transmasc mess

he/him 🇲🇽 22 🏳️‍🌈 minors dni

[kuroshika]

no, no. these are horrors beyond your comprehension. i understand them, though. i desire them carnally.

[uncrackedeasteregg]

Matpat turning a chikin nugget lore video into a discussion on Tumblr sexymen before suggesting he may do a film theory on dissecting the definition of a Tumblr sexyman is both wildly unexpected and entirely in character of Mat "Game theory" Pat

[coyotebabe-deactivated20230727]

getting ready for my SUPERHELL 100% speedrun

[spaciebabie]

i envy ppl who can provide deep analysis about their favorite media and/or characters b/c whenever i like something a lot it looks like:

[enigma-the-mysterious]

The reason Goncharov (1973) is such a hit is because it allows Tumblr to unironically participate in its national sport:

Lying

[zukothelasthonorbender]

on today’s episode of “Elon vs. the Internet”, Misha Collins enters the chat

[lloyd-the-green-gremlin]

Well MY predictions for the mario movie is that the main goal will be for Mario to learn how to jump properly, and the sideplot will just be Bowser and Louigi going on dates

[mellointheory]

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Who makes the porn bots.

Where do they come from. What do

they hope to achieve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[mellointheory]

and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.

do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?

[the-haiku-bot]

My voice repeats what

you all say: I love you I

love you I love you.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[solkorolevaa]

[yardsards]

there is a horse loose in the (children’s) hospital

[teaboot]

The most difficult part of hiding a sword, I imagine, would not be in the actual hiding, but in squashing down the phenomenal urge to tell absolutely everyone that you *HAVE* a SWORD

[teaboot]

Me as a super cool secret agent: (leaning in to a stranger on the bus) hey I bet you can't guess how many awesome knives I have right now

[teaboot]

(In my head) Don't tell them you're an assassin. Don't them you're an assassin. Killing people is bad. Don't tell anyone you're an assassin

(Out loud) Hey does anybody want to see a dead senator

[990000]

source

[browningtons-deactivated2018041]

[theworsethingsgettheharderifight]

it didn’t look enough like a Real Hospital so I fixed it :)

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I’m at a loss for words

[pukicho]

Lord of the flies would have been much better if the kids simply got along 

[funnytwittertweets]

[feluka]

i need to hire someone who can speak to cats to explain to Shams and Noor that they are supposed to be predators. I'm trying to introduce toys that emulate prey (with sound/smell of course so they can track it) so I can get them to play hunt but they're just like. *pats toy lightly with paws* 'hmmm interesting. i dig. a friend perhaps?' and i'm like nooooooo it's your prey you're supposed to chase it! i try to look it up on youtube but all videos are for if the cats are *disinterested* in play but they're very interested! just in a very polite manner lol like i'm introducing stuffed toys for them to cuddle with

[feluka]

*Oblivion guard voice* Excuse me sir, are you alright? I - by the Divines. This person's dead.

[feluka]

i was kidding at first with the oblivion guard quote but, the fish is battery operated to flop around and when i turned it off to charge the battery they were both IMMEDIATELY concerned that it stopped moving. when i turned it back on they were like, oh thank god. it doesn't even entice them to chase it. it just makes them feel better to know it's alive and kicking apparently??? shjdgsjdhd they care about this fake fish so much what the fuck

[feluka]

me: violence? care for some violence sir?

shams & noor: hmm... what is this

me: a fish! a prey! to bite and kill! to chomp! to-

shams and noor: to... to have and to hold? to love and cherish? a friend in time of need? a cuddle partner to brave the cold nights? a trusted comrade? and someday... if the fates are kind... something more, perhaps?

me: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cnc3-deactivated20211231]

me after watching the latest episode

[junkartie]

Having ur main emotional response be crying is so embarrassing like ill be trying to explain why im mad or ill try having a serious convo abt smthn that upsets me and ill start crying like a baby and i have to like turn around and go “i am not crying 4 pity or to emotionally manipulate u im crying cuz im a little bitch, give me a sec”