Creature of the Night

gawks, admires, perhaps at some point feeds. adores excessive fat. extreme feedism inclusive. aggressively pansexual, sadist, dom. he/him, 26. minors DNI, I don't recommend proceeding.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

I've come to the realisation I might have a specific subset of a degradation kink, or rather perhaps a top dom version of such. A crossover between corruption, sadism, and a degradation kink where I like moral disapproval. I like being told I'm an evil, dangerous person, a terrible influence, a pervert. I even kind of get high off being called a devil worshipper in reaction to my alt presentation or the music I enjoy. Yes, go on, call me evil, fear me.

At the same time, I do believe myself to be a pretty morally adjusted person in real life, outside of libertine activities. I'm very fond of consent and I believe in safety and comfort of others as a priority, in minimising suffering in the world and kindness above all.

Yet, I like being assumed evil, assumed a twisted and sick individual. I'm aware this is most likely a posttraumatic reaction to being scapegoated heavily throughout my life, a way to reclaim control. It's an interesting thing to unpack, but now that I have, I will go back to enjoying my moral decay and hurting people for fun and sexual gratification.

[redvelveteer]

I just spent an hour making flag alts of the fat liberation flag because I adore it so much. I think I MAY have cooked with the progress flag. like. really hard. hard enough that im posting it full send.

tell me this doesn’t fuck and you’d be wrong.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

Non-horny yet still sex-related post.

We really underestimate how much a universalised view on beauty standards affects individuals from the attraction perspective. We talk a lot about them hurting people's self esteem, but I haven't seen that much talk on how we are conditioned to think that there is a specific body type that you should find (sexually) attractive. The "conventional" appearance is treated as the baseline, as something that can be built upon, but if you're not attracted to the hot people, you're a freak.

And so, now. Most of my life I was convinced I was asexual and sex ambivalent. Why? Because I didn't find people around me sexually appealing. Because I never happened to have any closer relationships with people fat enough for my type. I appreciated people aesthetically, I tried dating beautiful people and we were cool with each other emotionally, but the sexual chemistry was dead. Time and time again. I thought "wow, these people are so beautiful and I'm not attracted to them (both masc and fem bodies), that must mean I'm just not attracted to anyone." WRONG. It was enough for me to actually spark up a good conversation with an obese person to realise I am in fact attracted to her sexually. Yes, I'm still demisexual, I do need some emotional action to feel sexual attraction, so I'm still technically on the ace spectrum, but I'm also horny AF and I love sex. This was genuinely just gaslighted out of me through societal standards.

Loud and proud, I'm attracted to very fat people, I don't care for slimthick or skinny, I don't care for toned or muscular, I love fat, I jerk off to fat, I love kissing fat people while groping their belly hang, I love the weight on me, I love it when I hug my lover and they're so big my hands don't meet behind them. I'm never shutting up about this cause I think people deserve to know they love something that isn't widely accepted.

[fattenedforever]

[fatfangs]

its kinda funny how little is needed to turn on a feedist. like yeah sometimes those few lines are enough

[sadtwinkloveslard]

I can't think straight when I see my piggy eating. When she jiggles her belly mid-bite, when she licks her short, plump fingers. And she's a brat, she likes to tease me about how uncontrollable my desire is. Oh, she's right, she's so right. But it's not like she has any control herself. She will continue putting on more lard until she feels trapped under her weight, but she won't be able to stop. And I will continue enabling her cause how could I refuse to bring my love another cake? Another burger? She loves it so much, she can't live without them. And with them, she won't live much longer.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

After all, I might be living in Victorian England cause I'm shrinking like a tuberculose poet. Stress, poor appetite, chronic illness. But at least that aids the contrast between me and my beautiful piggy.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

I have a thing for pathetic obese nerdy boys. He's convinced he's not handsome enough to be wanted for his juicy body, he's shy and inexperienced cause most people are too oblivious to notice his charm, bonus points if he's a virgin. Additional bonus points if his dick is tiny, or even better engulfed by fat. Such a boy makes for a perfect plaything, he will squeal cutely when touched in any way at all cause he's been awfully neglected. He's sensitive, needy, impressionable and easily embarrassed. He thinks you're too hot to possibly want him, after all he's been called a neckbeard before, he'll never be truly desirable, or so he thinks. The best sub, I swear to god. And all that fat on him, delicious.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

My pet pig makes me so horny it's messing with the flow of my work. I struggle to focus, I have to take breaks to stay composed. I go feral. I keep having to remind myself that I need to work to feed my pet, but it has become so difficult. I guess in a way it owns me just as much as I own it.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

I thought I was just gay, but then I discovered girl dick. I guess I'm just dick sexual.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

Turns out I'm a sadist. Turns out I'm really commanding and dominant in bed. Turns out I love exerting control. Turns out I like humiliating my piggy and making them beg. Turns out I enjoy being called a master. Turns out I'm much more of a pervert than previously thought.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

And I wondered, for a while, if I might actually be on the ace spectrum, cause my attraction was kinda patchy and not very strong, because I would struggle to get aroused with partners, because I wouldn't be able to perform to a certain standard in bed. I'm not ace, turns out, I just never had the honour and pleasure of being close with a properly obese person. I'm a filthy fetishist* (/lh) and apparently I can't achieve arousal with a slim-to-average partner. Even small fat doesn't really cut it. I need a proper blimp.

(*disclaimer: I call myself a fetishist, but that is a major simplification and purely based on the fact that I have an exclusive attraction to very specific body types and aesthetics, not addressing my actual treatment of partners. I have a deep emotional appreciation of them, a need for conversation and reciprocated intellectual enrichment, I give my piggy a lot of affection and I believe it feels appreciated in all aspects.)

[sadtwinkloveslard]

Turns out I'm a sadist. Turns out I'm really commanding and dominant in bed. Turns out I love exerting control. Turns out I like humiliating my piggy and making them beg. Turns out I enjoy being called a master. Turns out I'm much more of a pervert than previously thought.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

As a very perverted history nerd, I've somewhat embraced the term libertine. Is it early modern slut shaming? Sure. Is it super fucking hot to be called that disapprovingly?

[funnier-as-a-feedist]

& the original bc antiblackness and fatphobia go hand in hand

[sadtwinkloveslard]

I was out with a friend today (now. He's not that big for our standards, but for "regular people" standards he's properly fat, I'd say maybe 280-300ish at 5'7-8ish) and we talked and joked around a bit. He mentioned his face being very round under the beard and that he didn't like it. I was trying to be gentle and not inappropriate about it, but I let him know, once again, as I have done before, that round is nice and I generally prefer big people. I'm so into him. And I genuinely just can't hit on him. I want my hands all over him and if he so wishes even make him fatter. I cannot let him know, it's torturous. And to be fair, I wouldn't be into him if not for his intellect and interests, it really doesn't stem from the physical. But the fact that he's properly fat makes him entirely irresistible on top of the mental aspects. I'm suffering. And I do know he's into me, he's called me hot to my face unprompted multiple times. I want to make out with this beauty messily. The issue is I'm entering a marriage of convenience soon and I. Just. Can't. I can't be engaging in faggotry. I feel like I'm in Victorian England right now.

He knows about the marriage, he's invited to the wedding. He knows it's lavender. We're just properly doing the classic vintage gay thing, this is ridiculous. Should I elope. Should I risk my livelihood and just flee. {no I shouldn't.}

[sadtwinkloveslard]

Update: I am not, in fact, in Victorian England and I am eloping with my morbidly obese lover.

[sadtwinkloveslard]

Edit: pronoun change cause it bothers me C:

I was out with a friend today (now. She's not that big for our standards, but for "regular people" standards she's properly fat, I'd say maybe 280-300ish at 5'7-8ish) and we talked and joked around a bit. She mentioned her face being very round under the beard [trans. don't be weird about it or I'll piss on your bed] and that she didn't like it. I was trying to be gentle and not inappropriate about it, but I let her know, once again, as I have done before, that round is nice and I generally prefer big people. I'm so into her. And I genuinely just can't hit on her. I want my hands all over her and if she so wishes even make her fatter. I cannot let her know, it's torturous. And to be fair, I wouldn't be into her if not for her intellect and interests, it really doesn't stem from the physical. But the fact that she's properly fat makes her entirely irresistible on top of the mental aspects. I'm suffering. And I do know she's into me, she's called me hot to my face unprompted multiple times. I want to make out with this beauty messily. The issue is I'm entering a marriage of convenience soon and I. Just. Can't. I can't be engaging in faggotry. I feel like I'm in Victorian England right now.

She knows about the marriage, she's invited to the wedding. She knows it's lavender. We're just properly doing the classic vintage gay thing, this is ridiculous. Should I elope. Should I risk my livelihood and just flee. {no I shouldn't.}

[sadtwinkloveslard]

I love when a piggy has a clearly visible ball of visceral fat under their flab. Are your organs encased in all that hard fat? Is your liver working overtime? That's cute. Is your heart slowly approaching failure? High cholesterol, high blood pressure? Maybe you're already insulin resistant and your pancreas is also fucked? Let's see what crashes first before I can get you an extra extra wide coffin custom made.