Stay Salty

Biromantic Asexual

[xamii-side]

Fun Idea:

Don’t exclude aromantics/asexuals from the LGBT+ community

[dyke0clock-deactivated20210226]

Gay Aphobe: Headcanoning gay characters as ace is homophobic because it steals representation from the gay community

Me:

[saltyaceplace]

I know that so many ace people feel broken before they discover asexuality, but I never did. Only now, two years after coming out to myself, have I been struggling with feelings of self loathing as a result of my sexual orientation. I did not know it was possible to feel so broken

[sapphic-kitten]

Shout out to all the asexual wlw. I know you’re over sexualized. You’re not broken. You’re valid. Your love is beautiful and amazing without sex. You’re real. We love you. And you’re just as sapphic as the rest of us.

[saltyaceplace]

It's absolutely disgusting that I can't comfortably say I'm queer when just referring to my asexuality because of the discourse. Even as someone who is attracted to people of my same gender, I find that soooo much easier to tell people than I do to tell them I'm ace. I feel so disgusted by the label most of the time and struggle so hard to have pride in it, when I have a certain degree of pride with my bi identity.

[joydivisionunknownpilots]

Imo, the anti-ace side lost almost all credibility the moments they argued that - aroace people are straight - that being romance/sex repulsed is homophobic - that minors shouldn’t ID as ace - that being asexual is a TMI topic

Stuff like aces not being LGBT+, while upsetting, I can maybe kind of see where they’re coming from, but the things above I can just never comprehend at all. Such claims sicken me.

[0krepta-starchild]

Asexuals are not heterosexual.

Aromantics are not heteroromantic.

Asexuality and aromanticism are queer identities!

Asexuals are not heterosexual.

Aromantics are not heteroromantic.

Asexuality and aromanticism are queer identities!

Asexuals are not heterosexual.

Aromantics are not heteroromantic.

Asexuality and aromanticism are queer identities!

Asexuals are not heterosexual. Aromantics are not heteroromantic. Asexuality and aromanticism are queer identities!

[themintycupcake]

I’m really disgusted with posts telling aces/aros/demis that they’re not allowed to participate in National Coming Out Day. It disgusts me in ways that I can’t quite articulate right now.

Basically, I have enough anxiety surrounding coming out as carefully as possible, do you think I have time to worry about aces and aros “appropriating” the day? Fuck no. If anything, the shit I see telling a-specs that they’re bad and terrible for wanting to come out makes me even more anxious.

Aces, aros, and demis are LGBTQIA+. You can come out on the 11th, if you want to.

[herefortheace]

My orientation is my orientation, not a modifier and sure as hell not anything else that I don’t tell you it is

[acerelations]

Asexuality isn’t something that is wrong with me. It is who I am, and I am proud to call myself ace.

[signed-me-again]

Okay, so I’ve been seeing an argument:

“Ace people shouldn’t be in the LGBT+ community. We are demonized for wanting sex, so we need to be able to talk about sex, and we can’t afford to have (sex-repulsed) ace people getting in the way.”

This doesn’t make sense to me for a couple of reasons.

For one: There are children in the community. All children need to be protected from graphic conversations about sex. There are even more teens in the community, and teens also shouldn’t have to hear adults talking about their sex lives, however much those adults may need to talk about their sex lives with other adults. Therefore, we already need spaces for people who don’t want sexual details. Allowing repulsed ace people into those spaces harms no one. Under this argument, there is also no reason not to let non-repulsed aces into sexual spaces if they wish.

And for two: Do you really think the only sex-repulsed people in the LGBT+ community are ace? We transgress on the level of sex (whether sex refers to gendersex or sexuality), and outside society retaliates against us on the level of sex (i.e., rape and other sexual violence). This seems likely to result in a significantly higher level of sex repulsion than among straight people, though I don’t believe any studies have been conducted on the matter.

The crux of the matter is, if we are to respect non-ace LGBT+ repulsed survivors as full members of the community, rejecting repulsed aces (survivors and otherwise) on the basis of their repulsion is inconsistent, petty, and useless.

[discourse-ofcourse]

What the “pro-ace” side of the discourse wants: -a place for young people to understand that they’re not broken for lacking attraction (sexual and/or romantic) -visibility -various things related to prejudice against aces and helping those dealing with the ignorance of family/friends -etc

What the “anti-ace” side wants: -a community focused on combatting homophobia and transphobia -to provide safe spaces free of non-LGBT people in order to keep the members more safe -provide various resources toward LGBT people who are denied these resources elsewhere -etc

The problem: Not only are the goals different, the “pro-ace” side wants a community that would end up including cishet aros/aces and cis aroaces, which many LGBT people are uncomfortable with, feel less safe around, and ARE less safe around, because this would invite oppressors of LGBT people into the community–ruining the purpose of an LGBT safe space. Additionally, the LGBT community as it is provides many LGBT-specific resources that should not be going to cishet aces/aros or cis aroaces (like LGBT-specific homeless shelters, suicide hotlines, scholarships, etc), because cishet aro/aces and cis aroaces can get these resources elsewhere, without fear of being denied them for being LGBT (which is why LGBT people are forced to rely on getting these resources from LGBT-specific organizations/programs)

Solution: Allow the existence of 2 separate communities, where the LGBT aces/aros are still LGBT w/ access to both communities’ resources/spaces, but the cishet aces/aros and cis aroaces are NOT LGBT and do NOT have access to the LGBT-specific resources or spaces. The LGBT people who feel less safe with non-LGBT people within their community and safe spaces remain safe through the exclusion of their oppressors. The cishet aros/aces and cis aroaces will still have access to a-spec spaces, a-spec clubs/organizations that may exist/come into being, and a community wholly focused on providing whatever resources they may need (more information for example, and other tangible resources that may exist/come into being), and the LGBT people who feel unsafe around non-LGBT people will still have access to their safe spaces and resources without their oppressors within those spaces or taking up those resources.

[endtheoppressionolympics]

I’m nonbinary and I wouldn’t be safe in an LGBT “safe” space. My oppressors, cis people are in those “safe” spaces. Shouldn’t we kick out cis LGB people too? They’re my oppressors. I’m not safe around them.

You see the problem here? Both, trans/NB and ace/ aro people have been a part of the community for years. You can’t kick either of them out just because you just decided to change the community’s goal (which was never their to exclusively combat homophobia and transphobia). You can’t form a community where noone is anyone’s oppressor, it’s literally impossible. LGBT+ is a community for people who aren’t perisex, cisgender, heteroromantic and heterosexual. A gay cis male has privilege over a bi trans woman. A heteroromantic asexual cis male has privilege over a gay cis male.

[queerrussetpotato]

this is basically just another iteration of “go make your own community” it just took a lot more words to say it, and was inaccurate in general to boot protip for discoursers: every single anti-ace blog i’ve ever seen try to summarize the Goals of ace/aro people has been wrong, to varying degrees of wrongness, largely because there isn’t a fucking manifesto and we all have different needs and goals that could be served by being in the larger community jfc the over-simplification is starting to get recoculous

[runningfromomelas-deactivated20]

A-spec people need LGBT+ specific resources, too.

We need accepting health care providers. We need mental health services that won’t pathologize our orientations.

Some a-spec people need access to LGBT+ homeless shelters. Or food banks.

A-spec people need much the same resources as other LGBT+ people.

[4785725495068359685546043673475]

You know what, I hope the cishet aces, cishet aros, and cis aroaces get oppressed. I hope they leave you in concentration camps. I hope a disease breaks out and the government let yall die. I hope they experiment on you. I hope they fire you, make laws against your very existence, and yall get tortured.

You want to call yourselves oppressed? Earn it.

[saltyaceplace]

Holy crap, bad post OP

[fuckyeahasexual]

what do you guys think of this sapphicperrie(.)tumblr(.)com/post/149994721149/mashlum-daecay-mashlum-daecay are cis het aces lgbt?

Yep they are. The ace experience is a non-straight experience. To talk about asexuality is to talk about being non-straight. There’s no way around it.

There’s lot of bloated academia floating around that tries to dialogue otherwise, and I just …. if your understanding of social political science manifests in the form of pseudo-intellectual arguments about how every-fucking-thing is a ‘subset’ of (white specific) misogyny and etc, then your understanding of oppression is not as thorough as you think it is.

Aces either benefit from heteronormality or we don’t. And boy howdy.

- Fae

[thepictoblr]

*opens door* asexual and aromantic people are great *steps outside* I am so happy to know that these people exist *breathes* I hope that aromantic and asexual people know that I love them and wish for them to have a good day

[suzuki-left-hand-method-deactiv]

hey there LGBTQ kids who are also Christian/Jewish! If you feel like you’re disobeying God, questioning your faith, or feel wrong and dirty for loving who you love, there’s this fantastic site I found today called hoperemains that accurately and thoroughly combs through scripture and its (many) mistranslations, validates your orientation, and basically let’s you know that you’re not pissing off God. It’s insanely thorough and after reading through every page on the entire site it’s super helpful. Go check it out!

[wearyewe]

No no no! Jewish LGBTQ kinderlach! Go to Keshet! 

hoperemains is completely from a Christian perspective, and not pluralistic or interfaith at all.

[metallikato]

If you reblogged the first post from me please reblog this amendment so the Jewish peeps can access this resource too! 

[peppermintfeminist]

Trans Jewish kids, you can go to TransTorah as well!

[fuckyeahsexpositivity]

Muslim LGBTQ kids, you can go to iamnotharaam! It’s run by a mod squad of different genders and orientations, and they take submissions from everybody!

–BB

[spacevinci-blog]

MAY ANYONE WHO REBLOGS THIS BE ELEVATED TO THE EQUIVALENT OF SAINTHOOD IN THEIR RELIGION BLESS ALL OF YOU OH MY GOD.

[wickedkhaleesi-blog]

REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE IT’S SO FREAKING IMPORTANT TO ME AND ALL MY FOLLOWERS TO READ THAT DEAL WITH GRIEF AND GUILT WHILE BEING LGBTQ AND RELIGIOUS

[nonbinaryconfess]

For any religious followers :) - Mod Jem

[sapphic-problems]

I thought this might be important/helpful for you guys! This is what this blog is for xx I hope this might be helpful!!

[bisexualgambit]

I’ve never seen a post warning sapphic girl about the kind of girls to avoid

Avoid girls who:

-Don’t think bi girls are sapphic or thinks bi girls are inherently cheater/gross.

-Thinks transwomen aren’t women.

-Thinks being in the closet is cowardly.

-Trie to or does out you without your permission.

-Doesn’t tip the waiter/waitress. 

-Says she isn’t “like other girls” 

-Says you aren’t femme/butch enough.

-Cause you “sensitive” or “crazy” when you get upset.

-Forces PDA in situations where you feel uncomfortable/unsafe.

-This is already pretty much stated but, avoid TERFs like the plague.

-Shames femininity (i.e. wearing makeup/dresses, etc.)

-If she’s white and uses racial slurs in any way.

-calls other girls bitches/sluts/whores.

-Who call their ex crazy/bitch/slut/whore.

-Thinks calling them out on this stuff is homophobic.

Feel free to add to the list

[lunarcorvid]

- has a tendency to get physically violent

- verbally abuses those around her

- tried to manipulate you to get what she wants

- never accepts responsibility

- gaslighting

these pretty much apply to anyone but i felt like these should be included