Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader - formerly Sam Winchester x reader
Summary: you and Dean get a little closer, hidden feelings come to light.ย
An: finally something for my Dean. Iโm in a bit of a Dean phase rn I canโt even lie, like Iโve been absorbing so much Dean content as of late so hereโs to that. Definitely gonna do a part three where they finallyโฆ yk.
wc: 1.9k - Dean Masterlist - part 1
You left home.
The change had been simple at first. You had cut Sam from your life in the ways that mattered. That was every way.
You supposed it was because you had accepted a long time ago that you and Sam weren't meant to be. That maybe the budding feelings you've had for his brother was the universes fucked up way of ruining the small family you had.
It hadn't. It had just opened your eyes to the bigger picture.
You were at a park, sitting on a bench watching the lives of men, women, and children who hadn't been tainted with the knowledge of too much.
You sighed, pulling your knees to your chest, praying that the approaching footsteps weren't who you thought they were.
"You ever plan on comin home?" Said a familiar voice that you had come to miss. You shrugged your shoulders. "Didn't know if I was still welcome." You replied.
Dean takes a seat next to you. You can feel the warmth of his body even through the layers of clothing he insists looked sexy.
He snorts "please. Sam and I say worse things to each other on a daily basis" he tries to comfort. You knew he wasn't truly aware of your inner turmoil.
You shook your head, looking at him, he looked like he hadn't been sleeping, and drinking too much, even for him. "I meant what I said Dean. Sam and Iโฆ were done. I think we have been for a long time and just refused to accept it."
Deans eyes connect with yours, his eyebrows were drawn and the frown on his face deepened. "Sam loves you"
You laughed bitterly "he left me Dean. Over and over. Would you do that toโฆ someone?" 'To me' is what you meant, but you couldn't say it.
Deans expression didn't waver, but his anwser came immediately "I'd take myself out before I willingly leaveโฆ someone I love" 'before I willingly leave you' is what he meant but couldn't say. "I'd- I'd like to say Sam would do the sameโฆ but-" he couldn't finish his sentence as if finally accepting what you already had.
You swallowed harshly, understanding perfectly "right"
"Right"
ย You went home with him. Against your better judgment you did.
You looked around the bunker cautiously, not ready to face Sam and the final acceptance that comes with it.
Dean noticed the caution on your face "He's not here. Left out this morning for a hunt. Shouldn't be back for a few days."
Your body visibly relaxed. What Dean refrained from telling you, was that he made Sam go because he knew you were less likely to come home if he was there.
You looked at Dean, who looked just a few pounds lighter. "Thank you for bringing me home" you said, giving him a soft smile before taking off to your room.
You spent the rest of the day there.
You were in the middle of making your bed when a knock sounded at your cracked door. You looked over and it was Dean, pushing the door open further, his apron on and a plate in his hand.
You raised your eyebrows, he cleared his throat "I uh- figured you were-" he gestured at your new change of clothes "decent, since your door was open" his ears reddened
You smiled "lucky you" you mused.
He gave a small smile, "yeahโฆ well I made you dinner. Know you like my burgers so I fired up the grill" he held out the plate to you.
You walked towards him, grabbing the plate noticing how he kept the burger meat seperate from the bun and all of the toppings to the side because you hated soggy burger buns.
"Thank you Dean." You said, the smile on your face growing. "I- did you already eat? Or can I join you?"
"Uh no, I was gonna watch a movie in the Dean cave, you can join if you want." He offered.
You nodded "yeah of course"
That's how you spent the night, Dean, a snack bowl he had prepared (with the hopes of you joining him) and a cowboy movie.
You spent half of it giggling at deans dramatic but accurate reinactions of the movie.
The next half you spent asleep, head in deans lap. He had moved you because your head kept slipping from his shoulder.
His heart sank and soared at the sight of you in his lap. On one hand, the guilt from the feelings that had been eating him alive for years was gnawing at him more than ever. Sam's his brother, he'd do anything for him.
But in the other hand he couldnโt deny that his brother didn't deserve you. The woman that picked him up after every fight, the one who stayed beside him even after he'd done something to humiliate her (yet again) the woman he kept proving would never be the one for him.
Dean couldn't fault you for leaving Sam. Hell he'd prayed for the day that you realized he wasn't it for you. Selfishly he prayed for the day that you looked towards him with eyes that looked at him like he hung the stars and moon for you. Because he would.
Of all the things in the world Dean would do anything for you. Anything. Even if it came down to it- betraying his brother.
He tuned out the galloping sounds coming from the tv, focus set solely on you. His thumb caressed your jaw, holding back from saying everything his heart pleaded of him.
Three words and eight letters. Except he couldn't say them, not out loud. Not to you.
ย You woke up in your bed, your mind immediately reminded you of last night. You smiled to yourself at the content you felt.
It had been a long time since you felt that. Content. Not worrying yourself to the ground wondering if the man you loved truly loved you back. Now it didn't matter.
You slipped out of bed, quietly making your way to the kitchen to put coffee on. Your foot tapped impatiently, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing before realizing you needed a mug.
You moved towards the cabinet where the mugs were kept, groaning in irritation when you noticed the mugs far too out of your reach. "Seriously?" You muttered.
"Need a hand?" Deans voice infiltrated your ears. You turned around, eyes locking with Dean who looked at you with raised eyebrows.
You nod, stepping back. Dean brushed past you, effortlessly grabbing a mug and placing it in your hand. He glances as the coffee maker "enough for me?" He asks. You nod, he turns to grab one for himself.
"You always bring me back." you spill randomly.
He looks at you, confused and intrigued "what do you mean" his eyes narrow in the way they always did when he was trying to decipher something.
His gaze was heavy on you, like you could physically feel the weight of it. It made your heart flutter, the familiarity of it.
You turned away from him, opting to pour your coffee than watch his reaction to the words about to spill from your mouth. "When Sam messes up. Or when he decides that I'm no longer needed in the next chapter of his life. It's never him to come pick up the pieces" you explain as the coffee fills the cup.
Dean was caught off guard. Of course he knew that. Because something in him. Some sick and twisted part of him kept hoping that one day its be him that you come home to.
"Why?" You asked
'I'd be better for you. I bring you back because even with Sam I can't do this without you. I don't wanna. I want you to hurt anymore but I can't sit and watch you go.' It's what his heart said.
"Because you deserve better" was what slipped out. His gaze stayed heavy on your back, the weight almost felt like a plea. For everything and nothing at the same time.
Please let me down easy.
Please give yourself to me.
You placed the mug down on the counter, letting out a breath "I need more than that Dean. Tell me the truth." You knew there was more. You felt it and you knew he did too.
"I- look at me. Please" Dean softly demanded. You turned to him, his eyes were softer, shoulders sagging, body looking like it was half in, half out.
He moved closer to you, "I- I bring you back because I need you here." His hands grab yours " even if I can never have you, even if you're Sam's-"
"I'm not"
"Doesn't matter. You were and I can't have you because of it. But I'd rather have you around than not at all."
Your vision blurs, tears filling your waterline. "You can have me. For once be selfish." You pleaded with him. Dean closed his eyes, forehead leaning against yours "you still love Sam" he tells you.
You shake your head ready to object but he cuts you off "and even if you don't. You're off limits to me."
"I don't have to be" you muttered "he's your brother, but where was he when you were In purgatory? While I spent night and day trying to find you? In bed with another woman. One he loved."
Dean pulled away from you, he looked shocked. As if you had burned him. "You looked for me?" He asked breathlessly.
"I never stopped."
In the blink of an eye he was on you. His lips pressed against yours and for the first time ever your world seemed at peace. You moaned into his kiss, your hand moving to the back of his head and tangling in his hair.
"Thought you forgot about me" he muttered against your lips. You whined in response because how could he possibly think that? "I could never." You promised.
Deans tongue danced with yours, both of your breathing harsh and heavy against the others skin. It was so wrong, but it felt so right.
Dean grabbed your hips, pulling you as flush with him as possible. He pulled away from the kiss, his lust blown eyes connecting with your own "I need you to be mine now" he said. His eyebrows were pulled together and he looked two seconds from dropping to his knees.
He wasn't going to beg you. Not verbally. And even if he did, you didn't need to. The second you realized that Dean was the one, months before he'd returned from purgatory, you knew.
Your lips brushed against his, "I've been yours" you whispered back. Dean smiled, connecting your lips once again he pulled you tighter "damn right"
You could feel his touch travel through your bloodstream, it sparked feelings in you that you didn't know where possible. The touch, smell, and feeling of him made you feel like you were floating.
However, that all came crashing down when the sound of a clearing throat interrupted you. You killed away from Dean, looking towards the sound.
There he was, back two days early from his trip. Sam stood in the doorway, looking between you and Dean who made no effort to separate further than you already had.
Sam's jaw clenched "you weren't kidding" he said.
You shook your head "nope. How does it feel?" Your expression cold and hardened. You stepped towards him "I hope it hurts. I hope it shatters you. Maybe then- you will know a fraction of that hurt you caused me. Over and over again."
Sam's looked utterly crushed. His eyes connected with deans who's expression was as unreadable as it always was.
He looked back at you there were now tears in his eyes.
I saw this edit and it makes me think that they should make a movie or tv show about two young women who befriend each other and find out they are both being courted by charming vampires until they realize the vampires in question really are dangerous and violent monsters, so they team up to take them down and become vampire huntresses together (+ they fall in love).
Does this make me weird ๐? Itโs giving demon Dean and soulless Sam and Iโm here for it in the best ways
I can't view them BC I don't have Instagram and it keeps redirecting me to the app store but I'm pretty sure I know what you're talking about and the predator/prey stuff isn't really my thing but...this is kinda hot.
Explicit/16+ - predator/prey, hunting, free use - gn!reader
I feel like they wouldn't do the whole dressing up thing naturally but would 100% hunt you down if they couldn't find you one day, then when you tell them you're into it, they go all out.
They get the gear, they "release" you into the forest somewhere in the middle of Oregon where no one will find you and get to work.
They split up and make it a competition, whoever finds you first gets to fuck you. And if they can keep you quiet, they can keep you, but if you're too loud, the other one will find you and they'll both use you however they like.
When they're like this, they're ruthless fucking killers and they will stop at nothing.
They'll keep you in the forest for as long as you can stand, not caring about creature comforts, only wanting to fuck you until you break.
wordcount: 1622
summary: having to do a presentation in front of a classroom full of teenagers feels a lot less terrifying when there's a six foot four moose standing beside you, willing to do anything and everything to make it easier for you.
warnings: fluff, deer!reader (fem), moose!sammy, idiots in love figuring out n being oblivious, highschool life is Hell, reader implied to have social anxiety, sammy is a sweetheart, dean teasing because heโs a through n through messy older brotherโ think thatโs all for now !!!
The announcement should've come with a warning. A waiver or something, maybe a small note explaining exactly why high school teachers enjoyed inflicting psychological warfare upon their students. Because standing in front of a classroom full of teenagers and willingly drawing attention to yourself? Sounded suspiciously similar to public execution. Unfortunately, your teacher seemed to disagree. "Project presentations will be worth thirty percent of your grade for this semester" The collective groan that swept through the classroom felt somewhat validating. Good. At least everyone else understood how shitty the situation was. "You guys can choose your own partners"
The room immediately erupted into movementโ chairs scraped, people called out to friends, someone nearly tripped over a backpack. Meanwhile, you simply turned your head and Sam was already looking at you.
"Hm?" He tilts his head in a silent question.
You barely had to reply, simply nodding with a soft: "Mhm"
That settled that.
Throughout the morning, working with Sam was surprisingly easy. You'd expected at least one argument, one disagreement or at least one moment where you had to remind him that not every project required the same level of dedication as a NASA launch. Instead, the two of you easily slipped into a rhythmโ research during lunch, planning during free periods, library sessions after school.
Sam handled information like he was born for it. Facts, sources, organization. Meanwhile, your contributions mostly consisted of listening to him ramble on and on about different concepts. In your defense, it was mesmerizing. He put such dedication and care into learning, explaining everything to youโ not to make you feel bad about not knowing it already, but to let you into his little world of knowledge.ย "You color coded the concepts?"
He glanced up from his notebook, wide hazel eyes meeting yours through the messy locks or brown hair falling over his face. "Mhm?"
"Sammy" You canโt help but chuckle softly, disbelievingly fond at his logic.
"What?"
"People donโt usually do that"
His eyebrows pulled together in that confused-puppy look he got all the time. "How else would you organize it?"
You stared at him, lips slowly pulling into a soft smile, shrugging. โFair enoughโ Sure, organizing the necessary points by red-orange-green depending on importance wasnโt the usual way of going about it, but it wasnโt like either one of you were normal in any other way so whatever.
His boyish grin arrived immediately, dimples and all. God those pretty dimples.
The first main problem appeared once yโall started practicing the speaking part of the presentation. Not the project itself, not the information, not even the note cards. The actual standing-up-in-front-of-people part.
Sam finished his section without issue. Despite being fairly quiet in class and soft spoken overall, it was fairly easy for him to openly talk about the stuff that he likes. The awkward six foot four nerd turns into a calm professor-level presenter with big words and hand gestures.
Then it was your turn. You stood, looked down at your notes, and started reading. You got a good three sentences in, maybe four before every word started tangling together. Your mouth felt wrong, the library felt too warm, too quiet, tooโย "Sorry" You immediately sat back down, heat creeping into your face. Embarrassing. Pathetic. Ridiculous. Oh my God you were gonna look so stupidโ Sam was going to do an amazing presentation and youโd just make it look awful with your trembling words and dodgy eyes.
Across the table, Sam frownedโ not judgmental, just concerned. "You okay?"
The answer came automatically. "Yeah"
His expression didn't change, which was unfortunate because by now he knew you pretty darn well. And apparently? That meant he knew when you werenโt being fully honest either.
Presentation day arrived far too quickly for your liking. You spent most of the first period considering your options, they included:
A) running away
B) faking your own death
C) running away after faking your own death
None of them seemed realistic. (Unfortunately) By the time you reached your locker, Sam was already there, waiting for you like always. "Hey"
"Hi" He handed you a stack of note cards, you blinked while looking over them. Then blinked again. "...Sam?"
"What?"
You flipped through them. Most of the presentation had been rearrangedโ the longer sections, the introductions, the parts involving speaking in front of everyoneโฆ They were all his now. Your eyes lifted to meet his warm, expectant gaze. "You changed it"
He shifts on his feet, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck as if it werenโt a huge deal for you. "A little"
"Sammy"
His huge shoulders hunching slightly into himselfโ making himself smaller like he always does. "You looked nervous" The words were simple, matter-of-factโ not pity, not judgment. Just an honest observation. The way someone might mention it was raining outside instead of confessing the sweetest, most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for you without even having to ask. You stared at him, then down at the cards and then back at him. Your chest felt weirdly tightโ not the bad kind of tight, like when trying to speak in front of the class. Tight in the โoh my God youโre such a sweetheartโ kind of way.
"Oh"
Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "If that's okay, I meanโฆ I donโt want to be overbearing or just assume anything or whateverโ"
You laughed softly. Because somehow he'd spent hours reorganizing an entire presentation and still looked worried you'd be upset. "Yeah" A pause, you smile softly up at him. "That's okay" The relief on his face was immediate.
After that, yโall walk together to class just like every other day. There were a couple other groups that went before you, but eventually the inevitable cameโ standing in front of the class still sucked. For the record, it sucked tremendously. (No amount of preparation could change that) Your heart hammered against your ribs, your body felt hot, the room felt too big, too loud, too everything. You glanced sideways, Sammy stood beside youโ calm, steady, ready. From the outside? It mustโve looked a bit ridiculous, the towering wall of floppy brown hair shielding your smaller, skittish frame from the classโ searing gaze. When Sam noticed you looking, he offered a small smile, the kind meant only for you. Somehow, your breathing evened out, even if it was just a little.
The presentation beganโ whenever you stuttered, he picked up the thread. Whenever you hesitated, he gave you a second to recover without making a big deal out of it. Never interrupting, never taking over, just...being there, beside you like always.
The presentation was done before you knew it, over much faster than youโd made yourself think it would last. Relief had already started settling into your bones by the moment yโall sat back down.
A couple hours later, the final bell rang. Students flooded into the hallway while you and Sam lingered behind, gathering your stuff with all the time and peace yโall used to have around each other. For a moment, it was just the two of you. "Pretty sure you carried that entire presentation" You hummed softly, glancing over at him from the notes you were stuffing into your backpack.
Sam looked up, confused like the idea had never occurred to him. "You did all of the slides"
"Still"
He shrugged, simple and easy. The answer was obvious in his mind. "That's what partners are for" Something warm settled quietly inside your chestโ comfortable, familiar, safe. Like finding shelter beneath the branches of a tree you'd known for what felt like forever but never fully trusted you could use. For a second, you wondered if maybe the guide on the field trip had been right, animals did seek familiar environments during periods of stress. For you? That had slowly become Sam Winchester.ย
When Sam got back home, the front door had barely closed behind him when Dean's voice drifted lazily from the couch. "Soโฆ"
The younger brother immediately groaned. "Dude, donโt"
Dean grinned without even looking away from the TV (Something western and probably older than both of them playing on the screen) "Didn't say anything."
"You were going to" He huffs, kicking off his shoes and walking into the living room.
The blonde shrugs shamelessly. "I was"
Sam plopped down onto the couch next to him. "Don't"
Dean finally looked over, a teasing glint to his eyes. Of course he had to tease him! It was his duty as an older brother. "How'd the presentation go with your deer?"
The tips of Sam's ears immediately turned pink. "She's not my deer"
"Good" He nodded faux solemnity. "Glad to hear the six hours you spent reorganizing that presentation paid off"
Sam froze. "...What?"
"Dude" Dean scoffs, glancing over at his brother. "We share a room" A pause for dramatism because of course he does. "You were up until like one in the morning, โcourse I noticed the scribbling nโlight on"
Sam groans in embarrassment, rubbing his hands over his face. "I was just helping"
The blonde barks out a laugh. "Right"
"I was" Sam doubles down, glaring at his older brother.
"Sammy"
"What?"
"You completely rewrote some crappy project โcause you saw she was nervous" The moose shifted awkwardly, back of his neck suddenly becoming very interesting to touch. Dean pointed at him. "See?"
"What?"
He scoffs, gesturing vaguely at him. "That"
"Dude what?"
"That thing you do"
Sam frowned with puppy-like confusion, head tilting to the side. "I don't know what you're talking about"
Dean looked toward the ceiling like he was searching for strength from someone up above. "Man, you got it bad"
Requests are closed for the first time EVER ๐คฏ I love you guysโs requests but because I took a week or so from writing theyโve managed to pile up. I love conversations with you guys and your requests are always so good! Iโve made a few new friends since Iโve started writing more but I would like to start shifting focus back to my stories.
Twisted luck - Sam Winchester rewrite
HNTRZ - band Sam x Fem!reader
SERENDEPITY - Klaus mikaelson x fem reader
Winters heart - Bucky Barnes x fem!reader marvel rewrite (unreleased)
SOUL-TIED - Klaus mikaelson a fem!reader tvd rewrite. (Unreleased)
Thereโs so much unfinished with these stories and ideas have been coming to me like crazy, thereโs nothing I want more than to continue these stories. Now requests wonโt be closed permanently, mostly until I clear my inbox, but they may take a bit longer for me to get to as they wonโt be my main focus. If you donโt mind feel free to send them in once theyโre open again :)
Aww thank you so much anon ๐ซถ๐ผ youโre literally the sweetest ๐ฅน my sleeping has improved tremendously writing motivation is replenished!! ๐คญ
I have a very serious question to ask, and it may be difficult to answer.
What's your favourite animal?
I've come to the realization that I only know three of my mutuals' favourite animals and I wanna bring back 6 year old me's favourite question and throw it at some people, it's surprisingly useful information to have if you're a odd person lol
Mine's dogs bc I love mine to tears but I also adore cats and some other, less common cute ones like otters, raccoons, dikdiks, quokkas and many more <3
Oh this is easy.
Iโve had a fascination with wolves since I was a kid. Itโs never changed just wolves. I had a project in second grade and I did a huge diorama on it and got first place because it was a hyper fixation I already had all the info I needed. I still to this day actively seek out wolf documentaries (there arenโt very many) when Iโm trying to sleep.
But it makes sense my top 5 fave characters includes Klaus mikaelson.
I also have ZERO clue about the last two animals you named.
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says โno eyesโฆ no noseโฆ no face. Donโt trust.โ To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
PAIRINGS: Dean Winchester/Fem!Reader, Demon!Dean Winchester/Fem!Reader, Mark of Cain!Dean Winchester/Fem!Reader
CHARACTERS: Female Reader Insert Character, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Rowena MacLeod, Charlie Bradbury, Crowley, Castiel, Claire Novak, Cain, Death the Horseman, Donatello Redfield, Amara
TO NOTE/WARNINGS: Angst, Smut, Spoilers for S9 & S10, Established Relationship, Demon Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Cure for the Mark of Cain, Minor Character Death, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No Comfort, Torture, Injury, Needles, Implied Cheating, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Biting, Alcohol, Nightmares, Grief/Mourning, Canon-Typical Violence, Robbery, Attempted Sexual Assault, Murder, Mildly Dubious Consent, Angry Sex, Cunnilingus, Spanking, Arguing, Vomitting, Miscommunication, Betrayal, Blood, Depression, Makeup Sex, Emotional Sex, Gentle Sex, Shower Sex, Self-Destructive Dean Winchester, Led Zeppelin Reference, Angst with a Happy Ending(?), Not Canon Compliant, Fingering, Cowgirl Position
A/N: Demon!Dean and MOC!Dean hold my heart. I've been wanting to write an angsty fanfiction about the Mark of Cain arc for a while now, and the @jacklesversebingo challenge has inspired me to finally go for it. I haven't written a multichapter fanfiction in years, so I'm both nervous and excited. This is a longer project, bear with me. Be mindful of the warnings for each chapter, please. Feedback is always appreciated. <3
SUMMARY: As his nightmares get worse, Dean realizes heโs turning into something heโs terrified of; he needs his girlfriendโs help. The corruption of the Mark of Cain leads to a heart-wrenching promise. Can the curse be lifted or will it leave scars?
PLAYLIST
Chapter 1: Practice My Confession
Chapter 2: Breathe Me In, Bleed Me Out
Chapter 3: Bruised Fruits & Rotten Cores [PODFIC]
Chapter 4: You're Stained
Chapter 5: Fan Fiction
Chapter 6: Drown My Demons
Chapter 7: Love Is the Death of Peace of Mind
Chapter 8: I'm a Winged Insect, You're a Funeral Pyre
Chapter 9: Matador
Chapter 10: Rain On My Parade
Chapter 11: Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You
Epilogue: Daybreak
LISTEN TO THE PODFIC OF CHAPTER 3 ON YOUTUBE OR SPOTIFY:
Podfic Narration Time โ Excerpt of โTaintedโ by xReikaLiane (AKA ChevroletDean on tumblr, xReika on AO3) loves the Mark of Cain and DemonDea
Holy angst. Iโve been blessed today. Is it bad that I ACTIVELY look for this kind of angst? Like on a daily basis. And somehow Dean always has the best freaking angst
Summary: You find out why Sam has been acting so distant lately.
An: cried writing this. Hope you cry reading it :) also may be mistakes. Not proofread.
Divider fromโฆ i donโt know i lost the creator :/
You cant say youโre lonely. No that wouldnโt be fair, you had Sam, Bobby, Jo, Ellen. And that was more than enough. But you still felt cold, empty and alone.
Sitting on the couch of the motel it was 3 a.m. and Sam and had fallen asleep a long time ago, and you were somewhat glad, because he hadnโt been sleeping at all since dean was torn apart in front of you and dragged to hell. To be completely honest you hadnโt been sleeping either, but you worried more about Sam driving himself to death than you.
Deans time had ended a month and a half ago. Seventy-two days to be exact, and night mares had plagued the both of you like never before. Youโd tried everything in your power to change his fate. To save your family, but dean was the foundation and without him everything fell apart.
Sam had been different. More aggitated and aggressive, angry. Even with you, and when he wasnโt upset with you he was downright ignoring you. He wouldnโt acknowledge you when you walked in a room. Or when you asked him a question, he was always in his phone, as if waiting for a message or a call. You chalked it up to him not believing Dean was actually gone, because you yourself still felt your heart skip a beat when you got a message or a call, hoping and praying for it to be dean.
You however started to be more skeptical when Sam started to sneak away, or just flat out leave for hours at a time, and when heโd come back youโd ask him where heโd been heโd give you some half thought out excuse of โi needed some airโ or โi was running some errandsโ but he never returned with anything.
So thatโs why you sat here biting your lip, bouncing your leg and hoping you wouldnโt find what you thought youโd find in his phone. You never thought youโd question Samโs loyalty to you, but something was going on and if he wouldnโt be honest with you about it then youโd have to find out by yourself.
You let out a shaky breath before opening his phone. His passcode was still the same, deans birthday. You clicked on his messages and the first name you read was ruby. Your eyebrows raised, youโd asked him months ago if heโd still been talking to ruby and he denied it with an attitude. Your heart clenched at the thought of what you might find when you opened their messages.
With shaky fingers you clicked on her name and immediately your heart shattered at Samโs most recent message to her.
โRuby where are you?โ
โI need you, i need moreโ
You shut off the phone, not needing to see any more. You let out a quiet sob, covering your mouth with your shaky hands. You donโt understand heโs cheating on you. With ruby. A demon. All the while you sat here, hoping to find a solution to bring his brother back from hell.
You looked over to his sleeping form, his chest rose and fell slowly and your chest began to feel empty, an attempt to numb your aching heart which didnโt do you any well. You looked round the room, at the mix of his and your belongings.
You knew what you had to do, the only thing you had left to do. Leave.
You wouldnโt say anything to him, not that you had anything to say, you wouldnโt try to make him love you again, or beg from him to see you how he used to because it was a lost cause. Your Sam was gone. Completely, tainted by the works of a demon and he couldnโt see it.
Ruby had stuck her claws into him and made him into her own little puppet, and if this was the road he wants to go down you wont stop him, but you sure as hell wont sit around and watch it happen.
You heard Sam stir just as you zipped up your bag, you paused hoping he wouldnโt wake up but you knew how much of a light sleeper he was and how low that probability was. You closed your eyes at being caught and not just leaving like youโd hoped.
โWhatโre you doing?โ Sam questioned with a groggy voice. You swallowed thickly in hopes your voice wouldnโt break when you spoke โleaving.โ You say simply as tears streamed down your face. Sam sat up in his bed a deep frown on his face. โWhat? Why?โ He asked urgently. That was the most care heโd used in his tone in such a long time, he almost sounded like his old self.
You moved over to the table where you left his phone, picked it up and tossed it to him. only allowing him to see your tear stricken face for a second before you turned you back to him again. โRuby says you know where to find her.โ You say.
Oh
Oh..
Sam looks at his phone with guilt eyes. You knew, and for whatever reason you werenโt angry with him. If you were you werenโt showing it. Heโd expected you to blow up, hit him, yell at him. Threaten to kill him even. But nothing. None of that happened and that hurt him even more than if you wouldโve. Because that meant heโd completely broken your heart, you ran out of care and energy. Sam had completely drained you and he knew it.
โY/n-โ you finally turned around, cutting him off with teary eyes and a shaky voice โNo. No sam, donโt do that. Donโt apologize. Donโt be sorry. You knew what you were doing, donโt feel bad just because you got caughtโ you say
You bite your lip, holding your breath to keep in a sob that had been begging to be let out. Sam puts his head down in shame. He did, know what he was doing. From the very beginning. He didnโt stop it and now it was too late. Now you were leaving him. By choice.
โJust tell me this one thingโ you say, making him look back up to you expectantly. โWhen did you stopโฆ loving me?โ You hated how weak you sounded. How stupid you felt asking that question to a man who cheated on you with a demon.
Samโs eyes widened with worry โneverโ he said quickly, shaking his head as he stood up from the bed, moving towards you โy/n i never-โ You took a step back holding up your hand to stop him. You shook your head telling him not to come any closer.
He nodded, averting his eyes guiltily. You grabbed your bag, moving towards the door. Sam watched your hand hover over the handle and for a second he hoped that youโd stay. Give him another chance but then those words slipped passed your lips and the remainder of his world shattered.
I still fking love this fic. Like one of my absolute favorites Iโve written. If you read this please listen to โout of loveโ by Alessia Cara it was my favorite song at the time and my gosh it makes this fic 10x more agonizing.
If you canโt tell yet I LOVE angst with no happy ending!
