I know I’m a little bit late with that one, but it’s been kind of a whirlwind (amazing) start to 2018! I hope you’ve all had the same!
(But if not, don’t worry, there’s still so much to go!)
Anyway, the new year started with my friend from camp visiting me and it was such a great time. I had a three day weekend NYE weekend, and we went out and explored and ate and laughed and sang so loudly on the streets and subway platforms of NYC. It was EXACTLY the start to the new year that my heart needed.
For the first year in a while, I didn’t write a reflection on the past year (because tbh, I don’t wanna ever think about 2017 again), but the new year started with me kind of feeling out the changes that I wanted to make, and that was exciting. It’s still going, I’m still planning, I’m not pretending that I know exactly how I want this year to look just because I’m past January 1st.
And I realized something big yesterday.
I was sitting in the kitchen talking to my roommate at about 9:15. It was Sunday morning and I was getting ready for work. And I didn’t want to go. Not only was I not feeling well, my schedule has changed to accommodate a work/study program I’m really excited about, but it now means that I have zero days off in a week. Ever. No days. Because my manager didn’t want me to have my weekends free in exchange for a set schedule. And on top of that, she gave me both closing shifts on the weekend. Which, as someone who works there full time, feels unfair.
And I was expressing all this and how I just wanted to work for myself, and so my roommate asked me what I would do, and I said that that was the problem, I didn’t know.
But then I had to get ready and I got on the train and I was reading Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, and it hit me:
It’s not even a thing about not liking my job, I actually do like my job. But what I don’t like is the way our society has set up work in such a way that I feel like my personal freedoms are being taken away. I hate having to be somewhere at the crack of dawn because somebody said so, and I hate not being able to leave and go outside to breathe fresh air, and I hate not being able to eat until the time that somebody says I can eat, and I hate having to do all of this in exchange for my livelihood. That’s ridiculous!
I realized that the most fun I’d had since coming back to NYC was that weekend when I had three days off and I could go and do things and see things and explore and make each day its own unique adventure, instead of the boring sameness that I have right now.
So, I’m quitting my job. I’m giving myself until April 1st. I’m terrified. I don’t really know what I’ll do. But I’m giving myself time to save up money, to learn some skills, and to give myself a concrete plan.
And then I’m gonna go on a national parks road trip because I won’t have a boss telling me that I can’t.
2018 feels big and scary and amazing and exciting right now. It is wide open with some amazing possibilities. And I’m going to make sure to choose the adventure in each day so that I can make it the best it can be.
And I wish you all the same!
