...At least from what I see in fanfic. I've tried to focus on what most impacts my ability to get into the story. And that aren't too technical! Rough-edges fixes with high IR value.
Multiple speakers quoted in the same paragraph is possibly the most jarring and confusing error I come across.
Every time the speaker switches, hit the 'enter' key. You don't want the reader to think it's one character speaking, then realize it was the wrong character part way through. (The exception might be if two characters are speaking at once. In this case, the confusion of their dialogue sharing the same line is deliberate.)
2. New line = new speaker
Conversely, if there is a new line, the reader expects a new speaker! For example, if during a conversation between two speakers, one person doesn't speak but still reacts, I treat that reaction as 'dialogue' via formatting.
“No bleeding?” Zeff asks gruffly. Sanji shakes his head.
“Make sure to stretch.” Zeff pushes to his feet with a grunt of stiffness, gripping the counter as he straightens out.
In this example, there is a new line, but the same character is still speaking. Let's fix ->
“No bleeding?” Zeff asks gruffly.
“Make sure to stretch.” Zeff pushes to his feet with a grunt of stiffness, gripping the counter as he straightens out.
In this example, I treat the non-verbal reply as dialogue and give it its own line. This helps the reader distinguish which character is talking/reacting, and improves the pacing. (I could also make this whole section one paragraph, but in this case it was my choice to separate out Sanji's 'reply' like dialog)
I've seen lots of fics where paragraphs are consistently long, or consistently short (usually the former is a bigger problem). Variety is good - is necessary.
Good line-breaking helps the reader keep track of who is talking/reacting, groups ideas together, and makes the text just look nice on the page. It also helps the reader focus without getting lost in giant paragraphs.
Formatting is a tool for pacing as much as the words themselves. A longer-running paragraph can build tension and maintain the flow of ideas. A shorter paragraph can interject, or set an idea apart for impact. Of course, a short impactful paragraph is built up by the length of the paragraphs around it.
Scroll through your document and look at the shape of the paragraphs. Are they all the same length? If so, go back and revise.
This is an easy one to make, since in speech we often don't enunciate properly. This mistake isn't just incorrect, but can easily confuse the meaning of the sentence.
In short:
'Then' -> sequential
'Than' -> comparative
-> I'm going to have a bath, THEN go to bed. (sequence of events)
-> I like tea better THAN coffee. (comparison)
Check your understanding: do you see how the following sentence changes meaning depending on which you use?
-> I prefer to do housework THEN/THAN make my bed.
5. Repetition of character names
-- Is something we should probably do MORE of.
Some writers rotate regularly between descriptors to avoid repeating names. Like: Sanji, the blonde, the cook, etc.
It's not incorrect to break up the use of a character's name with an appropriate descriptor -- but it's jarring when it's clearly thrown in for no other reason. Using name replacements is something you have to 'feel' your way around so it's not forced.
Selecting one descriptor over another can put focus to that trait for narrative effect. Personally, I almost never use descriptors like hair color unless it specifically relates to the sentence. I'm more willing to substitute in 'the cook' or similar because it's always more relevant.
When in doubt, it's better just to use names than force yourself to cycle through replacements.
6. A few other common grammar errors
Possessive versus plural 's' ->
Sanji's -> possessive. Those recipes are Sanji's.
Sanjis -> plural. A wizard has created so many Sanjis.
Sanjis' -> possessive & plural. Those Sanjis' recipes are all really delicious. (I've also read that 'Sanjis's' is correct, so it's up to you)
Their/there/they're ->
Their -> description of possession. That's my favorite coffee shop; their muffins are delicious.
There -> adverb. What's that over there?
They're -> conjunction of 'they are'. I love apples; they're one of my favorite fruits.
If you aren't sure if an issue applies to you, if you need clarification, or if you want to ask me something else, feel free to message me! I'm happy to help. I think it's important for people to try to improve no matter what. I'm always thinking about how to improve my next work. It's important to put in the effort, even if it's just for fun.
Hopefully this helped! Keep learning and keep improving, so we may together defeat AI xx
(I'll be posting more writing stuff later for people interested in my specific style)
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