Steps: Hand Holding
Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x Fem! Reader
Theme: Fluff, just fluff.
Summary: Peter wants to hold hand with you, but how are you going to do that without exlpoding every single time he touches you?
Note: Okay, I'm back at it again. I think... Tbh this is sort of based on my own what if of myself once I have that special someone. also, I did this all in one go, so no edits whatsoever :D. If there is something triggering in this pls let me know!
Everyone in you circle of friends knew you had the biggest crush on Peter Parker. Obviously they didn’t know why since he was sort of a nerd and a geek at the same time. Well for you, that wasn’t a deal breaker since you liked him because he was just him. Loving, caring, sweet and if you look closely, actually handsome. Nevertheless, your friends were supportive and tried everything to get you two together.
So it came to no surprise for them that you two ended up together. Though, it was really because you discovered his secret identity by accident when you were taking out the trash at the same alley way where Peter would change into his super suit. Plus point for you since you saw his bare torso, which you swore justified your case on how handsome he was.
Still, because of that incident, you two became closer, and bloomed into something more. So now your friends are gushing over the possible things you and Peter would do as a new couple. Eat lunch together, walk to class together, talk about each other to other people, hold hands.
Wait.
Hold hands?
As in you and Peter’s fingers locking together while swinging your arms as you both cross a field of daisies???
Nope. Nope. and NOPE!
If Peter had a big secret to keep from the whole world, you had one too. Well, it’s not as huge as Peter’s but still something that you don’t want other people to know about. Peter’s your first boyfriend, therefore you’ve never really been physical with a guy before. The only people you could tolerate physical touch was the men in your family.
“Oh, don’t forget protection ok?! tell him to wrap his junior before sticking it in”
“Also, consent is important for both you and him okay girl? also…”
While your friends kept giving you tips on how to essentially ‘turn on’ your boyfriend and please him, all you could think in your head was about how you were going to even hold hands with him when he asks. forget sex, you could die just from holding hands!
So far, Peter hasn’t really touched you in anyway whatsoever. Heck, when you both confessed, Peter couldn’t event try and land a kiss on you because suddenly his senses alerted him of a villain so he had to drop you off somewhere safe before going out to battle.
The moment he wrapped his arms around your waist to hoist him up, your stomach was doing flips, face becoming different shades of red, and your brain turned into mush. You had to dunk your head into the bathtub to cool yourself from the heat of your face. You thought something was wrong with you. You thought it was weird for someone to be overstimulated with just a few touches with your partner. The romcoms you watch in your laptop certainly made it seem so. It made it seem like an amazing experience where you and your partner could share sweet moments together and just enjoy each other’s presence and act like it was only you two in the entire world. Well, both your heart and mind could not handle that much intimacy.
Was it because you’ve never date anyone before? or was it because you just have high expectations so your afraid of underperforming. Regardless of the reason, it was better to come clean to Peter rather than just keeping it to yourself.
Just as you made your self-declaration, you felt and hand on your arm, pulling you closer to another person’s body.
“Hey there Y/N!” your body, as if it was on auto-pilot, jumped at his touch and voice and instinctively backed a bit to hard unto your locker. Causing it to temporarily shake both the locker and somewhat your body due to the shock. Peter, being the lovely boyfriend he was, felt bad since he thought it was his fault for startling you and tried to hold you to help soothe the pain. Before he could do that though, you again backed away from him and kept a safe distance from him so he couldn’t touch you so you wouldn’t turn to mush.
“Hey! Hey Peter! umm how’s it going?” the fact that you tried to deescalate the situation to make it seem less awkward, just made the situation more awkward. Peter could only raise a brow at you and replied to your question.
“Everything’s good. yeah. I just wanted to see if you would want to walk to AP calculus together…” He said. The sound of guilt and confusion lingered in his voice as every time he raised his hand even slightly you would sort of jerk away from his touch.
“sure sure. we can do that, I just need to…” you looked around your surroundings to find a place where you could cool down for a bit before getting to class. Luckily, you found a bathroom.
“go to the bathroom real quick that’s all! So wait for me okay?! great!” before he could even reply, you dashed across the hall and into the bathroom to spare you the embarrassment.
One of your friends just patted Peter in the back to help reassure him that that was just who you were. “don’t worry, she LOVES you to death. she’s just shy that’s all.” and with that, your friend group had dispersed, each going to their own classes for today.
While you were in the bathroom checking the mirror to see if your face was still red from being touched by Peter. It wasn’t that Peter was not allowed to touch you. In fact, you really wanted to hold hands with him, but your body just reacts in the weirdest ways and your brain perceives it as you being overstimulated.
Before going out again, you took out a few books from your bag and carried them instead, just so could occupy them and avoid holding hands with Peter.
Peter saw you coming out of the bathroom, and he gave you his honest smile and walked up to you.
“I can carry those books for you if you wa-”
“NO!” ok that response was too fast, let’s try that again.
“I mean, no need. It’s ok! besides, you wouldn’t want people to know about the ‘thing you have right’?” you let out a dry chuckle, knowing that your excuse was the dumbest thing Peter might have heard in his entire life.
The whole walk towards class was weird in general. Peter kept wanting to try and find an opening to at least hold your shoulder or at least offer to carry your stuff so he could hold your hand, but something tells him that you were intentionally avoiding that opportunity for him. In the end, when you both made it to your seats in class, you both just exchanged notes while you tried to send him cute doodles so that he didn’t feel too bummed out about not being able to hold your hand.
You knew he didn’t deserve this treatment. He should be able to hold his girlfriend, kiss her whenever he wanted to. But, you just couldn’t handle the overload of affection from him. He was like the sun, while you were the midnight sky shying away from everything.
You both went on with your days as if you were just friends. Peter still tried to find an opening to at least graze your hand but, nothing. He sensed there must be something wrong with you. Maybe he was imagining things when you actually confessed that you liked him? was he reading the signals wrong? whatever it was, even Peter couldn’t solve this with only his intuition only. It was best that he asked you directly instead.
As soon as you both stepped out of the school, where a good few inches of empty space were between you and Peter, peter turned to you before you had the chance to escape the awkward situation.
“Can we talk?” he said. Your instincts were telling you that he probably wanted to talk about what happened this morning and your over all behavior today. I mean who could blame him, the whole day you’ve been avoiding his touches and advances the best you could so that you wouldn’t explode from an overload.
“y-yeah sure…”
Peter and you agreed it be better to talk about it back at his place since May wouldn’t be around the apartment. Though, it didn’t help you calm your worries since this is more about how are you going to explain it to Peter rather than having to go through May’s constant teasing of the two of you.
And now here you were, in his apartment.
alone.
together.
on the couch.
.
.
.
NOPE NOPE NOPE! even if there was no contact between you two, for some reason this situation alone was enough to make you overload. Even a blind person could tell you were nervous about this whole situation. You were as stiff as a tree, you wouldn’t even let yourself relax into the couch and sat in an upright position with your legs shut close together, while your hands were a=placed on top of them in the form of fist. Where even your knuckles started to turn white. Ok, now is a good as time as any for Peter to bring it up.
Peter sat back down on the couch after he grabbed you both something cool to drink. For some reason, he knew this conversation was going to make you burn up.
“Okay, umm… did I do something wrong?” your head shot up to look at him the instant he said those words.
“WHAT?! NO! I-I mean…. no… well, I mean there is something wrong but it’s not you per say… rather,” and there you go, falling a part as soon as you opened your mouth. God, you wish you could just crawl into a hole and die rather than explain the weirdest thing about you. But as you looked into his eyes. his warm brown eyes, you knew he deserved to know. So, you took a deep breath and tried to carefully construct the next few sentences in your head so that Peter can understand you.
“just so were on the same page, you noticed I’ve been trying to avoid… touching you right?”
All Peter could do was nod at your statement. He decided it was best if he added some words to it as well.
“Yeah, and I mean I get it if you don’t want us to be physical because if that’s your preference then by all means go-” You waved your hands in the air to tell him to shut up for a bit.
“No, no that’s not what I meant…I guess you could say I’m the weird one” Peter was sure he wasn’t following what you were saying just now. How could you be weird?
“Look, I don’t know why I’m like this, but… I’ve never had a boyfriend before and the thought of being in a relationship is new to me. What’s also new to me is the fact that I get to be physical with someone that I have really like and…” you looked back again at his face to see if he was following you along before continuing.
“The thought of even just holding hands with someone, especially you, just overwhelms me. I feel warm and fuzzy of course when I’m with you, like my heart just wants to jump around the room. But at the same time it feels like it might just burst and I feel like a PC that just short-circuits due to the heat. I guess you could say I get overstimulated? I’m not sure what to call it, but that’s just how I am…”
You didn’t realize that you were curling up into a ball on his couch when you finished your explanation. it did make a nice place to burry your head into so that you could calm yourself down for a bit before hearing Peter’s reply to what you just said.
Peter felt, giddy? like as if he saw the most cutest plush bear in the world and wanted to hug it so tight cause it was so cute. That was how he felt after your whole explanation. Your reason was totally valid, but on the other hand it also make Peter want to hold you close and see your face get red in the cutest way possible. Though, that might just make things worse.
You heard rustling from the other side of the couch and watch Peter hold up one of his fingers to you. Your brows furrowed at his sudden act.
“Let’s try something. I hold up one of my finger, and you just touch mine with your. how bout that?”
You swore this whole situation felt like something a pre-school teacher would do to a kid to get to know them.
“come on just humor me. Besides, think of it as a training exercise for yourself” and so you did.
You held out your index finger and connected the two together. You felt like Peter was E.T and you were the young boy in the movie.
“Are we recreating E.T here?!”
“I don’t know, maybe~” you giggled at his response.
“Ok, how bout we try this now,” Peter held out all his other fingers, signaling you to do the same with your hands. You showed signs of hesitance but you wanted to try even for a bit.
You unraveled your hands and brought both of your fingertips together slowly. First the thumbs, then the middle finger, the ring finger and finally your pinky. Your stomach felt like it was fluttering, along with you heartbeat starting to pick up the pace.
Peter could tell you were starting to “short-circuit” as you described. So he let you know it was ok if you didn’t want to continue. “We can stop if you want.”
you shook your head while keeping your hand steady in the air with his. Both of your fingertips were still touching, not once have you flinched away from his.
“I-it’s okay, I really wanna try holding your hand” the last bit of the sentence you dialed it down a bit so that Peter couldn’t hear it. Though, we all know he could hear it.
As if you were an astronaut taking your first step on a planet, you slowly brought you palm closer to Peter’s. Peter has not moved an inch from his position, so all of this was your own doing. Then slowly, but surely, your hands were clasped together. Now you could feel your face starting to burn, and your heart was pumping faster. This was only just hands touching, imagine if you did some of the things your friends kept telling you about.
Peter felt proud of you, even though he could see your face turn into different shades of red, but proud. Now, he felt like doing something bold, maybe you weren’t ready for it, but he wanted to at least try and see your reaction.
“I’m gonna do something so, be prepared ok”
“what?”
“Trust me” trust me. Never would you think those were the words from Peter that would make you turn into mush.
Peter then did the unthinkable, well at least for you. He shifted his hand a bit and slowly intertwined his hands with yours. Now, your fingers were interlaced with each other. You were both now holding hands. Something Peter wanted to do for the whole day. His hold on you was firm, not to the point where it hurts, but firm in a way that says he would never let go of you.
Your eyes widened, your instincts are telling you to pull away and stick your head into the bathtub filled with cold water. are your hands starting to sweat? you think it does. Are you sweating? maybe? God you are! What’s happening? can you still see Peter? Yes, but right now you really don’t want to turn into a tomato in front of him so you look to the side so that your hair is covering your face and avoid looking at him. But despite all that, your hand was still holding his. Never letting go.
Peter thought enough was enough so he tried to pull a way so that you could at least breath. Surprisingly, you were the one that held on.
“I- I don’t want my efforts to go to waste, or yours. So… is it okay if we stay like this for a bit” you were still looking away from Peter, but you lowered your hands so that it was comfortably resting on the couch.
“My heart is like beating a thousand miles per second right now I think, but I-I’m okay…” You finally looked at Peter. Your cheeks were flushed with shades of red, and your eyes seemed more like a doe to Peter now. God, he really wanted to hold you close now.
He shuffled a bit in the couch, trying to close the distance between you little by little.
“Is this okay?” Peter asked. He was still an arms length far from you, but closer nonetheless. You nodded. He then shifted closer, asking the same thing, and you replied the same. After going back and forth a bit, Peter was now only a few inches away from your body. You both still kept some form of distance, but the proximity between you two was closer than you could ever imagine. Peter asked one last time.
“How about this? Is this too close for you?” He said, almost like a whisper. Your heart had reached it’s breaking point, your brain was already in the process of turning into goop, your body was overheating as if gas was leaking out of your skin. Yeah, this was your limit for now Peter thought.
He backed a few inches away from you so you could compose yourself, while his eyes were still watching your every move. You finally let go of his hand and fanned yourself to cool your face.
You gave him a sheepish smile as you’re still embarrassed about the whole thing you just did with him, at the same time you were happy he tried to help you. Though, you don’t know how much your heart can take it if he keeps doing these things.
“How bout we just stick to hand holding for now?” you said.
Peter gave you his signature smile and grabbed your hand to hold it on his own. Though, he wasn’t done teasing you just yet, as once he grabbed your hand, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it as if he was a prince in a fairy tale giving the princess a greeting.
yeah, it was then and there you fainted.