Conversations of various Robins and Batman that the JL has overheard.
Batman: "Don't touch that."
Batman (more desperately): "Don't touch that! Robin I'll ground you!"
Robin: *snorts and continues to reach for the very dangerous alien object*
Batman (floundering): "I- Catwoman's out of Arkham! And if you touch that I won't let you see her!"
Robin: *gasps and backs away from it reluctantly* "That's no fair! I wanna see Catwoman and touch the thing!"
Batman, crossing his arms and looking very stern despite the objectively ridiculous situation: "Well, you can only have one of those things."
Robin, starting to tear up and sniffle: "B-but I want to help other kids so t-t-they don't lose their mommy and daddy!"
Batman, deadpan: "That's not working on me, kid."
Robin, tears immediately drying up: "Was the mommy and daddy too much?"
Robin, nodding: "I think I'll keep it to mama and papa - that usually works better."
Batman: "Yes, Robin, your English teacher is an idiot when it comes to Shakespeare but that doesn't mean you can egg her car."
Robin: "What about her house?"
Batman: "That's actually worse than egging her car."
Robin: "Sooo, I should be allowed to egg her car because that's better than egging her house!"
Batman: "Should people be allowed to commit assault because that's better than murder?"
Robin, dead panned: "Isn't that literally what we do every night?"
(This one made Flash laugh so hard he pulled a muscle)
Robin: "B, I just met Toy Man."
Robin: "Is that REALLY one of Superman's enemies or was that a joke? Please tell me it was a joke. He's like a level two Gotham rogue - his shtick is toys, Batman, TOYS. And I thought the Riddler was stupid."
(Superman tried to defend his honor and was ultimately defeated by the meanest thing to exist - a teenager)
Batman: "Robin, explain the voicemail I got from the school."
Robin: "Didn't they already tell you?"
Batman, frowning heavily: "Humor me."
Robin: "My math teacher was being a bitch so I took apart her calculators and hid the pieces around her room and in her stuff."
Batman: "Including her salad."
Robin: "Including her salad AND protein shake."
Batman: "She's could have choked and died!"
Robin: "But she didn't! And anyway in my experience, people are SO much more tolerable when they almost died recently! Take my dad for example-"
Robin, grinning over his laptop: "I'm not doing anything."
Batman, exasperated: "Don't lie to me! That's your hacking face, Robin."
Robin: "It's only glitter!"
Batman: "Three tons of it."
Robin: "... Did i mention that it's biodegradable so it's like totally okay for the environment! See, i DO think ahead sometimes!"
Batman, mumbling: "Maybe I should start putting glitter on your case files so you'll focus..."
Robin: "It's because I'm a girl isn't it?"
Batman: "Me telling you to stop putting sprinkles on your pasta is completely unrelated to your gender."
Robin, taking a bite of her pasta monstrosity and pointing the fork in his direction: "Misogynist!"
Robin: "But i only THREATENED to stab him. I didn’t actually stab him."
Batman: "That's definitely progress but still-"
Robin: *cape starts to make a hissing sound*
Batman: "Robin.... What is in there?"
Robin: ".... Her name is Daffodil."
Batman, growing dread in his voice: "And what exactly is Daffodil?"
Robin, without misisng a beat and completely serious: "A beautiful young lady."
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