me and my broken heart ♥ ryva
There was so much Ava needed to say to Ryder, but trying to put it all into words was the hard part. The last thing the blonde wanted was to be a bother to the boy. She had thought that if Ryder wanted to talk, that he would actually make an effort to do so. But so far, that wasn’t happening, and Ava didn’t blame the boy at all. Everything about the breakup seemed so surreal. She didn’t wanna accept the fact that Ryder was no longer her’s. Ava was so in love with Ryder, that it physically hurt. She had never experienced anything like him. He was the first guy Ava had ever thought about having a future with. Every other guy before him was nothing to Ava but a distraction and a possibly good lay. But there were real feelings shared between the two. Well, at least there were. Now Ava was questioning the possibility of Ryder still having the slightest bit of interest in her.
The smile that was spread across Ava’s face quickly disappeared as the younger boy pulled away from the kiss. The blonde furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of what to say or do as she awaited on Ryder’s next move. As the boy’s final words rang through Ava’s ears the girl slowly pushed herself off of Ryder without any clue as to what she was supposed to do now. “I uh, I thought this was what you wanted?” The girl mumbled, her statement turning more into a question as the last few words left the girl’s lips. Ava’s eyes fell back onto the boy as she studied his features once more before going on. “If you can look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you don’t love me anymore and that you don’t want me as much as I want you then I’ll go.” Ava muttered. As soon as the last few words left her lips, the image of Ryder with another girl popped into her head, causing the blonde to regret everything she had said and done the whole night. “Fuck, fuck, fuck..” Ava cursed, before reluctantly removing herself up off of the couch. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?” The girl whispered, already knowing the answer to the question she had just asked.
Ryder's head had turned into a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts the moment the blonde's lips met with his, and even moments after the pair broke away, his mind was just as messy. Ryder wanted this. Oh boy, he wanted nothing more than this. But the last thing he wanted was for Ava to wake up in the morning and regret it. He hated the idea of the kiss being an outcome of her intoxication. He wanted the kiss to be real and not influenced by anything but the love they shared for each other. No one else could stir the butterflies in the pit of Ryder's stomach, not even if they tried. It was feeling that Ava was the only one able to cause. Simply Ava, no one and nothing else. He had grown to crave that exact feeling over the last few weeks, he had craved the feeling of Ava's lips against his own. Now that his craving was finally met, he wasn't satisfied with the circumstances.
The sandy haired boy stood up from the couch whilst running a hand through his aimlessly. A sigh fell from his lips as he looked at Ava. "Of course this is what I wanted. But fuck, not like ---- this." He stated, obviously referring to the state Ava was currently in. Ryder shook his heads as her words continued to echo through the previously silent apartment. "That isn't what this is about, Ava. You can't ---- You can't just turn up at my door, absolutely wasted and expect everything to turn back to normal. As much as I want to fucking kiss you right now and for things to turn back to the way they were, it's not going to happen like this. The only times we've spoken since the break up is through text or when one of us is drunk. I can't do it, not like this." His words flowed from his mouth quicker than he could comprehend himself. A part of him was hoping the alcohol would influence her memory in the morning and that his speech would become a blur to her in a couple of hours. But the rest of him secretly wished that it'd push things further along and the pair might actually be able to rekindle things now that he'd finally -- and soberly -- confessed his true things about wanting things to turn back to normal. Her words caught him off guard, an eyebrow raising out of habit and a scoff fell from his lips. "You're kidding, right? You honestly think I'd be able to move on that quickly after everything we've been through?"