, you were way too excited now to not engulf him in a hug right this second. 

"Woah....what happened?" 

But there was a certain edge to the tone of his voice, and you knew that he was perfectly aware of everything that had happened to you these past half an hour. 

"Oh, shut up. Was it your idea? Honestly I can't thank all of you enough." 

He chuckled, placing a kiss on your temple, and your arms automatically squeezed him a bit tighter. 

"Actually, it was Ava's, but I helped actually reaching out to Mrs. Rodriguez. We all did, to be honest." 

You wanted to kiss him then and there, engulfed in sunlight, while the excited chatter of visitors could still be heard from not too far away, when a certain little girl's voice broke the moment. 

"Princess Rose! Why are you hugging this man? And where is your husband? Do you not love him anymore? But you kissed this morning!?" 

You hadn't ever turned around as quickly as you did now, horrified that one of the little ones had caught you full on wrapped around what for them was just another character in the play. But your blood actually turned cold when you saw which little girl stumbled upon you. 

"Mummy, look! I found Princess Rose! But she's hugging someone other than Prince Carl!" 

And there she was, Mrs. Rodriguez. You relaxed a bit when you realised that she wasn't as horrified as you were, but only slightly. You could only stand there, wide-eyed, for once not knowing what to say. Fortunately, your ever shy boyfriend decided that this was the perfect moment to speak up. 

"Hi there! How are you?" 

The girl's mouth curved into a cute smile, regardless of the situation charmed that someone in a knight costume was talking to her. She nodded her head, but also leaned against her mum, trying to make herself a bit more comfortable. Your boyfriend, meanwhile, made a ridiculously deep bow for Mrs Rodriguez' daughter. You stifled your laughter. 

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Knight Ronald, and I am Princess Rose's favourite brother." 

The little girl's eyes widened, an excited look on her face. 

"Are you? I don't have a brother, although I would love to have one! Then I could dress up as a princess and play princess Rose! And then my brother could play you and we could go on adventures together! I-" 

But Mrs. Rodriguez had stopped her daughter's rambling, the biggest grin on her face. Your face probably mirrored hers. 

"Okay sweetie, I think it's time you and I go home. Say bye to Princess Rose and Knight Ronald, and then we need to leave, okay?" 

The girl ran forward, wrapping her small arms around your waist, as that was the highest she could reach. You hugged her back, mouthing a thank you to your boyfriend, and a sorry to Mrs Rodriguez, who gave you a reassuring wave in return. After the two of them had left, you concentrated all your attention on the wonderful guy next to you again. This time, you checked your surroundings before wrapping your arms around his neck, groaning slightly as you realised just how close you'd come to completely ruining both the little girl's and your own day. 

"Please don’t ever say that you're my brother again" 

He chuckled, but rubbed your head in a comforting manner anyway. 

"I won’t.” 

And he sealed his promise with a kiss worthy of being reciprocated by a true princess.

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Til the light goes out (and after) - part 1

Writing date: I started in October ‘20, got scared by the amount of personal issues I put into “the reader” and procrastinated. I eventually finished in January ‘21, lol.

Genre: Angst, I guess? But not too badly, it’s fine.

Warnings: Insecurity (to everyone reading this, you are worthy!!)

Word count: 3.6k words

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"I remember when I reached the age of 25 and I had this jarring quarter-life crisis. I felt like I wasn't at all where I wanted to be: I wanted to be deeply in love and almost married to my soulmate. (...) I also wanted to be a publishing author. Yet I was single, and had never put a book together, even after writing hundreds of poems, journal entries, and essays in my life. I felt like I was just wasting my time, and that felt terrifying. That was three years ago. I look back at that time in my early to mid twenties so differently now. I see many beautiful poems written. Deep conversations with cherished friends. Night walks, early morning walks. Dinners with my family and birthdays, going around the table saying what we love about each other. (...) None of it was wasted. It was beautiful, and the life I had lived was so meaningful and precious. I wish I could go back, and tell myself that, so the younger me could appreciate each moment, rather than comparing where she was to where she wanted to be."

~Katherine Cimorelli Straneva

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"I think Miss Swann over there should have the role."

Your hands stopped their movements to free you from your pirate costume, and you looked up. Your entire group of colleagues was staring at you, expectantly.

You see, you worked at a theme park, and it was just about the most amazing job ever. Every holiday period, it opened its gates, ready to shower people of all ages in everything magical. You were part of the actors crew, which basically meant that you acted out entire stories at fixed intervals and filled the rest of your time with walking around the theme park in costumes, doing small acts on your way. Often you ended up improvising, dancing with your guests, and of course posing for pictures. If you could, you would live in the theme park. Really, there was just something so entrancing about the atmosphere there, the music coming out of the lanterns beside all the roads, the roller coasters, the beautifully decorated buildings. A big part of the magic was because of the work you and your crew put into your characters and its stories though, you shouldn't underestimate that, which was exactly the reason you weren't too keen on taking the lead role in your next story. The pressure to create the biggest part of the magic was something you didn't know you could handle.

"I'm...not too sure about that. Ariel always plays the lead role, why shouldn't she now? I've never even done a lead role."

'Ariel' was one of your colleagues you were probably the closest with. She was funny, kind, and seemingly good at everything she did, acting included. Her real name wasn't Ariel, but you never called each other by your real names. It was like a tradition within your crew to call everyone by the name of the character they were currently playing. Seeing as she had had the lead role in your newest play, a crossover between Pirates of the Caribbean and The Little Mermaid, her name had been Ariel for the past two weeks, and yours had been Elizabeth.

Your friend wriggled herself out of her tail, her eyes still on you. A smirk was playing around her mouth, and your stomach gave a swirl. She had actually meant it when she proposed to give you the lead role.

"Because, dear Elizabeth, you wrote the play, and you did so beautifully! Your talent is ridiculous, and I think the entire thing is going to come across as much more honest if you play the biggest part in your own story. Isn't that logical?"

The other members of your crew nodded in agreement, and while you couldn't help but smile at their faith in you, the nerves in your stomach grew. You started to untie the laces of your pirate boots as you voiced your concerns.

"I'm not too sure about that. It's a love story, remember?"

The grinning on Ariel's face turned into a warm smile, but her eyes showed determination, and at that point you knew that you had lost this particular battle.

"I remember, and I also remember that you're the biggest romantic out of all of us. Come on, we all know you're going to be fantastic."

Another colleague of yours spoke up, telling you that he'd been in awe of the script you'd written, and another joined, claiming she'd even cried a little at the end. Your doubts slowly folded themselves back up again.

"The story belongs in this place, just like the lead role belongs to you, Elizabeth."

The words were spoken by the most timid guy in your crew. He never talked in your plays but provided the music in them, and even though he was terrific at adding that extra touch of magic to your stories, he never contributed to conversations about their content. You thought he just didn't really mind, as long as he could play his music. If he was willing to speak out loud about it, it must mean you really were meant to follow your crew's judgement.

You smiled, a blush blossoming on your cheeks, and you knew your eyes twinkled when you finally gave in.

"I'll do it."

_______________________________________

"Hey!"

You plopped down next to the music guy in your group, feeling extra cheerful today. You would start rehearsing the piece you had written today, and now that you'd been able to get over the initial insecurities you'd had, you felt really excited about this first rehearsal.

"Good morning, Jade."

You grinned at your brand new name, rummaging through your bag. Tossing aside a water bottle and some elastic bands, you found what you were looking for. Your eyes scanned over the words, making sure you had taken the right document out of the stack you had brought with you, before stretching out your arm in the direction of the music guy. He looked in your direction questioningly. Your grin turned into a warm, although somewhat insecure smile.

"If you're okay with it, your name is Sam from now on."

He read your script in silence, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Who says I can even act?"

"Who said I was able to play the lead role of my own story?"

He threw his head back in laughter, and you watched, surprised you were able to get such an exuberant reaction out of him.

Your alarm chose that exact moment to go off, the bright letters "START REHEARSAL" instantly reforming the knot in your stomach. You frowned at yourself. Weren't you over it by now? It was time to start the whole thing and you were still nervous, for God's sake.

"Hey, you'll be fine. Even better, you get to kiss the guy everyone wants to marry. You should relax more, maybe you can enjoy acting again then."

You tore your eyes away from your phone and onto Sam's face. His comment didn't help at all, and your face must have shown it, because his eyes went from warm to panicked, and your guilt punched the knot of nerves in your stomach. What a mess you'd made of all of this, already. You managed to send a tired smile in his direction, trying to salvage as much as you could from whatever it had been that had made him open up to you a bit.

"Thanks for trying to calm me, really it means a lot. I think I'll calm down once this rehearsal is over though. Are you ready? You're in the scene I want to start the rehearsal with."

He nodded again, awkwardly showing you the flute he was holding, and followed you to the middle of the room where you beckoned everyone to come join you so you could start.

Taking one last deep breath, you started.

"Hi everyone! As you know, we're starting our rehearsals for my story today. If everything went well, you've all received the script for the character you're playing. I actually wanted to start with one of the last scenes,..."

Everyone nodded at you encouragingly throughout your little speech, and as you realised that these were all your friends who genuinely cared about you, you felt the knot in your stomach slowly untie itself.

The first scene you rehearsed was actually the ultimate confrontation between the good and the bad in your story. Your friend Ariel, whose name was now Ruby, played the villain in your story, and you played Jade, the lead character. This scene basically consisted of the fight between Ruby and the main character's love interest, Dante. The story situated itself in the medieval times. Dante had come to Ruby's tower to rescue Jade, who he believed was kidnapped by Ruby, but upon arriving, he - and the park's visitors - would discover that Jade wasn't actually kidnapped and Ruby had made it all up. Then, Jade would realise everything just in time to go up to Ruby's tower as well and rescue Dante, instead of the other way around. What could you say? You'd always been a feminist at heart. Dante was played by a great friend of yours, and you'd actually written this piece thinking he could play the male love interest, while Ariel would play the female lead role, but things had, evidently, taken a turn. The two of them had been friends way longer than you'd been friends with any of them, and even though the three of you were really close, you couldn't help but marvel at the chemistry the two of them had, something you and Dante would very much lack, or at least that's what your insecurities made you believe.

However, you didn't want to rewrite the entire thing just so you wouldn't have to play each other's love interest, and you had showed the script, including the initial cast, to everyone anyway, so it wasn't really something you could get out of without a whole lot of awkwardness.

The rehearsal started off well enough. Ruby was, as you'd expected, really, a brilliant villain, and apart from some minor corrections from you, everyone executed the script exactly the way you had in mind. You were starting to believe in this.

That was, until the very end of the play, in which Jade and Dante would get all cute because of the whole we-just-survived-a-villain-attack-and-thought-we'd-lost-each-other situation. You thought you'd mentally prepared yourself, really, you had, but apparently it hadn't been enough. The awkward tension was palpable, your own movements, usually so fluent, were now stiff, your rigid body seemingly forgetting how your limbs worked. No one said anything about it, but you felt it and you know the others did too.

And you tried to pull out of that awkward moment, tried to chase your insecurities away, you really did, but they seemed to cling to you, and the longer it lasted, the worse your mood became. When you almost fell off of the stage because you'd instinctively set a step backwards when Dante had tried to pull you into his arms, you knew you couldn't continue like this.

Hastily, you grabbed your jacket, quickly telling everyone you would have a 15-minute break and that they'd done a good job, before hurriedly walking out of the building, and into the cold.

_______________________________________

The wind quickened your tears, and you angrily wiped them away before they could hit your neck, mad at yourself for allowing them to fall down. You knew you'd had to get back inside your rehearsal room eventually, and while everyone had a good image of what you were doing, you weren't looking forward to letting them see the evidence.

Most of all though, you felt vulnerable. Vulnerable because you had failed, and because everyone had witnessed you doing it. Vulnerable because your biggest insecurities had just come true.

"Hey, what is up with you?"

You looked up, watching as Ruby flopped herself down on the bench you were sitting on, turning herself so she was completely facing you. She wore an expression of confusion, and worry.

You let go of your eye contact, your eyes drilling holes in the soil beneath your feet. You owed her the truth. In fact, you owed your entire crew the truth. Being completely honest with yourself, you knew that was the only way this play would end up being a success. You took a deep breath.

"I'm just....not equipped to play Dante's love interest."

You couldn't look at her, too ashamed, but her voice conveyed honest surprise, which, in turn, made you surprised. Didn't she realise how obvious it all was?

"What are you talking about? You were fine until you had to reunite with Dante, and if you didn't like physical contact or if you were extremely hesitant for anything romantic, I'd agree with you and say you should probably focus on roles you are very good at, but you, you're a hopeless romantic at heart, and you like physical contact. Why is it so difficult then? I'm not making fun of you, I genuinely don't understand."

You scoffed, too caught up in your own head, annoyed at her lack of understanding.

"How can you not? I've never had a boyfriend, and that explains everything. Don't you see? It's not that I don't want to play a character that's in love, and I'm sure that if I managed to calm down I'd even enjoy it, but whenever I come close to Dante I feel like "forever single" is practically inked on my forehead."

You had, by now, managed to look at your friend, your annoyance chasing away a bit of the previous insecurity and shame. Her face morphed into a look of understanding, and you didn't know if that made you feel better of worse.

"I know it's a bit intimidating to play Dante's love interest, and I know that, like, everyone wants to date him, or at least gushes about how good-looking he is, but that doesn't mean that you can't play his love interest. Stop thinking you're too ugly to be around beautiful people."

If you hadn't been feeling so terrible, you might have literally facepalmed. Maybe you should've seen this coming, but Dante being known as the Adonis of your group really was the least of your worries.

"Wait...what? No, this has nothing to do with him being attractive, you know he and I are only friends. In fact, I think you would be great as his girlfriend, I would totally ship that. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that he's just a friend and it's not about playing his love interest, it's about playing someone's love interest in general. I just...what if it looks completely stupid? I know it looked stupid now. I can imagine all these cute things in my head, but then when I have to execute them, the only thing I can think about is that no one wants to do this with me in real life, and that just...I don't know. You all one by one find the love of your lives, or at least good partners you're happy and in love with, and it...it just makes me wonder if I'll ever be good enough to have that myself, as well."

"Oh, honey..."

You felt Ruby's arm wrap around you, her hand stroking your back, and you eyes filled themselves with tears again. She wasn't a physical person and therefore didn't like touching people, but she did now for you because she knew that you were. The tears started falling again.

"I mean, I knew you were ready to have a boyfriend, or like, to commit to someone and be in love with them, but I didn't know you were so insecure about not being in a relationship, and now I wish I'd realised that earlier. But you have to realise that while you're insecure now because you think no one is going to want you, you're going to be insecure about not deserving a boyfriend when you have one. Trust me, the insecurities don't go away, they just change. I guess what I'm trying to say is... don't wait for that moment that you're someone's girlfriend, the insecurities aren't going to magically disappear then. Now's the time to work on them. And, this shouldn't matter, but for the record: I fully believe that you are very worthy of being someone's girlfriend, and when the right person comes along, you'll give your all, because that's who you are, and it'll go a lot better than most of the relationships you wish to have yourself now. For now though, just have fun. You get to kiss Dante and make lots of bratty girls jealous!"

You chuckled at her attempt to cheer you up. You were really grateful for her. The two of you were complete opposites, and her radiance sometimes made you insecure, but right now, with her words, you believed yourself a worthy person again, and that meant more than you could express.

"That's what Sam said, too."

Ruby's eyebrows went up at lightning speed, her eyes wide.

"Wait, he talks? And he told you you'd be a good girlfriend?"

You rolled your eyes, but also noted how you had to fight the blush off of your cheeks.

"No, dummie, he told me I'd be able to kiss the guy - and I quote - everyone wants to marry. I guess he's not wrong, a lot of female visitors do seem to want to faint whenever he includes them in improvs."

Your friend chuckled, and, her laugh being so infectious, you chuckled along with her. Then, when you didn't expect it, she jumped off of the bench, beckoning you to follow her. As she entered the rehearsal room, she yelled that you'd come with her, and as the rest of the group started cheering, you realised that that had been a good choice.

_______________________________________

"Dante, hold on, I'm coming!"

A few of your younger spectators started whispering excitedly as you stepped into view, quickly climbing a long, round staircase to get to platform on which Dante and Ruby were battling. You were busy concentrating on tripping and falling off of the stairs. That had happened once during your rehearsals, and if you hadn't still been in the lower half of the stairs and if Sam hadn't discarded his flute to catch you, you probably wouldn't have been able to play Jade. While that scenario would've actually sounded appealing a few weeks ago, you had to admit now that you loved playing the lead role in this play.

You threw yourself in the battle, pulling just about the bluntest sword out of its holder around your waist, and clashing with Ruby's. Needless to say, Ruby was no match for you and Dante together, and with a dramatic last breath of air - and a smirk only you and Dante could see from so high up - she fell backwards, tumbling down. This part had actually taken quite some organisational talent. Right in front of the platform you were battling on, there was the staircase, while there was some kind of wall behind the platform. Ruby always fell down behind the wall, where multiple thick layers of soft material made her fall softly and unharmed. The visitors, however, only saw her tumbling down the platform, which made for a very dramatic effect. Of course, Ruby, out of all people, loved it the most.

While the enthusiastic applause intensified, you and Dante fell into each other's arms. You separated a bit, and patiently waited as Dante pulled a lock of your hair behind your ear, something that was in the script. Then, he leaned down slightly, pulling you in for a small, but cute kiss. This wasn't your first time enacting the play, and so you'd gotten used to kissing Dante, and even though you both really didn't have romantic feelings for each other and this was only just a play, you found that the enthusiasm during that kiss from both the kids and adults who were watching, had cured a lot of your insecurities over time.

Hand in hand, you walked down the stairs. Beneath you, the crowd started cheering again, and Dante squeezed your hand, smiling at you. You knew he was congratulating you for once again bringing the play to a successful end. Every time the two of you walked down those stairs, he did it, and every time, you were really grateful.

Once down, your entire crew formed a line, taking each others hands to make a collective bow. You were already holding Dante's, and reached with your other hand to Ruby, but to your surprise, Ruby completely dodged it and went to stand next to Dante on his other side. You were about to grin, your hopes at getting them together once more reviving, before Ruby looked at you and sent you a wink. You were puzzled for a second, until you felt your fingers being intertwined with someone else's, a warm, and, let's be honest, a bit of a clammy hand. Normally, your entire crew held hands with closer fingers, kind of a palm-to-palm thing, so this was a surprise. You were quick to turn your head, and looked straight into Sam's warm eyes. He flashed you a shy smile, and congratulated you on your performance. You smiled back, bowing down with the rest of your crew.

When you got home tonight, you wouldn't slip off your smile along with your costume, for you finally understood that you were just as worthy of a fairytale as all the princesses, goddesses and fairies you had played along the way.

[runenc03]

Ready

Writing date: February 2021

Genre: fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff

Warnings: none! I personally really like this one :)

Word count: 2.2k words

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It is rare, but there are moments in life in which you are aware, with every fiber of your being, that you're making a memory that will last forever. For you, one of these moments was right now. It was a late summer evening, the sun had been down for quite some hours now, but you and your friends were still very much awake. The entire afternoon, you'd prepared for this. You'd collected blankets and pillows in all of your houses, hung up a white sheet between two trees in your friend's backyard and installed a beamer in between the giant pillow fort and the trees. Your backyard cinema was born. At first, you'd been obsessed with the aesthetic of it all, your attention solely focused on the film that was playing in front of you, but soon, your gaze had drifted off to the fantastic people around you. Your friend group was made of all kinds of people, diversity was really the key element here. Apart from all sorts of skin colours, religions, and ethnicities, you had the funny friend, the mum friend, the one who shared all their food, the really intelligent friend, the geeky friend, the enthusiastic friend. Regardless of all these differences, there were a lot of things that kept you together too, like a mutual respect for each other and the world. It was a mix that allowed you to be the most at ease with yourself you'd ever been. 

"You're missing the plot." 

You looked next to you, where another friend of yours was seated. In your head, he was the sweet friend, the cute friend, the butterfly friend. He was the friend you were in love with. 

"Shut up. I've seen it like..thirteen times already." 

He grinned at that, lifting his arm as an invitation for you to crawl closer to him, and you did. It was something typical of the two of you. While you hugged all your friends, you were particularly clingy with him, and he was very physical with you, too. You never discussed it, it just happened, and it was absolute bliss. You nestled yourself closer to him, smiling as you felt his hand rub on your upper arm, tugging you even closer. You sighed in contentment. This was nice. And it sufficed for a few minutes, until you realised you weren't as comfortable as you could possibly be. Yet. 

Should you? 

You'd been as close physically as you were now before, but hadn't gone further than this, his arms around you and your sides touching. You really risked making it awkward, or even worse, one of your friends making a suggestive comment- God knows they all ship you like crazy, and you didn't want to face the consequences of your action not being welcomed with enthusiastic encouragement. But a light breeze reminded you of the magic of this moment, and a gentle squeeze on your upper arm gave you the confidence you needed. Carefully, you wrapped your own arms around his torso, lifted both of your legs so they could rest straight over his right one, and finally laid your head against his chest. For a few seconds, you were rooted there, waiting for him to react. He didn't say anything like you'd expected him to do, but then you slowly felt him release the air from his longs, his entire body becoming more relaxed once he realised what had happened. The arm that had previously been resting on your upper arm was now laying on you waist, and you found that you might like that even better. You were about to protest when he lifted it, but smiled once you felt him sweep the hair out of your face.

"I'm repeating my comment: you're missing the plot if your head is laying sideways on my chest." 

But there was something joyous in his tone, and you couldn't help the butterflies from fluttering inside of you. 

"Then I'll repeat my answer: shut up." 

After all, you'd seen it thirteen times already. 

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"Does anyone want some more strawberries?"

You were in the park, enjoying a well-deserved early afternoon picnic with your friend group. All your friends were there, and then there was a new face. One of your friends had recently gotten together with a girl you'd never met before, and you had decided that she could come on this picnic with you, you were all dying to meet her, after all. You'd been in the park, telling stories and sharing food, for about an hour now, and it was wonderful being able to just relax. You'd been a bit nervous to meet your friend's girlfriend, as you always were when meeting new people, but she'd turned out to be really nice.  You were sure you'd continue to get along and maybe even have a thriving friendship in the future. Closing your eyes, you leaned backwards and basked in the bright sunlight. This is what happiness felt like. 

"Hey, you have something on the corner of your mouth, here..." 

You burst with laughter then, opening your eyes and facing him, his eyes squinting against the sun, dimples in his cheeks. There was nothing on your mouth, it was his way of making fun of the cliche romcom you'd insisted on watching with him last week. He’d cringed particularly hard at that part of the story, and you'd thrown a pillow at him, entirely too engrossed in the movie to be annoyed with him. Because how could you ever be annoyed at him? Even now, the way he looked at you made you feel like you were melting, and not just from the sun. Okay, so maybe you had watched too many cheesy romcoms. The point was, you felt so utterly at ease with the way you were around him, and vice versa. It was so easy, so natural. 

"Hm, do you want to wipe it off for me, please?" 

You were trying to keep a straight face, but definitely failed as he ceremoniously picked up a napkin from the middle of your blanket and started to precisely poke the corner of your mouth, and then your cheek, nose, the arch of your eyebrow, a spot right under your hairline. Between fits of giggles, you managed to make him stop. 

"Hey, you're hurting me!" He knew you weren't actually hurt, and so his voice was still filled with amusement as he answered in the fakest posh accent you'd ever heard. 

"I am so sorry darling, let me kiss it better for you."

And so he came closer, quickly kissing all the places he had poked with the napkin, apart from the corner of your mouth, of course. Something inside of you twisted in disappointment at that. 

"They are so cute, what the he-" 

It was your friend's girlfriend, whispering to your friend, but they cut her off. 

"They aren't together though." 

"Wait...they aren't?" 

You saw from the corner of your eye how her eyes widened in surprise, and your own did too, because the breeze of satisfaction that had blown through you at the girl's words had taken you by surprise more so than what she'd actually said. 

"Nope. But they will, or at least I hope so." 

The smile on your face grew as you overheard their conversation. 

"Hey, are there any strawberries left? I actually wanted some but then I got attacked!”

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It happened in the late afternoon of one of the hottest days of that summer, at the beach. Your friends had gotten together and, packed with beach towels, inflatable beach balls, and what was probably an overload of snacks, you drove to the sea, to spend the day swimming, sunbathing, and desperately trying to keep the sand out of every small crevice even though? it would creep in anyway. You were definitely done swimming for today though, and had retreated to a quiet, shady area of the beach, to just lay down and listen to some music. You'd closed your eyes, your mind travelling back to the moment all of your friends had immediately shed their clothes and dived into the sea, while he had stopped you from doing the same, insisting on covering your back in sunscreen lotion first before you sought refreshment in the cool water. It's not like you minded having him rub your back. You'd done the same to him after he had been done, taking your sweet time making sure his entire back was glistening from the sunscreen, and by the time it had dried, your friends had already come out of the water, teasing you that applying sunscreen had never in the history of sunscreen lotion taken such a long time. You'd hid your face in his bare chest while they were laughing, and discovered that that did nothing to diminish the blush on your cheeks. 

"Hi...you okay? You were so far away all of a sudden." 

You opened your eyes, staring up at him, and nodded your head, smiling at his thoughtfulness. 

"Yeah, just… a bit too much sun. And I like how quiet it is here." 

He hummed in agreement, crouching down to offer you one of the snacks he had brought from your "headquarters" on the middle of the beach, and then went to lay beside you. You'd expected him to just fully lie down, maybe take your hand like he had done more and more during the last few weeks, but instead he turned so he was laying on his side, facing you, his left arm propped to hold his head up. You lifted an eyebrow in surprise, getting ready to make a dry comment, when you saw the way he was looking at you. It wasn't like he had done when you'd first arrived at the beach, the way his eyes had raked over your body while simultaneously looking like he wanted to chastise himself for doing so. You hadn't minded, not with him. If you were being honest, you had done exactly the same. No, right now he was looking at you as if he was ultimately fascinated by you. It was as if he was looking through you, or maybe he was just looking right inside of you. His eyes held a certain emotion you couldn't completely decipher, but you felt so worthy, so enveloped in him even if no part of him was touching you right now. It was in this sudden moment of clarity that you realised that this was it. There would be no other moment, you had to do it now. You felt as if on a crossroad, deciding right now what the rest of your life would look like. You felt it in every fiber of your being, in the way the cool breeze of the shadow swept over your overheated skin, in the way there was a smudge of sand covering his cheek for one reason or another. "Now. Now. Now!", your heart seemed to be chanting, but your head was so full, you were so acutely aware of your own body, and of his, and of all the things surrounding you, and- 

"You're doing it again." 

Your heart was pounding. Now. Now. Now. 

"Doing what?" 

He could hear it, he knew, you were convinced of it.Now. 

"Overthinking it." 

So why not be completely honest while you were at it? 

"And how can I not? You're...you're one of my best friends." 

His eyes held yours. He understood. 

"I know, and I'm not trying to be impulsive or rash, but don't you think it's time to let go of the thinking, and just...finally do it? Finally be honest with ourselves, each other, heck, with our friends? If you don't want to, we don't have to, you know full well that I don't care about labels anyway. But I like to think that I know you very well, and I think you want to put the label on. I- worrying about it is the only thing that's holding you back from being honest that this...us...was always loving in a romantic way." 

You let the words hang between you, letting them sink in your soul. He was right. You would love nothing more than to love him, officially romantically, for the entire world to see and to know. You were just worried. You didn't really know why. It was in your nature to be worried, it was the thing you knew how to do, the easy way. But you continued to look into his eyes, and it was like looking into a mirror. For the first time, your cloudy vision was clear and you saw the way you'd been living before, and the life you could've lived if fear hadn't held you back. It was in that moment that you started truly living. Tears started brimming in your eyes, and you closed them, letting out a choked sob that was audibly filled with relief, and an emotion so raw and pure that it took your breath away.   Laying one of your hands on his cheek, you finally placed your lips upon his, and you felt your heart let go of the heaviness of your worries. It was time. Your time. You were ready.

[runenc03]

Mirror

Writing date: January 2021

Genre: I...don’t think this is fluff. It’s more angst I guess? Idk I normally only write fluffy things lol

Warnings: bad self esteem, like, very bad one. A very insecure character

Word count: 1k words

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She looked at herself in the mirror.

  The sight that greeted her was one of terror, despair, darkness. Her hair was an unpredictable wildfire in its volume, sticking out at all angles, the quintessential image of drought, visible frizziness framing her face. Her skin looked pale, almost grey, the colour the sky holds when the rain is contemplating when to fall. Her eyes trailed to her forehead, where indelible remnants of acne scarred her skin, leaving dents like hail on cars during an ice storm. Her eyebrows weren't much better off, bushy and today especially misshapen, like unexpected flashes of lightning during the darkest of thunderstorms. Her cheeks, too chubby, were like a thick layer of heavily clouded sky was plastered over her bones. Her eyes found the reflection of her lips, trembling uncontrollably, like old trees during an earthquake, desperately trying to stay upright while the pressure overwhelms them, eventually accepting their fate, waiting until their trunks will break. Her chin wasn't outlined, and had she had any energy left, she would've manipulated the image in front of her, craning her neck in odd directions to create the sharp contrast between chin and throat she so desperately wanted. All she was given was a slightly protruding bone, like the top of an upside-down volcano, with and underneath it, a wobbly line of skin that was supposed to be her neck, to her resembling flows of lava, coating herself in vicious, molten substance. Suddenly, her airway felt constricted, hot, in a way, as if the scorching lava heat had penetrated her throat. 

For just a moment, her eyes found the eyes of the girl in the mirror, sunken, hollow. She searched, but there was nothing there, the kind of nothing that is left after tornadoes, or hurricanes. The kind of nothing one finds at the bottom of a polluted lake, or in the middle of a cold desert, or surrounded by loudly honking cars, forced to fill lungs with gasses. The moment was over as quickly as it had come, her eyes filling with a familiar layer of tears, an almost comforting wall to protect her against the cruel image in front of her. It was like fog on a cold winter morning, trapping you in, and to some people that might feel restricting, but to her it meant she couldn't look anymore, and somehow, that was what saved her time and time again.

He looked at her as she looked at herself through the mirror.

  The early sunlight streamed through the room, bathing her face in a golden light. He saw the blush on her cheeks rapidly moving over her skin like the northern light in the sky during the darkest night. Her nose was covered in freckles, a mix of constellations he would forever be fascinated by. He let his eyes trail further along her face, stopping at the curve of her lips. To him, the curves looked like the young leaves of an oak tree, gently swaying in the breeze on an early spring morning. He saw her eyes concentrate on her hair. She was frowning. To him, however, her hair looked perfectly fine. It was one of the physical things he loved most about her. It was a bit frizzy this morning, but he found that that complemented her fiery personality that much better. Her voluminous locks cascaded around her face, untamed, like that time when they had danced in the rain. She'd laughed about the messiness of it all. She could laugh back then. He looked at her eyebrows, the way they curved above her eyes, like rainbows seemed to curve around the world, when the sun was close enough. He studied her eyelashes, the way they reached to her eyebrows, like flower petals stretched toward the sky after a rain shower. And then there were her eyes. They used to be his favourite feature of hers, before the pain had nestled itself there, before they had started looking empty. He knew they could be so expressive, so radiant. They were clear, and again, just like every other part of her complexion, elegantly shaped. He got lost in there whenever they were together, whenever she allowed him to look her in the eyes and tell her what he saw. He had told her all kinds of stories that way, while gazing into her eyes and describing what he saw. They were the windows to her soul, a soul that was once full of adventure, and imagination, and a will to live life to its fullest. He so wished to get that back.  But even with the tears in her eyes, and the frizziness of her hair, and the acne scars on her forehead she so often complained about, she was beautiful. Not the kind of beautiful you see in a building, or on a painting, or even in other beautiful people. No, she was the kind of beautiful that you could only witness outside, the kind of beautiful one finds on top of a mountain, looking out over landscapes full of rivers and trees, the kind of beautiful one experiences after resurfacing from the water and letting the sun run itself over their skin, the kind of beautiful one feels by walking over grass barefoot. And he knew that the way he saw her wasn't completely accurate, that the love he felt for her coloured his vision. But the way she viewed herself was far further away from the truth, because she constantly hid herself in a well full of tar, or behind a wall made of tears. It was in that moment that he vowed that one day, he would let her see. She would wake up, look into the mirror, and discover all the beautiful nature right in front of her. The birds would sing in victory, the sun would shine in joy. And she, she would wipe the last remaining tear from her cheek, and realise that the potential had been there, all along.

[runenc03]

Birthday drabble

Writing date: December 2020

Genre: Fluff, that’s all this blog is made of at this point

Warnings: none!

Word count: 800 words

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"There you go.” You looked at your husband with heavy lidded eyes, having just woken up. He'd handed you a glass of water and you drank it gratefully, glad you could start your day of hydrated. "Thank you, but please get under the blankets again. I'm an old woman now, I deserve some cuddling on my birthday." He threw his head back in laughter, and you winced, hoping your youngest child wouldn't wake up from his dad's laughter. You watched as he lifted the blankets, and shivered as the cold air hit the part of your stomach that wasn't covered anymore because your pajama top had ridden up somewhere during the night, something that had started happening regularly since you had entered the second trimester of your pregnancy. Your husband put an arm around you, gently pulling you closer to him, and you didn't complain, laying your head on his chest and throwing one of your legs over his. "How was your night?" You hummed incoherently, wanting him to fill the silence in your room. You loved his voice, loved listening to what he had to say. It was the sound of safety, of steadiness, of happiness and laughter. Of home. "Hmm quite well, yours? Did I sleep talk? Tell me about your dreams." It wasn't only an excuse to hear him talk. You had the habit of telling each other about your dreams, both the actual sleeping ones and the ones you had about the future. "Dreamed about my wife. And about the dog eating a full out English breakfast, for some reason." It was your time to snort, your colourful imagination immediately coming up with a detailed image, your pet stuffing his face with bacon and poached eggs, or something similar.   "Speaking of, should I make something for you? I can make pancakes, it's only your birthday once a year." You smiled once again, you seemingly couldn't stop smiling today. You were just so happy, and not just because your husband wanted to make you pancakes.  It was the way he got a glass of water every day of your pregnancy first thing in the morning, and it was the way you, in return, always wrote him little notes that you put in random places, between the pages of his favourite book or somewhere in the middle of the kids' drawings that proudly decorated your fridge. There were some advantages to your kids not being able to read yet, and you planned on making full use of it. They already grew up way too fast as it was.   "No, stay here. We can use the time making breakfast cuddling, and then just eat cornflakes. I like the new ones I bought last week." You felt him nod, and his hand traveled from your hitched up leg to your stomach, drawing small circles on it with his thumb. Smile number 45, check. Silence fell over the room once more, and you dealt with it for approximately a minute before you started humming something. You didn't like silence. You were used to the constant noise a loving family with kids naturally made. Your husband joined, and it sounded quite alright, until you attempted to make a harmony out of it and failed miserably, resulting in the two of you falling into a fit of giggles. Really, it was a blissful morning. You watched the first rays of sunshine dance with your curtains, creating beautiful shapes on your wooden floor. Your husband was the first one to break the silence this time. "How long until she wakes up?" You craned your neck to look at the alarm beside him, nestling your head back on his chest, smirking slightly. "6 minutes" "4" Your smile broadened. The two of you bet every morning on when your oldest daughter would come barging into your room, a habit she'd never really grown out of, no matter how good of an example she set for her younger siblings in every other aspect. The one losing the bet had to make the kids' lunches that day. It was - apart from the glass of water - the first thing you did in the morning, and it had never failed to put a smile on your face during those first moments of the day. You felt lips ghost over your hairline, kissing it a few times and then murmuring: "Happy birthday, darling." You closed your eyes, soaking in the last few moments of peaceful rest before it would be replaced by joyful chanting and ringing laughter. Your thumb stroked over the place where his heart lays, and you whispered: "I love you, too.”

[runenc03]

Four

Writing date: around October 2020, I think? Not sure tbh, lol

Genre: fluff

Warnings: no warnings! :)

Word count: 3.1k 

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The first time you saw him with a baby was in the hospital. You were four, nestled in your mum's lap beside your godmother's hospital bed. You watched with big eyes as your godmother gave her second - barely one day old - son to her firstborn, who took his little brother eagerly but gently, making sure to support the baby's head at all times just like his mum had told him to do. You smiled, he suddenly looked so big in comparison to the small baby in his arms.

"They grow up so fast"

That was your mum, complaining to your godmother - her best friend since kindergarten. Your smile morphed into a grin as she put one of her arms around you, rocking you from side to side, as if she was trying to shrink you to match the little baby in your best friend's arms. Needless to say, she failed miserably. You were a big girl after all.

"Tell me about it. They're already going to school! Not that it isn't nice to see them grow up, but, well, I missed having a baby in the house. As hard as it is, it makes me feel so empowered, taking care of such a small miracle..."

Your mum nodded, a nostalgic gleam in her eyes. You smiled too, knowing you'd been that baby for your mum, a long time ago of course. The baby in your best friend's arms started fussing, not quite crying but not as happy as possible either, and you recognised the fleeting panic in your best friend's eyes. It was the same look he'd had when the teacher asked him to show his teddy bear to everyone - you knew he was very protective of his stuffed friend and only wanted to share it with you. Your godmother quickly took the baby from her oldest son's arms, naturally taking him into her arms, and started breast feeding him. Your best friend moved as well, crawling through the hospital sheets to get closer to his little brother once again, placing a kiss on his forehead, as if to say sorry for whatever he'd done wrong.

As you watched the scene in front of you, you heard your mother's 'aww', but your smile faltered a bit. The kissing on the forehead was something exclusively for the two of you, or so you'd thought. Was he going to forget all about you now that he had his own personal playmate at home? Were you going to become just another girl in your class he was scared he'd get cooties from? He'd always assured you that the two of you were an exception to that, claiming it was because your mum was his godmother and vice versa, or something like that.

You decided you'd seen enough for now and wanted to take a nap. Turning your head to the side, you readjusted your head to lay on your mum's chest, closing your eyes and - after checking to make sure no one was paying attention to you - sucking on your thumb before slowly falling asleep.

You weren't sure how much time had passed since you fell asleep, but when you woke up, your godmother was asleep and your own mum was scrolling through her Facebook feed on her phone. You rubbed your eyes, trying to push away the last remnants of sleep in them, and focused on your best friend. He was still sitting cross-legged on the hospital bed, looking every bit as energetic as he did whenever the two of you ate a bit too much sugar. Again, his gaze was turned to the baby, a small smile playing around his lips. You decided with a frown that you still didn't want to talk to him, stubborn as always. You closed your eyes again, pretending to sleep.

"You know, buddy, mummy says you'll have to learn to walk first, but as soon as you can, I want to take you with us on our adventures. 'Us' is my best friend and I. She's sitting here as well, you see? Our mum is best friends with her mum, just like I'm best friends with her. She's my best friend though, so you can't be her best friend, I'm sorry, but you can play with us! She's the best in playing tag, oh and also in telling stories! You should ask her to tell you a story sometime. Mum also told me it'll take a while for you to be able to speak, but I can ask her for you if you want to..."

And as much as you tried to fake being asleep, your smile won.

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The second time you saw him with a baby was on an indoor ice skating rink.

Okay true, he wasn't holding a baby, but you were both sixteen and he had grown so tall over the years that everyone looked like a baby in comparison to him. You were no exception to that by the way, but you'd never admit that in his presence. About a year ago, your town had decided they wanted to present themselves as a place where all children could grow up in peace while having fun, and so they came up with the idea to organise little holidays for kids. Your best friend had instantly loved the town upon learning that they still needed young adults to go with the kids as supervisors. He'd bugged you for weeks, claiming it would look just as good on your resume as any other thing you, as a responsible teen, had planned to do during the holidays, and so you found yourself living the first day of said holiday, on an ice rink, surrounded by exactly 19 kids, a dumb grin on your face because you were having way more fun than you originally anticipated.

You were shaken out of your stupor by a little girl tugging at your gloved hand to get your attention. She pointed towards the large clock hanging above the ice rink, and you were reminded of your promise to buy everyone a hot chocolate at 4 pm. Your best friend had shaken his head a little, trying to let you know that you were an idiot for giving kids hot chocolate in summer, but you'd just shrugged your shoulders, a provocative smile around your lips.

"Just because you had to vomit that one time we each drank an entire bottle when we were 8, doesn't mean it's a safety risk for every child."

You took the girl's hand with one of your own and whistled to let all the kids know you were taking a break from skating. The result was 18 kids bolting to the door of the cafe connected to the ice rink. 18 kids, your entire group except for one. You turned around after counting them, looking to see where your last kid had gone to. They were normally all very quick to gather around you upon hearing your whistle.

"Don't worry, we're coming!"

That was your best friend of course, yelling from the other side of the ice rink. You noticed suddenly that this was the first time you'd actually seen him interacting with one of the kids today. Before, you'd been so busy learning names by heart and organising everything that you hadn't paid attention to how good he actually was with them. You felt a weird move in your stomach, like a tingle quickly shooting through it, but you decided to ignore that.

The 19th kid out of your group - her name was Alicia - couldn't ice skate. Her posture was awkward, her legs wobbly, her face the same as yours that one time your best friend had convinced you to go on a rollercoaster with 4 consecutive loops. You honestly felt sorry for her, although you expected that the panicky look in her eyes would soon be gone because you thought your best friend would just pick Alicia up, she probably didn't weight more than the ice skates themselves.

You raised a brow when he crouched down to whisper something in her ear instead of carrying her to the other side of the rink. You watched intently, seeing a small smile slip onto Alicia's face, her hand grasping onto his as firmly as she could. And then, very tentatively, she let her right foot glide forward. Then her left, and the right one another time. Her smile broadened, before quickly slipping away because she started swaying on her feet again. Your best friend immediately reacted though, steadying her on her feet and saying something that sounded a lot like "don't give up!"

You suddenly knew what you had to do. You started yelling to Alicia, clapping in your hands, sending encouraging words her way, and soon all the other kids followed, cheering on their friend. The closer Alicia got to the group, the bigger both the sound echoing in the rink and the smile on her face.

Once Alicia reached the other kids, she got tackled into a group hug, and your heart warmed at the sight. This was only day one and they were already such a close-knit group.

A soft hand on your shoulder and a warm breath on your ear made you focus again.

"I believe someone deserves some hot chocolate."

You were about to rub in his face that your idea had been brilliant, but the words were stuck in your throat when you finally looked at him.

"You are brilliant."

His eyes twinkled, and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop the heat from residing in your cheeks for the rest of the day.

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The third time you saw him with a baby was in your neighbor's house. In this case, you had just turned 20 and the baby was more of a toddler, but you didn't want to ponder the details: it was cute.

You were actually supposed to be studying for your exams, but your best friend had asked you if he could come study with you, and foolishly you had agreed, convincing yourself you'd be able to motivate each other. What started as a study session transformed into a pillow fight, and, when your neighbour called you to ask if you could come over to look after her toddler, it ended up being a babysit date.

You looked at the clock above the fireplace, already getting a headache at the prospect of having to study all night in order to keep up with the schedule you had sworn to follow. If it had been up to you, you would've just been honest with your neighbour. She liked you a lot and wouldn't have minded if you'd just honestly told her that you were in the middle of your exams. Your best friend, however, had immediately agreed to babysit, telling your neighbour that the two of you would take good care of her baby. Truth be told, the woman's relief had been visible on her face, and it did make you feel good to take care of someone else.

"Hey buddy, it's getting late, and your mummy told us to get you in bed on time. What about this: we go get you ready for bed now and if you're quick enough, I'll read you a bedtime story. How does that sound?"

You watched your best friend almost being knocked down by the eager boy. As the toddler ran to the bathroom on his chubby legs, your best friend threw his head back in laughter, dimples in his cheeks. Your stomach did something strange, as it usually did nowadays whenever you were in his presence, but you ignored it. You had to focus on the little one now, you could dwell on your emotions later on.

Your best friend's strategy worked. Within a quarter of an hour, you'd managed to put on the little boy's pyjamas, brush his teeth, go to the toilet with him, and get him into his bed. You tucked him in, making sure all his stuffed animals were in the right place as you did so, and giving him a kiss on his forehead.

"Are you reading a story for me?"

You chuckled, and you heard a lower voice behind you match yours. He came up to you and your young neighbour then, a gigantic book in one of his hands. You swiftly noticed the veins on his under arm, and turned your head, forcing yourself not to get distracted. You weren't even together for God's sake, you should actually be able to keep yourself in check.

"Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away from here, there was a dinosaur called Inky. He was the most beautiful dinosaur you could ever imagine, with big, blue eyes, green skin and two gigantic wings. Inky ..."

Your eyes took in the scene in front of you, your small neighbour watching your best friend intently, eyes wide with wonder, sometimes giggling a bit when the story was particularly funny or when the narrator imitated Inky the dinosaur.

By the time Inky's adventure was over, the toddler had already fallen asleep, his breathing evening out, a content look on his face. Making as little sound as possible, you both tiptoed out of the door, keeping it ajar in case the little one wanted to come to you.

As you sat down on your neighbour's couch, your best friend wrapped an arm around you, and you leaned into him. You didn't say anything, it wasn't necessary. A new episode of peppa pig started on tv, and you stared up at him. His eyes stared back, full of unspoken promises.

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The fourth time you saw your best friend with a baby was in your own house. Today was actually supposed to be all about your 25th birthday, but your party had ended up being about something entirely different, although you wouldn't have traded the day for something else even if you could have. You had started the day off together by preparing some snacks for your guests, but those preparations had quickly come to a halt as you'd gotten a call from the adoption agency, stating that some things had shifted rapidly, resulting in you being able to bring home your baby that exact day. If everything would go smoothly, the baby would be officially your child within a few weeks to months. As exciting as the day had been, it had also been tremendously exhausting, and so that's how you found yourself waking up from your slumber on the couch, your watch telling you it was only 9 pm. Embarrassingly early. When you let your eyes travel further than your own wrist, the first thing your vision fell on was the mass of congratulations cards scattered on the table. Oh, how people had probably stressed themselves out, trying to find a different kind of congratulations card last minute. You grinned, a warm feeling you could only identify as true happiness spreading in your chest.

A gurgling sound made you look to the left, your smile unfolding completely now. Sitting in the armchair was your best friend, holding a baby with dark, curly hair in his arms. The baby was staring at her dad with big eyes, as if trying to drink in as many details as possible, learning every crinkle and dimple by heart.

She was claiming him as her dad.

Your best friend didn't need to look away from his daughter to know you had woken up. He simply brought one hand to the baby's stomach, slightly tickling her there, and her small gurgling sounds intensified, her legs wiggling as if trying to get away, but not having enough strength yet.

"Look darling, mummy is awake. Now I need to share you again."

His face morphed into a fake pout, and the baby, your baby, stopped her gurgling, trying to figure out why her dad suddenly wasn't smiling anymore. Too late, your best friend realised his mistake, but his attempt to cheer her up again was to no avail, she started fussing, and even though you'd never done this and she had come way sooner than you had anticipated, you knew that that wasn't a good sign.

"Give me my daughter please, I missed her."

Your best friend handed her to you, and you gently bounced her in your arms, kissing her little forehead. Instead of going back to sit on the couch, you went to your dinner table, now morphed into a congratulations card holder. You sat down on one of the chairs, turning your daughter around so she had a good view of the table herself.

"You see that sweetie? All for you, all those people already love you! Isn't that nice?"

You traced her cheek with your finger, and she grabbed onto it with her fist. You observed how both of your skin colours contrasted. Though that was only a coincidence seeing as children of all skin colours got adopted, you loved it, loved the variety of it. While your skin might not match your daughter's in colour, it matched in beauty.

On the other side of the room, soft snores were coming from your best friend's lips. That's right. After all these years, he was still your best friend. Not just your best friend, but not more than your best friend either. To you, he had always been a special someone, you had always loved him, from the day he had been your friend in kindergarten to your partner and the father of your child now.

At the end of the day, those names were only labels, a way for society to put feelings into boxes. The thing is, feelings aren't made to be put into boxes. Love is love, and there are different kinds of love, yes, but one isn't necessarily less important than another. You loved that man just as much now as you had as a toddler, the feelings had just evolved, you had moved several boxes, and now fit into 'family'. Or maybe not entirely, your skin colours didn't all match, after all.

You grinned. Your daughter would grow up knowing the concept of love. Not in boxes, but in all its beautiful, overflowing, free glory.

[runenc03]

Total eclipse

Writing date: August 2020

Genre: fluff? lol

Warnings: none 

Word count: 790

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He was the moon.

Often overlooked, unnoticed, hidden in a crowd of stars screaming for attention. It had been this way for as long as he could remember, and he was okay with it. He didn't want to burn up in order for someone to fix their gaze onto him, he was perfectly content in his own, calm, silent way. He had, however, always admired her, the sun. To him, it looked like she didn't even try to get everyone to focus on her. She was simply there, glowing, glorious and bright, too hot to touch but tempting anyway. He couldn't help but notice her, her smile blinding him, her laugh heating him up from the inside. He never dared coming closer though, afraid of how bright she was in comparison to him. If he came too close and she wouldn't notice him, he'd want to sink and disappear into his own craters. He sometimes tried though, knowing full well that he could only be complete when he was closest to her and feeling himself get dimmer, smaller, every time he retreated from her. Still, he would watch her, fierce and independent and invincible, from a safe distance, taking her in in all her fiery, ethereal glory. The moon sighed, and, closing his eyes, basked in the warmth the sun radiated.

She was the sun.

So luminescent she lit up every constellation around her, never noticing that that was her doing, too busy keeping the world turning. What she did notice, was him, the moon. He never came too close, always keeping his distance, but not in a cold way. If anything, she liked how he was discreet, mysterious, even. She wanted to get to know him, but didn't dare to come closer, afraid her scorching heat would be too much, too soon. She could watch him for hours, her flames heating up everyone around her, but her mind elsewhere, time and time going back to him, the moon, with his peaceful aura and silvery complexion. She sighed. It would never work, she was too much, too hot, too bright. The sun closed her eyes, longing for a moment in time in which she could rest her fiery fingers on the moon's smooth surface.

Then, one day, the sun and moon crossed paths. It was brief, and they were completely surrounded by other constellations, but the moon finally dared to come closer, and the sun happily let him. They danced around - and, eventually, with - each other, coming closer and closer, testing the waters, until finally, the sun dared to engulf the moon in her flames. It was a sizzling kind of sensation, one neither of them would forget soon, but it felt fitting, two opposites so close to each other, so connected at the surface and in their minds.

It wasn't long before the sun became his sun, and the moon in return, her moon.

And how they complemented each other. No one could have seen it coming, but it worked perfectly. The moon was finally glowing, gratefully showering himself in the sun's flames in order to show his own true colours. He got noticed now, but he really wasn't interested in the newfound attention. For him, the sun was all he would ever want to be warmed up by. Some would say that the sun did all the work, because she was the one giving away her warmth, but anyone who cared to look closer could see that there was something different in the way that the sun carried herself. She still shone just as brightly as before, but her flames now danced instead of burning, a kaleidoscope of colours instead of a searing white. The moon was at the centre of that change. Every once in a while, when the sun risked getting burned by her own heat, the moon served as a mirror, showing her how bright she was and that it was okay to save some of that intensity for another moment. For her, someone so ever-busy and constantly moving, morphing into other versions of herself, the moon was home, peaceful, steady, always there for her, always the same, his coolness comforting her in a way no other constellation had ever been able to.

In time, all the constellations would see that the moon didn't glow until he met his sun, but once he did, he basked in her light. And the sun? She didn't need to lose her warmth in order for the moon to glow. They simply shared from that moment on, lifting each other up, two bright dots, forever.

[runenc03]

Picture perfect

Writing date: December 2020

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: none :)

Word count: 842 

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When people asked your husband, a photographer, to show them his favourite picture, they never saw what they expected.

It was a picture he'd taken on an idle afternoon in early January. He'd just come home from the only shoot he had scheduled that day, closing the door behind him with a soft click and absorbing the view in front of him.

You were standing in your kitchen, your youngest baby resting on your left hip while her older brother was seated on the kitchen counter. You were humming a soothing melody, either for yourself or for your kids, he didn't know, and mixing some things in a bowl. All around you, there were used spoons, opened packages of flour and sugar, a few cracked egg shells on a paper towel and an already-greased baking tin. The sunlight streamed through the windows and bathed the entire room in a golden colour, a sharp contrast with the woolly white layer of snow that covered the landscape outside.

You turned around when you heard his greeting, a warm smile playing around your lips, taking a few strides out of the kitchen and kissing his cheek. He returned your kiss, kissed the bouncing baby on your hip, and then, crouching down, bestowed a final feathery kiss to your protruding stomach.

"Daddy, we're baking auntie's lemon bars!"

From the corner of your eye, you saw your oldest son trying to hide his dough-covered fingers when he realised he had just turned the attention of both his parents on him. You decided not to comment on it for now — it's not like you hadn't been the same way up until you were forced to set a good example.

Your husband walked to your son, giving him a kiss in his unruly hair and asking him how the dough tasted, and you suppressed the urge to roll your eyes.

"Is my tummy going to hurt now, daddy?"

He was whispering it, as if trying to make sure at least one of his parents wouldn't know about his little adventure.

You watched as your husband's eyes glinted mischievously.

"If you only ate a little, no, but there is a chance that there's a lemon tree growing in your belly now."

Your son tilted his head to the side, and you were surprised at how he was curious, rather than scared.

"So...just like there's a baby in mummy's belly, there's a lemon tree growing in mine now?”

He had pulled up his shirt now, pointing at it with a finger on his other hand to make sure his dad knew what he was talking about.

You felt your daughter mimic her brother, something she'd started doing more and more these last few months, and you let out a chuckle, catching the attention of your husband.

You saw it happening, the change in his face, his eyes becoming just a little brighter, the right corner of his mouth climbing upwards, his fingers already taking on their familiar position on the camera that was still hanging around his neck.

"Darling, can you come sit on the counter too, please?”

You did as he had asked, already used to moments like this. It'd make him really happy, you knew, and you often ended up with a really nice picture that you could hang alongside all the other pictures that covered the walls of your home. Carefully, you put your daughter on the counter next to her brother, before hopping on it too.

"Okay, now all show me your bellies! One—“

And that was when the chaos occurred. It started with the kitchen timer going off, telling you it was ready for the shortbread dough, but also startling your daughter, and making your son realise that no one would notice him swirling his finger just a little too enthusiastically into the batter, which caused the unfilled baking tin to clatter onto the ground.

Your husband did, however, manage to take exactly one picture before your daughter started crying, not yet used to the shrill sound of the kitchen timer, or the crash of the tin on the floor.

When people asked your husband, a photographer, to show them his favourite picture, they never saw what they expected.

The background was filled with all sorts of baking necessities, your son was staring with heart-shaped eyes to the batter that was out of frame, your daughter was staring up at you with wide eyes, treading the fine line between crying and laughing, and you were clearly about to hop off of the counter to try to calm down the chaos. It wasn't a picture-perfect, but the love it contained was somehow more tangible than in any other photo he had ever taken, and because of that, it would forever remain his favourite.

[runenc03]

Back to me

Writing date: June 2020

Genre: fluff

Warnings: crazy paparazzi? Lol

Word count: 2.8k 

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You sighed in relief as soon as the fresh night wind hit your face, replacing the thick, musty air inside the building you just got out of. You exhaled, fog momentarily clouding your vision. It made you smile. As a child, you'd always imagined being a baby dragon who couldn't spew fire yet, but instead spit smoke. You sometimes wished to return to the simplicity your life held back then.

A fraction of the buzzing from inside managed to find its way outside, but it was faint, and therefore much more bearable for your eardrums.

Still, you knew you should be inside right now, yelling along with the crowd, head over heels in love with the lead singer, like every other girl, or boy, in there. You knew, however, that being inside just wasn't an option right now. You had tried, for him, but the loud noise was too much for your head, and the lyrics were not sung, but screamed by the singer, too much for your heart.

Carefully, considering you were wearing your only pair of heels right now, you started to walk alongside the wall, breathing in deeply, letting the wind wrap itself around your body. But the more physical distance you created between you and the stage, the more your thoughts seemed to focus on that same stage, and the singer on it.

From an outside perspective, he was everything you would expect from an ideal guy, 'boyfriend material', they'd say, and you saw all of that too, but he wasn't right for you, not in the beginning, and not now.

'The beginning' had taken place around 7 months ago. He had been your new classmate. Whispers had filled the classroom as soon as his famous face had been visible, and all the girls in your class had been jealous of you when the teacher put him next to you. You, however, had grimaced as discreetly as you could, not really keen on giving up your extra space. The jealousy of the other girls had only continued as the two of you constantly got paired for partner assignments. You would rather work on your own than having to compromise with someone else though.

For some reason however, he seemed to have a special interest in you. The interest wasn't genuine and you knew it, but you couldn't turn him, nor the attention he offered you, down. Not because he was irresistible, no, you knew for sure that you'd rather be alone than with him. It was the icy tone behind his charming words, the cold eyes above his broad smile, that made you unable to say no to him. You were scared.

What started as being classmates, ended up in many more labels. Friends, some would say. Lovers, others would gossip.

The truth was much more complicated. The truth was that you didn't really know what to think of the two of you, only that you felt an immense amount of pressure from the outside world to finally get together.

'What do you actually want? He's perfect! If you don't claim him soon enough, he's going to be gone, he won't wait forever. And then that's your loss. Stop being so picky!'

You had lost count of the number of times someone had felt the need to tell you something along those lines. It made you panic, made you feel restricted, invisible claws pinching your throat closed. You didn't know exactly what you wanted from a romantic relationship, all you knew was that he couldn't give it to you. True, he was perfect to the outside world, society, but you knew better. You had soon picked up on the small things, like how he always divided the work of partner assignments and made you do the harder part, or how he treated all girls with an equal, but fake kind of chivalry.

Soon, making duo assignments 'together' had turned into you writing the songs for his band while he claimed them as his own, you taking the pictures he posted on his Instagram, you writing back nice letters to his fans after they had sent him fan mail.

You couldn't do it anymore. Dealing with all the pressure from the outside world, combined with his behaviour towards you...it was too much. You felt trapped in between two walls, getting closer and closer towards each other, waiting until they would finally be close enough to pulverise you.

Suddenly, your eyes and ears started registering flashes. You looked to the left, your eyes quickly scanning the area, looking for the person who was taking pictures of you. When you found them, you gasped. At least 4 photographers were sitting behind a car, hastily taking as many pictures of you as they could.

You rapidly looked the other way again, continuing your walk at a faster pace. It had never been this bad. True, his band had been known before he became your classmate, but he had only really blown up when he began to release the songs you had written. He had started homeschooling as well, not being able to go to school anymore without being followed like this. It worked for him, but you still had difficulties with the press, considering you were often spotted together. This wasn't the first time pictures had been taken from you, but it had never been in a situation like this, with you feeling overwhelmed, at night, alone and in the dark. You didn't want to be seen like this, not by the photographers and not by every other person in the country who bought a magazine the next morning. All you wanted was to get away from these people as fast as possible.

So you ran.

You ditched your heels altogether, never having been keen on shoes anyway, and started to run as fast as you could. You ran through the city centre, turned left, and right, and left again, until you were completely disoriented, stranded in a local park, bright yellow lights the only thing to make you see something. The photographers, however, were still chasing you. You faltered for a second, hands on your knees, your breath being completely knocked out of you. You mentally noted that you should start working on your stamina. You knew the only reason you were ahead of the press was because you didn't have to carry those heavy cameras.

"Hey, come here, quickly, I'll help you."

You looked up again, only now noticing a figure sitting on the bench, about 12 feet away from you. You walked in the person's direction, and upon further inspection, you saw it was a guy, probably around your age. He was wearing a jacket with a hoodie underneath, a guitar was balanced on his lap. The guy smiled at you when he heard you come closer. Before you even had the chance to say something, he pulled something out of his pocket and threw it in your direction. Out of instinct, you caught it. The material felt cold in your hands, and so it took you a second to realise he had given you keys.

"My bike is in the grass, there. You can take it and bike away, so that you're faster than the press."

You looked in the direction his arm indicated, and indeed saw a bike thrown against one of the light poles. You were astonished.

"Why do you trust me? How do you know I won't just steal your bike?"

He only smiled knowingly, not really giving you an answer.

"I have a feeling you'll come back to me."

---------------------------------------------------------------

He had been right. Of course you came back. How could you not? First of all, you were not the type of person to do anything mean, let alone illegal, and second, you hadn't been able to get the kind boy out of your head throughout the entire process of escaping those photographers. It had taken you a while, true, but you had managed to get rid of all of them. Now was the time to bring the bike back to its rightful owner.

Leaves rustled as you entered the park the boy had been sitting in, and the chaos in your head only intensified because of it. Questions swirled through your mind, why he had trusted you, what he had been doing there so late at night, who he even was.

You spotted his figure, hood over his head, slightly leaning forward. You stepped off of the bike and slowly started walking next to it, trying to buy some time, your shyness suddenly coming in full force. How should you approach him? What did you say to a stranger who had loaned you his bike in the middle of the night?

You noticed you had stopped walking altogether because the spikes of the bike were silent, making it possible for you to hear the gentle strumming of a guitar - a guitar he was playing right now.

Your feet decided for themselves to start moving. He only noticed you when your shadow towered over him, blocking the artificial light coming out of the lamp posts from reaching his fingers on the guitar. He looked up, smiling. The artificial lighting didn't illuminate his features at all, but you were still happy to have a better look at his face. And what a face it was.

"Hi there. I see you've found your way back to me. Did they follow you for a long time, or were you just lost?"

His teasing tone made you grin, questions still on your mind, but the chaos gone now.

"A combination of both, I guess. Thank you, really, I don't know what I would've done without your bike."

And then, to change the topic:

"What were you playing?"

"Recuerdos de la alhambra"

"How can you play that piece by heart? I've been practising for months and I still can't get it completely right. And that's with sheet music."

He looked up from his guitar and to your face for longer than absolutely necessary for the first time since you'd come back to him. When you looked into his eyes, you knew his lack of eye contact before hadn't been because you bored him, but because he'd been shy. What had changed now was that his curiosity had won, while the shyness had lost. Your heart fluttered without your permission at the realisation, and suddenly, you were the one having difficulties upholding that eye contact.

"I've always felt like sheets hinder me while I'm playing. It's like I'm too busy trying to decipher the notes on the sheet that I can't actually make music anymore, you know? Anyway, that's not what I where I was going to. Did you just hint that you play the guitar too?"

Your shyness had definitely taken over now. Why had you told him you played?

"A little bit, I'm definitely not as good as you are, I taught myself."

"Okay but that only makes it more impressive. Do you want to play?"

He held his guitar out to you, but you shook your head. You barely dared playing in front of your friends, let alone a stranger. Then, a thought struck you, and the giddy feeling inside you numbed.

"Is this the part where you're going to force me to play guitar, or do something else I'm uncomfortable with, because you let me use your bike?"

His face fell a bit, a worried expression now taking over the smile. The giddy feelings inside you numbed even further now his smile wasn't visible anymore.

"No, no of course not, I honestly just wanted to do something good, and you just needed help in that moment. I'm nothing like that, I'd never ask you for something unreasonable in return for giving you the help you needed, but didn't even ask for. I'm sorry if I came across that way, I should've realised I'm a stranger to you. You couldn't have known my intentions were solely to help you out."

You had seen your fair share of false remorse throughout your life, and so you knew from the tone of his voice and the look on his face that his wasn't false. An immediate punch of guilt attacked your stomach, this wonderful guy had helped you, and you came and doubted his intentions, just because he offered you his guitar. You seriously should work on keeping your fears under control. Carefully, you parked his bike against the lamp post and went to sit on the other end of the bench.

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to doubt you or anything. I should keep my fears under control."

He looked at you again, eyes widened at the fact that you suddenly sat next to him, even if there was still over a foot of space between you.

"You mean, your fear of playing?"

You nodded your head, feeling the heat rushing to your cheeks.

"Yeah, I don't know how you do it. I mean there's no need to be insecure, obviously, but where did you learn to play this well? I've never found a good guitar teacher around here. Then again, where are you from? What's even your name? Or am I asking too much now?"

The mysterious smile was back on his face, and you felt your own smile promptly match his.

"Well, to each their secrets, I guess. You don't want to let me enjoy your musical talent, what makes you think I'd want to share what my name is?"

You could tell he was only teasing you. There was a twinkle in his eye when he looked at you, and you couldn't help but think you'd never been as intrigued by a pair of eyes before.

Suddenly, you had an idea.

"Okay, you've convinced me. Let's play a game. For every song I play for you, you have to answer a question, and vice versa."

"So, like an advanced, musical version of twenty questions?"

"You've got it. You can start with a question while I mentally prepare myself to play the next song."

He played a few random chords before silencing the strings, looking you in the eye. For the first time that night, you noticed the dimples gracing his cheeks. You thought they were cute.

"Okay, first question: what's your favourite song?"

You knew where this was going to, so you told him your favourite song. You even told him the story of why it was your favourite, something that surprised both him and yourself.

And so he started playing. At this point, you weren't even surprised he knew the correct chords right off the bat. You closed your eyes, taking in the gentle strumming of the guitar next to you, allowing yourself to finally completely relax.

And then, when the second verse was about to start:

"Do you want to sing?"

You couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was that made you cave in, maybe it was his smile, or the fact that he hadn't added 'for me' to his question, but you started humming along. Shy at first, not used to singing in anyone's presence but your own. The humming gradually morphed into singing actual words, and when you dared opening your eyes again, you saw that his smile had only broadened, his eyes closed now, fingers dancing across the strings of his guitar.

This is how you spent your entire night, sitting on a bench, with a guy you didn't properly know yet, humming famous and self invented melodies, bonding over smiles and chords.

You hadn't realised it yet, but somewhere during this night, the foundation had been set to eventually fall in love with this beautiful stranger.

He would end up being your first -and last- true, romantic love, and you were going to be forever grateful that you decided that night to come back to him.

[runenc03]

HH - epilogue (part 8)

Writing date: February 2020 

Genre: fluff

Warnings: I can’t think of anything to warn you about. This being the last chapter? Lol, congratulations for reading through it haha

Word count: 6k

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 months later...

Kaycee had rarely felt this nervous. A glistening layer of sweat covered her whole body, and while part of that was undoubtedly caused by the Australian heat, she knew that the current situation she was in had to do with it as well.

Hermione glanced towards her, and Kaycee nodded, signaling that she could lift up the spell, and bring their family back to the truth, back to them.

Hermione turned around once more, facing their parents, Kylie and Devon, there in the small house they owned. Kaycee had to admit that Hermione had done a good job with their fake living arrangements, about a year ago. She was grateful now, for all the work her sister had put into this. Kaycee hadn't wanted to do anything related to this, claiming that her sister was better in these intricate kind of spells, and now that she could see with her own eyes what it had been like for her family, she knew for sure that letting Hermione handle this had been a good idea.

"Reminisce"

The effect was immediate. Streams of light blue sparks flew out of her sister's wand and started circling around her other family members, who stood still, pupils dilated, a crazy look in their eyes. This lasted for about 20 seconds, until Hermione's wand seemed to stop producing the blue stuff, and Hermione put her wand down, a movement which made their family member's eyes immediately return back to their normal state.

Kaycee started to fidget, desperately wishing she'd stop sweating so excessively. While she wiped her hands on her shorts, she briefly wondered who would notice the small, but elegant ring on her left ring finger first. More importantly, she worried about what her parents would think of it on top of all the things that had happened. In the Wizarding World, getting engaged at a young age wasn't rare at all, but in the Muggle world, not even being 18 and already getting ready to marry someone was unheard of, and she doubted her and Sean's decision to stay engaged at least 2 years before actually getting married would help in them accepting this. She just hoped they would be happy for her.

"My-my girls..."

It was her mum, and she was immediately shook out of her worries upon hearing her voice again. It was a sound she hadn't prepared for enough. Actually, coming here, she'd prepared herself for yelling, fights, feeling guilty for agreeing with Hermione, apologising. She hadn't prepared at all for her mum's wobbly voice, the sight of her, her tears already running over her cheeks, her skin several shades darker than it used to be. Then, she was swept into a hug, and she could only close her eyes, soaking in the love she currently felt, a love only felt between a daughter and her mother, an unconditional kind of love.

"Mum...how much do you know?"

Kaycee cringed as soon as Hermione spoke the words she'd been dreading to say herself. She didn't want to leave her mother's arms, didn't want to have to face the truth. It was, however, inevitable, and Kaycee knew that they didn't have the right to keep the truth from them any longer.

"Uhm....well, I-I'm not...I'm...Laura Granger..."

Kaycee could see her sister's eyes light up, excited since it seemed like her spell had been correct.

"What more do you remember? Do you know why you're here, mum? Or why Hermione and I weren't?"

Her mum's excitement upon seeing her 2 newfound daughters seemed to come to halt as soon as Kaycee started asking questions, and Kaycee already folded her hands behind her back. That would come later.

"I...I don't know. Why don't I know? Devon, you're good at remembering things, why....why are we here? God it feels weird to ask that question. It feels weird to call you Devon."

It was definitely time for them to sit down. As soon as she thought those words, Hermione said them out loud, and Kaycee had to smile, reminded that she wasn't alone in this mess. They all took a seat at the big, mahogany wooden table that stood in the middle of the living room. As soon as she was seated opposite her brother and next to Hermione, she felt someone take her left hand underneath the table, lightly rubbing her ring finger. Sean. To be honest, she'd forgotten he and Ron were here as well, so wrapped up in her own fears regarding the reveal of everything that had happened to her family.

She smiled again when she felt him slip his fingers in between her ones, a silent reminder that he would always be by her side.

Then, Hermione started.

"Mum, dad, Kylie, Devon....we're here today to let you catch up on a lot of things that have happened in the wizarding world this past year. You were here, in Australia, and not in the UK because....because I enchanted you all."

She stopped there, and Kaycee only realised now that this wasn't only hard for her, but for Hermione as well. She was the one who cast both spells, who arranged their new life, who was most responsible. To her surprise, their parents and siblings didn't immediately start yelling. They were actually very calm, her dad quirking an eyebrow, her mum and Kylie slightly tilting their head to one side, interested, and Devon looking like he had already expected this and was merely irritated because it happened.

"So.....why?"

It was their dad, and Kaycee couldn't help but sigh in relief when she heard his voice again for the first time. It was steady, and low, a sign of him feeling like he was responsible for them all, like he needed to protect them. She decided to give Hermione some rest, and answered her dad.

"You see, we told you about Voldemort, the bad wizard, returning, didn't we?"

Her family nodded, and Kaycee thanked Merlin for their open mindedness. They had never acted weirdly towards her and Hermione, had always been open to the idea of magic. Her parents even read the daily prophet to know more about what was going on in their part of the world, and Kaycee knew it was going to come in handy now.

"Well, without going into detail, he had basically made himself immortal by putting mental pieces of himself in certain objects. To put it simply: he couldn't die as long as those objects weren't destroyed. Our mission this last year has been to get rid of all those objects, and make Voldemort mortal again, so he could be killed. And we did it, dad, I know it's probably hard to understand, but we put a spell on you to make sure Voldemort wouldn't use you to get to us. We were able to lift it a few minutes ago because we defeated Voldemort. The wizarding world is free again, there's no more danger or hiding. We're free."

It was Kylie who had the strongest reaction now, abruptly standing up and hugging both Kaycee and Hermione, immediately followed by demanding them to tell her every single detail of the past year.

So they did. They all took turns in telling a part of the story, not leaving anything out, not the cruel parts -'Mione....won't the word ever disappear?'-, not the dangerous moments -'so you actually walked around with a part of Voldemort around your neck?'- and definitely not the good memories -So you just kissed him there in the woods? I thought you'd like a bit more class, Mione' In a way, Kaycee mused, this year had brought them a lot of good things as well. Ron and Hermione had found each other, the government now put a lot of effort in making sure every member of the Wizarding World got treated equally, and of course her engagement was the best part of the year.

It was hours later when someone finally noticed. She'd gone to the kitchen with Devon to make tea for all of them since it had become late and her mum's craving for orange tea had only been intensified by the fact that she hadn't had a cup in a year. While she was waving her wand to fill the cups with hot water, she saw Devon's eyes widen upon seeing her move her hand. He didn't say anything though, and while Kaycee wanted nothing more than to talk with him about it, she was also scared he'd throw a fit and alert the rest of the family before she had a chance to explain for herself.

When Devon wordlessly took 2 cups and brought them to the living room, Kaycee hurriedly enchanted the tea cups to follow her out of the kitchen. And then, she stopped in the doorway, rooted to her place by the sight of Devon placing a tea cup in front of Sean and murmuring something that sounded a lot like 'I trust you to take good care of her. Congratulations'.

And she was suddenly reminded of why they fought for a world like this.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- 2 years later

"Does your wife get like that too?"

Neville and Sean were sitting in the small kitchen of Nevilla and Luna's house, drinking butterbeer and watching Luna waltz through the room, her belly getting bigger every time Sean saw her.

"She's not my wife yet, remember? Also, I have no clue what you're talking about."

Sean said it with a chuckle, he knew perfectly well what Neville was going on about, he just liked innocently irritating him. Somehow it always brought out the confident side of his friend, and Sean liked seeing the emotional progress he'd made since they were both in their early Hogwarts years.

"Just, getting obsessed with the most random things! Muggle Pride parades, why does she want to walk in one so suddenly?"

"You know you won't be able to stop her, mate. In fact, I'm pretty sure you don't want to stop her. Luna wouldn't truly be Luna if she didn't have these random obsessions, and you and I both know you wouldn't love her as much if she wasn't such a pure, unapologetic version of herself."

Neville could only shrug in response, silently agreeing with Sean. He took another sip of his butterbeer, and Sean decided to follow his example.

"Honey, are you ready to side-apparate me? You promised you'd do that for m- Oh hi Sean! How nice to see you here, although you have terrible timing. I'm so sorry, but we've really got to go now, Neville and I are walking in a Muggle Pride parade today! It took some time for me to convince him, but in the end he realised that it is really important to show our support to the muggle LGBTQ+ community. It's a true shame we don't have something like that in the Wizarding World yet, but I'm planning on writing something about it in the Quibbler, so-"

"Darling, Sean is a Muggle-born, remember?"

Sean couldn't help but grin, he had indeed known about the LGBTQ+ community for a long time now, but it was still funny to see how passionate Luna was about it. The fact that she hadn't noticed him entering the house at least half an hour ago, made it all the more hilarious.

"Oh, yes, how could I forget! Well, we really must be going now. Tell Kaycee I look forward to going wedding dress shopping tomorrow, Sean. Neville?"

She looked at him expectantly, but didn't seem to notice the dread on Neville's face. For a split second, Sean wondered if he was against everything that had to do with LGBTQ+, but he soon discarded that thought. Neville would never be against something that represented acceptance.

"Luna, are you sure you want to go today? It could get tiring, and your feet are going to ache so much more, and then we're not even speaking about the noise! Are you sure the baby will be fine as well?"

Luna smiled, lighthearted, and Sean realised that she had been glowing even more since she got pregnant.

"I read somewhere that sound is good for the baby, and the atmosphere is just going to be so inspiring there, I can't imagine something like that being bad for our little one. Now come on, we're late already! I want to get the full experience, from beginning to end!"

Neville sighed, but they all knew he was going to apparate Luna to the pride parade. He would do everything for her. Sean decided the whole situation would be less awkward if he went home now.

"I better go bring your message to my fiancée then, Luna. Neville, it was nice catching up again, we should do that more often. I love coming here. There's just something about being so close to hogwarts that reminds me of the magic flowing through my veins. Anyway, I'll see you around. Good luck at the Pride parade!"

And with that, he apparated back home.

Neville would tell everyone about the pride parade for months. He had loved it there, had felt so accepted even though he wasn't a part of the LGBTQ+ community. It was an incredibly wholesome experience, and Neville had vowed to himself that he would never, ever forget the importance of acceptance. And so when, exactly 17 years after that first Pride parade, their oldest son came to his parents and told them with shaking hands and a trembling voice that he was gay, Neville seated himself opposite his son, and started talking.

He told him everything about his own Hogwarts years, all his insecurities, his fears, his loneliness, his fiery desire to really belong somewhere. He would never want his son to go through the same thing.

By the end of their conversation, they both had tears leaking out of their eyes and streaming down their face, but at least Neville had made sure that his son knew that within this family, he wouldn't only be accepted for everything he was. He would be loved for it as well.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- 5 years later

"Hmm...I feel like there's missing something...I don't know what though..."

Sean sighed, looking at the girl who was, after all these years, still his best friend, even if she could irritate him  immensely.

"I just don't get it Hermione, we've been working on this piece for weeks, I feel like we won't be able to do it any better than we do now. Also, Kayc is coming home in 15 minutes, so I suggest we just drink tea or something, before she realises what our birthday present is."

Hermione was already shaking her head, stubborn, and Sean asked himself why he had even agreed to this in the first place. When his wife got home, he just wanted to make her dinner and cuddle on the couch together. He loved Hermione, truly he did, but she could definitely be exhausting sometimes, and right now, he could already feel his eyes close for extended periods of time.

"No, I asked Kaycee to pick up James from kindergarten. I actually promised Harry I'd do that, but then I told Kaycee I wasn't feeling too well and she offered to go get him. Exactly as I had planned."

Harry wanted to ask Hermione why she wanted Kaycee to be home later than usual, but Hermione was faster, continuing her story.

"I think I know what's missing. We need a beat."

Sean frowned. Hermione was acting very strange today. Out of the two of them, she had always been the one who was careful not to change classical pieces too much, to stick to the original. A beat was often something she disliked, she always told him it took the attention away from the actual masterpiece. No, Hermione definitely wasn't one to experiment with music that had already been written.

She swiftly took her wand out of her pocket and started waving with it, and Sean once again questioned why she decided to do the spell nonverbally.

"Okay, done...do you hear it?"

Sean listened carefully, at first not hearing anything because he wasn't trying to, he had assumed the beat would fill up the entire room, but that wasn't the case. Then, very faintly, he heard something, one soft beat immediately followed by another, after which there was a slight pause before it began again.

His eyes shot open, immediately looking at Hermione, finally realising her slightly strange behaviour.

"This is....a heartbeat."

Hermione nodded, but Sean still didn't put the pieces together. His mind was spinning, and he still felt tired of course, but that didn't mean he didn't want to know what this all meant.

Clearly, Hermione had come to the same conclusion after a few seconds, because she turned her body more towards him, taking his hands.

"The heartbeat is my baby's...I'm pregnant, Sean."

Now that was something Sean understood.

His eyes widened, his mouth curling into an open-mouthed smile, and he wrapped his arms around her on instinct, laughing from joy, feeling so, so happy for his best friend.

"You're going to be such a good mum, Mione."

His words were muffled by her curls, but she heard him, and slightly shifted backwards, keeping her arms around him but creating pace between their heads so she could look him in the eye.

"Sean, there's a reason I decided to tell you before all the rest of the family. Well, Ron knows, obviously, and Kaycee was with me when I took the test so she knows as well, but apart from them, you're the only one. I need to ask you something."

Sean nodded without hesitating. She was pregnant, and he'd always thought he would do anything for her, but that thought meant so much more now that she was carrying a baby.

"Of course. Anything."

Hermione smiled, and Sean noted that she truly hadn't looked as happy as she did now in a long time. Her work had been bugging her down, he knew she stressed too much about banal things like deadlines and mistakes in files, and he was so happy that she could finally experience something so wonderful.

"Sean Charles Lew, do you want to the baby's godfather?"

And he hugged her again, allowing the tears to escape his eyes, feeling his heart get filled with love for his godchild.

"I'd be incredibly honoured to."

And he was.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6 years later

"Is she asleep?"

His wife was whispering, afraid of waking up his goddaughter if she was indeed asleep.

Rose.

His eyes stayed glued on her, her rosy cheeks, plump lips, tiny fingers slightly balled into two little fists.

In terms of mesmerising him, his wife had encountered serious competition since Rose came into their lives.

From the moment he had first held her, his entire being overflowing with a love unlike any love he'd felt before, he had felt their connection, knew it was going to be something special.

He turned around, looking at Kaycee, a watery smile undoubtedly on his face. He shook his head, and Kaycee came closer, carefully leaning over the crib and noticing that Rose indeed hadn't gone to sleep yet, slightly moving her little body from left to right, as if to say that she wasn't tired yet. Then, she scooped lower, taking Rose into her arms, gently swaying her into different directions. Rose let out a sleepy giggle.

Sean thought his heart would explode at the sight of them.

Kaycee looked from Rose to him, and a million images of Kaycee holding a dark haired baby in her arms flooded his brain. He tried to shook them out again, never having thought so directly of that, but the images lingered pleasantly in his mind.

"Look, she's asleep now honey."

And Rose was, indeed.

He watched as his wife put his goddaughter into her crib in their guest room, that had actually been turned into a baby room since Rose had been born. Sean had insisted they needed all the baby things for when Rose would sleep over, and Kaycee had agreed without much arguing, turning their guest room into a real baby nursery.

Sean wished the room wasn't empty so many nights.

"Hey, Kayc?"

She looked up from the crib, and her eyes almost held something hopeful, like there was something specific on her mind he wanted her to say.

"Should we....should we maybe start trying for a baby of ourselves? Our own little Rose, but then different? A little niece or nephew she could play with..."

The hope in his wife's eyes transformed into a tear rolling over her cheek, and her smile told Sean all he had to know.

Around a year later, he and Kaycee became parents for the first time. Everyone around them reasoned that that was the start of their life as a family. For Sean, however, the start of their life as a family would always be that one night where he stayed in their guest room, his arms around his wife, looking at Rose and knowing that soon, she wouldn't be the only one sleeping peacefully there.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 20 years later

"Aunt Kaycee?"

The voice sounded small, and unsure of whether or not it was supposed to be heard. Kaycee turned around, surprised when she saw Lily just outside their fireplace, pyjamas on, her arms crossed over her chest in a protective manner.

"What's wrong darling? I thought Samantha was sleeping over at your place?"

She heard her own voice going up in worry, always afraid of one of her children getting hurt. Samantha was a very shy girl though, which was the reason she got along so well with Lily, Lilly was able to let Sam experience adventure and Sam could calm lily down, but her daughter's timid nature had always worried Kaycee a little.

"Sam? No, she's asleep, an apocalypse probably wouldn't be able to wake her up now."

Kaycee grinned, her daughter once again reminding her of her husband. Samantha truly was the female version of her dad.

"Then what are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, I love you a lot, but it's the middle of the night, the only reason I'm awake is because I was choreographing something...what's going on?"

And she knew by the way Lily's facial expression changed that there was indeed a reason the girl had come here.

Lily took a few steps, sitting down on the couch and turning her body towards Kaycee, who was looking expectantly now. The small girl took a deep breath, and started her story.

"Okay. I've been dealing with this for a few months now, and I don't want to go to mum with it because she'll say I'm too young for it and so I thought my godmother would be my best option...are you okay with keeping whatever I'm going to say a secret from all the adults, auntie?"

Kaycee was quick to nod, her heart warming at Lily's words. Just like Sean had always had a unique connection with Rose, she'd had a special bond since the beginning with her own goddaughter as well. And after all these years, Lily still came around to dance with her, still gave her these heartwarming hugs, still called her auntie, even though she wasn't actually family by blood.

"Okay so...you know I used to go to Auntie Luna and Uncle Neville a lot, don't you? Well, I used to go because I liked playing with Fleur and listening to Auntie Luna's stories about animals, but now..."

Kaycee's eyebrows furrowed, she'd be surprised if this turned out to be a problem between Lily and Fleur, Luna and Neville's oldest daughter. The 2 girls had been inseparable ever since they were old enough to crawl. Luna had always claimed it was the second reason she had named her daughter Fleur, because it was, just like Lily, a flower, and the girls were destined to be friends if they were both named after flowers. The first reason was of course to honour the woman who had saved her life. Kaycee still remembered the tears that had poured over her face the night she heard Fleur's name for the first time.

"And now...you don't like to do things with Fleur anymore? I thought you two were still very close.."

Lily's eyes widened, and she was quick to reassure Kaycee the friendship was still going strong.

"No it's not that all! I love Fleur! It's just that now, she's not the only one I love anymore...or at least I don't think so. It's confusing. Aunt Kaycee...is it normal to love someone romantically when you're 13?"

She looked so innocent sitting there, opposite Kaycee, red hair in a loose ponytail, eyes big, full of questions.

But she was growing up.

"You know Lily, a long time ago, when I was in Hogwarts, there was this girl about your age. I didn't really like her back then, but now I do. The girl's older sister had a friend, and she fell hopelessly in love with him during the first summer that friend of her sister stayed in their home over the summer. Of course she didn't realise it at that time, but she was definitely in love. Want to know how old the girl was?"

Lily nodded eagerly, probably not having expected this kind of story.

"11."

"Are you....really? She was younger than I was? How do you know she was actually in love with her sister's friend? Wasn't it this childish kind of love? Did the boy love her back?"

Kaycee smiled once again, memories of her feelings as a thirteen year old coming back to her. The feelings hadn't changed much, it was the way she dealt with them that had.

"Oh, he did. He only told her years later though, they were friends for a long time before he confessed to her. I heard he first told her he loved her while they were stargazing in the astronomy tower... romantic, don't you think?"

Lily listened with open mouth, her eyes filled with hope, and inspiration. She nodded, letting Kaycee know she loved the story, and Kaycee silently smiled, wishing with all she had in her that Lily was indeed blessed with that same kind of heartwarming love she had been, and still was, able to experience from her love.

"Aunt Kaycee, what happened to them? Are they still together?"

"They are. The two of them married almost as soon as the girl graduated Hogwarts. I was there, you know, and I've never seen someone look with so much adoration in his eyes as the groom on that day. They traveled a bit, and then they settled down and decided to start a family. First, they had a daughter, and then two sons. I see the guy regularly and I know for a fact that he his wife are still very happy together .... So now that this story is over, care to tell me who I need to give my blessing?"

Lily's face went from amazed to shy, her head going down, her eyes focussing on her knees. The smile that stayed etched on her face didn't go unnoticed by Kaycee, however.

"Avi Longbottom."

In all honestly, Kaycee kind of expected that name to roll off of Lily's tongue. Luna and Neville had a lot of kids, 3 sons and 4 daughters to be exact, and together with her own kids and the ones from Hermione and Ron and Ginny and Harry, they all formed one close-knit family, but Kaycee had always noticed how Avi seemed to take care of Lily in such a subtle and unconditional way, and how Lily would always defend Avi and his quiet demeanor to her extroverted friends in a passionate and fiery manner. If Lily was fire - and everyone knew she was - , Avi was earth, and Kaycee had known for years that it would probably work out very well if they ever realised how perfectly they matched themselves.

"Is it bad that I've been kind of shipping you two for years?"

Lily's shy face transformed into one of playful indignation. She didn't hesitate to bury her head in Kaycee's shoulder though, and Kaycee closed her eyes, trying to soak in the feeling of this moment, her and her goddaughter, both so alike, and yet so different because of the era they were born in. Considering her extra mind capacity and the knowledge about it that came along with that, Kaycee liked to think of Lily as someone who could have been her mind twin if she had had one. She was grateful for this role as Lily's godmother though, and after all these years, her promise to Ginny still stood. She would help Lily with all her might, whatever it took. A soul as pure as Lily's deserved nothing short of everything that was needed to shine, to warm everyone around her with her fire.

"I'll let Uncle Sean talk to Avi next time we visit Aunt Luna and Uncle Neville, okay?"

But she didn't receive an answer. When she looked down, she saw that the girl had fallen asleep, lips parted, snoring slightly.

Kaycee smiled and summoned a few blankets from Samantha's bedroom letting them land all around the small redhead cuddled up to her.

The hue told her that somewhere far away in a dream world, Lilly was already shining her light, her small hand warming Avi's.

------------------------------------------------------------------------- 31 years later

His daughter's hand felt clammy in his, but Sean couldn't be deceived. It was definitely his hand that was showing signs of nerves, not hers.

She was one bulb of light, shining, lighting and lifting up the whole room. People always compared her to him, but in this moment, she was definitely and completely her mum, and it was okay. It was good even. Every time he looked at her, he knew that she definitely wanted this, and even if it was still difficult for him to let his daughter go, it also made him elated that she was chasing her own happiness.

Samantha squeezed his hand, letting him know she was ready to start walking. He set his first step, and was reminded of why they took a small break right before walking into the large tent in front of them. His legs felt like jelly, and he silently cursed himself for having mixed feelings on a day like this. He was supposed to jump up and down from joy, to laugh from ear to ear in happiness, and while his heart filled with warmth upon looking at his daughter radiating unlike ever before, he was also very scared of what would happen after today.

They were in front of the altar before he knew it. He blinked his eyes, looking to the left, where his wife was, nodding reassuringly at him, and some of his nerves subsided, but not all of them.

"Dad."

It was Samantha, looking up at him, even if she didn't have to crane her neck as much as she had had to do when she had been a child.

She wasn't a child anymore.

Apparently, he'd said that out loud, because the next thing he saw was Samantha's smile broadening, her hands resting lightly on his tuxedo-clad chest.

"I may not be a child anymore, but I'll always be your child."

Her words worked like cold water on burning skin. They helped him to focus again, to see beyond the chaos in his head. He now saw the way her hair was braided, and knew it was Fleur's work, noticed the thin, silver necklace dangling around her neck, and remembered that he had given it to her on her eighteenth birthday. Now, she was about to receive a ring from another man, and he would have to learn to live with that.

He looked at his daughter's fiance then. The boy was only a few feet away from them, looking at his daughter with the utmost adoration in his eyes. It was the moment Sean realised that they would create something beautiful together. He turned back to his daughter, ignoring the impatient cough of one of his far relatives, and started whispering to Samantha.

"Always remember that I love you. I have loved you since you were born, and I will love you until I die. Unless there's an afterlife, then I'll still love you from there. I can't hide that this is a bit difficult, someone else is going to take care of you from now on, but I do want you to know that I am so immensely proud of you, the woman you have become. I love you."

Sean withdrew his head from hers after kissing her cheek, creating just a bit more distance between them. Again, his gaze landed on his soon-to-be son-in-law, who was looking at him as well now, and nodded. Sean smiled in return, knowing his daughter had made the right choice of marrying this man. He truly was a kind hearted, genuine person, and he respected Samantha, which was the most important thing for him.

After he had laid his daughter's hand in her fiance's, he sat down next to Kaycee. She immediately took his hand, giving his cheek a kiss just like he had given his daughter. Kaycee knew it wasn't easy for him. Truth be told, Sean felt kind of an idiot when he looked at his wife, being so genuinely thrilled at the prospect of their daughter getting married. He couldn't help but feel like he would lose her, however, like their bond would disappear as soon as she had a ring on her left ring finger.

This feeling kept residing in his heart until the moment Samantha's eyes locked with his while she was doing her first dance. She was swirling in her husband's arms, graceful as always, but the moment her gaze met his, time stopped. Rose's fiery hair didn't capture his attention anymore, nor did Neville's awkward dancing with Luna, or Hermione's words of praise towards Dobby because he made excellent food.

Samantha winked at him, just like the stars did on every special occasion in his life. He recognised them now, in his daughter's eyes, the stars.

It dawned on him then that all his worries had been for nothing. You see, love isn't a story of choice. It's a story of addition, of multiplication, even. His daughter would indeed always be his daughter, the only difference was that now, he had gained a son. And he knew, without anyone telling him, that their love would soon multiply, would soon give him one, or even multiple grandchildren to love.

Life is all about love. It's about being loved and giving love in return, about spreading love to cure the hate, about teaching children how to love and reminding people who are lost of how powerful it can be to experience love.

And he felt grateful for the loving life he received, for his siblings, his wife, his children and godchildren, all giving him love for the love he gave them.

And standing there, in that massive party tent, music playing, a warmth filled him, unlike anything else before.

It was a good life.

[runenc03]

HH - Sean’s seventh year (part 7)

Writing date: January 2020

Genre: Fluff? I mean war, the typical last year on the run.

Warnings: As I said, war

Word count: 6.4k 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer

"How do I look?"

She was swirling around the room, the skirt of her bright yellow dress flaring out, and he knew it was her subtle way of teasing him about what was underneath that skirt. In any other circumstance, it probably would've worked, his girlfriend was gorgeous after all, but today, his brain was clouded with worries that were most definitely too heavy for a 17-year-old boy.

"Breathtaking, as always. Kaycee, don't go."

She promptly stopped swirling, her smile vanishing as snow does under the sun.

"Sean, no, we've talked about this already. We're not going to fight about this again, are we? I don't....I don't want a fight to be the last verbal exchange we have and right now, every word could be the last one. You know I can sense it."

He closed his eyes, as if to protect himself against the truthfulness of her words. He didn't wish for a repeat of last Thursday. No, it was just that since that night, nightmares had been plaguing him, forcing him to tiptoe to Ginny's room, in the middle of the night, hoping no one would catch him creeping around the house. The only thing he wanted to do was check on Kaycee and her sister anyway, but he doubted Mrs. Weasley would believe that, coming from a teenage boy with a girlfriend who, coincidentally, lived under the same roof.

Last Thursday was the night Hermione, Ron and Harry had agreed to take Kaycee with them on the horcrux hunt -as she requested- because the extra, now trained capacity of her mind could be handy, and therefore, it was the night of their first ever fight as a couple. He had ignored her at first, not knowing how to deal with the thought of losing her for an unknown amount of time. He hadn't been ready to let her go. After the ignoring, he'd gone to yelling, throwing all his fears like daggers in her face, not even stopping when tears were streaming down her face and her upper lip was trembling. When he had finally stopped yelling, he'd crumpled down, and she had, too, there in that small, stuffy room on the second floor of the Burrow. He'd been stupid enough to assume she wouldn't go, since she had broken down then as well, but when he had voiced that thought, she'd suddenly stood up, raging, making heated hand gestures and screaming in such a pitchy tone that he was convinced someone would come and check on them within 10 seconds. Kaycee had stormed out of the room and hadn't said anything to him at first. Gradually though, she'd started acting normal again, and so they didn't speak about it anymore. But now, barely 4 days later, he still hadn't been able to let go of all his fright. An icy blanket had seemingly wrapped itself around his chest since that evening. He remembered Kaycee once comparing her actual blanket to a prison, and thought bitterly that she couldn't have been more accurate.

"Sean? You okay?"

It was Kaycee, and Sean suddenly came back to the present time, to Kaycee's yellow dress, to the excited chatter from outside that slipped through the creaks of the windows, to the bed he was currently sitting on, to his tie still laying on his lap.

"Yeah, yeah I am. Considering the circumstances."

His voice sounded hoarse, but he didn't really care. He wouldn't have to talk during the ceremony anyway. Kaycee smiled again, and even though it was a somewhat sad smile, it was genuine, and Sean was grateful for that.

"Let me help you with that tie."

She walked towards him, grabbing the tie and sitting down on his lap in its place. Soon, he felt the fabric being tied around his neck, not too tight, just right. Kaycee's hands glided to his chest, and they sat in silence for a few seconds, both trying to close themselves up in this moment where everything was still relatively well.

"Let's make tonight a good night, okay? Give me one more good memory to remember you by, please."

It was all such a contradiction, his dark mood, starkly contrasting with Fleur's excited chatter with her sister in the room next to him. Sean knew she was determined to make her wedding day a happy day, and he admired her for it, but in the meantime, all he wanted to do was crawl in bed with his own love, and never come out again.

"O-okay...I'll stop being annoying now. I just want you to know that it makes me sick knowing you'll be in danger while I'm not with you. And I've come to realise that you're not going to change your mind and that I'll have to be okay with that. I'm not asking you to agree with me, but I would like you to understand."

Kaycee nodded, connecting their foreheads and rubbing his jaw with her thumb.

"I do, Sean. I consider myself lucky, you know. I won't have to worry about where you are or who's chasing you, if you're hungry, or wounded. I know you're going to be as safe as possible, and I'm very grateful for that. Thank you for letting me go. I love you."

He kissed her swiftly, knowing their little bubble would soon be broken by someone walking in or coming to get them for the ceremony, and afraid he wouldn't be able to distant himself from her physically if he continued now.

"I love you too darling. Now, let's go, I'm pretty sure the ceremony is going to start soon, and I want to be able to show everyone how gorgeous my girlfriend is before everyone looks at Fleur."

Her sweet laugh sounded like music to him, and he realised that this would be one of the memories that would keep him going until she would come back to him.

"Fleur's the bride, it's only natural everyone will look at her, it's not supposed to be any different Sean! Besides, if it's up to me, we don't have to wait that long after this is all over. Then you can show me off on your own wedding."

She clambered off of his lap, skipping to the door and giving him one last wink before making her way downstairs.

As he heard the old staircase creak under her weight, he vowed to himself that he would make a good day of today. It was going to be hard, but he would damned if he didn't at least try to make the best of every second he got with her.

And so he kept his promise. They danced all night, under the stars, only eyes for each other, until the chaos started, and the only thing that was left for him was the haunting memory of his arms wrapped around her tiny frame.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had all happened too fast.

The death eaters, the chaos, the screaming, the light flashes. She'd expected it, of course she had, but not that soon. She had actually felt like they would come in about 48 hours from then, but she could kick herself now for not thinking logically.

Of course her sister had. She was the clever one, after all. Thank God for her precautions. She shuddered upon thinking about what would've happened otherwise.

Candles floating all around them were illuminating Sean's face, his eyes sparkling with not only love, but hope as well. They were dancing, swirling around the dance floor, and for just a second, Kaycee couldn't help but allow herself to imagine that this was their own wedding.

A shiver ran down her spine, both from horror and just plain cold. She wasn't having second thoughts about coming with her sister, Ron and Harry at all, but right now, after the last 48 hours in which she'd escaped death eaters in a diner, found a locket that caused her severe anxiety, and broken into the freaking ministry, she'd give all her possessions for a warm couch with Sean sitting in it. The worst thing, however, was that she was well aware that this was only the very beginning.

"Kaycee, are you okay?"

It was Ron, worries visible by the wrinkles on his forehead. She smiled, only slightly and definitely not happy, but grateful for a friend like him. And then, when another term for him flashed through her head, she decided to brighten the situation a little. They could all use it.

"Yes, probably future brother-in-law. Thank you for asking."

And, after checking that Harry and Hermione were still busy setting up their tent, she added:

"Don't you want to go warm your lady up a bit, instead of having to babysit her little sister?"

Ron blushed at that, looking at the ground, but shaking his head slightly.

"I'm not babysitting you Kaycee. You're every bit as mature as Harry and I are. Mione...well, she's just on another level. Besides, talking to you is much easier than talking to her, unfortunately."

Kaycee grinned at that, knowing how much of a hard time he really had talking to her sister. She wished it was different, that they could just admit what they felt. It would make the whole horcrux hunt a lot more comfortable for both of them. Not being able to be with Sean hadn't made her bitter, she still wanted Ron and Hermione to find the love they both craved so badly in each other.

Love.

Sean had said he'd help her with her shoe. She was wearing ballerina-ish ones, with a ribbon tying the shoe around her leg. One of the bows had gotten untied and before she could really react, he'd put himself on one knee in front of her. She didn't even think about what other people would think when they saw them, didn't even notice how much this looked like a completely different event. He tied the ribbon carefully, tight enough so it would keep in place, but not so tight that it would hurt her.

"Sean! This is not a good moment to propose to your girlfriend!"

They both looked up quickly, in the direction of Bill, butterbeer in one hand, roaring with laughter.

"You wouldn't want to have to share the attention with me, now would you?"

Sean had stood up now, laughing as well. Quickly, he walked forward, giving a friendly hug to the oldest Weasley child.

"I haven't had a chance to congratulate you yet! You have way too many aunts swarming around you, Bill. Anyway, congratulations. I hope you'll be really happy together."

"Hey Ron, seeing as talking to me is apparently easier than talking to Hermione, fancy telling me why all your aunts found it necessary to swarm around Bill all the time? Sean and I weren't able to reach him! He had to come to us, and then Sean talked about it with Bill after the...well...incident, but I still don't really get it. I mean, is it only because he's the oldest?"

Ron laughed at that, while giving one of the bags to Kaycee and carrying another one with his uninjured arm to what was now a fully standing tent.

"Well, that's a long story. You sure you don't want to talk about Sean's little stunt? That conversation would be a lot more sensational."

They reached the tent, giving the bags to Harry and Hermione, who were going to unpack them while Ron and Kaycee went for another one.

"No, my day was sensational enough. I'd like to hear some stories about your family. By the time my sister marries, I'd like to know at least all the names of the guests."

This time, Ron didn't comment on her teasing. He just smiled.

"Alright then."

And so they talked all evening, about the normal things in life. And it was well that way, just sitting in their tent with a warm tea cup in their cold hands, telling each other stories. It could be the tea, but Kaycee doubted it. It was probably because of her family, which definitely included Ron and Harry as well by now, that once again, a little seed of hope was planted in her heart.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Autumn

The by now familiar red hue woke her up.

Kaycee opened her eyes, looking around the tent to see what the matter was. She'd soon found the source of the problem: Harry was tossing and turning in his cot, a few feet away from her. She'd learned throughout her sessions with Professor Dumbledore that her extra mind ability always chose to let her know a specific part of the situation. If she was unlucky, it would only tell her that there was something wrong. Those were the worst ones, since she had no clue how to fix whatever was wrong. Sometimes her mind told her what was wrong in particular, but didn't help her with how to fix it. The best thing her mind could do, however, was telling her what she had to do in order to fix whatever was wrong.

Fortunately for her, it was the latter this time.

Quickly, she got up, tiptoeing to Harry's bed, careful not to wake the others. When she reached him, she gently put her hands on his shoulder, slightly shaking him.

"Harry....Harry, wake up. You're having a nightmare. Harry!"

His bloodshot eyes shot open, his breath ragged, and at first, he didn't know where to look, His eyes randomly and desperately darting around the room. In that moment, he reminded Kaycee of the poster of Sirius in Azkaban, and she knew in that moment the sight would haunt her for a long time to come. It took a while until his eyes locked with Kaycee's, but when they did, Harry calmed down a bit.

"It was....it was about G-ginny. Death eaters were hurting her and I wasn't....I wasn't there for her."

He kept silent after that, breaking their eye contact and touching his chest with his left hand. It was only then that Kaycee noticed the locket hanging around his neck.

"Take off the locket and give it to me."

"Kaycee...if something happens, you're the only-"

But she cut him off, having already expected this objection.

"Don't give me that nonsense, Harry. We both know the hue tells me every danger that's about to come in the next 24 hours, I didn't eat chocolate frogs when I visited Professor Dumbledore. Well, that's not the only thing we did, anyway. The point is that I've trained to know a lot by just a few seconds of red hue, and since I've already had the hue now, I know what's important. You can give me the locket."

Harry gave in, putting the chain over his head and giving it to his friend. She immediately put it on, the cold metal instantly numbed the extra part of her mind.

It was something they had discovered a few days after they visited Godric's Hollow, or more specifically, when they were attacked by Nagini. Kaycee hadn't seen it coming at all, hadn't had a red hue in a week. She'd felt so so guilty, until Hermione had demanded her to take off the locket, since it was her turn after Kaycee. As soon as the locket hadn't hung around her neck anymore, the red hue started, way more intense than normal, but also over much sooner. She had seen images, flashes, almost, of everything that had happened in Godric's Hollow.

The red hue had tried to catch up to its normal pace after the locket wasn't able to suffocate her mind anymore.

It was a revelation that had her sister shouting, already making schedules to make sure Kaycee would never be able to wear that locket again, but Kaycee had objected, for the first time in her life standing up against her sister. In the end, she could convince all of them that she would keep wearing the locket, if she promised to give the red hue enough time to come through on a regular basis.

When she looked back at Harry, he smiled, relieved.

"Thank you. That was definitely a misleading dream."

She nodded her head, indicating it was no problem. And then:

"I do it for Ron as well."

Harry cocked his head to the left side, eyebrow raised. Quickly, she checked if Hermione was still asleep, scared she'd start a fit if she discovered her and Ron's secret. Then, she continued.

"Okay, first of all, I want you to stay silent about this to Hermione. She can't know, it's not an option, okay?"

Harry quickly nodded, urging her on.

"About a month ago, Ron and Hermione had an argument. Ron was wearing the locket. You and Hermione stayed inside, not wanting to upset him any more, but I felt a hue coming up again, and so I followed him. The locket had convinced him it was better for him to leave us, Harry."

She could see his eyes expand, her words shocking him to the core.

"Ron does still wear the locket sometimes, one of you would undoubtedly have noticed otherwise, but not as much anymore. And I still take care of giving the hue enough time to come through, it's just way better for all of us this way. Ron...I've learned that he is very insecure. And for me, the locket doesn't feel like a threat at all, it just numbs the extra capacity of my mind, but just because it put its energy in that activity, it can't hurt me anymore."

Harry had an amazed smile on his face, slowly shaking his head as if in disbelief. Kaycee didn't really know what to make of that reaction. Then Harry spoke, whispering in a breathy tone.

"You are one wonderful human being, Kaycee Granger."

She hugged him then, her famous but incredibly genuine friend, and for the first time ever, she really believed the compliment she had received.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- Winter

"Don't listen to it Ron!! It's not true!!"

Kaycee didn't think she'd ever heard Hermione scream this hard. As if on instinct, she took her sister's hand, trying to mitigate some of the pain Hermione was experiencing, seeing Ron there, fighting not only against the locket, but his own insecurities as well.

She knew all about the pain of knowing your love is in danger.

"Kill it, Ron! Now's the time! Do it!"

This time, it was Kaycee who was screaming, letting herself get filled with the last remnants of the hue to tell her friend what he had to do. The real hue had made itself present about half an hour ago. They had been eating dinner when it came up suddenly, urging her on to tell everyone Ron had to go to the lake nearby, with the locket. They had all left their camping place with him, of course, anxiety swirling in the pit of all their stomachs. And now they were at the lake, Kaycee, Harry and Hermione on a safe distance, while Ron was directly in front of that hideous form made of air, feeding him lies.

Ron did nothing.

"RON!!! DESTROY IT!! IT'S NOT REAL!!!"

And then, he finally did.

Kaycee saw him lunge forward, the newfound sword of Gryffindor above his head, a soul wrenching sound coming out of his throat. He lifted the sword, slowly, as if to calculate his next move. Time didn't stop, but it definitely slowed down in that moment. Kaycee could only concentrate on the sword in Ron's hand, floating above his head.

Suddenly, time caught up again, everything happening at once. Ron fell to his knees, bringing the sword with him and successfully slicing the locket in half. The vision of Harry and Hermione that previously floated in the air, the fragments exploding, shattering in a million broken pieces, leaving only the truth behind.

The truth, in this case, was Ron, sitting on his knees on the frozen ground, his shoulders heaving, the sound multiplied a hundred times by the eerie silence of the wood.

"Come here."

Ron's voice sounded hoarse, undoubtedly damaged by the animalistic scream of just a few seconds ago.

They complied, of course they did.

Hermione, however, was a little faster than Kaycee and Harry were. She actually ran to him, turning on her heels as soon as she reached him and facing Ron. Before anyone could really register what she was doing, she fell on her knees, half on top of Ron, half of her jeans already getting covered in the mud. And then, she kissed him.

It was something Kaycee really should've seen coming, but somehow hadn't thought of amidst all the chaos. Now, all she could do was stand still, enjoying this rare moment of happiness, not caring that it was surrounded by a scene of danger and mystery.

Ron had taken Hermione's waist by now, making sure she wouldn't slip off of his lap. The kiss itself had looked pretty passionate, which made Kaycee grin. Hermione never did anything without giving her all. Apparently, that included making out as well.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Harry gesture to her that it'd be better if she just went with him, back to the tent, to give Ron and Hermione some privacy as well. She silently agreed, her smile only broadening as she saw Harry's. Finally, there would be no more beating around the bush from those two.

Just as they were about to walk away, Ron's voice made them come to a halt.

"Stop. Stay, please. Kaycee..."

She turned around again, curious as to why Ron, a guy with 6 siblings, wouldn't appreciate the little alone time she and Harry were giving them. She met his gaze, and was shocked by the amount of happiness radiating off of him, like he was on fire, but in a good way, his positive energy lighting up the forest, and her soul. She wanted him to feel this good all the time.

"Thank you."

And while Harry and Hermione probably thought he was thanking her for sending them here and therefore finally getting rid of the locket, Kaycee knew better. It wasn't only a thank you for transmitting the message of her hue. It was a thank you for lifting his self confidence when he was sure Hermione hated him, it was a thank you for convincing him to stay with them, to convince him that he wasn't too much, but in fact very necessary for this mission. It was a thank you for wearing the locket in his place.

It was a thank you for wanting to be his sister.

"I love you. All of you, so much."

And while they all told her they loved her too, she knew that she would do everything in her power to give these people the long, happy and loving life they deserved.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spring

Mudblood.

Kaycee traced the letters on her sister's arm with her thumb, gently rubbing in the ointment Fleur had given her. She'd insisted on being the one to take care of her sister as soon as she heard about Hermione's injuries, ignoring her own ones. She felt guilty, so guilty, for not being able to help her sister. For the past few days, everyone had been saying that she'd been incredible, there in that cellar, but she couldn't shake the feeling that it hadn't been enough.

The darkness was shocking after the brightly lit room they came from, and if Hermione hadn't just been taken away from them, Kaycee would've thought the darkness was comforting.

"Kaycee Granger, I missed you."

She looked around abruptly despite not being able to see anything. It didn't really matter. The voice was enough to give her hope, and let her see a bit more clearly amidst all this chaos.

"Luna. Oh dear God, Luna."

And she'd opened her arms then, not knowing where Luna was but trusting her to hug her, and Luna did, wrapping her arms around Kaycee's body.

She had to stop herself from flinching when she felt how unhealthily skinny Luna had become.

And then, she'd heard the sound that would resurface in her worst nightmares for the rest of her life. Hermione's scream filled the cellar, heck, the whole house had probably heard the echoes of her pain by now. Behind her, Ron stormed to the bars that contained all of them, tugging on it, screaming almost as hard as Hermione just had, over and over again, even when his voice was rough and his throat was undoubtedly sore.

A knock on the door brought her out of her reverie. She looked up, ready to snap at anyone who dared to intervene, but when the door opened and Luna's head appeared out of the creak, Kaycee relaxed. Luna wouldn't tell her what or what not to do.

"Come on in, Luna."

Luna smiled lightly and opened the door completely with her elbow, a plate of food balanced on one hand, Fleur's medical kit in the other. It was the first day after they had all been rescued from Malfoy Manor that she saw her friend again, because Fleur had insisted that Luna needed enough time to sleep and eat. She still looked very skinny, but Kaycee took comfort in the fact that her eyes had that same sparkle in them that they had always had before, and that the gloss on her cheeks had somewhat returned.

"I brought our food up here, because I thought you could use some company and I was craving a conversation with someone who doesn't see me as a sweet but crazy girl."

Straightforward Luna. Kaycee loved it.

"What's on the menu today?"

As an answer, Luna put down the plate, showing her 2 apples, 2 piping hot bowls of oatmeal, 2 bars of dark chocolate and a large jar with water in it.

They started eating, both slowly, Kaycee because she wasn't really hungry and Luna because her stomach wasn't used to much food anymore. For a while, the high pitched sound of their spoons scraping against their bowls was the only one filling the room, until Luna decided to speak.

"I knew about your hue, of course I did, and I trusted it way before Malfoy Manor, but I'd never realised it was this strong, Kaycee Granger. So thank you, for being a part of the reason why we're all here. I really appreciate not being in that cellar."

Kaycee looked down, suddenly shy. She really didn't know how to deal with the praise. For some reason, it felt weird to see what she did as anything different than a normal reaction, but that was probably because the hue did feel like something normal to her. She supposed it was different when you had been in that dark cellar for more than a few hours indeed.

"How long had you been in that cellar before we came?"

Luna's answer was light, without tears or much fuss, but it made Kaycee feel as cold as she had in that cellar all over again.

"3 months, one week and 4 days, 5 if you count rescue day."

She hugged her best friend, the tears rolling over her cheeks instead of over Luna's, who was, as always, much stronger than people thought she was. She was, after all, the person who made it possible for her to do the things she had done, there in Malfoy Manor.

Ron's screaming was unbearable to listen to, but Kaycee knew she was never going to be able to shut him up. Not while his Mione was upstairs, receiving God knows which treatment. She was pacing, going from one end of the cellar to the other, desperately trying to block out the noise in order to come up with a solution. She had asked herself a million times why the hue hadn't come up to prevent all of this from happening. She thought it had something to do with the fact that Harry had said Voldemort's name so suddenly, it didn't even count as an event for the hue, but the consequences were so grave that Kaycee still felt guilty.

"Everyone shut up right now!"

And surprisingly, everyone did. Kaycee looked around in astonishment, locking eyes with Luna, who appeared to be just as calm and collected as always, nothing revealing the fact that she had yelled that sentence throughout the cellar at a volume no one had heard her use before.

"Kaycee is about to experience a hue. If we want to get out of here, it's wise to let her think for the next few minutes."

All eyes were on Kaycee, but Kaycee could only look at Luna in surprise, and slight fear, because she hadn't even thought of getting a hue here. Now that the possibility crossed her mind, she realised that it had been at least 24 hours since she had experienced her last hue, which had been about the fact that they shouldn't eat pasta that day because Hermione would get sick. Nothing important, which surprised Kaycee, because the hue always chose to tell her the single most important thing within the next few hours.

Around 30 seconds after Luna had all promised them Kaycee would get a hue, she started feeling it herself, and the only thing she was able to register before she succumbed to the red light, was that Luna knew her so well that had been able to predict Kaycee's hue.

Then, it came crashing down on her, intense like never before.

The hue had definitely saved some of its intensity these last few days.

She closed her eyes, trying to make sense of all the things penetrating her head. One of the only things that came back repeatedly was Dobby's form, his voice, the Hogwarts kitchen in which he was washing vegetables right now. Strangely enough, there was a statue of a house elf in knight equipment in the middle of the room. And then an off-hand mention of Luna, a few years ago, telling her house elves had special powers normal witches and wizards would never be able to possess, unless there was something extremely peculiar going on in their mind.

When the hue stopped, she knew what she had to do.

As quickly as possible, she sat down on the cold floor, trying to ignore the intense cold creeping up her legs. She closed her eyes, balled her fists, drowned out Hermione's screams from upstairs. She called for Dobby, not out loud but in her mind, feeling silly for doing so, but hopeful because she had come to trust her hue, and what it told her. For a second, nothing happened, and her faith rapidly turned into despair. When she heard something, she opened her eyes, only to see everyone she knew in that cellar sitting around her, their faces encouraging, their fingers crossed.

It was all she needed to try again.

She called for Dobby, once, twice, over and over again, forgetting everything and anything else. Dobby. Like a mantra in her head, sounding louder and louder, until she suddenly had a vision in her mind. It was the same image she'd seen in her hue, Dobby washing vegetables while humming to himself.

'Dobby!'

And this time, the version of him in her mind looked up, surprised. The elf turned around, watching his friends all do their task. No one in that kitchen had called for him. Kaycee knew she needed to say more.

It's Kaycee, Dobby. Harry and the rest are in Malfoy Manor. I had a hue and therefore knew that we need-

Suddenly, the connection was broken. Kaycee could feel it, there was a void in her, like a meaningful phone call you had accidentally ended. The image of Dobby wasn't in her mind anymore either, no matter how hard she tried to get it back.

She had let her friends down.

Hermione's scream pierced through her, like she had only been listening through a wall, but was now standing right next to her. Kaycee wished she was, then at least she would've been able to help her sister, maybe even take her place. Anything was better than this suffocating feeling of failure.

"Dobby has come to help you."

It was faint and high pitched, coming from the other side of the massive cellar, but everyone turned their head in synchrony, and in disbelief. There stood Dobby, the free elf, the shiny metal of the exact same knight gear she'd seen in her vision covering his entire body. He looked ready to save them all. And while everyone ran to Dobby, helping and praising him, Kaycee felt a hand take her own. She knew, without looking, that it was Luna's. She felt her best friend squeeze her hand, and she knew what it meant.

She hadn't failed.

She had succeeded.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The cold breeze that raged through Sean's hair felt refreshing, like it was blowing away his worries, and replacing them with new ideas, possibilities. A future.

He looked out over the landscape surrounding Hogwarts, the Great Lake, Hagrid's hut, the Forbidden Forest. It had been his home for the last seven years, and while his first few years here at Hogwarts had been quite the adventure, the castle had still felt like a good place. The last year, however, had been hell, worse, it had drained him, sucking all colour from his life, reducing all his positive energy to exhaustion. Now though, it all felt different. He felt the wind again, saw how the green leaves gently swayed to different sides, noticed the ripples on the surface of the water beneath him. He felt alive again.

"You okay, mate?"

The sound came from Ron, standing beside him. Sean closed his eyes, smiling at Ron's familiar words. It was crazy how aware he was of everything right now, how little he took for granted. Even Ron asking him how he was doing brought a smile to his face. It was different, he guessed, when that same friend had been away from him for 10 months.

Somewhere above him, a lark sang, and Sean nodded to his friend. He didn't return Ron's question, though. He knew Ron wasn't okay, and that thought made his stomach clench. There wasn't anything he could do, however, so he just squeezed his shoulder, and he knew Ron understood.

"When Harry and Ginny get married, Hermione and I will train any Hogwarts house elf who wants to participate in dancing, and they'll bring a beautiful show on their wedding."

Sean's head turned around as quickly as possible, his eyes locking on her form. He'd seen her right before and during the battle, but that was only briefly, and his mind had focused on finding horcruxes and making sure as little people as possible died. Only now that the war was over, he could look properly at her again. She'd lost weight, her hair had never been this dirty and the bags under her eyes had never been this prominent, but the brightness of her eyes hadn't either. She was breathtaking, and he was at a loss for words.

"Wait...is that the hue telling us this? Because I actually like that idea!"

It was Hermione who spoke this time, she was standing beside her sister, hair just as messy, dirty smears covering her cheeks. He saw Ron move, crossing the width of the bridge and engulfing the brightest witch of their age in his arms. It was in that moment that Sean knew Ron would be okay. It'd take a lot of time, but from now on, it'd go only better. He was already healing.

Kaycee spoke up again, and Sean revelled in the sweet sound of her voice.

"No, it's not the hue. I'm creating this with my fantasy, because I hope it'll happen one day. Hermione...we're allowed to dream again."

A single tear fell on Hermione's chest. Sean knew it wasn't from sadness. It was because of what Kaycee had just said. He decided right then and there that that was the most beautiful sentence he'd ever heard in his entire life.

They were allowed to dream again.

"When Kaycee and I get married, we will argue a lot about whether Hermione can be my witness or hers. In the end, I get Hermione as my witness, and she asks Sarah to be hers."

He hadn't even meant to said, it was just an image that had come to his mind. The effect, however, was immediate, Hermione carefully unwrapping herself from Ron's arms and giving him a hug. From the corner of his eye, he saw Ron smile, and his heart warmed.

They stayed on that half broken bridge for the rest of the day, even when it had become dark and the stars had appeared. At one point, Luna and Harry had come to them, bringing blankets, and they joined them in 'creating their future'. Ginny found them too, eventually, as well as Neville, and the 8 of them sat there, the stones cold but their love for one another warm.

Just when Luna was describing how she'd take all their kids on a road trip with Auntie Luna to teach them more about all kinds of mysterious animals, Sean looked up at the stars. Just like that night when he confessed to his love, a star seemed to flutter without falling down, almost like it was winking at him, and Sean was overcome with one thought, crashing over him like a wave of crystal-clear water.

From now on, all these things were finally possible.

[runenc03]

HH - Kaycee’s fifth year (part 6)

Writing date: January 2020

Genre: fluff. And an approaching war

Warnings: maybe some harassment? It all ends up being okay and nothing terrible happens

Word count: 6.3k

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer

"Have you ever heard about horcruxes?"

Kaycee was sitting in Professor Dumbledore's office, her stomach slightly squeasy because of the nerves she felt all throughout her body. She shook her head, unsure of herself, before looking to her side to see if her sister knew anything about it. Hermione's brows were furrowed, but her head was slightly tilted, two signs Kaycee had learned to recognise through years of being with her sister.  It indicated Hermione didn't know something yet, but was inquisitive to learn more about it.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, looking at them with a kind smile, but a serious expression in his eyes.

"Horcruxes are very, very rare objects. They're also a very dark form of magic, which is why most people have never heard of it before. A horcrux is an object in which a piece of someone's soul is placed. The process is not something I'd recommend, though. In order to make a horcrux, one has to splinch their own soul. I've obviously never experienced it myself, but it's said to be one of the worst kinds of pain to exist."

The heavy silence Kaycee thought would follow was immediately killed by Hermione's voice full of disbelief.

"But why would someone do that? That sounds gruesome!"

The headmaster nodded understandingly at her.

"That's the clue, Miss Granger. You can't kill someone who has put a part of his soul in another object. Horcruxes always make it possible to return from death."

Kaycee heard Hermione gasp, and she knew her sister had connected the dots. She, however, still had difficulty comprehending where this conversation was heading, until her sister started whispering the answer to the questions that were swirling inside of her head.

"Voldemort has put a part of his soul in a horcrux."

"I'm afraid it's not just one horcrux, Miss Granger. Voldemort has indeed used this technique to be able to reclaim his life, but he has splinched his soul not once, but at least 3 times."

This time, it was Kaycee who gasped. She just couldn't imagine wanting to splinch your own soul. She promptly started shivering at the idea, for once hating how much empathy she possessed. Her shock didn't make her forget her confusion, however, so she asked her headmaster the question that had been burning on her tongue throughout the entire visit.

"But, Professor, what does that have to do with me, and my strange feeling?"

The old man's eyes went from serious to grave, as if he were about to convey some very bad news, and Kaycee suddenly went from sweating to being very, very cold. She wanted this to be over with, so she could crawl in her blankets, the familiar prison for once protecting her from the outside world, instead of the other way around.

"Miss Granger, that's where it gets very interesting. First of all, I want you to know that nothing like this has ever happened in the entire history of Magic, or at least as far as we can read back. That being said, I do have a suspicion I am pretty confident about. You undoubtedly remember your first year, and the diary you wrote in."

Dumbledore's voice got lower, his guilt about not being able to prevent all of that from happening evident in the way he spoke, and Kaycee nodded, half to indicate that she was still following, half to let him know that she was well now, and didn't hold any grudge.

"The diary was a horcrux. When Mr. Potter destroyed it with the basilisk fang, a piece of Voldemort got destroyed along with the object. Since you had been taking the diary with you for such a long time by then, the influence of the horcrux had kind of put itself inside of you, Miss Granger. I know that sounds very concerning, but I want you to know that you were not a horcrux, the influence of the horcrux had merely started residing inside of you, if I can put it like that. Of course that influence got destroyed at the same time that the source of it, the horcrux, got dismantled, but the place it had stayed at, didn't immediately get occupied again. Not that your mind misses anything, it's quite the opposite, really. If anything, your mind got stretched with that influence, and since that space didn't exist before your first year, it was empty after Mr Potter's battle with the basilisk."

"So, my mind is basically larger than average?"

Dumbledore nodded.

"It is, Miss Granger, but that's not all there is to it. After doing some research, I found out that such 'mindgaps' have existed before yours, although they were made in other circumstances. Losing a mind twin, for example, is an unfortunate event in which the mind twin experiences a void in their mind, but fortunately, that's not the case for you, Miss Granger. In fact, your mind has magically filled itself again, with what I expect to be exactly the feeling you have described. See it as an extra gut feeling, an extra internal compass, if you would. Miss Granger, I know that this must come as a surprise, and if it was possible, I wouldn't let you dwell on it any further, instead opting to let you enjoy your teenage years to their full extent, but I'm afraid that in times of war, we must use everything we can, and that includes the extra capacity of your mind."

Kaycee was fast to nod, agreeing completely with what her headmaster was saying. Unlike what Professor Dumbledore had expected, Kaycee didn't feel all that shocked or overwhelmed anymore. True, this was not what she expected, but she finally had an answer now, finally knew for sure that the feeling was not something she made up, or exaggerated. It was useful, she was finally useful in this journey to the light - as she liked to call the war going on around them.

"What's the plan, professor? I'm up to whatever you see fit."

The headmaster smiled at that, his eyes twinkling with pride.

"I would like you to come to my office every 2 weeks, for an extra class outside of your normal classes. I will teach you how to understand your power, how to use it, and, if necessary, how to suppress it. Are you okay with that?"

"Yes, Professor. I look forward to it."

And she did. For so many years, she had been struggling with the memories of her first year, the nightmares, the guilt of holding onto that diary for so long.

It was time for her to step up, do her part, help her loved ones.

She was ready.

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Autumn

Sean breathed out a sigh of relief when he finally found her. The sight of her sitting there with crossed legs, looking up at the sky through the massive window, her hair cascading down her back, made him feel so many things at once. It was breathtaking, really, and he could've stood there all night, up there in the astronomy tower, without moving an inch. He knew that wasn't an option though.

"So there you are."

She didn't move, didn't say anything at first, but Sean knew he was allowed to come closer. He vaguely registered how the wooden floor creaked as he moved, but his focus was on Kaycee. He was still hesitant to do anything. She was the one who ran away so suddenly, after all.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left like that. It was not your fault, I promise."

She said it with a quiet, hoarse voice, and he knew right then and there that she had been able to think while looking at all those constellations above them. It had made her calm. Another wave of relief crashed over him.

She wasn't going to run from him.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

She finally looked at him, a million stars seemingly reflected in her eyes at that moment. She nodded, stretching out her arm to him, beckoning him to sit down, but - to Sean's disappointment - letting go of that arm as soon as he was sitting beside her. For a few seconds, she said nothing, and he didn't push her. He knew that she would start when she had found the right words.

"Look, we both know that I like you as more than a friend, right?"

Sean tried his best to hide his surprise that she didn't beat around the bush. For some reason, the dark blue colour of the sky combined with the bright spots scattered across it had made him think their conversation would be a meaningful one, one to start gradually but last forever in his memory.

"Did I say too much...?..."

Her voice, a lot softer than normal, brought him out of his thoughts, and he started to speak immediately, not wanting her to be insecure because she decided to be brave enough to finally address their dynamic.

"No, no you definitely didn't Kayc! I just....didn't expect you to be so open about it so suddenly."

She smiled at that, still a bit shy, but at least more comfortable now.

"Sean, when Ron asked me to come smell his Amortentia, I just, I don't know....for some reason I really didn't think it would be that much of a big deal, but then I smelled it and I just...panicked, I guess."

Those last few words made Sean panic in her place. Had he actually been mistaken about her signs and did she not feel anything for him? Had he really been that arrogant? A cold spot formed itself in his chest, and the longer Kaycee waited with continuing her story, the more it spread out towards the rest of his body.

"So....what did you smell then?"

He tried to be casual about it, he really did, but the cold spot had reached his throat and made it hard to speak. Kaycee finally turned her head, now looking at him instead of at the constellations, a small smile on her face.

"Come on Shamu, like it's not embarrassingly obvious already. I smelled...well, this is probably pretty unique for Amortentia, but I smelled sweaty dance rooms, and parchment, and freshly cooked meals. Sean, I already knew I liked you. I mean, I guess I made it pretty obvious. Smelling you in Amortentia though...it brings everything on a much higher level. And I...I guess I underestimated how serious my feelings for you were, but we both know Amortentia never lies, now does it?"

And he knew as well that Amortentia never masked anything. Whatever you smelled while hanging above a cauldron of the lovely liquid was what your deepest desire was in terms of love, and that wouldn't go away after your crush stayed uninterested or your teenage years passed.

No, what you smelled in Amortentia, counted for the rest of your life.

"Sunflowers, hairspray and just a hint of sweat, but the good, 'I gave my all and created something magical' kind, not the disgusting one."

"What?"

He almost laughed at the clueless expression on her face, but then he didn't, suddenly realising that this could very well become the moment he could officially ask her to be his girlfriend.

"It's what I smelled in my Amortentia, Kaycee. I think we both know who smells like that, don't we?"

"Well, I hope I don't smell like sweat all the time."

She said it while laughing, but Sean could hear the relief she was trying to cover up. Had she been so insecure about his feelings for her? He thought he'd always made it pretty obvious she was it for him.

"No, you don't. You smell like sunflowers most of the time, but if I talk or think about you, I always picture you dancing, so I guess that's where the smell of hairspray and sweat comes from."

And then, when he saw the doubt on her face:

"Kaycee, it's you. And I don't know what that does to you, I hope it makes you happy, although it can also cost me my friendship with you if it makes you panic, but it has to be said. I am completely in love with you, and I've known it for far longer than my Amortentia class, or than going to the Yule Ball with you, even. And there's nothing I can do about it. I can only hope you feel the same, really, because there is no way to get over what I feel for you."

He didn't know why he said all of that. It was true, in fact there was nothing more honest he had ever said, but even he realised that this was probably a bit much to take in all at once. He should've said those things all separately, at the right time, but then again, he had been walking around for almost 3 years now, his head repeating these words like a mantra, over and over again.

All the while, Kaycee's face stayed unreadable.

"Sean....wow. I wish I could say something as meaningful, but you're the one with the right words, aren't you?"

Her tone was so controlled, almost restrained, that his first thought was that she was angry with him. He should've known better.

"It's one of the many reasons I'm in love with you as well. You want to hear some other ones?"

Sean could only nod, overcome with a second, huge wave of relief, gratitude, and slight disbelief. When talking about this moment to others later on, he would always contemplate telling them about how Kaycee's skin seemed to bask in the light those millions of stars emitted. He never did. It was something only he would ever know, and he knew he would always remember it.

"Your friendship with Hermione is something that makes my heart warm. Or the way you don't try to overpower me when we dance, but rather dance with me, next to me. I love how you can engulf me in your arms, how you offer me comfort, but also see me as my own person. And then we haven't talked about all the sweet gestures. Like, I love it when you take my hand, or lay yours on the small of my back. Or when we duelled in the DA last year, you never held back, you duelled against me to win, which made me feel that much more accomplished when I managed to win. You saw me as your equal opponent, not as a little, fragile sister or a too-naïve Hufflepuff. You saw and continue to see me as the deepest, rawest, most true version of myself. And that, Sean, is something I'll always be grateful for.

He couldn't help himself anymore, needed to diminish the distance between them, so he opened his arms, ready to wrap them around her.

"Come here, Kayc."

And she did, with a surprising amount of eagerness. She shuffled closer, and then, when Sean expected her to come to a halt propped next to him, she moved again, this time lifting herself up and sitting down again on his lap, leaning backwards and laying her head on his shoulder, looking at the stars again.

They were silent once again, but Sean wasn't one to stop talking because a moment was beautiful. He believed words had a great power, and if used in the right way, they could make that beautiful moment even better.

"Kaycee, does this mean..."

He still couldn't outright say it. Was it because of all the years he had stayed silent before this, or because of the intoxicating smell of her hair currently tickling the right side of his neck, he didn't know. He wanted to kick himself for ruining this moment with his words, when Kaycee's next ones made him smile again.

"Do you want it to?"

Something in her tone was open enough to finally give him the courage to go through with it. He took her hand, interlacing her fingers with his, letting them rest on her lap.

"Kaycee Caitlin Rice, do you, at last, after everything we've been through, want to be my girlfriend?"

She said nothing at first, only raising the hand that was holding hers and kissing the back of it. Sean could feel the outline of her smile on his skin. His heart was soaring, burning, even, and he loved every second of it.

"I would love to be your girlfriend, Sean Charles Lew. Very much so."

And that was it. He gave her a kiss on her hair, and put his arm around her middle, pulling her just a smidge closer to his chest. He needed to feel her, to assure himself that this had actually just happened. For some reason, he'd always thought getting together with Kaycee would be something grand, something with music, flowers, lengthy speeches, tears. It hadn't been anything like that, this was probably the most silent get together in the history of Hogwarts.

Still, he looked up at the stars again, wanting to cherish this moment, no matter how silent it had been. What followed could be his imagination, but he swore he saw one of the stars wink. It was all that was needed to tell him that the roaring of his heart was loud enough, and, judging by the way Kaycee's thumb kept rubbing over his arm, he knew it sounded like music to her, too.

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Winter

"Mione! Look, quickly!"

She couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice, already having to remind herself that she had to stay silent. This was a library, after all.

Her sister shuffled closer to her after putting away her wand, trying to watch their friends sitting at an old wooden table through the same small gap in between 2 seemingly endless rows of books.

"Oh, there's mistletoe above us, Neville!"

Neville promptly looked up at Luna's wondering tone of voice, and Kaycee squeezed Sean's hand, smiling when he immediately squeezed back, as well as putting his chin on top of her head.

"I wonder how it started blooming here so suddenly...the living conditions in a library aren't exactly ideal for a plant like misletoe..."

Kaycee could almost feel the identical grins that were on both Hermione's and Sean's face now. She herself, couldn't help but grin as well. They should have known Neville would start thinking about the misletoe's traits, rather than its meaning.

"Well Neville, in a place like Hogwarts, I believe everything is possible. You do know what this means, right? I've already checked, there aren't any nargles in it, which means it's real mistletoe, and not giving me a kiss would mean lots of things, starting with being bothered by hinkypunks for the rest of your life. Now of course I understand if you do not wish to kiss me, but -"

"I do!"

Neville had cut Luna off, and everyone, including Neville himself, only realised a few seconds later what he had actually said. Kaycee smiled, hidden from Neville and Luna by that massive wall of books. She hadn't expected their plan to go so easily.

"I mean, I do want to kiss you, Luna. Especially under a misletoe. It's tradition, after all."

Neville's voice was a lot softer now, and Kaycee silently thanked him for it, afraid for a second that Madam Pinch would check on the pair and their moment would be completely ruined.

"Well then, what are you waiting for?"

Luna sounded even brighter than usual, although Kaycee's fangirl heart could also be playing tricks on her. Either way, she was excited beyond words for what was about to unfold right in front of her.

And then, it happened.

After Neville had taken one last deep breath, he lowered his head, hesitating for only a second before finally letting his lips touch Luna's. For just a second, nothing happened, they just stayed like that, quiet, in peace, and Kaycee was about to swallow her 'awwww' when something changed.

Luna had shuffled closer to Neville, wrapping her arms around his neck. His reaction was a bright smile, not even hidden behind Luna's lips. His arm was next, Neville wrapping it around Luna's waist, squeezing her side when his hand ended up laying there. Kaycee thought her jaw would actually drop, the whole thing looked so fluent. It took her brain a second to realise just how right this had to feel for both of them in that moment, and her heart melted a little more. They deserved it so much.

By now, Luna had moved her arms, one laying on Neville's chest, the other on his left sideburn, tilting his head so she could reach it. Then, they separated, but as soon as they looked into each other's eyes, they diminished the distance between them again, Neville taking the lead now, following her example of laying a hand on his cheek, moving his thumb across her jawline.

They pulled away slowly, both of them seemingly not wanting this to end. It was only now that Neville started to blush. He pulled her even closer, Luna responding to that by putting her legs over his lap and once again wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Do you think he's going to confess?"

Kaycee whispered her words in Sean's ear, afraid the faintest sound would ruin the cozy bubble Neville and Luna were in right now. He made a face, telling his girlfriend wordlessly that he didn't know, but hoped it would finally happen. Kaycee could feel his arm coming to hold her waist, and in this moment she could only think about how much she wanted Luna to be able to feel the same thing, not just now, but always.

On the other side of the wall of books, Luna placed her forehead against Neville's, her eyes closed.

"Did you know that when you're in love, there are little elves in your belly? Everyone always thinks those are butterflies, but that's not true."

"Is that so? Well...it's good to know what's going on in my stomach, then."

Okay, Kaycee had to admit that one was smooth.

"Yeah, when I first felt them, I wanted to know what caused the feeling, so I started searching for an explanation and eventually, I found an article about it in an old edition of the Quibbler."

Kaycee noticed that while Luna's eyes were still closed, Neville's were wide open, looking at the girl in front of him. Kaycee didn't think she'd ever seen so much adoration in someone gaze.

"When do you feel them, Luna?"

Luna's smile got even broader, her whole body actually emitting a warm glow.

"They always crawl around when we sit in the greenhouses. Or when I help you with your homework. Or when you accidentally touch me and apologise while you really don't need to. Also when you just smile at me."

Neville answered with a kiss on Luna's forehead, and Kaycee knew that this was the start of something extraordinarily beautiful.

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"Hey, babe!"

As soon as Kaycee heard those words, she turned around warily. This was definitely not Sean. He had nicknames for her, yes, like darling, or love, or baby, when he was in a particularly clingy mood, but never babe.

Upon seeing the guy who had clearly called out on her as there were no other people in the corridor she was currently standing, she put on an unimpressed face, trying to seem unaffected, but wrapping her thin coat tighter around her body. The past week had been remarkably warm for this time of the year, and Kaycee had secretly started hoping Spring would come early this year, but apparently, thin coats didn't protect you against creepy dudes. Not that thick coats did, really.

"Hey, I was talking to you there!"

This time, Kaycee couldn't ignore him anymore. She took a closer look at the guy. He was striding forward urgently, black hair sleeked back, a dangerous glint in his dark eyes. She didn't trust him one bit.

"What do you want?"

She was snapping at him, Kaycee could hear it herself. She could only hope he didn't hear the panic sleeping through her tone. She just couldn't help it, the guy was so much taller than her, actually towering over her small form. There was a threatening glow around him that automatically made her want to get as far away from him as possible.

"Oh, well, you see, Kaycee Granger, I've heard some things about you. All good things, don't worry. You're a dancer, aren't you?"

Kaycee nodded, still unsure of where the creepy guy was going. She just wanted Luna to show up so they could go feed the thestrals, which was the reason she was standing here in the first place. Suddenly, his face came closer to hers, and Kaycee had to suppress the urge to lean backwards. She didn't though, because she had finally recognised that dangerous gleam in the boy's eyes. It was a look of pure hunger.

"Do you also like to dance in more...suggestive ways? What do you think about dancing for me? I'd quite like you to give me a lap dance...would you like that, Kaycee?"

This was actually disgusting. She didn't know where this guy got his information from, but it made her sick to her stomach to realise that people immediately linked dancing with sexual things. Even then, she really had nothing against more suggestive dances, but the fact that this guy thought every dancer would automatically want to dance for everyone in that way just went beyond what she thought possible.

"I...stay..away from me."

But even she heard how soft it sounded, vulnerable even, and she could kick herself for being scared of this guy. He didn't deserve that satisfaction.

"Are you sure, sweetheart? I'll surely reward you well..."

And then, there was another voice, not hard at all, but icy, his words echoing through the corridor.

"Do as she says. Stay away from her. For your information, she keeps those kind of dances exclusively for her boyfriend, who is, in this case, only a few feet away from you. If I were you, I'd listen to her."

Both Kaycee and the scary guy looked at the owner of the voice, and if Kaycee had had any way to run to the guy by escaping her threatener, she would have, but he was standing too close, leaving her little more than a few inches of free space on both her sides, her back already against the stone wall.

"Sean Lew."

It was a statement, the teasing undertone completely wiped from his voice, now sounding hollow, empty.

"Geoffrey Zagan."

She had never heard of the guy before, never even seen him. It was only when her eyes fell on his scarf that she realised how the two knew each other. Geoffrey was a Ravenclaw as well.

Sean started walking closer now, his face still void of any emotion. Kaycee could see it though, the cold, threatening glare in his eyes. For the first time in her life, she wasn't completely sure Sean wouldn't physically fight with someone. His steps were deliberate, almost demonstrative, but Kaycee knew he was not playing games. This was a serious matter for her boyfriend.

When the distance between the guys had diminished to 2 feet, Sean came to a halt, right across from Zagan, who had now turned to the other Ravenclaw. That's where the 2 boys stayed for a while, just looking each other in the eye, the silence around them somehow sounding even louder than the words they had spoken a few moments ago.

"Right. I'll go then. Enjoy your girlfriend, Lew."

And with that, he was gone, his steps brisk, with each one he took loosening the iron hold on Kaycee's lungs a little more.

As soon as Geoffrey Zagan had turned around the corner, Sean started talking, his voice harsher than Kaycee had expected it to be.

"I cannot believe this just happened. Honestly Kaycee, how long has this been going on?"

"Sean, stop overreacting. This was the first time this happened, and he didn't have any time to do something to me, now did he? You were fast enough to show him I'm all yours"

She didn't know whether reminding him was a good choice or not, but it was the only thing the could think of.

She saw that her boyfriend finally relaxed at her words, smiling now, and then she smiled too, relieved he wasn't angry anymore. He wrapped an arm around her and rested his hand on her hip, pulling her closer to him, a grin spreading over his face while looking into her eyes.

"That, you absolutely are, my darling. All mine to love."

Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck automatically, as if it was second nature. She stood on her tiptoes, her balance perfect because of all the technique classes she had taken throughout the holiday, and angled her face to kiss him. As a thank you, or as an I love you, or maybe both. Sean immediately kissed back, smiling in the kiss, the arm that was still wrapped around her waist pulling her closer to him, his other hand weaving through her curly hair, angling her face so he could reach her better.

Kaycee pulled back from his lips now, but only slightly.

"I love you Shamu. I truly couldn't help it, what he did...but I'm sorry you had to rescue me."

They were whispering against each other's lips now, the moment feeling delicate, vulnerable, and in Kaycee's eyes, easy to escalate in the wrong way. Sean's angry tone had scared her, even though she wouldn't admit it. That wasn't necessary, however, because Sean could see it in her eyes, she knew she couldn't hide it, and his face was immediately filled with guilt.

"I'm sorry love, I just....I got so enraged seeing him so close to you. Not even because I was jealous, I wasn't, but because of the look on your face. I promise I won't put my frustration on you anymore Kayc."

She nodded, caressing his cheek, and he smiled again, his dimples showing. She couldn't help but poke them, they were so adorable, resulting in the 2 of them falling into a fit of laughter, desperately clinging to each other while trying to get at least a little bit of oxygen.

Their laughter eventually calmed down, however, and a thought suddenly struck Kaycee, promptly removing all happiness from her mind.

"Sean...you lied to him."

Sean looked confused, and didn't know what to say to that, unsure of what she actually meant. She could see it in his eyes, he was already going over all the previous events, trying to pinpoint what he had done wrong. Quickly, she put her hands on his chest, putting her weight forward instead of backwards, showing him she wasn't, and would never be, afraid of him.

"You didn't do anything wrong, in fact I'm incredibly grateful you did this for me in the way you did. Saving me-"

"I didn't save you, I helped you. You would've been able to fight him on your own, I'm not your knight in shining armor, even though I'd like to be sometimes."

Kaycee just continued what she was going to say, but couldn't fight the small grin that was returning on her face.

"Be that as it may, my point is that you made me feel taken care of, but you did so by lying, and I didn't even realise it. You said I dance for you in that way Sean. And we both know I don't. We only do cute and sweet things, never the more...spicy ones. And...I just...I guess I only realise now that you maybe want that and I've been so insensitive about your wants and needs, never even asking if you wanted me to do something like that while you've given me everything I want and more and I-"

"Hey hey, calm down darling, breathe. Please tell me this is just the shock from meeting Zagan, and you don't really think this."

The silence following his words answered him, and she could see that it wasn't the answer he had been hoping for.

"Sean...I just, he made me think, okay? I would understand if you wanted me to do certain things. Why hasn't that happened yet? I mean, we've been together for almost 5 months now, and you're a healthy teenage boy, I would truly understand Sean."

He was shaking his head, and she was afraid he hadn't even heard her, hadn't even wanted to know what she was saying, but to her, this wasn't something unreasonable. She would really understand, she wasn't just saying it to make him happy.

"Kaycee, you're so wrong this time. This doesn't have anything to do with my needs or wants in terms of sexy things, at least not only mine. I know this is going to sound so cliché but I swear I'm telling you the truth. Your wellbeing will always be my number 1 priority. I really don't care whether we do those things now, or in a few weeks, months, years. The thing is, Kaycee, that it'll only be fun for me of I'm 100% convinced you are enjoying yourself too, and until then, I'm happy to wait. Really, I am. Darling, say something please, I want you to understand."

And she finally did. What Sean had said was true for her too, things were only fun or nice whenever the person you were doing it with was happy as well. Kaycee realised then, that the beauty of everything, but most of all these romantic steps, was the knowledge that you were sharing that beauty, sharing the memories, the feelings, not just the activity itself. It all made sense now. And she could only hug Sean, this wonderful young man in front of her, not only for reassuring her he wanted to wait with things, but for convincing her that he was 100% okay with it.

In time, they would make their own, unique, precious, and beautiful memories in that department, but until then, she was going to show this extraordinary human in front of her all the other ways in which her heart longed for him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spring

This could very well be the worst day of Sean Lew's life.

Not even when he had had to save Kaycee in his second year did he feel as sad as he did now. Back then, he had been able to do something. Right now, it was all out of his hands, irreversible.

Albus Dumbledore was dead, and he would be gone forever.

It was the only thought that was able to sink through the thick fog pervading his brain, the only thing he could hear, over and over again, his inner voice echoeing within his head. He could only sit there, outside, alone on one of the wooden benches after the Headmaster's funeral. Of course Kaycee and his friends had been there during the service, but afterwards, they had all known Sean needed some time alone, and he was grateful that they let him gather his thoughts in solitude.

Until now.

"Hey there Sean Lew. Do you mind if I sit here with you? You look like you could use another perspective on all this."

Sean turned his head, smiling slightly when he heard Luna's voice. His fellow Ravenclaw had a way with words, with saying them, and he realised that it would probably be wise to listen to what she wanted to tell him. He was no fool, having someone like Luna in your life was a true blessing, like a breath of fresh air, time and time again, and he had figured out a long time ago that he should never take her presence for granted.

"You know Sean, when my mother died, my father and I didn't do anything extremely special. We didn't remove her pictures inside the house, but we also didn't put any more on the walls. Her grave was very simple as well, no special bouquets or incredibly long letters. No intricate service, not at all. We said goodbye to her and that was about it."

Her tone was so light when she told about her mum, Sean noted, and he could only be impressed. She didn't sound sad at all, and he wanted to know how that was possible.

"Luna....why are you telling me this now?"

She smiled at that, not looking him in the eye, but rather at the field of grass in front of her.

"Because, Sean, you look too much at the earthly things, the tangible things, the facts. Services, flowers, gravestones....they're not important, or at least not in my opinion. If we follow biological rules, there's no denying that dead people are, and will always be, dead. They won't come back. But what people often tend to forget is that there is one way to keep those loved ones alive, regardless of your religious or scientific beliefs."

A brief silence fell over them, and for the first time since she approached him, Luna turned her head, making eye contact with him.

"You keep them alive in your heart."

And there was something about the way she said it that made him believe her. The fog in his head disappeared, and the sun that had been shining all along, reached Sean now as well.

And deep within his heart, a home for Professor Dumbledore started to bloom.

[runenc03]

HH - Sean’s fifth year (part 5)

Writing date: December 2019

Genre: fluff 

Warnings: none that I can think of. Some teasing from Kaycee, some sitting in each other’s lap. Oh and a shirtless Sean, although not in very happy circumstances.

Word count: 7.2k 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer

"Please stop pacing like that, Kaycee. It's making me nervous and I'm sure it won't take mrs Black long to notice you too, and Merlin forbid her from screaming again."

Kaycee could only look disturbed at Hermione. Mrs Black was definitely the last thing she was worrying about at the moment, although she silently agreed that her nerves wouldn't exactly subdue if that damned portrait would start screaming again.

She sighed.

"You can't blame me, Mione. They left 2 hours and 13 minutes ago."

They should've been back already.

"Come sit with me Kayc. You know there's no use in walking around as much as you're doing now. If Sean was in danger, Tonks would've sent us a patronus already, you know that, you were there when they made up a plan to get him."

Her sister had always had a way with words, and even at a time like this, Hermione's soothing tone managed to calm her down at least a little bit. She smiled, just slightly, indeed remembering the plan to bring Sean to Grimmauld Place as well. Originally, the order had intended for it to be a private discussion, away from 'the kids', as they liked to call the people in the house who still went to Hogwarts - much to Ginny's dismay. However, Kaycee, who had always been well behaved and polite, had argued with pretty much the whole order until she was finally allowed to sit with them while the plans were made.

She realised it had been pretty much a dead giveaway, she hadn't exactly been secretive about how important Sean - and therefore this mission - was to her, but she couldn't find it within her to care, not then, and not now. She would argue, yell, grumble again - and much more if needed- if it meant knowing what was going to happen to Sean.

Sean. Her Sean, even though it was only something she felt, not something she could say out loud. Yet. They had sent eachother a lot of letters during the holiday, and both of their letters had been less friendzone-like than before. A few weeks ago, they had both even dared to flirt just a bit.

Kaycee loved it.

She loved sitting down with a smile on her face, tapping her quill while thinking about what she was going to write. She loved that Eureka-moment when she finally knew what it was going to be, loved the sight of Hermione's owl flying away with it, knowing he'd read those words. Even more, she loved waiting for his reply, daydreaming about what he was going to write, and then finally the butterflies in her stomach while reading his words.

Yes, she loved his letters, and the reason was simple, really.

She loved those letters, because she loved him.

She could still remember the moment she came to that realisation. It had been an incredibly hot evening in late July, and she just hadn't been able to sleep at all. Tired and restless, she'd come out of her bed. She had been just about to start choreographing a new solo piece when she had heard a familiar hoot, and she'd immediately opened her window, excitement already filling her veins at the prospect of reading another letter of Sean.

She had given the owl a few treats before carefully -but impatiently- unwrapping the letter from its leg.

Her eyes had skimmed over his words, trying to read them as fast as possible while also understanding what he was saying, and she had felt her cheeks getting hotter when she read that he 'couldn't wait to see her sparkling eyes again'.

That night, while choreographing, she couldn't help but imagine him being there with her. When she'd lifted her arms, she had imagined Sean placing his large hands on her exposed waist, when she'd made a particularly intricate footwork part, she imagined him imitating her, and when she had dropped to the floor afterwards, she hadn't been able to stop herself from imagining him hugging her, telling her how well she did.

She had known right then and there that if he had really been by her side in that moment, he would've done exactly as she imagined. And truth be told, she didn't want anyone else to treat her the way he did.

So when she got shaken out of her thoughts by the door of Grimmauld Place opening and Tonks simultaneously knocking over the umbrella stand and yelling that they had brought Sean, she could only run towards the boy, latching onto him with her arms around his neck and her legs wrapped around his waist. And when he whispered in her ear that he wanted her to look at him so he could see her eyes again, her heart and her mind finally fully came to the terms with her realisation of last summer.

She was truly in love with this guy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on guys, it's our last night of freedom, let's play truth or dare!"

Fred's words got answered with a variety of mixed emotions. Some people -George and Ron- were actually excited to spice things up before they had to go to hogwarts again tomorrow, others -namely Hermione- looked more worried, afraid of which consequences this could possibly have. Sean honestly didn't know how to feel about Fred's idea. The almost-16-year old boy inside of him was inquisitive, while the sensitive Ravenclaw hesitated to join, but in the end, Kaycee's sparkling eyes won him over again. He knew they always would.

"Yes, join, Sean! Hey, Bill! Care to join as well?"

And after Bill had put another chair in their small circle, exclaiming with a grin that he was more than ready to embarass the heck out of all his siblings, they could start.

"Alright, George, truth or dare?"

While Bill's booming words surely promised some entertainment, Sean couldn't help but be distracted by the way Kaycee had planted herself next to him. Bill, Ginny, George, Fred and Hermione sat in chairs. Next to Hermione's chair was a loveseat where Ron had stretched himself out on, and next to Ron was the couch Sean had been reading a book on when Fred started this whole game. No one else had been sitting on the couch, but when everyone began making a circle with their chairs, Kaycee had walked towards him, and had plopped herself on the couch, her right thigh fully touching his left one.

It was funny, he mused, how everything he had known about the connection between his thoughts and his body had been turned upside down since he had fallen in love with her. His body used to be something that made it possible to express his thoughts. It was something convenient, but also something that could never signify as much to him as his thoughts did. Oh, how naïve he had been. His thoughts were still the most important thing to him, and he was, by now, pretty sure that that would never change, but he had also realised that he had underestimated every physical aspect of life tremendously.

The hot, but not uncomfortable tingles that spread itself from his thigh to the rest of his body were the clearest example of that.

"Dare!"

"This is going to be so much fun."

The last sentence was said by Kaycee, who was biting her lip to prevent her mischievous grin from becoming too obvious. He couldn't help but admire her sitting there, pressed close to him, undoubtedly planning something inside that brilliant head of hers.

"Ha! That was peanuts! You should've known that was too easy for me, William! Anyway, Kaycee, truth or dare?"

Sean had just been about to ask what he had had to do, when George -now only in his boxers, Sean noticed- put Kaycee in the spotlight. His attention was brought back to her, because he expected her to feel uncomfortable with everyone looking at her, but to his surprise, nothing was further from the truth. That glint in her eyes was still there, and she was positively beaming at George.

What was she up to?

"Truth!"

She said it with such enthusiasm, and Sean truly found it endearing how she really didn't seem to notice George's disappointment and Ron's bored expression as a reaction to her choice.

"Okay then....let me think...alright, better go for a classic question with a classic answer: who's the sexiest in this room?"

And while George asked this, everyone in the room started booming with laughter.

He had stood up from his chair and had walked to the middle of the circle in a way that was questionable, but totally hilarious. When he reached the middle, he had started taking on different poses, ranging from laying his hands on his hips and dramatically throwing his head in his neck to arching his back and letting everyone take a good look at those quidditch boxers.

"Y-you are, of c-course. Always....always you George"

Sean was the one beaming at Kaycee now, since she had managed to crack everyone up all over again. They all knew -including George- that Kaycee was completely kidding, but that didn't matter. They were happy, Sean realised, and in this old, cursed house, being happy together was something that should be cherished.

After the loud laughing of the room had morphed into genuine smiles on everyone's face, Kaycee continued.

"Ron! You're up. Truth or dare?"

They all knew his answer even before he had said it.

"Why even bother asking? A dare for me!"

Besides him, Sean noticed Kaycee leaning forward a little bit. Her plan was starting, he realised.

"I dare you to pick a girl in this room and let her sit on your lap for the rest of the game."

Ron's eyes almost popped out of his head when he realised which girls were currently in the room, and Sean had to refrain himself from openly exclaiming how much of a genius Kaycee was. Casually dropping his arm on the back of the couch behind her would have to suffice for now.

"Uhm..well..."

Sean saw from the corner of his eye that Hermione had started nervously squirming in her seat, undoubtedly coming to the same conclusion: Ron's answer was a given, but the way he would actually execute the dare, would reveal a lot.

He couldn't pick Kaycee, everyone knew that she was unofficially taken. Sean was sure as well that Ron wasn't willing to risk his friendship with him over a dare. Then you had Ginny, but just like everyone knew Kaycee was off limits, they were also sure that Ginny would hex him if he even tried to pull her on his lap. Sean could already envision her yelling about how she wasn't little anymore while chasing him through the house, trying to cast a bat-bogey hex. No, Ginny wasn't an option either.

Finally, there was Hermione.

By now, Ron's ears had gotten the colour of his last christmas jumper, and Sean knew the boy didn't have much time left before someone else would make a comment that would, without a doubt, be far more embarrassing than him just choosing Hermione.

"H-Mione, are you okay with this?"

Something about the way he said it made Sean's heart swell. He'd never noticed before, but when Ron spoke to Hermione, his voice got softer, and this time it almost sounded concerned, genuine, caring.

Hermione shyly nodded her head, but with a small smile gracing her features. She got up from her chair and walked towards Ron with admirably confident strides, until she stood directly in front of him. Sean saw her hesitate, not really knowing what to do with her body, until Ron carefully took her arm and brought it towards him, causing the rest of her body to follow her arm and quite naturally sit on Ron's lap. Her legs were on his right side, and Ron's hand that had taken her arm earlier hadn't released that arm yet, instead choosing to wrap both of his arms around her waist and taking hers with it.

He saw Hermione's smile brighten, and he knew she was desperately trying to act like she didn't care all that much about the dare. She was also failing miserably.

"Maybe you should try holding me like that someday. Don't they look cute? I'm sure we could pull of that look as well."

Kaycee's breath tickled his neck, her voice reaching his ears but her mouth not really being able to because she was so small, even while sitting on a couch. He grinned, lowering his own head and just slightly touching her ear with his lips. She shivered.

"You're such a tease, Kayc...maybe I should, but let them have their moment now, I'm pretty sure they're enjoying it."

She looked him in the eyes this time, and the teasing glint had made place for a look of pure happiness. His heart started swelling again.

They were on their way to being official, Sean knew as much after all those letters during the summer, her bone-crushing hug upon seeing him again and the teasing tone she used just a second ago. He was certain that there was no one else he'd rather be in a relationship with, but he also quite liked their dynamic right now. They were mature enough for such a commitment, all their adventures had made them grow up just a bit faster than an average teenager, but they would be mature enough in a few weeks as well. There was no need to hurry.

The smile on his face stayed put as he slowly started to realise throughout the evening that a future with Kaycee as his girlfriend was actually real. She would be his, if not now, then in a little bit, and that knowledge made him feel invincible.

After moving his arm from behind Kaycee to her right shoulder, slightly tugging her into his side -she complied willingly-, he let his gaze wander around the room again. Harry was currently trying to beat Fred at arm wrestling, and the rest of the group had chosen who they were rooting for, encouraging their favourite to keep going. His eyes caught sight of Ron and Hermione, the two still enjoying their closeness, and Sean was certain that while he and Kaycee were going in a good direction, Ron and Hermione definitely weren't far behind.

Not with the way Ron's fingers had by now intertwined themselves with Hermione's.

And he was so happy for them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autumn

Kaycee Granger couldn't fall asleep.

Every time she closed her eyes, her vision was plagued by flashes of worst case scenarios, and Professor Umbridge's voice cut through her head.

Sean was serving his first detention with the scary, pink-clad professor tonight, and she didn't have a good feeling about it. Not at all.

She turned herself around again, plopping down on her other side on the mattress. As soon as her eyes caught sight of the large clock on the wall opposite of her, a desperate sigh left her lips. 11:14 am. How was she supposed to stay in this bed for at least another 7 hours while the worries crept through her head and her blanket felt like a spiderweb she couldn't get her legs out of?

She groaned into her pillow, so frustrated that she couldn't do anything.

Or could she?

She immediately sat straight up, tossing those terrible blankets off of her and swinging her legs over her bedside.

Boys couldn't go into the girls' dormitories, but girls could go inside of the boys ones!

She stood up, careful not to wake up the other girls in her room, and walked out of the dormitories.

She started walking faster and faster, turning around corners and skipping stairs. All she could think about was Sean, and how she wanted to be with him, now rather than in a few minutes.

She came to a halt, however, in front of the door that led to the Ravenclaw common room, when she realised that the only way she could get into the tower was by knowing the correct answer to the riddle. Now, Kaycee didn't think of herself as a dumb person, but there was something about the riddles of the Ravenclaw door that just made them unsolvable to any non-Ravenclaw.

She had to know. She had to know. She had to get to him.

"What gets broken without being held?"

Her last bit of hope sunk to her shoes upon hearing the door's low, creaking voice.

She wracked her head for the correct answer, she truly tried, but her despair was making everything inside of her head muddled, unreachable.

"I-I don't know, but please let me inside. I don't mean any harm, I just want to check on my....my friend. His name is S-"

The door flew open. Scared at the sudden movement, she took a step backwards, but her smile grew. The door had let her inside!

"Thank you, uhm ..."

"You don't think the door let you in by itself, now do you, Kaycee Granger? I let you in. If Neville would have served a detention for Professor Umbridge, I would've liked to be with him as well."

For the second time in only a few seconds, her heart skipped a beat from shock. She hadn't seen anyone in the common room before, too overjoyed with her belief that the door had let her in. Now that she took a second look though, she saw Luna, laying upside down on one of the couches, almost lazily moving her wand, letting silver streams burst out of it. When Kaycee looked up, she saw that the streams formed a portrait of Neville on the ceiling.

"Luna, hi. Thank you so much."

She would've hugged her friend if it wasn't for the beautiful drawing on the ceiling. She didn't want to interrupt the steady stream of silver coming from Luna's wand.

"You're welcome, Kaycee. That's what friends are for, isn't it? Now go, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

She didn't need to be told twice. She hurried to the stairs, jogging to their top, and swept the door of the 5th year boys' dormitories.

And then, she stopped. She had been so frantic after her realisation that seeing him was, in fact, a possibility, that she hadn't taken the time reflect on her decision to actually go to him.

When she saw him, time simply stopped. He was sitting on his bed, shirtless, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands supporting his head.

Hesitantly, she stepped forward, but still not enough for Sean to see her. She spoke up then, her voice a wavering whisper, afraid of waking the other people in the room, and perhaps, afraid of unlocking whatever emotion he was undoubtedly feeling at that moment.

"Sean?"

It was more of a question than a salutation, but Kaycee didn't really know what she was asking.

Are you okay? What did Umbridge do? Can I come closer?

Maybe it was all of those together.

Sean turned around upon hearing her voice, and Kaycee couldn't help but notice that the movement was slow, strained, nothing like the normal smoothness his actions carried.

He looked her straight in the eye, and they stayed like that for a while, just staring at each other, reading the other, allowing themselves to calm down. Then, Sean finally said something back to her.

"Kayc...come here."

She didn't hesitate for a second, walking up to him and seating herself on his bed. She wrapped both her arms and her legs around him then, letting her cheek rest against his, gently rocking them back and forth. After some time, her cheeks were wet, but she wasn't sure if it were his or her tears. Did it really matter, anyway?

"What did she do?"

"She...I had to write down a sentence with a special pen, over and over again. The pen...Kaycee, please don't freak out, but..."

She was going to encourage him to continue, when she saw exactly what he didn't say with his mouth. He had brought his hand upwards, firstly brushing her hair out of her face, and then turning the palm of his hand so she could see what was wrong.

I must not underestimate the importance of Ms. Umbridge's lessons.

Kaycee's breath caught in her throat, her mind knowing perfectly well what had happened, but her heart was having difficulties accepting that someone could be so cruel.

"Kaycee...can you....can you stay tonight, please?"

She didn't need to think about that. Of course she would stay, even if that meant that his dorm mates would laugh at them, not to mention the rumours that would undoubtedly spread around the school.

Kaycee nodded her head and turned away from him, drawing the curtains around his four poster bed closed.

She had barely shut the last curtain when she felt Sean's hand enclose around her wrist, impatiently, but ever gently pulling her towards his body. He wrapped one arm around her waist, decently, but definitely not platonically. The other one was brought to her head, weaving his fingers through her hair, and when she threw one of her legs over his waist and quickly kissed his bare collarbone, she could feel him sigh.

"Go to sleep Sean. You know you need it now. I'll be here."

And after a few minutes, when his breath had evened out and she was sure that he had fallen asleep, she continued.

"I'll always be here, Shamu. For the rest of my life, whenever you need me, I'll be here. I...I love you."

He didn't hear her say I love you anymore, already unconscious after all the pain he had endured that evening, but when he woke up in the morning, his limbs intertwined with hers, surrounded by her warmth, he did feel loved.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Winter

"Are you okay, mate? You look really pale. It isn't because of what we're going to do next, is it? We practiced it so much! You'll do fine!"

But Sean saw that Ron's words hadn't managed to calm Neville down enough. The ginger was right though, they had indeed practiced a long time before finally deciding it was time for action. Neville seemed to second guess himself, though.

It had all begun around Christmas, when Neville had finally admitted to Harry, Ron and Sean that he liked Luna, a lot. Together, they had decided that something needed to be done, something that would let Luna know Neville was definitely interested, while also being risk-free. With Neville's anxiety level, they had to make sure that their plan worked immediately, since the shy boy definitely wouldn't have the confidence to flirt with her more than once.

Ron had come up with cooking her dinner -something which had left Sean positively surprised- but Neville had immediately declined, telling them about the time he had almost burned down his Gran's entire house just because he was craving pudding. Then Harry had thought about inviting her to his home this summer holiday, reasoning that she would probably understand how important she was for him if he let her meet his gran, but once again, Neville had shook his head. While his gran didn't hate the Lovegood's, she'd always been judgemental about their alternative way of thinking, and he didn't want Luna to be confronted with that just yet. By then, Sean had wracked his brain as well, trying to come up with something that wasn't necessarily cute in the eyes of society, but cute in a way that would be perfect both for the sake of getting the message across to Luna and pumping up Neville's self-esteem. To his great disappointment though, he couldn't come up with anything. They had almost given up by the time Harry had mentioned that they should probably head to the Room of Requirement to start their DA practice, when Sean had promptly stood up.

"I know exactly what we have to do!"

The others had looked at him, confused. Sean hadn't cared though, as he had started explaining.

"We find a spell that's usable, and you, Harry teach us that one during a DA practice. Everyone will hear and practice the spell for the first time there, except for us. We're going to make sure that you, Neville, are an absolute natural when it comes to that spell before we teach it in the DA. That way, Harry can immediately notice that you did it correctly, and ask you to go around and help the other students. And what do you do then, Neville?"

Neville had remained clueless during Sean's explanation, so he had stayed silent. When it had dawned on Sean that his friend wasn't going to answer, he had given the answer himself.

"You're going help Luna! Compliment her, stand behind her and take her arm to show how she has to move her hand. Touch her, but be a gentleman about it, alright?"

Ron's eyes had began to glim with excitement, and Harry had smiled at the prospect of his two friends finally being able to express their feelings for each other.

It was right then and there that they had started tutoring Neville.

It was also the first time all of them, including Harry, had showed up late for a DA practice.

Now, several weeks later, Harry started the final part of their plan.

"Good evening, everyone!"

A chorus of excited greetings sounded throughout the large room, and Sean saw that Harry started to smile.

"Today, we're going to work on a very intricate, but important charm. I'm going to try to learn you guys how to create a patronus!"

Harry had to wait a while for the students to calm down, but eventually, everyone focused on him again, eager to learn the intricate charm.

Sean watched with a warm smile on his face while his friend started explaining in detail what they had to think about, and how they had to move their wand. He was proud of Harry, and the way he put aside his insecurities to teach people things that would undoubtedly be useful in the future. The near future, unfortunately. No-one said it out loud, but they all felt it. This was the moment they had to prepare for what was about to come, and Sean doubted Harry realised how important he was to all of the people inside this room. As a friend, and as a teacher.

"Alright, let's try this. I want you guys to pair up. One person tries to cast the charm, and the other one watches so they're able to correct any mistakes. Please pay attention while your partner is casting the spell. You'd be surprised with just how much you learn from only watching someone."

"I can't do this, Sean. Please give me some of your wisdom right now, because I'm about to mess up tremendously."

Neville was the one speaking, of course. He talked in a hurried whisper to Sean, and the Ravenclaw had to fight the urge to flinch at Neville's use of the word 'wisdom'. He wasn't freaking Merlin, for God's sake.

"Neville, really, you're going to be fine. I've seen the way Luna looks at you as well, and I'm telling you that she definitely doesn't see you as a brother, or a cousin or something like that. And what about that time she started to defend you against Malfoy? Don't think Kaycee didn't tell me. She could've come up to you afterwards to check if you were okay, but she didn't. She went straight up against Malfoy, something people don't do a lot. Luna truly cares about you, Neville, but you're a pureblood. You should know better than I that in the wizarding world, everything happens a bit more traditionally than in the muggle world, and that you should take initiative as the guy, in this case. Now go to her, before she decides that the blibbering humdinger can be her partner."

So Neville did. Sean saw him trying to hide his trembling hands behind his back, which made him look even more awkward, but that all disappeared when Luna noticed him, and asked him if he wanted to be her partner while keeping her hand on his bicep, probably unconciously trying to prevent Neville from walking away. As if he would.

"I'm sorry I'm late, did something happen yet?"

It was Kaycee, suddenly standing next to him, her hand on his back as a silent reminder that she was actually here, unharmed. Sean had known she'd be a little bit later, since she had promised Hagrid to dogsit Fang while he went to diagon Alley to pick up some things. Sean had to admit that he had worried about her before she arrived. Not because she had been with Fang alone, he loved that dog, but because she'd come to the Room of Requirement all alone. If someone had seen her, they would've undoubtedly questioned why she was pacing in front of a wall, and he didn't want anyone to be suspicious about her.

"Nothing happened, except for Luna laying her hand on Neville's bicep. Did everything go well with you?"

"Don't worry so much Sean, I was careful. No one followed me, no one even saw me. I heard there was a party in the Slytherin common room, so there weren't many people in the corridors to begin with. But enough of that, are you going to show me your patronus skills, or are you going to stand here all evening, mr Lew?"

He couldn't help but grin at her, murmuring that she should 'step aside, ms Granger', which she did, very demonstratively.

He closed his eyes then, trying to savour the feeling of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He knew that was a cliché way of describing it, but it was the most accurate thing he could come up with, so he decided to stick with that description. Her voice filled his ears, saying all the things she wrote in her letters over the summer. He felt her body again, how she had wrapped herself around him when she first saw him in Grimmauld Place, or how she had cuddled up to him after he had had his first detention with Umbridge. The way she always knew what he was going to say, her breath tickling his neck when she tried to whisper something in his ear...

"Expect-"

"Sean! I'm so sorry, but you have to see this!"

He had abruptly opened his eyes again, slightly annoyed that she had stopped what would undoubtedly have been a strong patronus. He soon forgot his irritation though. Kaycee had covered his arm with hers, acting like she was helping him, while in reality, something entirely different left her mouth.

"Look at Neville and Luna. On your left. Don't be so obvious about it!"

He did what she asked, and got indeed rewarded with a heartwarming sight.

Neville stood behind Luna, practically towering over her with how tall he'd become over the last few months. His hand covered hers, moving with a gentleness Sean didn't know Neville possessed, and when he looked closer, he saw that Luna was leaning back slightly, bringing her back in contact with Neville's chest.

Sean tore his eyes away from his friends, looking at Kaycee again. A feeling of exhilaration flowed through his veins, and when he caught sight of the glistening in Kaycee's eyes, he knew she felt the same way.

"It worked, didn't it?"

He knew he was beaming now, but he couldn't help it. There was something so pure about Neville and Luna, so delicate and beautiful. He wanted them to find love in each other so badly, most of all because it was so obvious they were ready to give their love to each other. Only they had yet to see that.

"It did. You did so well Shamu. I'm proud of you."

And while she invigorated her words with a kiss on his cheek, he knew that he truly had.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spring

Kaycee hated the way her footsteps echoed through the hallway. It was a deep, hollow sound, only intensified by the silence that was all around her. But she had to go on. It was her duty.

Harry was sleeping, but there was nothing peaceful about him. He was tossing and turning, his body moving against an invisible enemy. The scar on his forehead started to glow, and the longer Kaycee looked, the brighter his scar lit up, until the whole room was bathing in the angry red hue it emitted. And then suddenly, she wasn't in Harry's dorm anymore. She couldn't really see where she was, because her head was buried in someone's chest, and she knew by the rhythm of rising and deflating that it was Sean's. When she lifted her head, she had to put both of her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. The red hue had apparently traveled with her - if what she did even counted as travelling. She had to close her eyes to protect herself against the air. It wasn't only red now, it also seemed to move, to pound, even. All that wasn't the thing that alarmed her the most, though. It definitely wasn't pleasant either, but it was nothing compared to the feeling that was slowly creeping inside of her. A feeling that told her something was about to go irrevocably wrong.

She had woken up then, drops of sweat beading on her forehead, ready to slide down her cheek. Goosebumps had erupted on her arm, and her blankets had once again felt like a prison.

The more time that passed, the more eager she was to get to Harry, and Sean. To stop whatever it was they were going to do. She felt responsable, and she knew she'd carry the guilt forever if something -whatever it was- happened if she hadn't done everything in her power to stop it.

The truth was that this wasn't the first time she'd had a feeling like this. It was more than just a gut feeling, this was bigger than just her, she had figured out that much already. She had felt it for the first time in her second year, in the months before they discovered that Ron's rat was Peter Pettigrew. Kaycee had never really thought about Scabbers, she hadn't hated him, but she hadn't been particularly fond of him either. Until second year. Then, she suddenly grew wary of the rat, even if she didn't know why herself. After Pettigrew had been discovered, she'd forgotten about the special feeling, until she was in her third year, when the maze that was built for the final task of the Triwizarding Tournament started to give her a pounding headache as well. Soon though, Cedric Diggory had gotten dragged out of the maze, and Kaycee had crumpled in the arms of her sister, not longer thinking about the strange feeling. It was only at home this summer that she finally allowed herself to think about it. Days had passed, but she hadn't been able to figure out what it meant, or why she seemed to be the only one who experienced it. She had made a vow to herself though. She'd act upon the feeling the second she would feel it again.

That second had arrived now. And Kaycee wasn't one to neglect her promises.

She turned a corner, the feeling morphing into an invisisble power that lead her. She had no clue where she was heading, but she did know she was taking the right way. Her heart was racing, faster and faster, until she felt like her lungs would rip out of her chest. She couldn't stop.

Another corner.

And then finally, after what felt like hours of running and panicking, she saw them. They stood outside, Harry, Ron, Sean, Hermione, Luna and Neville. She looked closer, trying to figure out why they were there, and how it connected to her frantic feeling, but she couldn't figure it out immediately, so she raced down the stairs to get to them. Every second counted now, she could feel it.

"S-ea....Hermione....stop!"

They all looked at her approaching form, clearly surprised.

"What are you planning? Actually, I don't even need to know in detail, I just wan- no, need to say that it's not going to go well, it's going to end disastrous, you....you can't go through with it."

She was completely out of breath, but she noticed that the power leading her had stopped giving her directions, and that while the red hue was still there, it had somehow become bearable to look around.

"Kaycee...you, do you even know what is going on?"

She looked at Harry, and couldn't help but think back to her nightmare, or vision, or whatever it was. She knew right then and there that there was only one way to convince them.

"You were sleeping in your dorm, Harry, but you were having a nightmare, or something like that. You were tossing and turning in your bed, and I don't know if you were able to notice, but your scar lit up, a red colour spreading around the room."

5 pairs of eyes looked at her, mouth slightly agape. No-one said anything, making the grasshoppers sound deafening, there, on the border of the Forbidden Forest.

"Harry?"

Everyone knew Hermione was not just saying something, she was asking.

And Harry answered.

He didn't say anything out loud, but he started to nod slowly, still afraid of breaking the silence.

Kaycee smelled her chance.

"You can't go, don't you see? I'm begging you-"

"Kaycee, Kaycee...you don't...we have to go, Sirius is in danger. Please, don't keep us here any longer, every second counts. I...I'm not ready to lose another person I love."

If Kaycee wouldn't have agreed with him that every second counted, she would've realised he was taking time to calm her down, even though he was so convinced of the fact that he needed to go save Sirius. She would've appreciated it, even, but now, with the pounding of the air becoming stronger again while Harry spoke, she really couldn't help but focus on her goal.

"Harry...I can't describe it, but I have this bad feeling, and, and you need to believe me..."

But Kaycee fell silent, only now looking into Harry's eyes and seeing the determination, the desperation there. He wasn't going to stay.

"I'm sorry, Kaycee. I need to make sure he's okay."

"I'm staying here."

Everyone looked at where the voice came from, to Luna. Her eyes were still those almost-surprised, light orbs, but there was an unmistakable hint of worry in them as well, and Kaycee felt the pounding around her become just slightly less intense.

"No...I, I'm sorry Kaycee, but I want to help Harry. He's my friend, I mean, you are as well of course, but if he thinks his godfather is in danger...No-one should have to go through losing a father figure at this age"

They all felt the weight of Neville's words, and it became silent again, all under the impression that immediately speaking again would dishonor the same 2 adults that were in everyone's mind at the moment.

"I'm coming. I'm sorry Kaycee, please don't take this personal. Hermione?"

Ron had asked the bushy haired girl, and something in his eyes gave away that he actually wanted her to stay, but Hermione was already moving her head, confirming what Kaycee had already been afraid of.

"Kaycee..."

It was in that exact moment that Kaycee felt her breath constrict, defeated. Sean took a few tentative steps towards her. When she didn't react, he took another two, until her chest touched his, both of them breathing heavily.

"I am truly sorry, Kaycee. I just...I need to go, I need to help them. Do you understand that?"

She nodded at him, not because she agreed, but because she knew no-one would be able to understand what she was feeling.

"Please me careful, okay? Come back the second you suspect something is wrong, the second your gut feeling tells you to. Promise me Sean."

She had brought her head to his, instinctively feeling the need to, to make him understand the importance of what she said. He had placed his hands on her upper arms, lowering his head as well, his forehead connecting with hers. They stood there for a while, the people, the trees, and the red hue around them forgotten. This was their moment.

"I promise to return as soon as possible, and to do everything in my power to keep everyone safe. I love you, Kaycee Granger."

It was the first time he had said it out loud, directly to her, and as she stood there with the cold night air hitting her body, she wished it would've been in different circumstances. Sometimes though, you don't get to choose the important moments of your life, and Kaycee would make sure that if this was the last time she would ever see Sean, she at least told him her true feelings as well.

"I love you too, Sean. Come back to me."

She had to bite her lip to stop herself from sobbing right then.

"Go."

It was a simple command, the longest one she could manage, really. If they stayed any longer, she'd go insane. And they all knew.

No words were said anymore as they turned around, and left, one by one, until Kaycee and Luna were the only ones standing outside of the castle. Wordlessly, she turned around, wrapping her arms around Luna, who did the same to her.

Only time would offer wisdom on how this would go. she hadn't wanted them to leave, but she'd seen the determination in Harry's eyes. Her task had been an impossible one, but that didn't lessen the fear, or the guilt.

So she waited, hoping, praying, that her loved ones would return to her.

Hoping that the bad feeling that was twisting her insides and pushing cold sweat out of her wouldn't win.

Not again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Ms Granger,

I'm pleased to be able to write to you that my quest for answers on what exactly happened right before the so-called 'battle of the department of mysteries' has been a success. I'd like to discuss some of those possibilities with you, but I don't want to write them down. Your sister would undoubtedly get inquisitive - which is a good trait to have in most cases, to be clear - and I want to be there when you come to some of the conclusions I recently have. Your sister also told me you'd be on vacation during this period of time, and of course I do not wish to get you back from that earlier. I would like to meet some time before the new school year starts though. Is it okay for you and your sister to come to Hogsmeade on the 25th of August? I'll let Hagrid meet you there to get you through the Hogwarts' wards.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

PS: I have a feeling my sherbet lemon addiction will act out again during that time of the year ;)

[runenc03]

HH - Kaycee’s third year (part 4)

Writing date: November 2019

Genre: fluff fluff fluff. They’re starting to grow into their feelings though :)

Warnings: Nope, no warnings. I actually really like this chapter!

Word count: 7.9k

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer

He felt her before he saw her.

The tight pressure of her arms wrapped around his middle, the curve of her lips caused by her face being buried in the crook of his neck, her shriek of happiness filling his ears.

His smile doubled in brightness.

And to think he actually didn't want to come to the Quidditch World Cup. He had never been really into Quidditch, despite going to many Hogwarts matches to cheer for Harry. It just wasn't as exciting for him as for some other people. Ron had been nagging him about coming together with the Weasley's, trying to pursuade him by saying that Molly missed him, or that it'd be good for him to get used to magic again a little before the school year started. Nothing had helped though, and Ron had given up, when Sean had realised something very important:

Hermione had told him she would be staying with the Weasley's around that time.

Which meant Kaycee would be coming as well.

"Nice to see you too, Kayc."

The short girl lifted her head, positively beaming at him, eyes shining. Oh, how he'd missed that face.

"I missed you so much."

It was hard for Sean to put to words how strongly he felt it within him when she said those 5 words, so he concentrated on absorbing as much of her scent and warmth as possible for now.

"You have no idea how much I missed you, Kayc."

He wanted to stay there forever, basking in the sunlight of the field they were on, the excited buzz of people surrounding them, Kaycee's hair slightly tickling his jaw because she had tucked her head under his chin. Not that he minded.

What did bother him, however, was Ron's yelling seemingly becoming louder with every passing second. He tried to ignore it at first, but reacting just became inevitable after a while.

"Hey, Kaycee, I just found a really great spot to see the next match! If you come quickly, it won't be crowded yet! Oh, hi Sean."

Sean stayed silent, not really knowing what to say to such an utterly insensible act, but Kaycee lifted her head off of his chest.

He saw her uneasy smile towards Ron, but it didn't compensate for the empty spot on his chest completely.

"Yes, alright, I'll come with you Ron."

And that's when she seperated herself completely from his body. He couldn't really blame her, it was only logical that she wanted a good spot to look at the Quidditch game. It had been proven multiple times already that her height, as adorable as he thought that trait of her's was, was often challenging when it came to watching Quidditch matches. He couldn't help but long for a moment to themselves again though, without anyone interrupting.

But his semi-sulking session was cut short soon by Kaycee, who was shaking her curls, trying to get them to behave, even though he found her curls beautiful no matter what. When she was satisfied with her hair, Sean had just enough time to catch himself staring before she turned around again, looking expectantly at him with a broad smile, her eyes slightly squinted because of the sunlight.

"Shamu, are you coming, or are you going to stand there all day?"

He smiled back at her, and started to jog to catch up on her.

And when he walked next to her and the back of her hand brushed against his by accident, he sighed in contentment.

He was ready for a new year full of magic.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Autumn

"HARRY POTTER"

Sean's hand had immediately enclosed itself around Kaycee's wrist when Dumbledore had repeated himself, louder than the first time he had said Harry's name. They had all been in the Great Hall to finally find out who the contestants of the triwizarding tournament would be, and no one had expected Harry's name to come out of the renowned goblet.

Instantly, the Great Hall had been filled with urgent whispers from students, guests and teachers. The atmosphere had managed to get dark within seconds, and Sean hadn't known if it was just him who had felt so cold inside, or if there had actually been some sort of magic that had made the temperature of the Hall decrease rapidly.

Next to him, Hermione had turned her back to him, facing Harry and ushering him forward.

He had seen the hesitation in his friend's steps, the way his hands had clung to the side of his pants, a habit Sean knew he had created out of fear of not having a good grip on his wand when he was sweating in stressful situations.

Suddenly, someone had shouted, effectively overpowering all the other voices:

"He's a cheat!"

The shout had immediately been followed by someone else yelling that Harry wasn't even seventeen yet, and Sean had only been able to watch his friend's shoulders slump with every audible comment.

Then, when Harry had finally reached the other contentants, he had turned around, and his eyes had locked with Sean's.

The Ravenclaw had seen a lot of emotions swirling inside Harry's eyes, but the deep, raw fear was definitely the superior emotion swirling inside his orbs. Harry had been completely, utterly engulfed in fright, and Sean had felt the goosebumps on his arms erupt.

It was in that moment that he had vowed to himself that he would do everything in his power to help Harry.

And up until now, he had. Harry's name had come out of the goblet exactly thirteen days ago, and Sean had kept his promise. He had spent more time in the library than in the last 3 years together, searching for the right books to help his friend, reading them, taking notes and putting the information he collected into complicated schemes until even he couldn't see the logic in after a while.

To say that he was exhausted was an understatement.

"Mr Lew, I was kind enough the last time. Please give me the books you're reading now and leave the library. Your sudden obsession shouldn't interfere with my night rest."

Sean's back promptly straightened upon hearing the librarian's voice, and he felt his neck muscles protest at the sudden turn his head made. That was going to hurt tomorrow.

"My apologies, Madam Pince, I'll make sure-"

"I'll make sure he'll get to his common room safely, Madam Pince. Come on Sean, hurry up. It's too late to read something other than fictional stories."

This time around, both his and Madam Pince's head turned around abruptly. In the doorway of the library, a few feet away from him, stood Kaycee. She was wearing light pink pyjamas with little white dots on it and her hair was down, falling in dark ringlets past her shoulders.

"Shamu, are you coming, or are you going to sit there all night? You know Madam Pince wants to go to sleep, and I know that you could use some of that as well."

Kaycee's first sentence promptly brought him back to the last time she had said something along those lines, back to better times, when the only thing on his mind had been Ron interrupting their little moments. He hadn't even thought about Ron in the last month.

He stood up, quickly collecting his books and giving them to the librarian. It was only when he gave her the books that he was close enough to see the bags under her eyes, and a wave of guilt washed over him, knowing he had been the one who had been keeping her up for the past 6 weeks.

Thankfully, Madam Pince seemed to realise he felt guilty, for she gave him a small smile and a barely noticeable nod.

"Good night, Mr Lew."

He smiled back at the older lady and walked towards Kaycee, feeling his smile change from slightly awkward to genuinely happy. They began walking out of the library together.

"Let's get you to your common room, Lew."

Sean quirked his eyebrow.

"That doesn't make any sense Kayc, my common room is in a tower, yours is next to the kitchens. We're going to your common room first, and I promise you that I'm going straight to my common room as soon as you're safely inside yours."

But Kaycee was already shaking her head, her eyes closed and her eyebrows high, trying to make a strict face to show how much she disagreed with his plan.

"We're definitely not going to do that. I am going to bring you to your common room, and then I'm going to return. You have been doing research for way too long, and I do understand that you want to help Harry because I do too! I care about him a lot and I want to help him as well. The difference is that I understand that I'm not going to be able to fully support him if I'm dead inside, like you've been for the last 2 weeks, no offence. Also-"

Her words didn't seem to register anymore, his brain was way too tired for that, he could only focus on one thing at a time. For now, that thing was to get her safely inside her common room, no matter how hard she protested. Instead of listening to her, he automatically seemed to focus on the expressions she made, how her curls bounced as she moved her head, how her hands made such graceful gestures, trying to put more power to her words.

"And so it's more important for you to get more sleep tonight than I do than the other way around. I mean, I-Oh."

Kaycee had promptly stopped rambling when she finally took the time to look at her surroundings, and discovered that they had, in fact, walked to her common room, and not his. She faced him now, eyebrows furrowed, about to open her mouth again when Sean stopped her.

"Shh Kayc. It's okay. I'll promise to go to bed now, you've convinced me that it's important to get rest. Go inside now, I'm not the only one it's late for."

She was smiling again, and he noticed only now that the right side of her mouth went up a little more than the left side. She studied his face, her smile dropping a tiny bit when her eyes rested on the bags under his, but going up again when her eyes locked on his. She nodded.

"Alright, good night, Shamu."

She turned around now, took a few steps away from him, and Sean already felt colder than when she was by his side. She had already tapped the common room door in the rhythm of Helga Hufflepuff, and it had already given her access, when the words tumbled out of his mouth:

"Do you want to go to the Yule Ball with me?"

She turned around, surprise sketched on her face. It was only then that he realised what he had said, and he was about to open his mouth again to apologise, when she beat him to it.

Her surprised expression morphed into a warm smile again, her eyes shining brighter than they had all night.

"I would love to."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Winter

"Oh dear, Kaycee, you look breathtaking!"

Kaycee, turned around, looking at her sister with doubts swirling around in her mind. Was she as beautiful as her sister claimed?

"I-I don't know Mione. As beautiful as this dress is, I just feel like it's somehow too pretty for me, and tonight I need to...well, I need to be perfect."

At Kaycee's words, Hermione walked towards her sister, standing beside her and gazing in the mirror the Room of Requirement had been so kind to let appear for them.

"Kaycee Caitlin Granger. You see, there's this really important thing you're completely overlooking. You are stunning just as you are, every single day. You see this dress? It doesn't make you any more beautiful than usual, it just emphasizes what's there every day: your light, Kaycee. You are glowing, shining, lighting up a room when you walk inside. It's been this way since you were born. I still question why mum and dad never favoured you over the rest of us. I've never been jealous of it though. I am proud, Kaycee Granger, to be your sister. You are such an amazing human being and I'm proud of the extraordinary young woman you have become. I love you so much."

Kaycee could only smile, her eyes closed to prevent them from watering, searching with her hand for her sister's, and when she found it, giving it a little squeeze.

Hermione understood.

"Let's go, Kaycee."

And then the sentence that made the butterflies in Kaycee's stomach come to life:

"I bet Sean's already waiting for you."

Kaycee opened her eyes and looked straight forward, right into the mirror.

Her smile stayed.

In fact, it only brightened even more when she arrived at the top of the staircase, because Sean was standing at the base of it.

Sean. Shamu. The one she used to see as a wonderful friend. The guy, she started to realise during her second year, who made her skin tingle every time he took her hand, or gave her a hug. The person who, since the Quidditch world cup a few weeks ago, was the subject of all her dreams, dreams in which he held her hand in another way than what he did now, dreams in which he called her 'love', and 'darling', dreams in which they cuddled and once even kissed.

She could no longer deny what that all meant.

Still, she was content being just his friend. It meant she didn't have to confront him about her feelings, while still being able to be close to him. And with the way he looked at her while she came down the grand staircase, she definitely wasn't complaining anytime soon.

"You, Kaycee Granger, look absolutely breathtaking."

He said it with a breathy voice too, as if what he was saying was literally true. His eyes had a twinkle in them, his dimples ever-present.

"Thank you. You too, Sean."

And while she had been talking about him as a person, she realised now that the clothes he was wearing definitely did some good as well. His dress shirt was white, and the sleeves were rolled up, showing the veins on his arm. It was neatly tucked into his black pants, and his shoes shone, reflecting the candlelights that floated through the corridor.

"Ready to show them your dance moves?"

She laughed at that, both of them knowing that they would only get to slow dance. Not that she was complaining. She nodded, and together, they walked into the magestically decorated Great Hall.

That night was turning into the best of her life so far. She swirled around gracefully on the dance floor, without a care in the world, the music flowing through her veins, Sean's hand on the small of her back, her hands on his chest. She wished she could freeze the time and live in this moment forever, for this moment was absolutely, utterly and unquestionably perfect.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why tonight?

It was a question she'd asked herself multiple times in the last half an hour.

Only 2 hours ago, she and Sean had stood at the base of the staircase, gazing at eachother. Everything after that -up until half an hour ago of course- had been an absolute dream. Kaycee had never ever wanted the evening to end, as cliché as that sounded.

Now, however, she wanted to go back in time, and not necessarily to do one more magical dance with Sean. While she had discovered that that was her favourite thing in the world, it was -looking back at it- way more important to make sure Ron would keep his mouth shut.

"Shh...Mione, it's all going to be okay, I promise you."

Hermione's crying didn't decrease one bit, however, and Kaycee was afraid it wouldn't stop anytime soon.

"B-but, you guys...you don't- he said that I was a-a traitor for going to the ball with the enemy."

Kaycee was just about to make sure her sister knew she wasn't a traitor, when she saw Sean stand up abruptly. He had been sitting on the other side of Hermione, and together they had been trying to cheer her up, but apparently, he suddenly had other plans.

"Hey hey hey, where are you going?"

Kaycee couldn't really keep the annoyance out of her voice. Sean had always been such a selfless, loyal person to his friends, and she didn't understand this sudden strange behaviour.

Sean turned around, and somehow his worried expression about Hermione's wellbeing had morphed into an angry scowl.

"To Ron. He doesn't deserve to have fun now. I'm going to tell him exactly what has been on my mind for a freaking year now. I've dealt with enough of his crap!"

"Sean w-"

But Sean had already stomped away, unable to hear Kaycee anymore.

She felt torn in that moment, standing beside her sniffling and clearly heartbroken sister, but also feeling the need to make sure Sean didn't do anything stupid.

"What's going on here- Oh crap Hermione, what happened? Are you hurt?"

The question had come out of Harry's mouth as an automatism, so aware of his friends constantly getting hurt on their adventures, that he hadn't thought of the other, non-physical kind of hurt. In this case, the double meaning made Hermione burst in tears all over again.

"It's Ron, Harry. He said some really freaking stupid things to Hermione and now he hurt her, as you can see, and Sean just ran away to go after Ron and he was so livid and while I know he won't do anything physical, I don't think he'll be that gentle either and I actually want to go after him but then Hermione's all alone and, and-"

"Kaycee, calm down. Take a breath."

Harry had laid his hands on both of her shoulders, and it immediately calmed her. She closed her eyes, took a moment for herself, and nodded.

"Kayc, you can go to Sean, I'll manage, promise. Ron's just an idiot and I need to get over him, that doesn't mean you should feel torn between staying here or going to Sean. Go, I love you."

"I'll stay with Hermione, Kayc. Hey, Mione, you like me just as much as your sister, right?"

There was something in Harry's tone that showed he obviously knew he could never surpass Kaycee, which is why it was so funny when he said it. And it paid off. Hermione slightly snorted, and while her smile was small, it was at least a genuine one.

It was all Kaycee needed to lessen her guilt.

"Okay, thanks. I'm just going to make sure they don't do anything stupid with each other. I love you both."

She heard the echoes of their 'I love you too''s, but she was already too focused to pay attention to them. Her steps were light but her pace fast, and she wished her hair was up in a bun instead of gracefully styled to lay on her back.

It wasn't long before she heard a voice, and for some reason she immediately recognised its owner.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

She had just turned around a corner when she saw them: Sean had asked Ron the question while dragging him forward with the lace around his neck into a deserted classroom.

As soon as they were in, Kaycee came from behind the corner and sneaked to the classroom, where she stopped slightly right to the door, so she could hear their voices more clearly.

"W-what do you mean, Sean?"

"Are you serious? Don't act so surprised you hypocrite! I know Kaycee isn't my girlfriend yet, but Merlin Ron, the way you act is not okay either! Going out of your way to give her weird, misplaced compliments and then acting so utterly tactless to Hermione! Do you really think that's the right way to win Kaycee's heart? Because I'm telling you now that it's not."

On the other side of the wall, Kaycee's eyes had widened, because she hadn't missed a word of Sean's outburst.

She hadn't missed the 'yet' after 'kaycee's not my girlfriend' either.

Nothing had ever made her head spin as much as this one little word had, not even Mcgonagall's 'you're a witch, just like your sister' when she delivered Kaycee's first Hogwarts letter.

She was forced to focus once again though, because Ron had apparently found his voice back.

"Wait- you, you think I try to make Kaycee interested in me in that way? Why would you th-"

"WHY?! MAYBE BECAUSE YOU INTERRUPT EVERY SINGLE MOMENT ME AND KAYCEE HAVE TOGETHER!"

Kaycee heard footsteps after that. Seeing as she was too afraid to look through the door opening, she could only guess that Ron had been literally taken aback by Sean.

Kaycee promised to herself that if she heard wands being drawn, she would interfere. For now though, she wanted to hear a little more of the conversation.

"I- I, Sean I really didn't mean to do that, I promise you. I've never felt things for Kaycee like that, I love her, but I love her like a sister. Truly, I never wanted to steal her from you."

Kaycee frowned at that. She wasn't anyone's property, not even Sean's. She thought it was weird of Ron to put it like that, but she couldn't really blame him. If she was standing there in Ron's shoes, she too would probably try to please Sean as much as she could.

"It's not about stealing Ron, she's her own person, not my property. It's just that I don't understand why you are all over Kaycee, but insult Hermione. Was it really neccesary to call her a traitor? I just don't understand your behaviour. It's time to give something up, you can choose whether that's your immature behaviour or our friendship. Girls have feelings too, and it's not fair to play with those. They earn your respect, especially someone as amazing as Hermione."

Kaycee smiled, feeling a pleasant kind of warmth spread through her chest at Sean's words.

"Okay, I'll explain everything to you, I promise. But then you have to promise not to tell anyone, especially not Hermione, alright?"

Sean stayed silent, so Kaycee assumed he had nodded his head. Truth be told, Kaycee was also curious where this was going. When she had come here, she really hadn't expected Sean to drag her into the fight.

"Last year, I came to the conclusion that I somehow really, really like Hermione. I tried to get her out of my head at first, I mean she would never like me back in that way, but it didn't work, and at some point I really had to admit to myself that I fancy her. But she's always so mad at me, and I mean, I can't blame her, and I always try to be kind to her, but it just doesn't work, I always snap and I regret it so so much, every single time. In the beginning, I tried to make it up to her by starting a conversation, but you know better than anyone else that Hermione is really stubborn, and that she'll completely ignore you if she's mad at you. So I did the thing that seemed second best: being kind to Kaycee. I figured that if I was nice to her sister, she would see that I could be a nice bloke, you know? I never, ever intentionally flirted with Kaycee, I promise you that. And the interrupting of your moments with Kaycee...well, this is really selfish, but I just wanted to spend more time with her, because the more I did that, the bigger the chance Hermione would notice me. Or so I thought. Nothing has happened and she'll always see me as this annoying boy who apparenly looks like he's flirting with her sister. Oh Merlin I messed up. I'm so sorry Sean."

Kaycee didn't think she had ever had such an existential crisis. First, her annoyance at Ron for being so tactless, then her guilt for leaving Hermione, her utter disbelieve at hearing Sean say she wasn't his girlfriend yet, whatever that meant, immediately followed by Ron's mind blowing theory about being extra kind to her to please her sister.

It was all way too much, but not enough. She wanted to hear more, understand more details, figure things out to wrap her head around all this new information.

The 'too much'-part of her brain slightly overpowered the curious part though, because suddenly her legs gave out and she landed on the floor with a thud. She shut her eyes closed, praying they didn't hear anything, and she sighed of relief when Sean talked to Ron again, with a much calmer voice now.

"I-Ron. You idiot. Do you have any idea how much better it would've been for both of us if you would've been honest about this all along? I could've helped you, you know, instead of spending my time being jealous and annoyed at you. Look, tomorrow, we'll figure out a way for you to make it up to Hermione. For now, I think it's better to just go to bed, it's been a long day. Alright?"

What followed was the sound of an intricate rhythm of claps, and Kaycee couldn't help but smile, knowing it was a part of one of Sean's choreographies that only required hands, kind of like a difficult handshake. Sean had taught it to Ron about a year ago, in one of their good moments, to show Ron that dancing wasn't only for girls, Ron had actually thought it was cool and it had been their thing ever since.

Then, she heard footsteps, and she started to panic, knowing they were going to come out of the classroom soon. Quickly, she got up and hid herself in the broom closet a few feet away from the door. She had barely closed the closet doors when Sean came out of the door opening, followed by Ron. She saw Sean turning around to his friend.

"Okay, I need to go up these stairs to get to my common room. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Wow-wait, not so fast, Sean. Care to explain why you said that Kaycee isn't you girlfriend yet?"

Ron was facing Sean, obviously, so Kaycee couldn't see his face from her hiding place, but she could clearly hear the grin in his voice. Her main focus, however, was Sean's face, and how his expression turned from a happy but exhausted one to a surprised one, as if he had forgotten all about that sentence.

Kaycee knew she definitely wouldn't forget it any time soon, if ever at all.

Sean got a hold of himself again, the right corner of his mouth slightly going up.

"You know I can't tell you a lot about the time turner incident last year, but let's just say it made me realise some things, most of all how madly in love I am with Kaycee.."

Ron actually snorted this time, Kaycee could hear it. It distracted her from all the other things she had just heard, and she was glad for that distraction, she wasn't sure she would be able to stay silent if she permitted all those feelings and thoughts to completely get through.

"I'd say, welcome to the Seaycee shippers, Sean! Everyone has been a shipper for years, and that includes me, even if it may have looked like I wasn't. Now go and dream about your girl! Goodnight, Sean."

Sean's smile had grown to be a completely glowing expression on his face, and he nodded at Ron, walking up the first few steps of the staircase.

"Goodnight, Ron. Remember, Hermione might not be as unreachable as you think she is. There's always hope."

And while Sean walked up the stairs and Ron turned around a corner, Kaycee still sat in the broom closet, arms wrapped around her knees, silent tears of happiness streaming down her cheeks, wondering how in the world she got so lucky.

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"Why are we always talking about my love life? You have a crush on someone as well!"

Kaycee's tone was hushed while walking through the corridor with Luna, careful so no-one would actually hear what they were talking about.

It was the 24th of February, a few weeks after the Yule Ball, and Kaycee had had a bit more time to think about everything she felt towards Sean. It was clear to her now that her feelings went much deeper than just a crush, and she had realised that it was also the reason she hadn't jumped out of the closet a few weeks ago, but had instead cried her eyes out, even though she had been immensely happy.

"Because your crush actually likes you back, Kaycee Granger. I don't even know if Neville smiles at me because wrackspurts got to him or because he thinks I'm nice."

"Luna, I'm sure he thinks you're nice! He got all flustered when you congratulated him on the Gillyweed idea today!"

And it was true. Kaycee and Luna had watched the second task of the Triwizard tournament together. The whole task had ended about half an hour ago, and she and Luna had talked to Harry for a few minutes afterwards. After he told them Neville had given him the idea to use gillyweed, Luna couldn't help herself and congratulated Neville when they saw him right before walking back inside, where they planned on visiting the house elves in the kitchen. Luna had asked Kaycee to come with her -she had said that she wanted to try to interview a few of them for an article in the Quibbler- and Kaycee definitely wouldn't let go of the opportunity to get hot chocolate.

"Maybe...I don't know. The blushing could be the nargles' fault as well. I mean, I hope he blushed because of me, but I don't really want to get my hopes up either. You see, a broken heart tends to attract umgubular slashkilters, and you definitely don't want those anywhere near y-"

"You're such a coward, Longbottom!"

The origin of the sound could not be mistaken: this was Draco Malfoy talking, and one look on Luna's face told her he would regret ever speaking to Neville like that.

"L-leave me alone.."

They were almost at the end of the corridor now, the sound getting louder and louder. Kaycee could hear the sadness in Neville's voice, and it truly broke her heart. He was her friend as well, and he didn't deserve to be treated like that.

Malfoy's snicker echoed through the corridor, hard and cold. It made the hair on Kaycee's arm stand up straight.

"Why would we? You can't do anything, just like you parents, you ugly-"

"Actually, Draco Malfoy, Neville can do a lot of things. Did you know he was the one who advised Harry to use gillyweed? I'm sure he also knows about a plant that could turn you into a frog, or a stone or something, right Neville?"

All eyes were on Luna, Draco's big from surprise, Neville's with an admiring gaze in them. Kaycee wished she had a camera to take a picture of this, it would be the perfect picture to laugh at, because Malfoy's expression, and the best chance she would ever get at convincing Luna that Neville actually did like her.

"Uhh- yes, o-of course. Tribulus terrestris would definitely do the job."

Kaycee smiled at that. Luna defending him had clearly given him some much-needed confidence, although she definitely noticed how red his cheeks became when he named the herb, or how his eyes flickered towards Luna just a few times more than usual. Next to her, Luna cleared her throat impatiently.

"You heard him, didn't you, Draco? I think it's time for you to leave Neville alone, as he so kindly asked you. We both know I'm great friends with the house elves in the kitchen, and, I mean, I don't think you'd be so happy with some tribulus terrestris in your pumpkin juice tonight, or should I say sprite?"

Kaycee was very surprised to see that Draco actually paled even farther when Luna mentioned Sprite. She didn't know why, but Draco's face become funnier with every passing minute. The slytherin was silent for a moment, his mouth slightly opened, as if he wanted to say something, but didn't find the right words. After a while, he finally spluttered something:

"I-I'll go now. Bye, L-Luna, Neville, Kaycee."

And with that, he turned around and wobbled away, awkwardly trying to keep his pace between walking and running.

Kaycee couldn't help but laugh her head off, and Neville and Luna soon joined in.

"W-what just happened? I swear I've never seen Draco so..so..unconfident!"

They had calmed down a little bit by now, and Luna answered with her signature dreamy smile on her face again.

"Draco, he drinks Sprite. He charms his pumpkin juice to be sprite, and he's really embarrassed about it because it's a muggle drink, wizards usually don't even know it exists, and, well, you know how he gets with his blood purity and all."

"That's...genius!!"

It was Neville who had praised Luna, finally recovering from his fright and surprise, and Luna's ever-pale skin actually got some colour around her cheekbones. Kaycee thought it was adorable.

"Thank you, Neville. That's a very kind thing of you to say. However, Kaycee and I really must go now, we promised the house elves in the kitchen that we would pay them a visit. But you can join us if you want!"

"I would love to, but I'm still not doing well in charms and in astronomy, and Gran wants me to study more.."

Kaycee immediately felt sympathetic. Neville was always so kind and he worked so hard, but still his grandma couldn't see any of these admirable qualities. She wished she could help him, but she knew it was his gran who should realise things, not Neville who should study more.

"You know what? Let's study together in the library tomorrow! Madam Pince has always had a soft spot for Ravenclaw's, so she probably won't mind me tutoring you."

Neville smiled at that, clearly happy at the prospect of being able to spend more time with Luna. Kaycee desperately tried to keep her fangirling to a minimum.

"Y-yes, that'd be nice Luna. Thank you for defending me, by the way. I uh..appreciate it. A lot. So...thank you"

If Luna noticed his awkward repetition of words, she didn't show it. Instead she smiled -Kaycee wondered if she had even stopped smiling at all these last few minutes- and nodded at Neville.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then. Bye Neville! Don't forget to get some tribulus terrestris, in case Malfoy ever bothers you again."

Kaycee quickly said goodbye to a suspiciously spluttering Neville, and followed Luna to the kitchens, feeling giddy about witnessing such a cute moment between those two.

It wasn't until weeks after that she finally understood why Neville had acted so weirdly every time Luna had mentioned the tribulus terrestris. She and Hermione had taken their turn in tutoring Neville in the library, when the topic somehow came up again. After much nagging of both of the sisters -Kaycee wanted to know why he always got so flustered while talking about it and Hermione just wanted to learn something new- he finally gave in: a herb that made someone turn into a frog didn't exist, let alone one that turned a human into stone. The tribulus terrestris did exist, however. It is a herb that increases a woman's fertility, and for some -in Neville's opinion very embarrassing- reason, it was the first thing that came to his mind while looking at Luna in that situation.

For Hermione, it was an interesting new thing she learned. For Kaycee, it was proof Luna definitely wouldn't have to worry about the umgubular slashkilters anytime soon. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spring

"How was it? Did he make a move? Did you make a move? Tell me all the details!"

It was an early evening, the last strays of sunshine warming up Kaycee's and Hermione's skin. Kaycee had just come back from a hogsmeade afternoon with Sean. He had asked Kaycee, Hermione, Ron and Harry who would go to hogsmeade, proposing they went together, but in the end, only Kaycee could go with him.

Or at least, that's what everyone wanted him to believe. Harry had been smart enough to understand the look on Hermione's face, and told Sean him and Ron had to practice for their charms exam. Hermione had claimed she would rather read something in the library than go outside. Sean thought she seemed a bit suspicious, but he had smiles nonetheless, and afterwards, Hermione had claimed giggling that he probably didn't mind spending alone time with 'his girl'

And now, with Sean safely out of earshot, Hermione apparently couldn't wait another second to hear everything about their afternoon.

Not that Kaycee minded reliving everything once more.

"Well, he- I...it was nice."

And then, when Hermione kept looking at her expectantly:

"He took my hand and held it for, like, half an hour. And we-"

"Wait, wait. How did he hold your hand?"

Kaycee looked at Hermione, confused. Why did it matter? Wasn't she happy for Kaycee? She really hadn't overthought the whole hand holding thing when it had happened. She'd been too busy just enjoying the tingles that had coursed through her in that moment.

"Just tell me, I read something about what holding hands means exactly and I want to see if it actually works like that in real life too."

Kaycee thought that was a bit weird, but at the same time, it was still Hermione who had said it, and that explained a lot, even though it didn't explain why Hermione found it so important.

"Uhm, well, his hand was in front, and he just took mine and intertwined our fingers. There wasn't anything excessively complicated about it, Mione"

But her sister apparently found this little fact incredibly valuable -and judging by the squeal she let out- really cute.

"Okay, now explain why this is so important."

Hermione seemed to realise again that her sister didn't know what was going on in her head, and her expression changed from a squeal into a normal smile. Her eyes kept their twinkle, though.

"Look, it has something to do with the subconscious state of us, humans. In the prehistoric era, humans were nomads, which brought some dangers with it. A man needed to protect his woman, and to make sure he could do that efficiently, he held her hand, with his hand in front of hers. That way he could push her behind him if there was any danger in front of them. He wouldn't be able to push her behind him that easily if her hand was in front of his. Wait, let me show you."

Hermione took her hand, and showed her that it was indeed much easier to pull someone behind you when your hand is in front of the other person's, than if it was the other way around.

"Nowadays, women are, of course, independent, and no longer need to rely on men to protect them, but most men still hold their partner's hand like that, subconciously to protect them. The fact Sean held your hand like that...well, you can draw your own conclusions."

And she did. Or at least, the butterflies in her stomach did before she gave them permission to move. She felt her smile getting broader again, after her confusion about Hermione's question.

"Thanks, Mione. That was a very useful piece of information."

Her sister smiled at her.

"Now go on! There's undoubtedly much more you haven't told me yet!"

"Well...we went to the three broomsticks first, where we had this whole conversation about dancing- oh and we agreed on making a choreo together this summer! And after that, we just walked around, he took my hand, as you know, but we were both too shy to actually say something about it, so it just kind of happened. We went into honeydukes to fill a bag of sweets - he let me pick the candy and there was this one sort I couldn't reach and he took it for me - and then we went outside to eat the bag while sitting on a bench. After that, it was time to go back to the castle. He didn't take my hand again, which was kind of sad, but he did give me a hug before going back to his common room."

By the end of her monologue, Hermione was positively beaming at her, which only stimulated her butterflies even further.

"And what are you going to do now? Does this mean you're a couple, or does he, like, have to ask you to be his girlfriend? Are you going to make a move next time you guys hang out?? Ahh I love this! My ship is finally sailing!"

And as much as she liked Hermione's enthusiasm, she wasn't about to do anything drastic that would change her relationship with Sean, even if change meant being able to act on all of her feelings.

She was still content with the way things were going now. She could easily enjoy holding Sean's hand while not making everything official yet. It was good this way, slowly getting to know this side of each other, without pressure from other people to do or to not do certain things. It wasn't that she had commitment issues, she was definitely and completely ready to tie herself to Sean in that way. She just wanted to do it their way.

"Everything in time, Hermione, everything in time."

And while the sun started to lower itself towards the great lake, Kaycee realised that there would indeed be a certain time for everything.

****

In many ways, Hermione's hug was similar to the one her sister had given him at the beginning of the school year, and in many ways, it was not.

Just like back then, Sean had felt the girl before he had seen her. The difference was, however, that this time, he had expected it.

Hermione had stayed strong up until madam Pomfrey had told them they weren't allowed to go inside, to go to Harry, and barely a few seconds after the nurse had turned her back to them to check on her patient, Hermione had crumpled, turning to him and burrying her face in his chest, curls bouncing as she cried, and his heart broke.

They stood there, he and Hermione, amidst of all the chaos. Some people were running away as fast as they could, afraid more bad things were about to come, others tried to get closer to that damned maze, their curiosity getting the better of them.

He tried to block out the outside world and concentrate on his best friend only, but it was no easy task, not with all the screams of terror of all the people who had only just seen Cedric Diggory's body. Sean saw from the corner of his eye that the hufflepuff was being dragged inside by Hagrid, Cedric's undoubtedly cold hand in his father's, who kept begging his son to wake up.

Cracks, blows, cuts in his heart.

He didn't know how much more he could handle.

Then, he felt a hand on his upper arm, slightly rubbing up and down, and he didn't have to look to know who it was. Kaycee was sniffing too, and it didn't take him and her sister more than a split second to include her in their hug.

Even though she was hurting as well, Kaycee made sure that she had given both Sean and her sister a kiss on the cheek before giving in to her own needs and burying her face in her sister's hair. At the same time, she took Sean's hand and intertwined her fingers with his.

For a brief moment, Sean wondered how they must look from the outside, him hugging two girls who weren't his family, but then he realised that everyone around them had better things to do than watching 3 people hug, and that even if someone saw them hug, he really, really didn't care. He already knew that the safety and well being of these girls would always be his first priority, and he wasn't ashamed of that. Besides, he was very aware of the fact that he wasn't only offering them comfort, they were the only reason he still stood straight as well.

And then suddenly, he felt another hand, on his shoulder this time, and he tilted his cheek from the top of Hermione's head to see Ron, looking paler than usual, tears brimming in his eyes. His friend wrapped one of his arms around Hermione's middle and laid the other on Sean's back, and Sean knew when looking into Ron's eyes that he didn't join because he was jealous that Sean was the one holding Hermione first. In fact, he knew that nothing of this was out of jealousy. It was out of love, for both him and Hermione, even though those were two completely different types of love.

In return, Sean put his hand on Ron's back, beckoning him to come closer, to join their hug, and Ron did. He heard Hermione sigh, keeping her arms around Sean but laying her head in the crook of Ron's neck, slightly having to stretch her own neck to do so because she was simply so much smaller than Ron.

And through all the darkness, the grief and the tears, he felt his mouth stretch into a small smile, looking at Hermione trying so hard not to let him go while also being close to the boy she loved in another way than a friend.

It made him think about all the good moments, him and Hermione finally succeeding in playing that one piano piece together, the way Kaycee's eyes shone during the Yule Ball- actually, no, the way Kaycee's eyes every day, Neville finally getting his deserved moment of victory after giving Harry the needed gillyweed,...

Hard times were coming, he was no fool, he knew it would be tough. But he also knew that in the end, it would be worth it. Worth it because he wanted all the people he shared those good moments with, to keep having a good life, a good world to live in. He wanted Hermione to be able to continue with S.P.E.W, wanted Ron to keep irritating her, Harry to finally have a moment of rest. He wished for Luna to get the courage to tell Neville about her feelings, instead of only smiling at his picture while laying in their common room, and he wanted Neville to give Luna that hug he had -according to Harry- been sleep talking about for 3 months now.

There was so much he still wanted for his friends, family and himself. All they needed was time, and he would make sure it's what they got. Time.

He was aware of the fact that he didn't know a lot yet, but he was convinced that in the end, everything would be worth it.

Light would drive out darkness.

It would.

[runenc03]

HH - Sean’s third year (part 3)

Writing date: August 2019

Genre: still fluff, actually the entirety of Hogwarts Highlights is fluff tbh.

Warnings: none, except some kissing but I don’t think a warning is necessary :) OH AND BETA-ED CONTENT! Thanks Annie, ily 

Word count: 7.4k

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summer

Dear Sean

I have so much to tell you that I don't even know where to start! As you know, we're in France at the moment, and I'm honestly having a blast. I even made some new French friends a few days ago! Can you believe that I, small and shy Kaycee Granger, socialised?

Yesterday, mum, dad, Hermione and I explored a small village nearby a little bit. Kylie and Devon claimed that a vacation is supposed to be a period of time where you just lay down and relax, but honestly, that's nothing for me. Anyway, we went and explored a little bit, and suddenly, we came across a boy around our age, with Asian roots, and he was tap dancing on a little platform he'd layed down on the corner of the street. He was really good, so a lot of people put some money into the hat he had put on the ground, but he still seemed to be a bit timid, humble, when he wasn't dancing. He reminded me of you, Sean. Honestly, I miss you. So much. I know that I'm supposed to enjoy my vacation, and I really do, but it's just not the same, away from you. Does that make sense? I really hope so..

"You really care about him, don't you?"

Kaycee turned around, startled by the voice that sounded so close to her. It was Hermione, peeking over her shoulder to read the letter she was currently writing to Sean. Kaycee had thought that it was safe to write him now, because everyone had gone to bed, but apparently, Hermione hadn't been asleep.

"Of course I care about him. Isn't that normal? You care about him as well, don't you?"

A small, knowing smile made its way to her sister's face.

"I care for him, yes, he's my best friend, but something inside of me tells me that you care about him more than I do."

Kaycee didn't like where this conversation was heading, even if she didn't really know why she felt so uncomfortable suddenly. Carefully, she began folding her arms over her letter, so Hermione couldn't read it anymore. She loved her sister dearly, but sometimes she just didn't want an analysis of everything she did. This was personal.

"What do you mean, I care more for him than you do? You're his best friend, Hermione, I think you're supposed to care for him more than I do!"

She was getting irritated, but her sister's little smile stayed etched on her face.

"Nevermind. You'll understand eventually, I'm sure of that. I'm going to go to sleep now, don't stay up too late, alright? We have a busy day tomorrow. Sleep well Kayc..."

And with that, Hermione turned around and went upstairs, leaving Kaycee with a lot of questions and an unfinished letter.

Might as well finish it, then there's at least one thing I don't have to worry about anymore..

Kaycee grabbed her pen again, since she was writing to him the muggle way, and continued where she left of:

It's pretty late right now, so I'm going to make this last bit a little shorter. I just wanted to tell you that I miss you lots, and that I really look forward to seeing you again on the hogwarts express! We're sitting in the same cabin, right? I really want to catch up with you, it's been such a long time since I last saw you...I hope you're okay too. I hope that you're having just as much fun as I have, because you deserve it. You deserve so much Sean. I really can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me in the past, and everything I'm sure you will do for me in the future, because you're such a generous soul.  I'm so happy that you came into my life, Shamu..thank you. Really.

I'm thinking about you.

Kaycee

Satisfied with her letter, she put her pen down and folded the piece of paper, putting it in the envelope she'd made earlier. Then, she stood up and went upstairs, to go to sleep. Hermione was right, it was going to be a busy day tomorrow, but she was determined to enjoy every single second of her vacation with her family. Still, a small part of her just wanted to be with Sean. That boy was going to get one hell of a hug when she saw him again..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Sean!"

Sean smiled at the chorus of 'hi's' that echoed Hermione's. They were in the Great Hall, everyone had just finished eating their first dinner of the new school year. Right before the feast, Dumbledore had announced that people were allowed to go sit at other houses' tables after their dinner, and Sean decided to make good use of that offer.

"Ronald, honestly, this is the 5th plate you're eating. Isn't it a bit much? I get nauseous just seeing you stuff your mouth!"

Sean turned towards Hermione, who was now beside him, and laid his hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her. He actually found it hilarious, the way Ron and Hermione always had to bicker so much. They cared about each other, and anyone could see it, except for them, it seemed.

The ravenclaw's smile decreased though, when Ron began growling something at Hermione, clearly not amused with her opinion on his apetite. They all watched him as he forcefully put his fork down, shoved his -still unfinished- plate towards Hermione, who sat opposite of him, and stomped off, leaving Harry, Hermione and Sean behind in the great hall, all shocked by the sudden outburst.

Sean hadn't missed the way Ron had glared at him upon leaving the table, but he had no idea what the glare meant.

"What's going on here? You all look like you've seen a ghost! Although, that's actually not that impossible here. I just keep messing up muggle expressions with magical ones!"

The cheerful, giggling tone of Kaycee brought them all out of their reverie, and Sean couldn't contain a sudden smile from coming up, as much as it confused him. He was about to answer her, but Harry beat him to it.

"Ron stomped off. He became annoyed after Hermione said that he was eating a lot. But he'll get over it, come on, have a seat!"

Kaycee happily took Ron's previous place next to Harry, just as Sean decided to follow Harry's advice to shrug Ron's behaviour off. He sat opposite of Kaycee, and while she engaged in a conversation with her sister, he had all the time to look at her. He didn't even realise he was staring, entirely too occupied, too engrossed in her features to notice what the conversation was going about, or the look of understanding that dawned on Harry's face after looking at his friend for a while. He didn't notice anything, except for Kaycee's curls, gently bouncing when she excitedly nodded at Hermione, or the way her eyes shone, happy to be here again.

And Sean was happy to be here again as well, and it wasn't only because Kaycee was here. Of course it was amazing to have her by his side again, he really had missed her and for some reason, he felt his best when he was with her, but he was also happy to be really here again, in Hogwarts, surrounded by the magic that naturally flowed through his blood. Hogwarts, with its moving staircases and talking portraits, with its floating candles and translucent ghosts.

Hogwarts, where he felt home.

He closed his eyes, smile still evident on his face, and took a moment to take in the atmosphere. He felt the excitement he shared with the other students, to be finally in the castle again. Heart full of emotions, he let the sleepiness caused by his first magical meal wash over him. He'd go to his bed soon, but he wanted to enjoy the warm feeling he had now, sitting with his friends, for a little longer.

His smile increased for the umpteenth time that night.

This was home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autumn

"Come on Sean, there are Hermione and Ron!"

Sean tried his best to ignore the tingling feeling of his hand, which Kaycee had taken in her own to drag him towards Hermione and Ron, who were already sitting on the bleachers. The first quidditch match was about to begin in less than ten minutes, and it could easily be felt in the atmosphere. The sun was shining its last warm sunrays of the year, and the exciting buzzing of people all around him made him feel really happy. It was a nice day, and even Ron, who had been grumpy for a few days after the confusing incident during their first meal in Hogwarts, was in a great mood because of the quidditch match, judging by the goofy smile on his face.

They barely had time to talk with Ron and Hermione before the quidditch match begun, and soon, the bleachers were filled with the deafening noise of applause and cheering.

Kaycee didn't share the crowd's enthusiasm for long though. The game had only begun about 15 minutes ago, but a few boys suddenly came running into the bleachers. They came to a halt in front of Kaycee, effectively blocking her view.

Now, she wasn't really mad at them, they probably hadn't even noticed her problem since she was really small, but she was still bothered by the lack of view, so she decided to be brave.

"U-uhm, excuse me, could you please move a little? I-I can't see right n-"

"Shove off you baby. We're watching a game."

The boys had rudely interrupted her question, towering over her tiny form and immediately squashing her bravery.

Kaycee sighed, convinced she wasn't going to enjoy this game and might as well go back to her common room to study a bit, but apparently, Sean had other thoughts about that.

"Hey! Shut it! You don't have the right to talk to her like that!"

Kaycee looked up then, taken aback by Sean's sudden anger, but grateful nonetheless. She felt a peculiar warmth spread through her chest, not really knowing what it was, but having a good feeling about that warmth. She smiled at him, trying to convey her gratefulness, and he beamed back at her, dimples showing.

The boys in front of her, however, weren't as impressed with Sean's words. They simply laughed at him, too arrogant to even answer the Ravenclaw.

"Come with me, Kayc. I don't really mind coming to the common room with you. We can study a bit more together for your transfiguration test in two days."

Hermione had barely spoken, when Kaycee's entire form got even smaller, shoulders down, looking defeated.

He didn't want that for her.

He wanted to see her smile, cheering at the quidditch players, having a good time. He wanted her to be happy.

So he did the first thing that came to his mind, afraid that the sisters would be gone by the time he came up with another, probably more sensible idea.

He crouched down.

"Come here Kayc, put your legs on my shoulders, you'll be able to see when I stand up"

Kaycee merely stood there, confused. She hadn't expected Sean to care this much.

"A-are you sure Sean? If I sit on your shoulders, your neck is seriously going to hurt tomorrow.."

But Sean really was sure. He wanted her to be able to enjoy the game, at all costs. If that meant he was going to have a sore neck for the rest of the week, then so be it.

"Don't be silly, I can easily hold you. Now come here"

And so Kaycee did. Somewhat clumsily, she put her legs on both sides of Sean's neck, only feeling safe when Sean wrapped his arms securely around her shins.

She'd expected to feel scared when he'd get up from his crouching position, automatically distancing herself from the ground, but when it came to it, she didn't feel scared at all. She felt surprisingly safe, up there, Sean's hands on her shins, looking over the rude boys in front of them, clearly seeing all the details of the quidditch game.

She didn't know right now, but for the rest of her life, she would get a big smile on her face every time she thought back to this moment...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Winter

Sean's steps were echoing through the corridor. It was quite late already, the time almost reaching curfew, but Sean was distancing himself from his common room with every step he took.

A few weeks ago, the Ravenclaw had discovered the way to the kitchens, and, inquisitive as he was, wanted to go inside to actually understand how the house elves made all the delicious Hogwarts food.

Even though students weren't actually allowed inside the kitchens, the house elves quickly grew fond of the boy and gave him permission to enter whenever he wanted. Some of the house elves even became his friends.

Sean knew Filch would eat him alive if he caught him now, but his current craving for a cup of steaming hot milk overpowered his fear.

He'd been to the kitchens so many times already, that he could probably walk to it with his eyes closed. He was just about to turn the last corner before his destination when something made him halt.

A short sniff, barely audible.

He recognised that kind of crying. When he'd been over to the Granger's for a few days before they went to France, Kylie had teasingly asked them if they still knew what a movie was. They'd all watched 'the odd life of Timothy Green' then, Kylie jokingly claiming that a movie with a little bit of magic would be easier for them to understand, and it had resulted in him and Hermione trying to hold back their tears, and Kaycee bawling on his shoulder. He'd tried to make her stop crying then, secretly quite irritated with Kylie for making her sister cry, and after a while of him soothingly rubbing her back, her bawling indeed subsided to some irregular sniffing.

He would always be able to distinguish her specific kind of sniffling from everyone else's.

He hadn't thought about how he would approach her, what he'd ask her, didn't even question if she wanted him to be near her now. He had to see her and make sure that she was okay again.

He hated it if she cried. He didn't know why he felt so strongly about it, since he wasn't as upset when Hermione cried. Of course he was also worried about his best friend, but there was just something about Kaycee that made him jump in protective mode the second there was something wrong with her.

His feet had automatically brought him closer to the sound. He was in front of a deserted classroom now. Slowly, so as to not immediately alarm her of his presence, he pushed open the door, giving himself a clear sight of her slumped form, still shocking with her sniffling. As always, his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, but this time it wasn't in a good way.

"K-kayc, what's- do you- can I come in?"

He saw her head turn around quickly, not expecting any visitors so late at night. Her wide eyes were red, and her cheeks were blotched, the patterns of her previous tears glistening in the light the candlelights emitted.

"Y-yeah, sure"

Sean couldn't help but get a sort of warm feeling in his heart when he saw that Kaycee did absolutely nothing to hide the fact that she was feeling miserable. She didn't put up a fake smile, nor did she dry her tears.

She trusted him.

Soon, he was by her side, sitting on the ground next to her. He wrapped one of his arms around her, pulling her closer by her shoulder, while the fingers of his other hand wove themselves through her hair. There they sat, Sean slightly rocking both of them back and forth, remaining silent. He knew better than to speak now, knew she needed her time. She would talk when she wanted to, if she wanted to, and he was not going to force anything out of her.

After a while though, she felt the need to talk.

"It's so stupid Sean, that's the reason I didn't come to you or Hermione in the first place. I-"

She sighed, hesitating, and Sean knew she was contemplating whether she should continue or not. He decided it was time to speak up now.

"Go on then, I won't judge, you know that."

He felt her comforted smile against his neck, but it didn't last as long as he'd hoped it would.

"I just miss my family. And the fact that I do makes me feel so silly. I mean, sometimes, when I'm in my class without you or Hermione, I feel so out of place. All those girls are talking about make up and boys, saying who they're dating and who their crush is while I'm sure they don't know anything about love. I mean, how could they, they're only 12 or 13! I only just turned 13! But I- I don't know. Please don't make me feel silly with your answer on this, but sometimes I just feel...older than all the others in my year. It's like I want to have a serious conversation with someone, but no-one actually cares about serious or meaningful things. They only want to spread rumors or talk about silly things and I'm just not- not into those things. At first I thought that I was behind on my age, but when I talk to you I don't feel like that, so now I just feel old and unappreciated whenever I'm with the girls of my year. But then there are the moments when I'm homesick and I just feel like such a baby, so now I don't really know what to think of myself. I-I'm sorry I'm dumping this all on you, Sean."

He could not believe she just said all that.

He could not believe someone as bubbly and happy as Kaycee had to fight all those thoughts, those demons.

"Kayc...oh dear Lord Kaycee, I wish you'd come to me sooner with this...I had no idea you felt like that. Honestly though, do you really feel like a baby when you miss your family?"

Kaycee only meekly nodded her head, rubbing her face on his shoulder.

"Kaycee, honestly, do you think I'm a baby? Because I miss my family as well. Seriously, everyone here misses their family sometimes. You really shouldn't feel guilty about that! And as for the whole feeling older thing...well, I do as well."

Kaycee promptly lifted her head up from the crook of his neck, looking at him with a surprised expression on her face. Sean, funny, social, talented Sean, had the same problems going on in his head as her? For some reason, that just made her feel a whole lot better. She wasn't the only one dealing with stuff. Problems didn't make her a baby. She felt her usual smile take over, gazing into Sean's brown eyes.

"Please don't ever feel bad about missing your family, or about being more sensible than those other girls. You are unique, Kayc, and that's something to be proud of, not ashamed."

He didn't know why he was whispering, it just felt right. He didn't need a loud voice, Kaycee only being inches away from him, her head slightly tilted upwards to look him in the eyes. He felt it, this moment was special to both of them.

His hand went from her back to her face, slowly wiping her tears away with his thumb.

"Thank you."

She was whispering now as well, as if the delicate moment would be broken by speaking too loud.

He'd kissed her forehead  in the hospital wing at the end of last year, swiftly, afraid she would wake up or someone would walk in on that. He'd been scared to show her his affection then, afraid that she wouldn't want him this close to her.

He wasn't afraid anymore.

He lowered his head, slowly, for the same reason they were whispering, and kissed her forehead softly, holding her close to him.

And when she nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck afterwards, her lips that were curved in a smile a warm line against his skin, he knew that this time, with her full knowledge of what had happened, it felt even better.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spring

Kaycee would never have guessed she would sleep so well in the Great hall with all her fellow students cramped together and thoughts of Sirius Black creeping through her mind, but she had. Her sleep had been blissfully dreamless and uninterrupted.

That is, until her friend felt the need to wake her up even though the first sunrays of the day had barely had a chance to seep through the stained glass windows.

"Kaycee Granger, goodmorning!"

The fact that Luna had the decency to whisper did nothing to soften the blow of suddenly waking up from her deep sleep.

"Luna...wha-what's going on?"

Kaycee could just make out the excited expression on the Ravenclaw's face.

"Well, there's nothing really going on, I just wanted to ask you if you want to come with me to feed the thestrals. I've wanted to ask you for a while now, but I keep forgetting to do so when I talk to you during the day and when I wake up and go to the thestrals in the morning, I can't ask you because you're still in your common room. So, what do you think?"

"I think that we're not allowed to go outside yet. Do you remember the reason we were forced to sleep like a bunch of sardines in the first place?"

But Luna merely smiled at her friend's concern.

"No, I've been up for quite a while. I heard professor Snape ask professor Dumbledore if he could allow pupils to go outside, and Dumbledore answered that it was safe again now that it isn't completely dark outside anymore.

Kaycee thought about that for a bit. She had liked to sleep a little bit longer, but she was awake now anyway, she might as well use her time to talk with Luna. She didn't make nearly enough time for that, Kaycee realised.

"Alright then, but keep quiet please, other people won't be as forgiving as I if you wake them up."

Luna nodded her head enthusiastically, and helped her up, so they could go outside.

"Why do you even go to the thestrals so early? It's the weekend, you have all the time in the world, Luna."

"Well, the thestrals woke up just like us, they need breakfast too, it wouldn't be nice of me to only give them food in the afternoon, now would it?

Kaycee wondered if Luna realised they hadn't eaten either, but chose to keep that thought to herself. This was Luna, she probably had a good reason for giving the thestrals their breakfast first.

"Also, I pass greenhouse 4 on my way to Hagrid's hut where I pick up the meat for the thestrals. Neville Longbottom is always watering the plants in greenhouse 4 around this time, so I can see him as well if I go this early.

Kaycee lifted an eyebrow and looked at her Ravenclaw friend.

"Neville Longbottom? Isn't he in Gryffindor, in his third year? How did you start talking to him if you aren't in the same year or house?"

"Oh, but I have never talked to him. Not yet anyway. He seems like a really nice guy though, so maybe I should start making my presence known when I watch him working in the greenhouses. Do you think that'd be a good idea?"

Kaycee shouldn't feel surprised that Luna watched a guy in the greenhouses while never talking to him, she knew she shouldn't, it was Luna after all, but she couldn't help it. She burst out laughing.

"What, why are you laughing? Are the wrackspurts making your brain fuzzy? I should've known that would happen, your brain isn't used to being outside so early in the morning so it's extra vulnerable to wrackspurts. Are you okay, Kaycee?"

Kaycee's laughter had subsided by now, but the smile that seemed to be permanently glued on her face whenever Luna was around, stayed.

"No Luna, no wrackspurts are making my brain fuzzy, it's just the fact that you are so positive about a boy you've never talked to is quite funny. I would go talk to him though, Hermione says he's a nice guy, so I guess talking to him wouldn't hurt you."

And Luna's face lit up even more. It was a beautiful sight to see, really.

"Okay, it's decided then. Tomorrow, I'll say hi to him before I go to the thestrals. Oh, this is going to be so wonderful, Kaycee! I've always had a feeling he'd have a role in my life! I can't wait!"

And while Luna accelerated her steps into skipping, Kaycee concluded that that would definitely not be the end of Luna and Neville's quirky story.

Being normal was overrated anyway.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We can't just do nothing, Hermione!! There has to be a way, and I know for a fact that you have exactly what we need to fix everything! You just don't want to give it to us because there's 'too much risk' but you know what? That's freaking selfish! Maybe we have to take a risk, but if we don't, people will literally die. Do you want to be responsible for that Hermione? Because I certainly don't!!"

Sean sat in the hospital wing, watching how Kaycee got furious with Hermione. He didn't like the direction this was going, Kaycee's red cheeks and dilated pupils reminded him too much of last year, when he'd been at the receiving end of her wrath. He never wanted to have to go through that again.

Hermione stood up from the hospital bed Ron laid in, and Sean held his breath. An angry Kaycee made him sad because he made her mad, but an angry Hermione was simply terrifying.

"I know Kayc, but be reasonable for just a second! We can save some people, but we also risk a lot! I don't want you in danger Kaycee, you're my little sister! In the process of saving lives we could get killed ourselves! You have no idea what you're starting with if you go through with this! And you know what? You can't. I won't let you!"

"So you're saying that you'd rather let Buckbeak die, than take some risk yourself. I thought gryffindors were supposed to be brave, Hermione."

No-one said anything to stop the sisters from fighting, Sean noticed. It was understandable, this was their argument after all, although it'd probably be wise if someone stopped them from scratching each other's eyes out. He was just about to say something, when the big, wooden door of the hospital wing made a high pitched, creaking sound, signaling that they had a visitor.

"Now now, misses Granger, what's gotten you both so worked up?"

The low, warm sound of professor Dumbledore sounded through the room effortlessly, even though he hadn't raised his voice at all. Something inside of Sean told him the headmaster knew exactly what was going on.

Hermione wanted to speak up, but surprisingly, Kaycee beat her to it.

"Headmaster, I know how we can save buckbeak, but Hermione doesn't want to go through with my plan because it holds some risk. I understand that it has some dangers, but aren't multiple lives worth a risk?"

The headmaster's eyes began to twinkle looking at Kaycee, and Sean wondered if he knew what kind of plan Kaycee was talking about. He probably did. The professor turned to look at Hermione, addressing her.

"Miss Hermione Granger, I understand your concern, and I'm not a fan of my students taking unnecessary risks, but considering you made it through the unfortunate events a few hours ago and know what's going to happen, I understand your sister as well. I have faith in you all. I'm not going to force you to do anything about the situation, but if you decide to agree on your sister's plan, I'd suggest you turn it 3 times. Good luck."

And with that, he turned around and exited the hospital wing, leaving Sean, Harry, Hermione, Kaycee and Ron to themselves. It stayed silent for a while.

"Why don't you want to go, Mione?"

Kaycee's tone was softer now, looking at her sister with big, sad eyes. Sean's stomach dropped, seeing those eyes. They were supposed to shine with happiness.

He turned his head, looking at Hermione instead. It was easier.

His best friend sighed, as if tired, but Sean knew better. Hermione was just trying to find a way to convince Kaycee that it was better to not take any risks.

"Kayc, that's not it. I do want to go and help, I just don't want you to go with us. You weren't there, and that's what makes it so much more risky. Please, just understand me. I just don't want you hurt. And before you're going to say anything, I'm not babying you because you are a year younger, this is purely because you weren't there."

And she was right. Kaycee hadn't been there. She'd been with Luna going to the thestrals to visit them. It had become a weekly ritual, Kaycee had once told him, since Luna asked her to go with her a few weeks ago. Because Kaycee had been away, Sean had decided to hang out with Hermione, Ron and Harry that afternoon, resulting in him unintentionally getting involved in the whole affair with scabbers being Peter Pettigrew and professor Lupin being friends with Sirius Black.

It had been quite chaotic, and even though he knew it was for the best, Sean didn't look forward to going there again.

"Okay."

He looked up again, having been so lost in thoughts that he hadn't been following the conversation anymore. The 'okay' was Kaycee's, and Sean had to rack his brain to remember what she was referring to.

"A-are you serious? You're not angry? Last year you were angry for weeks at Sean for not including you...are you sure you're okay with this Kayc?"

But Kaycee only smiled bravely at Hermione.

"I'm sure Mione. If I have to choose between you guys saving lives again or nothing at all, then of course I want those lives to be saved. Just...be careful, please. I love you all so much, I don't want any of you hurt. Come back quickly, okay? I'm going to be worried anyway."

Sean's heart felt like it expanded just a bit, Kaycee's inner Huffelpuff coming through just made him really proud of her. She was so brave for letting almost half of her loved ones go on a dangerous mission. He knew that waiting for people to come back safely was often scarier than doing the dangerous things yourself.

Hermione had stood up completely from Ron's bed now, quickly walking to Kaycee to wrap her in a big hug.

The moment was honestly so beautiful.

"I-uh, I guess it's better this way, with Kaycee staying here with me. I mean, I wouldn't want her hurt."

Sean's eyes promptly shifted from the sisters' embrace to Ron, who was looking quite awkward at what he just said, and from the corner of his eye, he saw Harry shooting his best friend a weird look as well. Normally, Sean didn't care at all when Kaycee's other friends showed affection towards her, she was a very likeable person after all, but something about Ron's tone just made him run cold. He didn't really know why, he only knew that Ron's behaviour towards Kaycee had been really strange this year. He couldn't really put his finger on it, something just didn't feel right about Ron's affection towards Kaycee. He was...too nice?

There wasn't much time to overthink the whole situation though, because Hermione was already taking matters in her hands, and he knew that if she was handling the situation, he should probably pay attention. Her plans were always intricate, she wasn't called the brightest witch of their generation for nothing.

"Okay, here's the plan guys. I have two timeturners. The rules say that you can transport a maximum of two people at once with a timeturner. Ron and Kaycee aren't coming with us, which leaves Harry, Sean and myself. I suggest you guys take a timeturner, and I take the other one. I know how this works so I can do it on my own. If something doesn't work out, at least you'll have eachother. Does everyone agree with this?"

Everyone nodded solemnly.

"Alright. Here's your timeturner. Professor Dumbledore said we had to turn it 3 times to travel to the right hour. You always turn clockwise. Put the chain around both of your necks and close your eyes when you're timetraveling, it'll make you less dizzy when you arrive, okay? Now, good luck. I see you in a minute. Oh and Kaycee, don't worry too much please. It's all going to be alright. I love you"

And before anyone else had the time to react, Hermione had spun her own timeturner and dissolved in thin air.

"Alright, come here Harry. We can't let Hermione fix this on her own, now can we?"

Sean hated the way his fingers were slightly shaking as he put the chain over Harry's head. He wasn't supposed to be nervous for this, he had saved Kaycee out of the Chamber of Secrets while Voldemort was in the same room, for Heaven's sake!

He knew deep down why he was nervous though. When Kaycee had been in danger, his head had focussed solely on getting her out. Now that Kaycee was safely inside of the hospital wing, unharmed, there was time to think the situation through, rather than just paralyzing fear of Kaycee being in danger through his veins.

It seemed that his body had his priorities already sorted out.

"Alright, so we needed to turn counter clockwise, 3 times, wasn't it Sean?"

Harry's voice so close to his ear broke him out of his reverie.

"No, Harry stop! It's supposed to be clockw-"

But his voice slowly faded away, like it stayed in the place the words had been spoken, instead of going with him.

Because he, he was timetraveling.

As soon as his surroundings became steady again, he turned to Harry, who had come down next to him.

"Harry! Are you serious?! It was clockwise! Hermione told us one freaking minute ago!! What did you do now?"

But Harry was eager to get his friend to shut up.

"Not so loud, Sean. I'm sorry, I just...I was still thinking about Ron's strange behaviour and counter clockwise seemed to be logical since we're going back in time rather than forward. Let's go, maybe it all didn't matter that much and we can just go find Mione, okay?"

Sean could only set his worries aside as he tried to keep up with Harry, who had began walking out of the -currently empty- hospital wing.

The familiarity of the corridors they went through made his heart slow down a bit, and he had almost calmed himself down enough to focus on the mission they had to accomplish, when Harry abruptly stopped, right behind a corner.

"Why are we -"

But his voice faded away for the second time in only a few minutes, because another voice boomed through the corridor, a voice which made Sean shake to his core.

"I cannot believe this just happened. Honestly Kaycee, how long has this been going on?"

The voice was low, and obviously very angry. Sean wanted to know who was being so aggressive towards Kaycee. What kind of right did he think he had to treat her like that?

"Sean, stop overreacting. This was the first time this happened, and they didn't have any time to do something to me, now did they? You were fast enough to show them I'm all yours"

Behind the corner, Sean's eyes widened tremendously. Kaycee was talking to him.

And she had said that she was 'all his'. He may be only 14, but that didn't mean he didn't know anything about that kind of stuff: she was clearly insinuating that they were together.

He had to look, couldn't help it. He needee actual, visual proof that it was really him and Kaycee behind that corner. Slowly, he laid a hand on Harry's shoulder, wordlessly alerting him of what he was going to do. After Harry nodded to him, he peaked behind the corner, just enough to see him and Kaycee.

And the sight that greeted him made something inside of him just burst, spreading ice cold streams of shock through his body, followed by a warm, fuzzing glow right after.

There he was, at least a few years older than now, probably around 17, with Kaycee next to him, also around that age. He had grown a lot, Sean noted, he seemed much taller than he was now, since he was towering over Kaycee. His bone structure was more defined, and if he looked very closely, he could just make out a very slight stubble on his chin.

He had grown up.

And then there was Kaycee.

He could honestly say that he had never seen someone as beautiful as the young woman behind the corner. Kaycee had always been beautiful, he realised now, but the person standing next to his grown self was just absolutely breathtaking. Her hair wasn't straightened, falling in rich dark ringlets over her shoulders, highlighting her cheekbones and making her eyes shine just a little more.

So some things didn't change after all.

His older self relaxed at Kaycee's words, smiling now. He wrapped an arm around her and rested his hand on her hip, pulling her closer to him, grinning while looking into her eyes.

"That, you absolutely are, my darling. All mine to love."

The older Kaycee looked up to him, eyes still twinkling. Then, she wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on her tiptoes.

And then, she kissed him.

Kaycee actually kissed him. Full on his lips.

And he didn't seem hesitant to kiss back at all, quite the opposite. He smiled into her kiss, the arm that was still wrapped around her waist pulling her closer to him, his other hand weaving through her curly hair, angling her face so he could reach her better.

He had read some books where writers described moments like these as 'it felt unreal' or 'it didn't register at all'. Not with Sean, no. He was completely, thoroughly aware of what was happening in front of him. He felt it in his body, the little shots of electricity that coursed through him, the clammy hands, the frantic beating of his heart.

This was the future. This was real.

Kaycee pulled back from his lips now, but only slightly.

"I love you Shamu"

It was hard to hear from where he stood, since it was only whispered against his lips, but Sean was sure that's exactly what she said. His older self smiled, dimples showing before Kaycee began poking them, resulting in the two falling into a fit of laughter, clinging to eachother, trying to get at least a little bit of oxygen in between these laugh attacks.

He was so concentrated on the couple in front of him, that he didn't feel the tap on his shoulder the first time. It was only when Harry took a hold of his upper arm that he became aware of his current position again. He looked at his friend, who nodded towards a place behind him. Quickly, Sean turned around, only to be hit with another shock.

There was Hermione, just as grown as the two on the other side of the corner. He actually had to look up, he noted. Hermione had always been at least a head shorter than him, but now he had to tilt his head upwards to look into her eyes. He immediately noticed that her hair wasn't as bushy as it was in his time, but fell down into the same graceful curls Kaycee had, although Hermione's hair had always been a few tints lighter than her sister's. Apart from that, the only thing Sean could register was that she looked stressed.

"Come with me, you two. Hurry!"

She took the fabric of his t-shirt and actually pulled her with him. Trying not to stumble, he quickly followed.

As soon as they reached the first classroom the came accross, Hermione pulled both him and Harry inside and swiftly shut the door behind her.

"First of all: don't ever do that anymore. You have no idea how fragile timing is since you've never used a timeturner before, but I'm telling you now that if it wasn't for me, you would've messed up the timeline tremendously. Am I making myself clear?"

They could only nod solemnly. If possible, Hermione had gotten even scarier when angry through the years.

"Alright. I made sure I would be here on time. You haven't seen anything that'd make such a big difference in time. You both saw Kaycee kiss you, Sean, but we all saw that one coming anyway, now didn't we?"

Her tone was more playful now, her face had softened, and Sean released a breath he didn't know he had held in.

He didn't hear Harry snigger at Hermione's words, too busy paying attention to the older version of his best friend.

"Now, as nice as it was meeting your innocent, young selves again, it's better that you go to your present time as fast as possible, alright?"

She walked closer to them, pulling the chain of the timeturner that was still around Harry around Sean's neck as well. Then, she tapped her wand 4 times on the actual clock of the timeturner, looking very concentrated. She was just about to say a spell -Sean had seen that expression a million times before on her face and would always be able to recognise it- before her head shot up again.

"Oh, Sean, before I forget, one advice for you. Don't worry too much about Ron's behaviour. He seems nuts now, I know he does, but he has no intention whatsoever to hurt you or Kaycee, or your relationship for that matter. He has his reasons to act like he does, truly. Okay, it's really time to go now. I love you both so much. See you in a few minutes."

And before he could answer her or even fully register what she had said, her eyes were focused on the time turner again.

"Tempum quattuor anno verto"

The world was spinning again. Sean closed his eyes quickly, trying to ignore the churning sensation in his abdomen. He wanted to find Harry in this swirling mess, desperately in need of something solid, but his hands could only grasp air, or at least something that felt like air.

And then, as soon as it had come, it was over. His feet hit actual floor and his surroundings became clear again.

For the first few seconds, his mind was solely focussed on making sure that they actually came back to the right time and that Harry had come back to the present with him unharmed. It was only when he sat down on one of the vacant hospital beds and took a deep breath, that everything came rushing back to him, as if his mind had bottled up the discoveries of the last hour and abruptly let these revelations spew out of that bottle now.

His voice. Kaycee's hair. He called her darling. She kissed him.

And suddenly, he understood.

He understood all the jumps his heart made when she was around, the nauseous feeling he felt when she laughed with other boys, the goosebumps that erupted on his skin when she touched him.

He was in love with Kaycee Granger.