Kingsman; Harry/Merlin, ABO AU, family, some OCs, not sexually explicit
Notes: Some background, since I don't go into it in these snippets: Merlin and Harry are in their 30's, I headcanon Merlin's real name as Nathaniel, Merlin has 'accidently on purpose' invited Harry to his family's house for a reunion and this happens to correspond with his heat, everything I know about Scottish accents I learned from Star Trek fanfic
--
Harry had heard about Seamus Hannity of course, Merlin had mentioned him as one of his serious boyfriends through university, before joining the Kingsman, and then in passing as some ideal Alpha Male his mother never failed to bring up in their phone conversations. Harry didn’t know what he had imagined the other man to look like, but was quite sure it wasn’t this tiny lumberjack in front of him.
Seamus Hannity was a pale, skinny man with light brown hair that was slightly graying at the sides and a very wide smile. He was dressed in clothes meant for someone two sizes bigger and only came up to Merlin’s shoulder, but greeted the taller man with a bear hug.
“Nate!” He said loudly, causing Merlin to flinch. “I haven’t seen you in a lifetime!”
“Just two years, Seamus,” Merlin interjected. “This is my friend, Harry Hart. Harry, this is Seamus Hannity.”
“Hello, Harry, good to meet ya.”
“Likewise,” Harry said, shaking the man’s hand and glad that he had escaped a bear hug. Seamus’ grip was strong, but not challenging, and his hand was heavily calloused.
“Your mum cannae wait to see you!”
“Yes, thank you, and Seamus, congratulations on your marriage,” Merlin dutifully, but sincerely, said, “I’m sorry I missed it.”
“Thanks, it had to happen sometime,” Seamus beamed. “It’s alright, Natey, I knew you were busy, though I thought your mum was gonna barge in and object on your behalf! She never quite got over our splittin’ up. She knows it was going on ten years ago, right?”
Merlin sighed, “While I’m glad she held her peace at your wedding, I’m sure I’ll be hearing about it at dinner tonight.”
“She doesn’t let things go, that one. Lovely lady of course, but a bite like a Rottweiler.”
Merlin chucked.
His mother was much worse than a Rottweiler.
--
“Nathaniel! Oh, my precious baby!” Merlin’s mother tottled out of the farm house with her apron on and curlers still in her hair. “I wanted to go out to meet you, but your father, poor thing, twisted his ankle and I couldn’t leave him. I sent Seamus—you remember Seamus, he’s that nice boy you dated in university—instead, and doesn’t he look so strapping, married life definitely suits him and he filled out quite a bit from all that hard labor he does, hm? Didn’t you think? I told you he runs his father’s farm now, yes?”
Merlin ignored most of what his mother was saying, choosing to lean down and plant a kiss on her cheek instead.
“Hello, mum. I’ve missed you.”
She smiled warmly and hugged around Merlin’s neck while he was still bending down, pushing her curlers into his face uncomfortably.
He stood up and motioned behind him, “I hope you don’t mind but I’ve brought—”
She gasped dramatically when she caught sight of Harry and Merlin’s eyes went wide immediately.
“No, mother, he’s not—”
“Hello! Hello, hello, hello!” She grabbed Harry up in a big hug, despite only coming up to his chest. “Oh, I’m so happy to meet you! Everyone is just going to love you, darling, so very handsome and well-dressed and tall. Nathaniel, how could you keep this from me? Oh my god, I’ve got to tell your father!”
Merlin choked out a “No, mother,” but she was already sprinting to the house with her hands flailing in the air.
“Eddie! It’s finally happening! It’s happening!” She shouted once she was inside the doorway.
Harry was chuckling openly while Merlin rubbed his forehead and groaned, “She’s not going to let this go for the entire trip.”
“At least she’s moved on from Seamus.”
“Oh, there will be no moving on from Seamus,” Merlin rolled his eyes, “He will forever be the one who got away.”
--
“Hello, dears,” Merlin’s mother said slyly as they both slinked into the kitchen, “You took such a long time upstairs, I had to start the baking all by myself. No matter, I’m sure you just had a couple things to pound out, hm?”
“Mother,” Merlin said in shock, looking at his mother and the bright red blush on her face that did nothing to excuse herself. “That is hardly appropriate—”
“Appropriate, shmopiate. I’ve had four children, Nathan, I know where they come from and how they get there.” She fixed him with a pointed look that told Merlin in no words exactly how ridiculous she thought he was being. “Besides, it’s your heat—don’t think I didn’t notice—and of course you have needs that have to be taken care of. But you were so quiet doing it, I don’t remember you being that quiet—”
“Mother! At least, not in the kitchen!”
Harry was unfazed, or fazed to the point of no reaction because he simply rolled up his sleeves, washed his hands, and asked where the dough was. Merlin decided he owed Harry one for this.
“Oh, love, you’re such a sweetie. It’s over in the bowl, just roll it out,” Maggie pointed, then continued stirring the frosting with a rubber spatula, “Now, Harry, darling, did you notice Nathan being quieter than usual? You know, during the sex?”
The rolling pin slipped in Harry’s hand, “I…I don’t quite,” The rest of his sentence didn’t matter as Maggie was barreling on as if she hadn’t asked a question to begin with.
“I remember when he brought Seamus home on holiday one year and they both went up to their room to ‘unpack’, he thought they were being so sneaky—”
“Mother—” Merlin tried to interrupt.
“And that night, good lord, I could hear them with a pillow over my head! Didn’t wake your father, of course, that man sleeps through anything—right, Eddie?—but I heard everything. And I mean everything.”
“Mother, mother,” Merlin’s eyes were steadily getting wider and wider before he grit his teeth, “Margaretta—” he started before his mother turned to him, waving the rubber spatula in his face.
“Do not use my full name on me, Nathaniel! I am your mother, and if I want to embarrass you in front of company, then I will. And you will like it!” She turned back to her bowl, stirring more viciously this time so that little droplets of frosting went flying out of the side, “I don’t see what the big deal is anyway, Harry’s going to be your husband soon and he probably already knows these things.”
“He’s going to be what?”
“My grandchildren are going to be so tall!” Maggie said wistfully and willfully ignoring her son.
“I wasn’t aware you had asked me to marry you, Nathaniel, how sudden,” Harry raised an eyebrow with a smirk, but otherwise just kept rolling the dough out on the counter.
“Likewise, Harry,” Merlin bit out.
“And so good looking. Hopefully they’ll inherit Harry’s sense of style, and hairline, but Nathan’s smarts—no offense, Harry, darling, I’m sure you’re sharp as a wit as well, Nathan wouldn’t pick just any dullard out of the pack.”
“Thank you, Maggie, no offense taken, love.”
“Mother,” Merlin said sternly, already tired of saying the word, “Harry and I are not getting married. We are not even together, so please, please stop discussing sex with him.”
Maggie gave Merlin a side-eye and then shrugged airily, “Hm, fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Of course, hand me the cream cheese in the fridge, would you, darling? It’s in the bottom drawer. Or would bending over in front of us be too much of a scandal, you prude?”
Merlin groaned.