Hi everyone, Nessa here. These past few months have been very stressful and difficult for me; high school is definitely no joke. I experienced enormous mental exhaustion with my new high school routine, but the friends I made helped me a lot to overcome it all little by little.
Sometimes I stop by to read a thing or two, and whenever you want to chat with me, feel free to call me!!! I love you all!
pairing(s): jacob black x fem!reader, slight mention of bella swan x jacob black
summary: short fic where bella swan realizes jacob isn’t orbiting her anymore and she soon finds out you’re the reason why.
warning(s): reader is a rich girl and a little bit of the spoiled type, bella lwk has bi-panic, obviously not fully canon to the og storyline #thisismyworldnow and unedited work.
a/n: this idea formed while watching new moon, i hope you like it and thank you for your time if you do read <3
bella couldn’t place where exactly things between her and jacob changed. that was the worst part.
there wasn’t one big moment she could point to, no dramatic fight or heartbreaking goodbye. it felt smaller than that. quieter.
like one day jacob was there the way he’d always been, warm and loud and impossibly devoted to her in ways she’d stopped questioning a long time ago and then suddenly… he wasn’t.
he left for the summer almost out of nowhere.
some small town a few hours away that bella barely remembered the name of because at the time she hadn’t really thought it mattered. jacob had always been restless in this boyish sort of way, always talking about wanting to leave forks for a little while, wanting to see something bigger than rainy roads and broken trucks.
so bella hadn’t looked too deeply into it.
she remembered standing outside his house while he threw bags into the backseat of his truck, smiling at her like he always did.
“you’re seriously leaving me here alone with the vampires?” she teased lightly. jacob laughed instantly. “you’ll survive a few months without me, bells.”
and maybe that should’ve felt strange.
the way he said it.
because usually jacob acted like the idea of being away from her for even a few days physically pained him. usually he looked at her like she was the center of every room he walked into.
but bella had been distracted then.
edward had come back.
and whenever edward came back into her life, everything else blurred around the edges.
including jacob.
at first she barely noticed the distance growing between them because it happened in pieces too small to catch immediately.
his texts stopped coming first.
bella would send him something in the afternoon and not hear back until midnight. phone calls became shorter. quieter. sometimes she’d catch background noise she didn’t recognize behind his voice, laughter and music and once what sounded suspiciously like a girl teasing him about something before he abruptly hung up.
she remembered staring at her phone afterward feeling strangely irritated by it.
which was stupid.
jacob was allowed to have a life outside of her. wasn’t he?
except some ugly selfish part of bella had grown used to jacob revolving around her no matter what happened. no matter how many times she ran back toward edward, jacob always stayed. always waited.
until suddenly he didn’t and by the time bella fully realized it, summer was almost over.
their friendship had turned awkward somehow. conversations that once came naturally now had gaps inside them neither of them knew how to fill anymore.
then jacob came home.
except even that felt wrong immediately.
bella remembered pulling into la push after almost three weeks without seeing him, expecting things to settle back into place the second she did.
instead she found him distracted. he felt different yet still the same but there was something calmer about him now, something less desperate. the constant pull he used to have toward her had dimmed into something quieter and bella hated how quickly she noticed it.
he smiled when he saw her but it didn’t light him up anymore and for some reason that bothered her far more than it should’ve.
after that things only got stranger.
jacob started disappearing randomly again. sometimes bella wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time and when she did, he always sounded busy.
happy.
that part unsettled her most.
because jacob used to tell her everything. every stupid thought that crossed his mind, every little thing that happened during his day now it felt like entire pieces of his life were happening somewhere far away from her.
once bella called him late at night out of habit and he answered on the third ring sounding breathless.
“bella?” he said distractedly.
then softer.
muffled away from the phone.
“baby, hold on.”
baby.
bella remembered going completely still at the word.
her stomach twisted so sharply she almost felt embarrassed by it.
“are you with someone?” she asked before she could stop herself.
there had been silence for a second too long before jacob answered carefully.
“i’m on a skype call on my laptop.” he spat out quickly and then said noththing else.
bella told herself she didn’t care. she absolutely cared and after that, curiosity started rotting at her slowly because jacob never brought the girl up directly. not really. if bella asked vague questions, he’d shrug them off or change the subject entirely but somehow that only made her more irritated.
because why was he hiding her?
and worse.
why did it feel like he was protecting whatever this relationship was from bella specifically?
eventually the distance between them became impossible to ignore entirely. bella noticed it most whenever edward wasn’t around because jacob stopped trying to fill the space.
stopped chasing her attention. stopped looking wounded every time she chose someone else over him.
and maybe that should’ve made things easier.
instead it made bella feel strangely… untethered like something she assumed would always exist suddenly didn’t anymore.
so one rainy afternoon she found herself driving toward jacob’s garage without fully planning to.
she told herself she just missed her best friend. he barely looked at her when he saw her “hey, what’s up?” he asked working on the engine to this car, leaned over under the hood. that made her more annoyed, how could he be so nonchalant? did he even miss her. “you tell me” she sounded bitchy.
she knew she did but it didnt stop her from saying it as she dropped her bag onto one of the old chairs near the wall harder than necessary and the sharpness in her voice made jacob glance back up immediately.
confused.
“what?”
for a second bella just stared at him.
he looked the same.
same broad shoulders hunched over the car. same dark hair falling messily into his face. same grease smudged across his cheekbone from working all afternoon.
but somehow he felt different now.
quieter around her like there were pieces of him she no longer had access to and maybe she was reading too much into it but she couldn’t shake that feeling.
“you’ve been weird,” she finally said.
jacob blinked once before letting out a small breath through his nose, almost amused.
“weird?”
“yes, weird.” bella crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “you disappear for months, barely answer your phone anymore and every conversation feels like i’m interrupting something.”
his expression shifted slightly at that. “bella…”
“no, seriously.” she cut him off quickly before she lost momentum. “did i do something or are you just over being my friend now?” that finally made him stop working entirely.
the wrench clinked softly against the counter as jacob straightened up slowly “i’ve been busy.” the statement only makes her more upset, she ran a hand through her hair huffing at him “busy? with what?” he shrugged “life. i don’t know.” his laugh is dry like he wants to avoid this conversation more than anything but bella won’t let him off easy.
“jacob, you used to tell me everything..” she sounds genuinely hurt when she walks closer to him and for a moment jacob feels guilty. guilty for abandoning the girl that needed him but this girl… she wasn’t his and he had been sick of doing the boyfriend job for a girl who chose someone over him every time. “bella.” he didn’t know what to say “come on, aren’t you tired?”
she looks confused “with what?”
“you know..” he doesn’t wanna say it, because saying it makes it real. makes it final. makes it something he can’t take back. this whole thing between them, this cycle, this thing that kept looping back into itself no matter how many times he tried to step out of it.
him.
her.
edward.
a triangle he never agreed to be in but somehow always ended up standing inside of anyway.
the truth was, jacob had fallen in love and it wasn’t with bella. and it wasn’t complicated anymore the way it used to be in his head, it was just simple now, clean in a way that hurt less than staying tangled in something that never really chose him back.
and that clarity made everything else easier to walk away from.
“i’m not doing this anymore,” he says finally. bella’s face tightens immediately “doing what?”
his jaw clenches slightly, like he’s trying not to make it sound harsher than it already is. his hands flex once at his sides, a small restless movement like his body is already stepping out of the conversation before his feet do.
“all of it.”
a pause.
it hangs there between them, thick and unfinished, like he’s refusing to dress it up into something softer just to make it easier to swallow.
“i’m not waiting around for you anymore, bella.”
the words hit bella far too hard than she expects, like they land in her chest before her mind even catches up. she can feel it immediately, that slow, sinking realization that this isn’t him being emotional, this is him being certain.
she hates the way it sounds decided.
her breath catches slightly, and before she can stop herself she steps closer, placing a soft hand on his chest.
not forceful, not angry, just instinctive like she can still anchor him there if she tries hard enough. her palm presses against the warmth of him like that alone could rewind whatever has already started unraveling between them, like skin-to-skin contact is enough to undo distance.
“jacob…” her voice comes out quieter than she means it to, almost careful now, like she’s afraid of pushing him further away just by speaking too loud.
“you’re my best friend.” jacob almost wished the words sounded true from bella’s mouth like if they felt true he’d feel better about himself and this friendship. it wasn’t even about the romantic aspect anymore, jacob had found love but it was just about the fact that bella didn’t treat him much like a friend when edward was around. like their friendship only existed in spaces where she was lonely.
that’s when he steps back away from her hand, he’s quick to create distance between the two of them like she had some disease “you should go, bella.” he wiped his grease stained hands slowly against the rag hanging from his back pocket, avoiding her eyes for a second because looking directly at her right now just made something ugly twist in his chest.
she blinked at him immediately, hurt flashing across her face too fast to hide. “what?” but her being hurt didn’t hit him the same way it used to; he didn’t run to fix it, protect her because she was no longer his priority, his priority was on her way here and a part of him didn’t want bella to meet his new girlfriend.
bella only stared for a moment.
girlfriend. he says it casually but with this unusual about of love, it was only the idea of what bella imagined she sounded like when she talked about edward. she didn’t know why she felt jealous, maybe because she did love jacob and in her heart she knew she also loved edward. she was just confused and before she was to make that decision within herself jacob already subtracted himself from the situation.
“my girlfriend’s a little of the jealous type.” he chuckled to himself softly but bella doesn’t find anything comical. maybe because some ugly part of her assumed jacob would always be there waiting. orbiting around her no matter how many times she pulled away from him. she hated herself for hating the idea of him with someone else.
“since when do you have a girlfriend?” bella asked too quickly, pretending not to already know the details he had been fighting to keep to himself every time she had asked but jacob almost shyly shrugged at her like a boy with a crush as his lips curved into a soft smile. “a while.”
a while. bella could only assume he meant months.. months that they hadn’t talked besides awkward texts and ignored phone calls, months of him slowly disappearing while she’d been too wrapped up in edward and her own confusion to notice it happening in real time. suddenly, she felt left out like she was on the outside of a locked door of a room she was desperately fighting to get into.
“you could’ve told me.” she hates how her voice comes out weakly and for the first time jacob looks at her like actually looks at her and suddenly she can see how different he is. still the same jacob but with a different look in his eyes, that very specific light in his eyes that was once reserved for her had gone out. he just looked almost content.
“yeah, i guess i could’ve.” it didn’t sound like he meant it in a bad way but she felt it that way, her jaw tightening at his words because he seemed to have already made peace with the distance between them months ago while she was only now noticing it existed.
she knew she didn’t have a right to feel wronged but it didn’t stop her from feeling it. uncomfortably she crossed her arms over her chest suddenly the room felt too warm, thick with the smell of motor oil and rain drifting in from outside while jacob leaned back against the workbench watching her carefully and for the first time, bella couldn’t read him.
jacob used to look at her like every emotion sat directly on the surface.
now the space between them was too strong and she knew she was at fault for it but a part of her was to prideful to admit it, admit that she had been too busy chasing after edward to see jacob’s distance. “you didn’t think i deserved to know?” his eyebrows furrowed at “it wasn’t like that.” he sputters back quickly.
“then what was it like?” silence fills the area as he struggles to answer for a moment because the truth sounded bad out loud.
because there was no version of this conversation where bella walked away without realizing she had missed something important while she was busy looking somewhere else.
jacob looked down briefly, outside, tires crackled softly against gravel somewhere down the road and Bella caught the smallest change in him instantly. His attention flickered away from her without thinking, subtle but automatic, like part of him was already waiting for someone else. like he could sense his other half arriving.
her. bella comes to that conclusion very quickly once he stands up fully, his whole emotions changing from this awkwardness to nervousness, his hands wiping at the grease stain on his jeans as if it’d disappear if he rubbed hard enough. he suddenly cared about how he looked.
and that hurt bella in a way she wasn’t prepared for because jacob had never been nervous around her.
not like this.
never quietly anticipating someone’s arrival like his entire body recognized them before they even appeared and for a moment bella just watched him the realization settling ugly in her stomach as he began adjusting his clothes to look perfect in his own way.
“jacob?” bella called quietly when he stopped listening halfway through the conversation entirely.
he blinked once like he’d forgotten she was standing there before clearing his throat quickly. “sorry, i just…”
another crunch of gravel echoed closer this time then came the flash of baby pink through the trees.
bella turned instinctively just as the convertible rolled into the driveway smooth and shiny against the dull reservation roads. it looked expensive. out of place, almost like someone had dropped a barbie dreamhouse accessory into the wooden area by accident.
her eyes dragged to jacob when the car came to a halt just to see the jacob’s entire expression changed instantly.
it was subtle but devastating.
his shoulders loosened first then came this unconscious softness around his mouth, his eyes warming in a way bella hadn’t seen directed at herself in a very long time.
the gravel hadn’t even finished settling when you stepped out of the car. you were beautiful, you looked far too expensive for a town like this. your body looked beautifully drawn from an old greek painting and your clothes looked out of an expensive magazine and your face... god, you were just perfect in a way that almost made bella’s heart race.
your car looked far too out of place for the reservation roads, sat there like it didn’t belong and knew it. like it was already offended by the idea of dirt existing. the door shut behind you with a soft, expensive click that felt louder than it should’ve been.
you paused the moment you settled into the gravel, your shiny expensive heels getting dirty with it. you looked down, particularly slowly.
then up again at the wet grass like it had personally wronged you.
“jacob,” you called, already unimpressed, voice carrying that soft bratty edge like you were trying not to be annoyed but failing anyway. “why is everything always… damp here?”
jacob huffed something under his breath that almost passed for a laugh. “it rained.”
“i can see that,” you said immediately, like he’d insulted your intelligence by stating it. you lifted one foot slightly, staring at your shoe with open betrayal. “this is ridiculous.” this time jacob laughed again openly and bella watched him, watched the way jacob moved toward you without thinking.
no hesitation or awkwardness. he was a complete different person than who he was in this whole conversation.
like a switch had been flipped the second you existed in his space. he grabbed your waist softly when your knees wobbled from almost slipping, bella watched the way your manicured nails held onto his bicep and for a second, she didn’t know who to be jealous of. “i told you,” jacob said softly, now closer to you than he had been to bella all afternoon, “don’t wear those here.”
his chuckles were borderline giggles at this point.
you scoffed, but it didn’t land harsh, it sounded more like affection disguised as annoyance. “you didn’t say it like that,” you corrected him, gripping arm immediately like you had every right. like you’d done it a hundred times. “you said it like you were joking.” he was careful the way he guided you into the garage before settling in with you. hardly acknowledging her presence or perhaps in your love you hardly even registered her being there.
jacob didn’t move away, he didn’t even look like the thought crossed his mind and that was the part that made bella’s stomach tighten. she hated how closely she watched jacob lean down to press his lips against your perfectly glossed ones, she felt like a perv for how closely she watched your lips perfectly mesh together like you were meant to fit together. like you had been jacob’s missing piece.
finally, bella cleared her throat and you had to basically push jacob away from you because he kissed you like he was starving for your lips. you finally looked at bella, your eyes scanning her like you were dissecting every piece of her, jacob was careful wiping the smeared lip gloss off his lips “this is-”
“bella” you finished for him with a soft nod at him, you pulled away from him creating the tiniest bit of distance between you and your lover with a soft kind smile that seemed oddly real but with a hint of something else. bella snorts trying not to seem threatened by you but on the inside she was screaming. you were insanely beautiful. “you know me?” she tries to sound strong but the words die off at the end.
“yeah, he talked about you.” jacob was quick to cut in the second he caught the edge in your tone. “y/n,” he scolded softly, the warning gentle more than anything, but you only shrugged one shoulder like you didn’t really care.
“not in a weird way,” you corrected smoothly, glancing at him with a small roll of your eyes like you already knew exactly what he was trying to prevent. then your attention slid back toward bella again. “just… mentioned.”
bella hated that instantly.
mentioned.
like she was some passing story jacob casually brought up between conversations instead of the person who used to take up entire pieces of him. as if she had been reduced down into a few harmless anecdotes told to a pretty girl between kisses and late night phone calls.
“right,” bella answered quietly before the bitterness slipped out anyway. “i’m sure i come up a lot.” she hated how catty she sounded about it and it didn’t help the way jacob’s expression changed instantly.
his shoulders tensed and bella caught the brief flash of exhaustion across his face because he knew her well enough to recognize exactly what she was doing. poking at something just to see if it still hurt.
but you only looked mildly amused by it. if anything, bella’s reaction seemed to confirm something for you.
slowly, you stepped away from jacob then, heels hitting softly against the floor as you moved closer toward bella. far too confident for bella’s liking. the kind that came naturally to girls who had never needed to question whether they were wanted.
up close somehow you looked even prettier, expensive perfume mixing with the smell of the rain in the air while your glossy lips curved slightly at the corners.
“yeah…” you said softly, eyes dragging over bella slowly enough to make her chest tighten. “i expected you to be a lot prettier.”
silence.
bella physically felt the insult settle into her stomach because your tone wasn’t loud or dramatic. if anything, you sounded almost thoughtful about it.
like you were genuinely underwhelmed.
“y/n.” jacob’s voice came out sharper this time, disbelief flashing across his face as he caught your wrist gently and tugged you back against him before you could say anything else.
the movement was automatic.
practiced.
bella noticed that too.
the way your body folded back into his without hesitation, his hand settling against your waist instinctively while you tilted your head up at him with wide innocent eyes that didn’t match the smug little smile threatening your mouth at all.
“what?” you asked sweetly, like you hadn’t just insulted her to her face. “she started it.” but jacob shook his head at you, the two of you practically having an intense conversation with just your eyes. unspoken yet effective from the way you rolled your eyes again but leaned further into him once more.
and suddenly bella became painfully aware of herself standing there in the middle of it all like an outsider interrupting something intimate. there was history here she couldn’t touch, small habits and looks exchanged without thought, conversations happening silently in glances alone.
she didn’t fit into this space anymore.
maybe she hadn’t for a while.
“i’m gonna go,” bella said suddenly, the words coming out quicker than intended as she reached for her bag before either of them could stop her.
jacob looked up immediately. “bella”
“bye bella!” you shouted over him waving “drive safe!” though from the way bella was out of there jacob wasn’t even sure jf you beard.
then the second her truck disappeared past the trees, jacob slumped slightly beside you like the last ten minutes had physically exhausted him.
you looked up at him immediately, unimpressed.
“no more history, my ass.”
jacob let out a tired groan at that, dragging one large hand down his face before covering his eyes completely. “y/n,” he mumbled through his fingers already sounding defeated.
“mmhmm.” you crossed your arms over your chest, one heel tapping against the concrete floor impatiently. “because that looked super over.”
his hand dropped slowly and immediately found your waist again like it belonged there. “it is over,” he promised quickly, voice softer now. “i swear.”
you stared at him for another second then laughed directly in his face. “oh, baby,” you murmured sweetly, reaching up to smooth your fingers lightly through the ends of his hair where the rain had curled it slightly. “i’m not worried about you.”
jacob’s expression softened instantly at the nickname alone, completely gone for you in a way that almost looked embarrassing.
“then what’s the problem?” he asked quietly. you tilted your head slightly toward the driveway bella had disappeared down moments ago, lips curving with something dangerously amused.
“she seems to think it’s still happening.”
jacob blinked once then sighed hard enough to make you laugh again because the worst part was he knew exactly what you meant.
bella hadn’t looked jealous because of history. she looked jealous because she still thought she had a place here.
and maybe once upon a time she did.
but that space was no longer hers to fill, you were here now and honestly, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
a/n: hi! omg thank you so much for reading if you made it here!! i’m very happy you chose my fic and i really would love if you gave me your thoughts in the comments and hearted if you liked the fic! ❤️
"Tumblr has the best x reader fics!" Of course. If your freaky and only wants to get pounded by the character with some kinky shit. (I also read the freaky ones sometimes dw)
It's low-key hard to find fluff, domestic, angst fics in this app. Therefore I really wouldn't call Tumblr the best place for x reader fics.
"Oh but, Mayo, why do you even want to have domestic fluff situation with your favorite character??" Because I want to experience those domestic kitchen fanart I've seen across Twitter and Pinterest! Now... Leave me alone.
(I've seen a few good domestic fluff gems on ao3.... Heh!)
I think that it was necessary for Bella to be human when her and Edward meet. Not because Edward wouldn’t have loved her just as much if she was a vampire when they met, but because Edward would never be convinced he had a soul unless he saw how much of hers that Bella kept when she was changed. Seeing that vampire Bella was still the same Bella that he loved was what he needed in order to stop thinking he became a monster when he was changed.
I know Billy Burke is hot, but I need y’all to remember that Charlie was not a good dad. He let Bella take over all the chores in the house, including doing his own laundry. He congratulated the guy who sexually assaulted her and asked if he wanted to press charges against Bella because she defended herself. He constantly ignored her in favor of going fishing. And last but definitely not least, he made her make him breakfast on her wedding day! What kind of parent has their kid make them breakfast on the kid’s wedding day?
