your hands can heal @s-french - Tumblr Blog

icarusavery-deactivated20190303

Dare 2.O

“I didn’t know I was lonely ‘til I saw your face” - I Wanna Get Better By Bleachers

#otp: i will not be convinced to love you #MY BAES

He said what he meant; he was puzzled if you did not. Some people might have mistaken this for simplicity. But is it not a sort of genius to cut always to the heart?

The song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (via quotemybooks)

written-in-pen

I’m not who I was a year ago, and maybe just this once, change is good.

E. Grin (via written-in-pen)

kittyvalance

It didn’t seem real, Kitty had thought. Her chest growing heavier and tighter with each text sent and received with shaky fingertips. Death, while daunting, wasn’t new here ( especially for a French ) and yet this one felt entirely different and more personal than the rest. Unlike Vincent or Thomas or Charles…Daisy was one of them — a Whittemore kid. She was a peer, a friend, a sister and now she was just gone. Gone like Trevor. Gone like every last bit of everyone’s sanity and innocence. Gone. With a deep breath, Kitty wiped away the unsuspecting tears collecting before they could topple over the brim of her eyes, grabbing what she needed and making her way to Sean as fast as her feet would carry her. After all, she knew what Daisy had meant to him. It’d always been them two and whether he felt he needed Kitty there or not, she still cared far too much for him to be anywhere else. “Sean?” she called in question, more so to inform him of her presence as she knocked lightly upon his unlocked door as she opened it.

@s-french

s-french

Grief was a fairly unfamiliar emotion to a man who prided himself on becoming so weathered that he could withstand almost anything that changed around him. It was as if nothing could touch him for he had never wasted his time with such stupid and tangled emotions as love, pride or sadness. He had carried himself through life basing everything upon the fact that he knew who he was and he did not have to bend nor break in order to be himself. The loss of Daisy left a gaping hole within his person that he could not see nor understand, a man of logic unable to bridge this new gap that was provided to him by the world. It seemed very unfair that it would make him try against all odds to hold his world together when others had always torn it apart but he did not want to fall into an abyss of darkness like the one he had known twenty three years ago, not when it was clear that everyone else was about to do the same. Things mounted but he had been oblivious, for the first time turning a blind eye to these halls as he lay in his bed for hours on end as if perhaps if he did not leave his room then he would not come face to face with reality at all. His loss had not broken him visibly but it had softened him entirely, something very strange about the way he went about almost everything. He only turned his head at her voice, no argument, “Evening.”

#c: kitty

xlilystone

“They won’t understand me,” she protested. “No one has ever understood me, my own family didn’t understand me.” There could have been a bitter tone in there somewhere but she appeared defeated. Rather than popping she became a deflated balloon. “I hate this place,” a quiet realization.

Lily didn’t take her eyes off of him when he stood, wondering if he would just up and leave without telling her anything. But he didn’t, he stayed where he was and he again reminded her very briefly of the Sean who had cut her down from the tree so long ago. But this one gave more explanation than she was expecting and it took all that was in her not to cover her ears. “My Father wouldn’t do that, you don’t even know him,” but neither did she. Her expression twisted into something between anger and grief as he spoke. “This doesn’t even make any sense my Mother was sick. I - I’m not like you, I’m not some lab experiment.” The girl finally rose to her feet, shaking her head rather violently. “I don’t believe you.”

s-french

"He does not know himself. In another life I saved your family, I convinced him that you were not the problem, that there were greater answers and together we found them. But in this one, Lily, you were the cause of your Mother’s death but it was not your fault,” his gaze did not soften even slightly, he stepped towards her and there was only certainty thick in his low voice, those dark brown eyes that belonged to another radiating a warmth that almost felt like betrayal since they were made by a man so evil ( not Dr Bellamy, his origination, Orson French ). Her grief and anger were understandable, he had felt them, twisted out of shape, “You are not like me. You are good. I am born from pure evil, created from the genes directly of a man who caused this entire mess. I am the reincarnation of Orson French, destined and born only for the fascination of pain and to pay the highest price. You, you were created as a cure, a good thing among all of this evil, in your blood lays the thing that will turn my creations from vampiric beings to humans, you must believe me. You are not alone.” His hands moved, he clasped her shoulders as if his grip would tell her this was reality and as much as it seemed to be a terrible tragic tale they would all wish to escape, there was nothing they could do to undo the facts. “I could tell you more but my breath will be wasted, listen to me now, you know this is the truth and if you want answers then you must find Tommy and Camille now, Camille wishes to kill her Father, I have heard her speak of it and if you do not go with them tonight then you will never get a chance to have your answers,” he hesitated, his gaze firm as he released her. He wanted to grieve, he did not care for more answers, “There is no time in a time like this for doubt, now or never. I do not wish for answers, you must go alone. They meet outside the gates.”

#c: lily

xlilystone

She hadn’t felt uneasy until that moment, there was something so eerie about his words. Something that planted itself in her chest, sprouting roots through her body. “They’re going to hate me,” It was merely a whisper but she had meant it. “But I just wanted to fix this for all of you, I don’t want this place to hurt you anymore.” Lily was never an ill intentioned person, she hadn’t been from the moment she was born but people never seemed to see it that way. No one would ever see it that way. “We met?” Blue eyes scanned him again, trying to trigger something in her memory to give up what it knew. But nothing bubbled to the surface. “Then tell me, there’s nothing you’re going to say that I’m not already going to know, Sean.”

s-french

"They will not hate you. We only hate those things we cannot understand, Lily Stone.” There was some formality in those words that was beyond his normal tone, a quiet and assured certainty that there was no way or world in which all of these people would hate her. He understood what it meant to be a true monster, it was within his veins, he wanted her to understand that there were many things people were capable of but despising her for a stupid choice, at this point,w as most likely not one of them. “We have all made poor choices. That is life.” He thought of his sister but it was a waste of his time, his pain was a waste in general, just something that ailed him and brought him back to a place he had tried entirely to escape.

Her words caused him to stand, “Do you not know that there are always things to tell that you do not know?” The question hung heavy in the air and he knew in that very moment that he enjoyed being the one who bared bad news, a sad sort of satisfaction from the fact that it was his job and purpose alone. The great weight of living all these lives was that he knew far too much and wished for far too little. He had bypassed the laws of the universe and his punishment was that he could not escape the future of uncertainty nor the past of dirty secrets, “I met your Mother the night she planned to escape Richard Kent, you believed your entire life that she ran away, did you not? You wondered why and she did not give you answers because the truth, the truth was a far greater pain than the oblivion of lies. Your Father planned to kill you, Lily. Your Mother had no choice but to abandon the life she knew in order to save your life but in turn, she knew she was losing her own long before that day,” he looked at the girl but there was no sympathy in his eyes. She had asked for the truth and as bitter as it may have been it could have been much worse for she did not understand how great the consequence of Sean’s life had been, “You were born from death. As was I. Our origins are different but the same man helped to bring us into this world. A doctor. His name was Eric Bellamy. His life’s work was to create beings from nothing in the hopes of fixing a tainted history we all shared. While the rest of us were grown, some external thing that could be introduced into society, you were the one that was born. An experimentation, a combination of bad blood put together in the hopes of saving the lives of a minority, you were not just a child but a cure. Your parents did not know that the cost of experimentation with the very foundation of life was that sometimes the host of such a thing, in this case, you Mother, finds that they are befallen by death.”

#i'm about to pass out i'm deceased #c: lily

xlilystone

Her head fell to her hands as Sean spoke, the sick feeling in her stomach only worsening as she thought of the days to come. “They’re going to help us, they have to help us. They will because they’ll understand what’s happening we’ll show them the time machine we’ll explain everything.” It was the only thing she could come up with, it was the only thing she could cling to that wouldn’t leave her stranded in her mind. Why didn’t she just turn and run? “That’s not fair, we’ll figure this out we can hold a meeting and plan everything out.” It made sense to her, why couldn’t he see it the way that she did? Perhaps she was never one of them at all. But his final question caught her off guard, head raising as her gaze searched his, “No, what would I ever ask you about?”

s-french

"Perhaps,” he offered it as an answer but it was the greatest perhaps of all his lives. He could not guarantee that she was incorrect or that he was correct but something in the very air they breathed made his lungs feel heavy with the extremity of doubt. “I do not know much about meetings, I know only how easy it is for these people to turn on one another, to turn very bad indeed. You are free to try, you know I am the last person to stand in your way.” That much had not changed. Sean had never attempted to stop the others, he had kept his plans to himself, acting only when he felt he needed to for the good of the others, commiting the most evil of deeds for what he deemed the greater good. There was no doubt he would do so again. Her question caused him to be more silent, he leaned forwards to rest his elbows against his knees, “We met there, you were just a girl. There are things I know about you, Lily. I am willing to gie you the truth for we all deserve it but you must consider now that you cannot unhear whatever knowledge I bestow upon you despite it’s unpleasant nature.”

#c: lily #YES #ONE MORE REPLY AND WE THERE

xlilystone

“I didn’t-” Had she come here to undo what she had done? It sure looked that way. “I still think it was a good idea but I don’t want any of you to take the fall when they show up because we all had some part in this. Some more than others,” she murmured. The flustered feeling that was rising in her only made her frustrated, shutting her eyes for a moment as she attempted to clear her head. “I don’t want you to fix it for me, I just…. Surely you have some idea of something I can do?” Lily glanced over to him, eyes almost pleading for a way out. “Some way to get us out of this.”

s-french

He sat up straight then, he knew that there was no excuse and no time to waste in exhaustion and forfeit to the world. He had never quite given up and now was no exception but there was no practical solution to what she had created even if she searched for one, “I am a man of reason and logic, Lily, I do not understand how to reason with matters such as these. You must know truly that it will not matter what we do, with authorities involved a mess will be cleaned up however they see fit, one by one or in one foul swoop,” he did not mean to suggest that they would all be disposed of but perhaps it were true. Had he been the government or a body like it then he would not have wanted to leave the likes of Whittemore, a scientific marvel and a location that had created one too many scandals, alone. “You have quite possibly dug our graves and I can only assume that whether or not we stick together we are only as strong as our weakest link,” he knew it to be true. One of them had always turned, crumbled, broken down. They were not made to withstand great storms and he feared this was no exception even if that fear did not come naturally to him. He looked at those pleading eyes and it struck him only then that she did not remember the connection between this life and the other, “You do not remember me in that other life, do you? I thought perhaps you would return to ask me about it.”

#c: lily

xlilystone

Lily watched him, waiting for the yelling to start, or some form of negative reaction. And what she received was not what she expected. What the hell had happened here? Sean French of all people had simply agreed with her and had virtually seemed to admit defeat. Eyebrows knitting together she stared at him, mouth half open as she tried to form a sentence. “We’ve always figured something out before. You guys made a time machine for goodness sake, and maybe this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. We just- we just explain to them what happened.” Her arms folded over her chest, “If it was written as an ending then I’m sure I wouldn’t have come back.”

s-french

Sean wondered in that moment, how did I get here? It had been a long journey and frankly he had never wanted to be involved in any of it and yet here he stood twisted in between the lines of this age old tale of betrayal and destruction. In another life he surely would of raised his voice to argue with the circumstances that surrounded this event but in this one he was trying to scrape by with as few negative consequences as possible. Once Daisy and Kitty were both gone, would he have no place in this world besides as the inheritor of this ghastly place? “That did not exactly work out, darling,” the words were a mixture of flustered and blank, tired eyes staring at her and yet he did not look worn. It was as if he was now timeless, caught between two worlds, “You talk as if you expect me to have some answer but you came here to undo what you have done, did you not? I cannot do that for you.”

#c: lily

xlilystone

The laughter that made it’s way out of her only seemed to scare her, giving a small jump. “It is bad, I’ve put you all on a clock. I thought it would help but now I’m not so sure anymore.” When the idea first came to her she mulled it over again and again, and when she finally got in her car she knew that day there was no turning back. “I wanted to help, nothing was getting fixed so I, um…” Lily’s gaze finally met his, “The government is going to seize the school in fourteen days. And there was some part of me that couldn’t just let all of you be ambushed.”

s-french

Despite his honest thought that whatever she had done not making anything worse, he was surprised when the words that fell from her lips reached his ears, another revelation that threw him entirely from his tracks. He had not found many things able to startle him in life and yet as of late it appeared that people were bringing an entire new variety of problems to his doorstep that he could no longer avoid or stand back from. His expression barely betrayed him, nothing to note crossing his dark features, that was one thing that had never changed, “Indeed you appear to have made quite a mistake,” the words were plain, his lips pushing together as he glanced down at the ground beneath both their feet, the dirt probably holding more answers than any of them had ever known. This school was older than time now, “I do not know what is to be done about it now. We have all done wrong, perhaps this was already written as an ending.”

#LOOK AT HIS FACE #c: lily

xlilystone

Leaving had left her rather unaware of what had happened while she was away. She hadn’t kept tabs on anyone or anything, only hoping every now and then that Sam was capable of taking care of himself. But she was sure that this was not the same Sean that she had met at the beginning of all of this. Because the words that came from him were not the ones she was expecting - “I did, though I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t.” The longer she stood there the more she felt as if she was going to melt into a puddle, her gaze lingering on him. “Trust me, you shouldn’t say that. Not under the circumstances I’ve made,” Lily glanced away. She shouldn’t have come back, not like this.

s-french

"Many of us have that regret,” it was a simple comment, one addressed at nothing but the fact that many a person who had passed through these gates seemed to harbour a distaste for the place. He did not resent the school for it’s darkness, after all, that darkness was a part of many of them whether they knew it or not. It was implausible to concern yourself with distaste for things that you could neither change nor remove from your being, he had spent a lifetime or two learning that lesson. “It cannot be that bad, Lily,” he was sure of that alone. His heavy heart reminded him that whatever came next could not compare to the loss he felt. What was worse than losing someone you had loved so dearly your entire life? He came to sit beside her although, of course, he did not attempt to touch her, his gaze barely flittering to her face, “What is it that you have done now?”

#c: lily

xlilystone

Dark hair fell over her shoulders, a strand tumbling down onto her face. She was too busy folding and unfolding her hands to push it out of the way.

This place had turned her into a mess.

So she had done the only thing she could think of - and now her guilt was eating her alive. It was there, crawling under her skin so she had returned to the place that had gotten her into this mess. Surely she couldn’t just leave them in the dark, she had to tell somebody what she had done.

s-french

This school would always remain. It was shrouded in darkness and memories of lives that had befallen him to do nothing but bring ghosts to his doorstep, each one with a different face of someone that had once been a part of his life. For a moment he thought the girl that he saw, her dark hair, head angled away from him, too, was a ghost. The ghost of a memory of someone who had left long ago whether by that he meant Penny or Lily, he had after all been accustomed to them both in two different lifetimes. His sister’s death hung heavy like a cloak over his heart, the beating dimmed as if he too may have been dying by the mere thought she was now gone. He did not know how to deal with the kind of pain that was extravagant and his walk had done nothing to soothe the voice in his head that told him how awful this had gotten, a voice that belonged to both him and the remnants of Orson French, “You returned,” usually more words would of left his lips, a more scathing tone, some kind of remark, but now he looked at a girl he had once cut down from a tree in this life and bumped into legs first in another and the only words that he could truly find were, “It is nice to see you,” although it was not at all. Politeness was all he had left within himself to offer in a time like this.