Sad Dork

I just need some place to burst out all my unspilled thoughts and feelings.

[thequotespot]

“i think what changed me was realizing how easy it was for people to let me go when i was holding on so tightly.”

[sad-dork]

The Echoes of Us

Every day, when I wake up in the morning, I catch myself looking for you.

For the “good mornings” we used to share, always followed by a kiss. For the warmth of your body every time we held each other close.

Sometimes, when I scroll through my phone, I unconsciously search for your name in my messages, just to send you a funny video I found on Instagram or TikTok. But then I stop myself, remembering there is no longer a “you and me.”

I never forget you. You were part of my everyday life.. from the moment I opened my eyes to the second I fell asleep.

You keep running through my mind, like a rat endlessly spinning on a wheel.

And I ask myself, don’t you ever get tired of running inside this sad mind of mine? Do you ever need to rest? Do you ever need water?

Every day feels so heavy. Every day feels so empty.

Sometimes, I drift into daydreams.

I imagine that we both miss each other, and somehow, we find our way back.

I imagine you hugging me from behind, whispering, “I’m sorry it took so long… but I’m here now.”

It hurts, you know.

It hurts knowing that all of it exists only in my imagination. That I keep creating a version of us where everything turned out okay.

And it hurts even more when I return to reality, and realize that you only loved me inside my head.

[sad-dork]

Days feels like years.. Minutes feels like hours..

It's what I feel now that we don't talk that much these days.. Now that we got separated.. Now that you made a choice to detached yourself from me..

I am stuck with these questions: "Will he come back?" "Do you also miss me?" "Do you still remember our first day?" "Do you still remember me on places we have been?"

But the worst question that got me always crying is: "Do you still love me?"

I miss you so much But I can't tell you that.. It aches my heart knowing that it won't be the same anymore

Worried that you'll instantly forget me.. Forget everything we had.. Forget all the good memories that we shared..

Why am I grieving to a person who is still alive?

Maybe I mourn for us.. For the lovers we once became.. For the best friend I will never have..

I mourn for the years we had knowing it had it's painful end.. To the future we planned that will no longer exist..

I mourn for everything we once had..

I miss you so much.. 😔

[sad-dork]

Letting Go Without Blame

One thing I realized on this journey is that I was never really mad at you.

I wasn’t mad at you as a person..

I was hurting over how everything happened.

I think what I was really angry about was the idea that things can change, no matter how hard you try to hold onto them. That even when you give your best to fix something, it can still fall apart. That everything has an ending, even when you’re not ready to let go. And that the person you once loved so deeply can also be the one who causes you the most pain.

So no, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.

Yet here we are, picking up our broken pieces on our own..

Choosing distance because we thought it was the only way to heal, instead of trying to fix things together.

But it’s okay. I’ll be okay. I always will be.

I’m sorry if my vulnerability overwhelmed you. I was just trying to show my true self, hoping you’d accept me fully, without hesitation.

But I’m even more sorry to myself..

For giving so much to someone who wasn’t fully sure, who couldn’t fully commit. Still, I know it’s not your fault. We were just two broken people trying to survive in a complicated world.

Now, I’m learning to forgive.

I’m forgiving myself for losing who I was in the name of love, just to try to win you back. For the times I forgot to respect myself while trying to save us. And most of all, for allowing myself to be hurt in ways I didn’t deserve.

I’m learning to let things be, so I can finally feel free.

I hope we both heal from the wounds we never really faced, and that we each find what we’re looking for.

And maybe… Just maybe, when we’re both ready, we’ll find our way back to each other.

But for now, I have to let you go.

I have to give you the space to figure things out on your own, if that’s what you need.

I’m not doing this because I’ve given up. I’m doing this because I love you more than my desire to hold onto you, even when it’s no longer fair.

I’m choosing to let you be free, the way you’ve been wanting.

And I’m learning not to force something, no matter how much I want it.

So even if it hurts that we’re no longer together, if being free makes you happier,

then I’ll let you go..

[sad-dork]

Not Now, Not Ever

You will never be a burden to me. Not now, not ever.

I know I cry a lot. And sometimes, I ask questions that might make you wonder if you did something wrong.

But please believe me, you didn’t.

Sometimes I get moody, and my emotions shift quickly. I’m really sorry if I overwhelm you or become too much, especially during the moments you just need peace and quiet.

I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you question your worth. I know some of that might come from me.

But right now, more than anything, I just want you to be okay.

It won’t always be easy, but I’m here, and I’m willing to try.

I always tell you I love you, and I do.

But today, I also want to love the man who’s quietly hurting, the one fighting battles no one sees.

I promise to be patient. I promise to stay, even when things get hard.

I don’t want to be the only one winning my battles. I want us to win ours together.

You matter. Your existence matters. And you matter so much to me.

You will never be a burden.

Not to anyone, and never to me. I love you.

[chibird]

Slow progress can feel non-existent, but it’s there! When you zoom out, you’ve come such a long way! 🐌

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

[deepwithinwords-deactivated2026]

[becherdireinen]

trust that everything will fall into place without you forcing it there.

[wordx]

[sad-dork]

How can I adjust to these changes when all it just gives me too much pain in my chest?

[sad-dork]

I'm getting tired to be the tough one. The one who they can depend on. I want to be vulnerable even just for a little while. It's exhausting. I can 't even take a little time to relax my mind. I wanted to talk to someone. But I don't want to bother them. Everyone is so busy with their life. But lucky for them, they know they have someone to lean on when it's getting heavy for them.

Unlike me, I need to carry it myself. I have a partner, yes. But sometimes, I feel like it's just only me. I can feel that he don't want to be bothered tho. Sometimes, when I seek for his comfort, I just don't feel it. It's like he's forced to do it just to satisfy what I need. I don't feel him anymore. And it always make me sad. I can see him so happy with other people but me.

I need warmth.. I need love.. I need affection..

Sorry if I ask too much.

[sad-dork]

I need comfort sometimes. The one that I can feel the warmth and love. I know they always say that you need to love yourself. I did that, and I still am. But sometimes a little comfort from someone is all it takes to be fully okay. It feels like I'm alone again. I have no one to talk to, actually. sometimes I envy those people who are having a nice time with their friends or with their partners. I hope I can do that. But I can't. Maybe it's the depression. Or maybe it's just me. I feel like I'm unlovable. I feel like they only like the happy and goofy me. They don't want this sad, depressed me. I think I feel like I'm an exhaustion to all of them. I am tiring to deal with. I just need some love and affection that's all. And a little reassurance. Reassurance that everything will be fine. I will be fine, soon.

That's all..

[sad-dork]

I'm feeling a little abandoned again. I feel like a shadow that's lurking around in this room but he doesn't care. Or as if he can't see me. I'm sad. I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. I can see him so happy wit other people but me. Am I the problem? Do I make him unhappy? Why can't he talk to me about things? Why is he so distant around me? I don't know what I did wrong. He always say that he's okay. But I can see that when he's with me, he's distracted with so many thing

[sad-dork]

I want to save all the animals in this cruel world. I feel like I am the only one that cares. I'm grateful that I have the ability to feel sympathy with a lot of things in this world. I'm grateful that I can observe anything/everything. But sometimes I feel like it's a curse that will be forever glued in me. Sometimes it's a curse that I can see all these animals with no home. Helplessly fighting everyday for their lives just to survive. And yet here I am. I can't stand it looking at them because the only help I can do is to give them food just for that day I saw them. But what about the other day? And the next day? What about those days I am not around to feed them? I want to save save all the animals in this cruel world.. But the hardest pill I can't ever take is that I can't save all of them. I hope one day, they'll find the comfort they wanted all their life. I hope someday, life will give them luck. I hope someday, someone will take them and give the life they deserve. And I hope that someone is you. Whoever you are. Please help them. Please..

[sad-dork]

I feel like I'm always an inconvenience to anybody around me..

[sad-dork]

02 | 05 | 2024

Despite of being worried about your future, you still manage to give me someting on our monthsary. I don't require you to buy me something because having you here with me is enough.. But thank you, not just for the gift but for everything you've done for me. For helping me on things I need assistance, For boiling eggs for me every meal, For preparing my vitamins for me so that I won't forget to take it, For reminding to to drink water, For being consistently greeting me good morning with a kiss and hug everytime I wake up. And saying goodnight before you go to bed. For sharing some funny videos on the internet because you know that would make me laugh. And for being my constant reminder that I am not alone anymore. I appreciate you a lot. I love how sweet and thoughtful you are in your own way. you don't talk that much but I know that I am loved. I know you have a lot in your mind, you don't say it tho, but I know. You always hide those things by putting up a brave face but I can see thru those sad eyes. I wish I could do something to cheer you up like what you always do when I'm upset. But I'm not good at comforting people. If it helps, you can hug me anytime you want as long as you'll feel better. You can lay next to me, you can talk about it or not,, your choice As long as it lessens your bad day just lying down doing nothing.

I understand the challenges of feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of life – navigating your future, building a career, and striving for financial independence. But I know you can do it. I know there's a lot waiting for you out there And I know you have a bright future ahead of you.. I can see you trying your best everyday and I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you doing your best and being consistent about your dreams and your goal. And I hope you san see it too. I hope you see the amazing person I see in you. I always believe in you.

You deserve all the good things in the world and I know one day it will find you. I always believe that. You are a wonderful being and I am always proud of you. Don't ever forget that. I love you so much!

Happy Monthsary, bebeeb. Thank you for everything 💖

[sad-dork]

Me to me

I'm trying to love you, but you're making it so hard.