sae itoshi x fem! reader, a sae character study that went awry. Sae reflects on both of your lives
Sae looks at your closet door and sighs.
It’s hard not to feel out of place at a given time and place in your life, but he’d never expected said time and place to be as a fully grown and functioning adult, in his own home.
The closet door is filled with photos and random trinkets you’d sticked onto it. When you first moved in, you’d insisted on personalising your side of things, lest you’d wake up thinking you were in a psych ward (your words, not his).
“I don’t want to go looking for things in here and end up making contact with one of your dirty boxers,” you had declared. Sae had grunted that he was hygienic, and that the chance one of his dirty boxers making it back in the closet— yours or his— was close to zero, but you wouldn’t hear it.
“You’re a guy,” you had sniffed, “your hygienic is my unhygienic. Besides, there is no zero risk.”
And with this little nugget of wisdom, you had left the room, leaving Sae to contemplate the newly decorated closet door on his own.
The photos are filled with happy, bright faces, some from your high school graduation, some from your time at college, and others from family. Cuomo, your brown border collie, makes the most frequent appearances, and a few of your college’s flags and banners are fixed on the corners of the door (“Go Bulldogs!”).
When a pro athlete gets scouted at a young age, the sentiment of competition and the constantly tense environment is inevitable. Even when you do try to break the walls down and lend a hand, the lingering hostility is still brimming at the back of your brain. That’s when isolation strikes, like a viper heading for its prey. It slips through the cracks, and before you know it, it's all there is. So you let the sport swallow the rest. Sae’s never sat on his feelings long enough to reflect on them or do something about them. His personality is what his experiences have made it out to be, and the adage “what’s done is done” is his usual way out of this inner conversation. However, there are times where he isn’t able to avoid them so easily. They usually sneak up on him, and before he can shut them down, his mind wanders.
All it takes is one look at his girlfriend’s single closet door to bring them rushing back. Make him realise that one door panel somehow contains more life than he’s ever experienced. He tries not to let the dormant green-eyed monster inside him take over, but there are times where Sae wishes he could trade his life for one more like yours. School, friends, college, family. You’ve done a great job acclimating him to your lifestyle and your people, but there are times, late at night, where he wishes he could’ve been introduced to something like this much earlier. Maybe then things would’ve been different. For him, sure, but for rin, too.
Your spread your palm on the back of his neck from behind, and let your fingers travel all the way to his shoulders. You thumb at the side of his neck juncture.
“Yeah,” he replies after a minute, before slightly turning, placing a kiss on your temple. “All good.”
As long as you’re there, he can have that life. You are that life. His life.
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