☁foggy eyes☁

bang! bang! bang! emma. 8teen. co. they/them. professional dummy ghostlyshape.tumblr.com

[sadhouseghost]

yeah tbh i know i’m probably never going to have a healthy relationship with alcohol, it’s just not how i’m like chemically built. and i know i need to quit. but also i want to be able to be like the people around me. and i want to not feel so anxious around other people. 

[sadhouseghost]

i just feel so sad all the time for no reason .... i d k what 2 do :+/

[sadhouseghost]

i want to feel like i belong somewhere :+/

[sadhouseghost]

i wish i wasn’t so free w my heart everyone makes my heart do flips!!! but also... i’m happy i am so loving and i am not gonna change a gd thing

[sadhouseghost]

i’ve never met this guy n we have been chatting all night n he seems so sweet i have no clue what his name is or what he looks like

[sadhouseghost]

i woke up sad and im hungry and im so so so scarily broke and my mom ignores me when i tell her i desperately need money but then hits me up for help when i get home...

[sadhouseghost]

i can't stop feeling really really bad in like a chemical way like my emotions don't feel right

[sadhouseghost]

idk i haven't been single in so long and now i'm glorifying the same things i used to when i was younger n single (i haven't been single in 2yrs) but like i'm listening to songs like "all i want is this one special person to dance w to this who thinks i'm cute n kisses me on the nose when it's over !!" and dumb sh*t like that but like, when i was in relationships, i always got bored/took the people i was with for granted and just like, used them as a comfort. and like, i forget i have cute friends i can do these things with too and i don't HAVE to get fulfillment from One Person, and i should be completely fulfilled by JUST ME. but like, idk, it's so hard to do this shit right, and by this shit i mean like... life as a whole. Idk. i feel alone and like Chicago was such a relief bc i love ellie sosososo much and we click so well, but also, it's so big and i'm so scared i'm gonna get lost and end up alone. which is ridiculous but there's so much imm afraid i'm gonna drown!!! idk imm literally SO DRAMATIC and anxious and i need 2 SHUT ! the fuck up!!! but like.... how

[tulipnight]

[sadhouseghost]

[sadhouseghost]

i miss sleeping next 2 someone... :+(

[sadhouseghost]

idk i am trying to play it cool but tbh there’s a lot that i miss, like, i miss talking forever w this person n i miss our lil jokes bc we have the exact same sense of humor n its so fun!!!! and i miss watching a movie n not knowing what 2 do, how close 2 be, i miss his nervous fingers on my knee, i miss feeling him looking at me when he wants to kiss me, and i miss feeling super comfy around him + never feeling judged, and i miss the way he smiles when we start kissing, and last time how after we had sex he kissed my forehead n rubbed my back and we talked n joked abt weird movies we’ve had sex to or places we’ve had sex and like.... i miss waking up in his room, i miss having sex where i just feel super respected and cared for, i just really really really want him to want to spend the rest of my time w me, bc i really am not ready for things 2 be over, and i feel dumb, but i like him so much............. im so stupid!!! but i am happy that i know this feeling :+)

[sadhouseghost]

u are so strong + u have so many great things that are coming your way. i promise

ilu thank u so much! today i actually felt really amazing, and the world feels really good again, and im super excited to be alive for the first time in a lil bit. :+)

[sadhouseghost]

hi emma ik things are tough rn and shit has happened and you've been through hell & back but i want you to know you're gonna be alright and that if you ever feel like you're not enough remember there's at least one person out there (me) who cares and hopes you're okay even though i'm too shy to let you know who. -an old friend

aw thank u so much, ive probably never felt so alone in my life but the outpouring of love from so many people has really kept me going and im so lucky to have so many people reach out just to tell me they love me. so, thank u!! bc this stuff is keeping me optimistic :+)

[julia---huete]

[sadhouseghost]

[sadhouseghost]

i wanna.... remember what happiness feels like lol............