Floating.

[sakurafloats]

Twice.

Waiting this on the bus on the way to campuss back and forth twice a day today for taking care of my sweetest S and A . I was sad they may have a hard time at school. Its their 1st Week at the hoikuen.

And ugh, my body is so tired going through the biting cold and severe wind of Kanazawa and waiting for the bus is too daunting of a task.

I want to read a novel though.

[sakurafloats]

Kanazawa, January 5th

Happy new year! :)

2024 was quite a ride for us:

We moved to Kanazawa!

On September 21, I came here alone.

On November 25, We came together as a family.

Grateful for what Allah had given our family. We are together again in this beautiful city.

On the other hand, it's been challenging for Mas E's health. His condition seems to worsen. Hope we can get proper treatment, aaamin.

Sometimes it's depressing for me.

But I should remember it's more depressing for him.

Don't say harsh things :(

Why I often skip shalat too :(

Alhamdulillah S & A is healthy. Hope they start school soon and adapt well, aaamin.

[sakurafloats]

Junior Researcher

Menarik dan menyenangkan juga yaa hari ini. Ikut Lokakarya Udara Bersih dari Clean Air Asia di JS Luwansa Hotel, Rasuna Said.

Rasanya saya cimit dan junior banget dibandingkan researcher lain yang ada. Bu Puji, Pak Didin, Bu Ndit, Bu Hernani, dan berbagai international agencies kayak dari CAA China, ViriyaENB, DLH, KLHK, Philippines, India dll banyaak bangett.

Tadi sempet ngobrol sm Bu Puji soal disertasi. Dan banyakkk ngobrol sm pak Didin, tentang apa aja wkwk dari gosip sampai riset. Bu Ndit jugaa ngajak ngobrol ttg Dirjen PPKL yg baru ganti. Euforianya berasa banget, kenapa yah aku suka forum besar kayak gini, berasa sih impostor syndromenyaaa awal awal but ive tried my best to present myself well. Ngobrol sana sini. And hopefully jadi tokoh deh someday huhu.

Well done for today, self!

Semangaaaaaat jadi peneliti muslimah terbaik untuk bangsa yg udah mau hancur lebur digerogoti koruptor ini!!

Anak-anak lg apa yaaa?

[mafuyuh]

🌊☀ ghibli + summer 🍦🍉

[sakurafloats]

Niche

There's niche for everything. Try not to fit every time.

[sakurafloats]

Temani Anak

Nggak semudah itu jadi orang tua yang hadir untuk anak-anak. Selalu kagum dengan suami, yang setiap hari komitmen bacakan buku anak-anak, bahkan sampai 1 jam lebih. Dan hebatnya, terlihat enjoy.

Kalau saya kenapa bawaannya ingin main hape sambil rebahan terus? Hehe, sambil merasa bersalah tentunya.

Sebentar lagi akan berangkat ke Kanazawa, alhamdulillah. Insya Allah akhir September. Tapi kebiasaan ini agak susah diubah.

Pernah baca tips, kalau ingin enjoy temani anak, lakukan hal yang kita juga nikmati. Untuk suami, mungkin baca buku itu hal yang dia nikmati secara pribadi juga. Kalau saya, apa ya?

Beberapa hari belakangan coba cerita tentang sains luar angkasa, dan saya lebih semangat ceritanya dibanding mengarang cerita kisah Putri Nirmala dan Abang Husain. Haha, alhasil anak-anak juga cepat terlelap tidur. Mungkin udah ngantuk, disuruh mikir jadi semakin ngantuk hehe.

Mungkin hal seperti ini perlu diperbanyak kedepannya ya Bunda. Apa lagi ya? Jalan-jalan, bikin cemilan, bebikinan, dan sains mungkin. Bismillah.

[myislamicmuseum]

Hope this brings you as much peace as it brings me

[sakurafloats]

Keynote Speaker

If you were to be invited as a keynote speaker by the Ministry of Environment and Forestry, would you say yes?

Yes! It's a dream came true!

Ah, that would be my answer in the past.

Recently I have been invited 2 times to speak at the ministry, not a keynote speaker yet, but definitely a narasumber.

My heart was racing upon receiving the invitation, and given the other speakers' names, they were my supervisors! Prominent names from ITB, and I would be in the same stage as them?

Exciting! But am I allowed to? Am I qualified?

After finally receiving the two invitations, one of them is yesterday, i feel something.

I am not (at least, yet!) an expert, so stop claiming to be one.

Maybe it's because of the lack of preparation I made. I don't have enough time and diligence to study the topic. I tried to, but I felt not enough. Last-minute presentation slides. I was relying too much on my assistants' slides on Tangerang Project, and I felt guilty.

Maybe it's because of the hormones? In several days, I will be in my period.

Maybe the lack of food I ate yesterday? Or maybe too much coffee on my system? Or the long meeting hours till after Magrib?

Maybe it's the eyes of the other expert and government officials and comments? It was hard to be in the same stage as Bu D yesterday, but it was enjoyable with Pak H and Pak D. Bu D and the official, Bu L, the director, didn't seem to fancy me, they talk a lot together and left me out of the conversation. It's understandable though, they are the same age, similar personality, and maybe known each other longer, so I don't know why I was feeling left out and unappreciated. It was an unnecessary feeling! Or was it my heart signaling that I was in trouble. Should I validate my feelings or not?

I thought I said too much. I may deliver my opinion too strongly, even objecting to Bu L and Bu D. Who the hell I think I am. And am I sure my suggestions are correct?

Maybe I was an impostor narasumber yesterday who talks too much, learns too little, and unwise. I feel somehow quite sad and keep regretted my performance yesterday. But writing helps.

Next time, I should negate the feeling that I am the narasumber, and should prepare better, and try to be humbler. Alhamdulillah a la kulli haal for yesterday.

Let's see if there's any invitation from them to me again in the near future.

Note: Bismillah, still waiting for the MEXT Scholarship announcement, which should be coming in in a few days!

[sakurafloats]

For my personal reminder during the upcoming PhD life (Insyaa Allah).

"Go ahead, teh. Insyaa Allah"

[sakurafloats]

PhD Interview Test

Alhamdulillah, just now, 11.20 - 12.00 WIB or 1.20 - 2.00 JST I just completed my interview with Hata-sensei, Oichiro-sensei, and Hara-sensei.

Alhamdulillah it went well. Alhamdulillah ala kuli haal. Allah made me at ease, and made all the technicalities like electricity, internet connection, and voice sounds all clear. I could understand all their questions and can answer it well (according to Sensei's and my personal opinion).

Sensei said a few compliments, alhamdulillah, but only by Allah permission did it happened.

"I should evaluate your english ability, but your english was very good, I think you're better than me."

"I have checked your understandings about particulate matter, and I am ensured that you could do research at Kanazawa University. "

For preparation, I prepared an excel sheet like this. And it helped me, alhamdulillah.

The questions went like this:

H: This is the first time we met online, so tell me about yourself.

H: So, about research, there are 3 stages of research; Undergraduate, Graduate, and your current work. Describe about each research.

H: What is your plan after finishing 3 year PhD Program?

H: I have not yet asked the basic question, Why did you want to continue to PhD Program at Kanazawa U?

H: Why about particulate matter?

H: What is your research plan and timeline; and why?

H: So about particulate matter, do you know how and have experience to do chemical speciation of particulate matter to determine its chemical composition?

O: Have you applied to another PhD Program such as in Canada?

Hara: Did your university allowed you to continue your job as lecturer after you finished PhD Program?

Hara: Your family, your children and husband, will they come to Japan also?

H: I am curious, what is your husband major?

[notopeninsula]

恋路海岸

[sakurafloats]

PhD Application

I am currently applying for PhD in K University, Japan. My professor emailed me today, asking for interview session.

On the other side, I feel like I rely too much on AI to reply their email. I am yet to fully grasp what my research would be like. I feel troubled in saying what my thoughts clearly, and systematically.

Ya Allah, please grant me ease and help for the interview.

Moreover, I haven't yet acquired permission from the "parents".

While in hope of being fully tawakkal for what Allah plans, this is my niat. I want to dedicate my study for Ibadah, no more, no less. Being a lecturer require a PhD degree, and this is the path that I choose, and hopefully it is strategic to my religion. For greater contribution to my religion, to my society, this is what I can do, and I shall do it best.

I hope to be a shalihah lecturer.

And also, of course, good mother, a mother with abundance of sabr and also strength to Saga and Aska. This needs a lot of work too, sadly.

Bismillah!

[sakurafloats]

About

Dear all, this page is dedicated to reflect on my daily journal, as my personal activity log.

A place for reflecting my self, and hopefully, plan to be better.

Currently, my thoughts are scattered. More like microplastics in the ocean than sky full of stars. So random, so messy, so distracted.

I wish for a more happy and mindful year, and ahead!

Bismillah!