@sadcabbagetheyofthelake - Tumblr Blog

This song has single-handedly taken over my life and it’s only been like a week

#music #penguin #axolotl #peak fiction #I am in love I love this

waaaay back when I was a cashier in retail we would talk about dumb shit while unloading the truck, and we got to the "what would you do in a zombie apocalypse" me and another worker were like yeah we would just die. End it all, we can't fight or run or shit. I refuse to put that much effort into survival.

And my manager was like no!!!! If that happened, I would drive to find you guys in my truck and we could eat stuff from my wife's garden and I would make sure everyone I know survived!! I would carry you all on my shoulders away from the zombies!!

Anyway, random shout out to that guy. You were too kind for retail management, Devin.

lesbianshepard

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

superdaisypowerhour

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

robertreich

The Grifter-in-Chief is lining his pockets while millions of Americans suffer.

monstermonger

Now the ash dances with the snow....

Lil winter dragon stickers ♡

🍂Autumn | ❄️Winter | 🌱Spring | 🌻 Summer

nadas-dirthalen

my dream for tumblr is that we all relearn the phrase "it's not for me" and we remember that this is different from "it should not exist."

something something likes charge reblogs cast

alteredpanel

dead wife jokes banned in the house due to current events

alteredpanel

road rage

hubedihubbe

While Bell can't believe she just did that, Leo remembers her wishes of not starting anything.

acerby

Handler and hound dynamic on a budget: Just push your girl around in a shopping cart while she is high.

Maybe give her a paintball gun

moghedien

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

moghedien