Summary: You find out why Sam has been acting so distant lately.
An: cried writing this. Hope you cry reading it :) also may be mistakes. Not proofread.
Divider from… i don’t know i lost the creator :/
You cant say you’re lonely. No that wouldn’t be fair, you had Sam, Bobby, Jo, Ellen. And that was more than enough. But you still felt cold, empty and alone.
Sitting on the couch of the motel it was 3 a.m. and Sam and had fallen asleep a long time ago, and you were somewhat glad, because he hadn’t been sleeping at all since dean was torn apart in front of you and dragged to hell. To be completely honest you hadn’t been sleeping either, but you worried more about Sam driving himself to death than you.
Deans time had ended a month and a half ago. Seventy-two days to be exact, and night mares had plagued the both of you like never before. You’d tried everything in your power to change his fate. To save your family, but dean was the foundation and without him everything fell apart.
Sam had been different. More aggitated and aggressive, angry. Even with you, and when he wasn’t upset with you he was downright ignoring you. He wouldn’t acknowledge you when you walked in a room. Or when you asked him a question, he was always in his phone, as if waiting for a message or a call. You chalked it up to him not believing Dean was actually gone, because you yourself still felt your heart skip a beat when you got a message or a call, hoping and praying for it to be dean.
You however started to be more skeptical when Sam started to sneak away, or just flat out leave for hours at a time, and when he’d come back you’d ask him where he’d been he’d give you some half thought out excuse of “i needed some air” or “i was running some errands” but he never returned with anything.
So that’s why you sat here biting your lip, bouncing your leg and hoping you wouldn’t find what you thought you’d find in his phone. You never thought you’d question Sam’s loyalty to you, but something was going on and if he wouldn’t be honest with you about it then you’d have to find out by yourself.
You let out a shaky breath before opening his phone. His passcode was still the same, deans birthday. You clicked on his messages and the first name you read was ruby. Your eyebrows raised, you’d asked him months ago if he’d still been talking to ruby and he denied it with an attitude. Your heart clenched at the thought of what you might find when you opened their messages.
With shaky fingers you clicked on her name and immediately your heart shattered at Sam’s most recent message to her.
‘Ruby where are you?’
‘I need you, i need more’
You shut off the phone, not needing to see any more. You let out a quiet sob, covering your mouth with your shaky hands. You don’t understand he’s cheating on you. With ruby. A demon. All the while you sat here, hoping to find a solution to bring his brother back from hell.
You looked over to his sleeping form, his chest rose and fell slowly and your chest began to feel empty, an attempt to numb your aching heart which didn’t do you any well. You looked round the room, at the mix of his and your belongings.
You knew what you had to do, the only thing you had left to do. Leave.
You wouldn’t say anything to him, not that you had anything to say, you wouldn’t try to make him love you again, or beg from him to see you how he used to because it was a lost cause. Your Sam was gone. Completely, tainted by the works of a demon and he couldn’t see it.
Ruby had stuck her claws into him and made him into her own little puppet, and if this was the road he wants to go down you wont stop him, but you sure as hell wont sit around and watch it happen.
You heard Sam stir just as you zipped up your bag, you paused hoping he wouldn’t wake up but you knew how much of a light sleeper he was and how low that probability was. You closed your eyes at being caught and not just leaving like you’d hoped.
“What’re you doing?” Sam questioned with a groggy voice. You swallowed thickly in hopes your voice wouldn’t break when you spoke “leaving.” You say simply as tears streamed down your face. Sam sat up in his bed a deep frown on his face. “What? Why?” He asked urgently. That was the most care he’d used in his tone in such a long time, he almost sounded like his old self.
You moved over to the table where you left his phone, picked it up and tossed it to him. only allowing him to see your tear stricken face for a second before you turned you back to him again. “Ruby says you know where to find her.” You say.
Oh
Oh..
Sam looks at his phone with guilt eyes. You knew, and for whatever reason you weren’t angry with him. If you were you weren’t showing it. He’d expected you to blow up, hit him, yell at him. Threaten to kill him even. But nothing. None of that happened and that hurt him even more than if you would’ve. Because that meant he’d completely broken your heart, you ran out of care and energy. Sam had completely drained you and he knew it.
“Y/n-“ you finally turned around, cutting him off with teary eyes and a shaky voice “No. No sam, don’t do that. Don’t apologize. Don’t be sorry. You knew what you were doing, don’t feel bad just because you got caught” you say
You bite your lip, holding your breath to keep in a sob that had been begging to be let out. Sam puts his head down in shame. He did, know what he was doing. From the very beginning. He didn’t stop it and now it was too late. Now you were leaving him. By choice.
“Just tell me this one thing” you say, making him look back up to you expectantly. “When did you stop… loving me?” You hated how weak you sounded. How stupid you felt asking that question to a man who cheated on you with a demon.
Sam’s eyes widened with worry “never” he said quickly, shaking his head as he stood up from the bed, moving towards you “y/n i never-“ You took a step back holding up your hand to stop him. You shook your head telling him not to come any closer.
He nodded, averting his eyes guiltily. You grabbed your bag, moving towards the door. Sam watched your hand hover over the handle and for a second he hoped that you’d stay. Give him another chance but then those words slipped passed your lips and the remainder of his world shattered.
I still fking love this fic. Like one of my absolute favorites I’ve written. If you read this please listen to “out of love” by Alessia Cara it was my favorite song at the time and my gosh it makes this fic 10x more agonizing.
If you can’t tell yet I LOVE angst with no happy ending!
Okay now that my sleep is rejuvenating (thank god I was suffering!) I will be returning to writing.
I’m gonna finish the 15 requests I have and then focus on my story’s. Mostly Twisted luck, but others like; serendepity, HNTRZ, and a few others because I have been slacking on them.
I will still take requests and write them but it may take longer as my main focus will be elsewhere.
You guys, sorry I haven’t been writing or interacting/responding to you guys 😅
Kinda going through it, I’m sleep deprived and can’t get to sleep for anything. I haven’t been able to for about a week or so. I’m not ignoring anyone, literally I’m just spending all of my time trying to sleep and very snappy because I get cranky on low sleep, I also get like 10x more forgetful because I’m fatigued.
This happens all the time and lasts for like two/three weeks, but melatonin IS on the way so hoping that works.
Anywho just wanted to update you guys!! Hoping to be back in full swing soon, until then I love you guys. 🫶🏼
You drag a small step stool over to the shelves in the library because, once again, the Men of Letters apparently believed anyone under six feet tall should simply accept defeat.
Sam looks up from his laptop. "You know," he says, "you could ask for help."
You glance down at him. "I could. But I've been dealing with this my whole life. I'm used to step stools and tiptoes. I'm not actually used to living with a giant. Besides, I don't want you to have to follow me around all day just to reach stuff."
He smiles to himself and goes back to his research.
Dean looks up from his phone. "He follows you around all day anyway."
Sam ignores it.
"Don't worry Sammy, you make an adorable puppy," you say.
Sam ignores that.
You find the journal you're after, wedge it under your arm, and start looking through the shelf for another one.
A minute later Sam walks up.
"Hey," he says.
"Hey."
He leans in to kiss you.
"Wow, I just realized I always get up on my tiptoes when I kiss you. I guess it's just automatic. I never even thought about it. This height makes it easier to kiss you."
"It's easier for me too. I don't have to bend down so far."
He kisses you again.
And again.
"Wait, this is suspicious," you say.
"What?"
"I think you like me better this height."
"I like you every height."
"Mhm."
"I do… But this height is ..."
"Ergonomic?"
He laughs. "I was going to say nice."
You look at the little stool under your feet. "I could carry one around with me."
Sam's expression immediately says he is taking this possibility far more seriously than it deserves. "You are not carrying a step stool around on hunts."
"A folding one?"
"No."
"A travel stool?"
"No."
"Stilts?"
He laughs. Then he wraps an arm around your waist before you can continue the argument.
"You are not wearing stilts."
"What? You don't think I could walk in them, or fight in them?"
"Not safely, no, but more importantly, Dean would make fun of both of us for the rest of our lives."
You nod.
"I definitely would," Dean says.
Sam kisses you one last time.
"You know," he says, "you could still just ask me to get things off the top shelf."
You smile. "I know."
"But?"
"But now I know there are ergonomic benefits."
Dean doesn't even look up from his phone.
"For the record, that's what happens when you fall for a sasquatch."
👉 Read the Series: Sam x fem!reader insert (no "Y/N") AU fanfic Series Accidentally a Winchester on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/78191396
📃Master List of Fan Fiction: https://www.tumblr.com/iamgwinchester/812636749500137472/master-list
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Rating: 18+, Mature
All fics and sequels masterlist
Tags: Plus-Size reader, Reader is from a different reality, Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Season/Series 08, Trials, Canon Divergence, Blood Magic, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Second person, POV Alternating, No use of y/n
A/N: This is a 53-chapter fic filled with slow burn, smut, angst, and plenty of plot twists.
. . . you seem pretty sad for a girl so in love’s camera roll . . . ft. sam winchester
Hunting for monsters in a museum
Going to a psychic for your birthday to try and get some answers, acting like it’s a joke the whole time and then it’s actually real…
Sam is just so cute when he’s all pouty and tired from hunting
Going back home and looking through your childhood jewelry box one last time.
You always find love in the strangest places.
Morning rides in the impala usually calls for bad coffee, loud rock music, and a gorgeous sunrise.
Halloween! Maybe it’s a little too on the nose for you, but Sam thought you looked cute anyway!
Little ootd while you’re reading with Sam in the library, going over some lore with a coffee, softly chatting whenever you’ve found something interesting… does this sound like a date to anyone else?
Back home with Bobby and the boys, drinking some beer & watching old cartoons with Sam’s head in your lap and deans loud laughs echoing.
Sammy taking pictures of you’re while you’re on Bobby’s porch, you’re playing guitar, everything feels normal for once…
reader is changing in the back of the Impala out of her dirty clothes after hunt, and sam is fighting for his life, trying not to look into the rearview mirror. he does catch a peek so now he's trying to discreetly adjust his problem and relieve some pressure *wink wink*
I’m kinda reluctant to write this because I read a fic like a week ago with this exact prompt, except it was for Dean and I don’t wanna step on anyones toes or anything, if I could find the writer and get the green light then I’m totally down but until then I don’t think I’m gonna write this…
Sorry anon, if you have any different requests I’ll happily take them <33
