Poetry Blog

Where you can check into the side of me that likes to write verse, and the like...

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Sister

All my brain receptors scream

Pondering what deception lies beneath

So why do I?

Still want you by my side.

All the forgotten favors

How could I forget?

Blood that floats on a vast ocean

The secrets kept

Not half the sister I thought you’d be

Yet it is my voice reverberating you most fear?

Pouring out my sweet nothings

For all the world to hear

In this shallow penitentiary where you have always lived.

Where you ever really... listening?

A prisoner of their popular opinion.

Why did it take so long to hear the wind screaming...

“SHE IS NOTHING BUT A LIE”

Can you truly reciprocate these feelings of manipulation?

You’re tied into the constructs of a formulated mind.

There’s no change & no indication.

I was the test subject without a goal.

You never listened.

A failed experiment of control.

All I ever wanted was a sister.

The laughter.

The gossip.

The boys & the rumors.

The jeans I never got back....

The love that always lacked.

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Thumbs Out For A New World

Life is fleeting

Like bubbles that pop in your hand.

Friendships leaving

Like a hitchhiker with a plan.

Thumbs out for a new world!

Pick em up & take them there.

Everything slowly comes unfurled;

Caught in this sordid affair.

The honey is sweet,

& then you choke

On the fantasy;

Addicted to black smoke.

I am dystopian,

My heart feels like it will rupture...

Another lost civilization,

Another failing infrastructure.

You forgot the brown sugar.

I have lost a voice to disagree...

With the drugs in the cooker;

Slowly burning.

I’m more than an after thought;

What I would’ve done,

What it might have cost

To be someone you love.

I say you’re my muse,

But it’s just fuel for my words;

Just this pain I abuse,

So make it hurt.

Dancing with the devil

Making friends with demons

& through the veil I bellow

‘When did you stop dreaming?’.

Beat me down,

Sell my soul

Pimp me out

Keep my body whole.

Kill the bees

Poison the air

Cut down the trees

Fill your lives with despair

Internet celebrity....

Everything slowly comes unfurled.

Your life is so enthralling;

Thumbs out for a new world.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

A Crumbling Fortress

Can you picture it?

Deep inside our subconscious;

The grass so evergreen,

& the sun is brightly shining...

On two paths that almost met.

How could I forget?

The slow burning impassion within our touch;

Yet we were polar opposites fated to declutch.

Passing by like two ships in the night;

An endless plight.

The stillness sits between us with

A creeping uncertainty that won’t lift.

There’s a warm glow,

But the breeze is cool as it drifts between our clothes;

As the sun begins to rise the magic fades.

We are once again destined to part ways.

A crashing reality to lift the silence.

How unfortunate is our compliance.

Would the thunder quake inside my soul...

If you tell me not to go?

I think of what we could have been

Had you only stayed then,

Or if I’d had the courage to

Reach out to you....

Two hands collide

As if they had become entangled kites

Blown around with uncertain force;

Destined to make every wrong choice.

What is this power that wills me in his direction?

A shoddy loose connection

whose sparks might ignite a flame;

The intensity of which burns out quickly, hot & untame.

There is a quiet resilience

in this perfect vision;

Where both time & space connect us

with a gallant youthful lust.

How I wonder if you wonder too?

A sky that’s faultlessly blue

as the birds chatter near by us

& the unknown was finally laid to siege; a crumbling fortress.

A world that I have built

To stave away the guilt.

So, here we lay

And I ask myself “Were you the one that got away?”

-BAE 2020

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“Dear me, silence is not a song you should know all the words to.”

—

Shane Koyczan

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Dreaming of You

Here you are inside my dreams

Watching as I drown in misery.

Where nothing has changed at all;

Still feeling weak, & small.

An immense silence that looms above

my rising anxiety, because

Of this distance that echoes in the space between...

Our souls as we start disconnecting.

I’m important in all the wrong ways.

Oh, the pictures your voice portrays.

A classic disaster;

Stealer of laughter.

What an ugly girl inside.

As if your words have read my mind;

Despite how I try to not be

Me.

You’ll never forget...

How bad my depression could get.

A monster inside that creeps up to breathe;

I am everything that your words make others believe.

You don’t want me anymore

Now that I’m barren & broken on the floor.

I reach down deep to find

that all my dreams have died.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Possession

The sweet smell of burning corpses,

A devil that I worship.

Tells me it’s okay;

We’re all dying anyway.

A throne of bones wreaks of death.,

This deep obsession I caress.

How did I get here covered in blood?

In the darkness I feel love.

Possession takes over

& the room is colder

As I caress your bones.

In the morgue I’m never alone.

Father I have learned my lesson;

Another tale of deception.

Still envisioning how it feels to die

As I watch the lights leave their eye.

They’re making a murderer out of me,

But I divulge into these dark fantasies.

When did the bodies pile up so high?

As the stink begins to rise.

The doors slam open

& there I am groping

This fresh skinned corpse

Down in the morgue.

As I sit inside my cell

They call my work the pits of hell.

Still I fondly think of life

That ended by the tip of my knife.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Worse

The headlights go,

And you’re left alone

With all those thoughts of sadness.

Idle hands desperate for distraction.

You wave goodbye,

But it’s not alright.

Dragging your feet,

Because you’re weak.

Why is everything all wrong?

Here you are surrounded by love, & still alone.

Replace all the feelings with

The scars on these wrists.

You don’t want to stay out late;

But there’s excitement in a foreign place.

Cutting you down with all the words

That weren’t meant to hurt.

Personal questions become intrusive

& you smile through pursed lips.

Terrified that someone might discover truth...

Behind the words your mouth lets loose.

Discomfort in this skin before the mirror;

As if your vision is becoming queerer.

Unable to recognize yourself... worth.

All you feel is worse.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Father

Father;

Foreboding as he enters the room.

Making me feel smaller.

Another man who hides the truth.

A voice that echoes with certainty

So no one ever doubts

That he owns me

As he shouts.

Every word is a command

That no one ought to break.

Father take my hand,

& seal my fate.

The leather hits my skin

As his fingers crawl my back.

His body full of sin

That penetrates my crack.

I wonder how love feels,

Or if it’s really wrong?

My therapist says it heals,

But his voice trails along...

Like a little whisper;

That says the pain is never gone.

Oh, how it makes me feel so little

Even now that I’m grown.

I’ve tried every religion to save this soul,

But find no comfort from their verse.

Just another sad attempt to be normal,

Because I have no sense of worth.

Hatred has destroyed my heart,

& this torment fills every corner of comfort I’ve known.

The memories are like vultures plucking me apart...

Imprisoned by a house that was never a home.

The images won’t leave my mind..

Ripping its’ way through my childhood;

As his shadow enters from behind,

“Father...tell me. Was I good?”

As I stare beyond the depths of space;

While the ground beneath me is cold & bitter.

It’s clear that I am out of place...

In a world that makes me feel little.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Mother

She holds her weapon to her heart

So afraid of getting close...

Don’t touch me or we’ll both fall apart.

Take off your clothes.

She hears the noises

Preying on her fear;

There come the voices.

The outside world is getting near.

Laughter, she doesn’t understand.

The city talks around her mind.

How easy that it comes to them;

In her sadness left behind.

Trusting only her life’s traumas unrelenting.

A world to her full of abuse;

So she destroys everything,

Because there’s nothing left to lose.

Ripped away from motherhood

She clung to distant pictures.

Acting as a mother should;

So he hit her.

She pushes away the heart ache;

Now 20 years have passed.

She was too late,

And life was way too fast.

All grown up they call...

She cries for the first time in years.

He’s yelling in the hall.

She wonders if it’s real?

Trying to ask every question

That ate away her soul.

Except her mind must have forgotten

She doesn’t know them anymore.

Clinging to her pillowcase.

As each breast lays out exposed.

He couldn’t wait.

Take off your clothes.

She’s got no reason to be

Yet hoping to be saved.

Still love she keeps rejecting

From the outside world she pushed away.

BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Blossoming Loneliness

You can find this poem shortly in FETErotica magazine available on mag cloud! Dm me for details 💞

There you are inside my solitude.

I cant touch myself the way you do

He’s breathing down my neck.

Envisioning what my pride detests.

How easy to undo vows made with lips,

But my body remembers the trace of his fingertips.

What a weight buried deep inside my chest,

& The way yours heaved against my breasts.

Each drop of sweat testament to love.

The stink of your skin pressing close above...

My chin as it quivers with pleasure again.

These tears are everlasting,

But I could live a thousand lives in paradise unsatisfied.

My reflection stares back so vibrant I may die.

A soul in constant turmoil;

Whose tasted such sweet spoils.

The fruit hangs from the tree,

But you are a ghost to me.

How meaningless it really was

to desperately cling to love.

[sakisinspoetryblog]

Get Me High Tonight

Euphoria rushes over my lips

The taste is like narcotic eroticism

Swaying my hips

Dancing to this rhythm

I’m struggling to stay clean

In between visions of you

I am a fiend...

Getting wrecked off every situation you put me through

How to comprehend?

It must have been for you a bit similar ...

Or am I off the mend?

Could it be that every thing is linear?

It’s clear as the glass I fill with smoke.

What have I done to get another fix?

My skin crawls, and I choke.

Sitting here with this itch.

Unable to refrain,

Like a shot burning strong;

Thoughts swirling like a toxin in my brain...

I want you even if it’s wrong.

The thrill of someone’s touch.

Let his skin be against mine.

Is this lust?

It’s a high I can’t describe.

Attention seeking in vain...

Anything it takes.

The shiver in my spine at the sound of your name;

My body aches.

Sweet silver spoon to make the treachery better.

Or have I developed a tolerance?

Buried emotions feel like a mountain laying on my chest.

My addiction to you is so intense.

Please just kill my pain

I’ve been taking everything.

As my blood boils then it resides

I just want you to keep me high.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

I Regret This

Oh look at you

With eyes so new.

How fantastic are those curves!

I’ve never been with a soul such as yours.

Well, right now I’m seeing someone

But admittedly things aren’t as fun.

Wow, it’s just so refreshing

Having a conversation this engaging!

Sweet sickly perfume...

I’m committed to

This beautiful ideal.

Oh, the way you make me feel!

Minty breath with a crooked smile.

I can stay for just a little while...

No, there’s not place I’ve got to be.

The jokes you tell are really funny!

The way you eat just like a man,

How you walk is so elegant,

We both like to read!

Both our hearts beat.

You sit so close to me;

I can hear you breathe.

How I wish my beloved was as inviting...

Lately we’ve been fighting.

Their hair lacks luster.

It’s like their soul just ran out of color.

All the flaws that come to mind

Make everything you do divine .

I wish that I could start off fresh...

So then we could lie together in regret.

-BAE

[turnaroundandie-deactivated2023]

[nvvjibv]

وقت

My soul is aging, not over time but over what the eyes saw and heart felt

[sakisinspoetryblog]

My New Lover

How it feels with a new lover

doesn’t make my heart stutter.

Oh, to be in your world

& what it must be like being the perfect girl.

Lips touching on two warm bodies

Still nothing

Seducing our skin

Make me feel alive again

He makes his way to the bed.

Tracing my fingers on the arch in his back instead.

Like how it was between us;

Here, we lie together in lust.

It’s all the same...

Waiting for this feeling to fade,

& for that day he’ll be my old lover too.

Except I never stopped loving you.

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

For My Heart

Knowingly I gave my heart

To the man whose fallen apart.

That death would be sweet enough surrender without his love,

But be just as cruel to give each memory up.

I have so many messages still delayed.

Can he hear them like I do in my brain?

At deafening decibels begging to be screamed.

Psychically wishing him into this unpleasant dream.

Nothing changes what the truth becomes when you find out he isn’t in love.

Now even the end is beautiful inside my mind.

He waits for me there with hatred in those eyes.

For him I would gladly die...

-BAE

[sakisinspoetryblog]

The space between us

My hands are cold alone

Forgot that it’s over now; he’s not home I leave a space on the bed,

And a special place in my head.

Pupils filled with sorrow.

A life alone again tomorrow.

Don’t wake me up.

My heart is worthless, not enough.

If only he returned my love.

Remembering what was.

Set me free from reality.

Don’t wake me...

A cliche laying awake at night...

He turns away from the light.

Just another face in the distance

Again, I grant him forgiveness

How could one ever end the

memory?

Don’t wake me.

My niche hanging skinned upon the wall.

A keepsake of this mistake forever in the hall....

An inscription on our hearts;

His soul belongs to the dark.

-BAE