Taylor finally opened up about her struggle with an ED and her intrusive thoughts that come from it. EDs and these thoughts thrive in secrecy. Something that’s already so hard to talk about, and we made it about the way WE interpreted it and how WE found her thoughts (that she knows aren’t helpful or good thoughts) offensive. We made her censor her art- her art about her thoughts, feelings, and life.
Maybe this editing does make half of us feel better.. but what about those of us who felt validated and slightly less vilified with the original version? It’s a very real struggle with our intrusive thoughts. Our ED has its own voice telling us horrible things, which in turn makes us feel like horrible, worthless people. By making Taylor censor something that a lot of us feel, we still feel guilty and gross for having thoughts we already know are incredibly harmful.
The context of the entire video and song is key. She’s saying she has these intrusive thoughts from years of emotional and verbal abuse and neglect from the media, society, and us. She’s not saying “fat” is bad. It’s a commentary on how she obviously lives in a thin, conventionally attractive, socially acceptable, dare I say coveted, body, but still has these ED thoughts that she still doesn’t fit the ideal that the media expects her to have.
And of course Taylor’s body dysmorphia is valid, AND that her depiction of it in the music video was triggering for some can absolutely coexist without one invalidating the other. It’s the demand and hate for her to CENSOR HER ART about her experience that I feel is the main problem. It is the individual’s job to learn and cope through your triggers. We simply can’t walk through life insisting that others always accommodate our triggers for us.
This has proved Taylor’s point, really, of the whole video.
