the sequel

[rvjaehee]

“thank you for giving me so many chances. i feel like i don’t deserve so many. and even though i made it to the final group, i still feel like i let you down. but just... thank you for believing..”

[rvjaehee]

“i just.... wanted to reach out, because this is an absurd situation for me,” jaehee admitted, offering her longtime friend an awkward smile. “i never for a moment thought that i’d ever be leading a group with your daughter in it, and yet here we are. is there anything....i should know?” @rvhyuk​ ​

[rvjaehee]

“i just wanted to touch base, and find out... what you need from me,” jaehee said gently, hands folded in her lap. “this isn’t a regular group. we all have groups and lives outside of coven. i don’t think everyone frankly needs me to be a leader. i want to support you however you need me to support you.”

[rvjaehee]

“i’m sorry,” jaehee blurted out, eyes welling up in weighty tears upon seeing her members. “i’m sorry for embarrassing you on idol project. i’m sorry for falling so far behind. i’m sorry for fucking up and being pulled from merci in the first place. i’m just sorry.”

[rvaeri]

“i need advice,” aeri said somberly. there were dark, bruiselike circles under her eyes– she hadn’t had much sleep since idol project at all, first having an absolute breakdown around that, but then her entire future being a topic to tear apart. finally she broke, needing to reach out to those she deemed close for a second opinion. a real one. “at what point….do i cut my losses and go? at what point do i stop giving liberty a million chances, and go to make my own?” @rvxjei​ @rvseulki​ @rvjaehee​ @rvohkyung​

[rvjaehee]

jaehee sat on the sofa beside aeri, putting an arm around her friend and curling her legs up underneath herself. “i think you’re too forgiving. we both are,” jaehee replied bluntly. “and we have been for a long time. but we’re not young girls anymore, and time is ticking down, and... if they’re wasting your talent, aeri... you need to stop letting them.”

[rvsikyung]

“there’s still something missing. it feels weird,” sikyung commented, and though it was meant to be a side comment under her breath, she realized she said it a little louder than she’d thought when heads turned to look at her. “i think…. because of all of us having different backgrounds, what with how many members we have in our groups, things are off, you know? some of us are performing like there’s eleven others, and some are performing like there’s only two, you feel me? it’s not cohesive.” @rvjaehee​ @rvhayoon​ @rvahki​ @rvdestiny​ @rvnayoon @rvmelody​

[rvjaehee]

her breath caught in her chest. or it would have, if there was any breath left, but the last round of choreography had left her breathless. she wasn’t trained for this sort of thing. “it’s probably my fault. i need to work harder to keep up,” jaehee answered, trying to bite back any emotion bubbling up. “just give me a moment to catch my breath, and i’ll double down harder...”

[rvilya]

“i just wanted to touch base. i wasn’t really allowed to intervene as a mentor, but…well, i could tell you were going through it,” he admitted, looking back at jaehee once they were done ordering. “how are you holding up?” @rvjaehee​

[rvjaehee]

“by my fingernails, frankly,” jaehee admitted with a deep sigh, hand going to her forehead. “i’m glad i made the final lineup, don’t get me wrong, but god.... i felt so behind, and so ancient... like a relic of the past. and even now, it still all just feels like dumb luck.”

[rvjaehee]

rvnana​:

“unnie, don’t think like that!” she scolds, holding jaehee’s hand and giving it a small squeeze. “i actually believe it’s so brave of you to make an appearance— like, if i try, i can almost ignore the generation gap, you know? i’m serious. if it was me i’d be sooo embarrased.”

surprisingly enough, ryujin’s words didn’t calm the dread in jaehee’s chest, but she almost had to laugh at the irony it all. maybe ryujin’s response was confirming jaehee’s fears in a way, but they also added some levity to the situation. it was kind of funny, frankly. she squeezed the younger girl’s hand back, giving her a lopsided smile. “well, thank you. hopefully i don’t let you down. or, rather, hopefully i can keep up. girl group choreography has changed a lot the past five years...”

[rvjaehee]

rvseb​:

“I can understand the feeling, believe me,” Sebin responded. “But… I think it will mean a lot to a lot of girls out there to see you. To show that we don’t have to put an expiration date on our dreams.”

“well, that is something i suppose,” jaehee sighed, pursing her lips. “it does feel like a lot of female idols really do just get thrown out with the seven year curse contract negotiations as soon as they’re past thirty, huh? maybe me surviving past that is a turning point.”

[rvjaehee]

rvhyuk​:

“maybe it helps coming from someone who is actually old,” hyuk spoke up, though there was only a six year difference between them  ( and an even greater amount of time since hyuk had released any of his own music before working at spotlight ), “but i really don’t think it’s possible for anyone to be ‘past their prime’ in music.” he paused, doubting how much reassurance he could give that would offset knowing the judgement for women in entertainment was always harshest. “as long as you have a concept that suits you, maybe the younger ones will just look up to you more?”

“if you’re old, i’m old. same generation,” jaehee pointed out with a wry smile, shaking her head a tiny bit. “i mean....you’re right to a point, but for a woman? as an idol specifically? the seven year curse isn’t just a contract curse. i feel like that’s once a lot of women start hitting their thirties and being thrown out with the contract negotiations,” she pointed out wiht a sigh. “lord, you’re making me feel older. i’m about to be on the same show as your daughter, hyukwon...”

[rvjaehee]

“i feel embarrassed,” jaehee admitted. “i think idol project might have been a mistake. i mean, i’m the eldest on the show by a good six years. i’m older than half the mentors! it’s just so humiliating.... maybe i’m past my prime.”

[rvduckie]

“Dude, I wish I saw the all-kill actually happen! I had to read about it happening third-hand from my little sister who doesn’t even listen to us. And when I went to go look myself the spot was taken,” Duckie said.  “I almost feel like she’s just pulling my leg or something, it’s so unreal.”

[rvjaehee]

“well, if you ask me, your group is on the way up-- i’m sure you’ll have plenty more all-kills in the future to celebrate,” she encouraged him

[rvyujeong]

“you know, terra is so weird. i don’t understand it half the time,” yujeong said. “they assign us colours or whatever, but then barely do anything with it? i guess maybe that’s a good thing, but i would have thought they’d dye my hair purple by this point…. i kind of want to see dajeong with yellow hair… that’d be kind of funny…”

[rvjaehee]

“i was always a little confused that some of you had cities, some of you had fruits, and some of you had shapes, but you didn’t all have all of those,” jaehee admitted. “it must be so much to have to keep track of...”