samael

art acc: @cssammyyarts He/Him ; immature ; 18 DONT ASK FOR DONATIONS I DONT HAVE MONEY

[samaelhourz]

ABOUT ME

sammy

random reblogs, posts, and stuff,,,

my art acc is at: @cssammyyarts

[pissvortex]

Imagine how bad that first post-nut clarity hits for a freshly married mormon

[valenalentine]

[perception-filter]

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

[heylolita00]

[benthicbloom]

sun ghoul got stuck in my fence no hope of saving the poor thing had to put it out of its misery with my cursed labrys . udsed its soul in a panini though #notinvain

[benthicbloom]

I will be honest it was not pretty but it's better than the alternative (ten thousand years of torture under the beating and scouring light of the sun god for a dishonorable death)

[skittynation]

you need to dedicate your life to things that are obscure and unimportant. and bad. and wholly uninteresting. and worth nothing of value. so you can drive everyone insane forever. and you can’t kill yourself. i ❤️ abysmal dogshit

[kleinergeist]

Oh, so when YOU grab a Danish for a quick snack, it's a guilt-free, tasty little treat. But when I, Grendel,

[best-of-inspirobot]

[tearlessrain]

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

[tearlessrain]

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

[eggblackoutpoetry]

“Egg [x6]”

[butcherrising]

The boys cast for Deadline

Credits: deadline

Portraits shot by: Anthony Avellano

[fk-sm]

I can’t think about anything except super polar bear right now🤯

drew this after seeing this tweet:

[revuestar]

this is genuinely the worst thing to ever happen to me

[satan-offical]

As soon as I turn 18 I'm gonna submit myself into the Sexy Woman contests and watch as I loose to Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs

[satan-offical]

Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs is not a real thing btw yeah I can see you reaching for the search bar

[idontknowhowtoplayguitar]

She is now

[satan-offical]

You've locked me into a future of failure

[abel-official]

@sexy-people-contests-2026

[archivedangst]

I feel like Hughie could have made Homelander play nice with the power of friendship somewhere around season one or pre season one, and you can’t change my mind. Would not have made him a better person, but I think he would have at least calmed down a little like he did with Madelyn. Hughie just has an irresistible kind of unconditional love that I think would work

[loomiseater]

Okay but can we just talk about how good hughie looked in season 5? He’s always looked good but this season he looks so fine, I think it’s the beard

[revuestar]

this is genuinely the worst thing to ever happen to me

[kakashke-69]