Sam

Short glimpses of Sam's life

[sams-words]

A new step

Friday again, Guallazzi kickin’ hard on the hi-fi. “a simple song for the simple minds“ - perfect, exactly what I need. Thinks Sam. A long month, loads of new ideas. Now is the time to lay it all on the table and the where the path is leading us. Puh Hard choices, the confort zone needs to be expanded. So where are the boundaries, what do we want, where do we go from here?

So far wrong turns have been taken, just to lead the the right one. Just a new turn. hope and determination!

[sams-words]

No Title

“Moist. It’s been like this for days. The real question is what you do with it. Sit near the window with a warm tea and look through the window at the rain. You fell safe and warm. Or you can just sit around and think of all the things you could do outside, being depressed about it, slow music and all.

Being alone is about the same, it’s a curse and a blessing depending on where you sit! It takes some time but when you find your balance the weather is sweet, and you feel at home in your head. When this is done the idea is to stay on this path. poooh enough thinking for today, time for cheese toast funny song a cigarettes and a few beers.“ And so Sam gets up and gets shit done, thinking all is not so bad. Pretty good actually.

[sams-words]

Reminders

A cat on his knees, a long week behind him, Sam sits in his favorite place near the window.Tom Waits is singing “ I never saw the sunshine, ‘till you turned down the light, ...never heard a melody ‘till I needed the sound....“ on the station.Sam is there quiet, stroking the cat, a cat with no name......

Outside the rain is pounding on the window. Sam is thinking...... His usual walk in the thoughts, “walking in the moonlight“ like he likes to call it. The train of thoughts brings him to the childhood. He sits there and thinks that we should all remind ourselves what distant events, made you the person you are today. Remind yourself who you are today, by events of the past. Yeah..... easy o say shit happened back then! But still, let events of the past remind you who you are today. Events of the future, on the contrary, are there to draw the way, not to cloud the spirit.

In one movie a weird turtle said:

 “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, That is why it is called the present“

Sam rolls his cigarette and thinks that there’s a lot of truth behind this, don’t forget who you were, don’t fear who you can be, but be who you are.

[sams-words]

Train

Is there something more soothing and relaxing than watching the misty German landscape, right before dawn, float by through the double surfaced glass of a moving train? Probably.

But not right now, not for Sam. Johnny cash Singing about love and rings of fire in his ears. Caffeine doing her work. Keeping overworked people awake . A nice, warm and reassuring bubble shooting at 159 km/h through the weakening and uncaring countryside.

Closing his eyes Sam thinks not about his destination But for him right now the trip is the important thing. The moment.

[sams-words]

A world with no fun

After a long week Sam’s enjoying a few puffs of cigarettes. Sipping here and there a few sips of beer. Billy Joe shaver on the boxes, the first days of springs singing their own songs. Havin’ met his friends earlier, havin’ fun watching old pics of him with long hair and naive ideas about his future, Sam is thinking about what would a would be without fun.

Life without fun is a deep pit of despair where cloudy days try to make you used to them. Where the joy of a simple song seems so far away it’s laughable. Life without fun, without the simple things is just a meaningless continuity of action that leads nowhere. Life becomes just a matter of survival.

A moment of a hearty laughter is better than a thousand hours of numbness. Life without fun is surviving horror movies! Get up! Have fun! get shit done, make friends, talk to people. This is what fun is all about. if you like something, you can’t be the only one!

see you space cowboy ;)

[sams-words]

Fridays

Fridays are like Christmas you wait and wait and wait for it for ages, and when it hits, its a very enjoyable day. The weekend is so close....not close enough. Fridays are the best and the hardest at the same time in some ways. Freedom is palpable.   Except on Fridays Sam comes home and at 5:30 asking himself, “where’s that third beer I just put on the table second ago“. The he put his favorite CCR vinyl on and starts writing. Quietly humming with the blues: “Don't go around tonight Well, it's bound to take your life There's a bad moon on the rise... “ Leaning back after a while, and slowly rolling a cigarette, looking at what he has done. Not much. “What’s the point! It’s Friday!”

“ Down on the corner, out in the street Willy and the Poorboys are playin' Bring a nickel; tap your feet. “

[sams-words]

“How does memory work? do we chose to remember what we think was good ? can we even do that ? do we let photographs remembers us what we were before ? does it distort our memories? why can’t I remember some of those pictures ?” thinks Sam “does it make me a bad person, not remembering ?“ He sits back and listens to the blues grass on the music box playing. “Am I suppose to remember all that?“ “Dayum my brain is full of questions!“

enough for today! “Stay in the moment friend!” The Steeldrivers sing about “the girl they left behind“. Winter is passing. Today was good tomorrow will be better, let’s leave it at that!

[sams-words]

The moon

“There’s a moon over the dim and quiet street I’ll always see my shadow and hear the sound of my feet It was many years ago, when I became who I am Walking in the light of the streets, innocent and young Singing in a different tongue I put up with all of it like in a strange exam But there’s a moon over the quiet and dim street let’s just just focus on the sound of my feet“

[sams-words]

The heart of Friday night

Long Day, long week, finally some peace and quiet. Stan (Getz) plays his greatest hits on the vinyl in the background. By the window Sam is sipping on his beer. Wanting to write but too lazy for at the same time....just thinking about what to do.

How about some Tom Waits? So he gets up, in the dark, knows where every peace of furniture stands, walking slowly to his collection. “Blue Valentine”? nah Let’s go for old ones..... “The heart of Saturday night”? nice!

New beer, new cig’, favorite spot in his chair; looking out the window. Thinking....How can people make their life so complicated, when so much good is on this planet. So many people just don’t see the tiny, nice, and beautiful things/people all around them. Well; Sam does, so why bother with other peoples problems, right?

“Looking for the heart of Saturday night, Trying to wipe out every trace Of all the other days In the week “

To Sam that’s a Friday, peace of mind, music, a nice drink and a fag. “It’s hard to to win when you always loose“ Sings Tom. Sam chuckles and before falling to sleep in his chair thinks “The more I lose, the closer I am to win“.

[sams-words]

A morning in the Sub’

There’s our guy, sitting in those red shiny seats of the subway, polished for years by the asses of the good citizens of this glorious town.

“Why red? Who the fuck chooses those colors? Seriously....”

He closes his eyes and falls into this trance like state of mind, that all the passengers seem to have that early in the morning. Hypnotized by the Humming and the rattling of the wagon. Lulled by their thoughts. Planning the day ahead, or still dealing with troubles of the day before.

“just like sitting on the throne“ Thinks Sam chuckling.

All this quiet smoothing atmosphere could need a bit of music. Nothing annoying, maybe quiet slow classical piano or something. He smiles, maybe he would be ready to stay longer in here if that would be the case. Maybe it would make people happier, or at least a nice a nice start in the day.

All this tranquility gets slightly disturbed by the prerecorded voice of a woman announcing the next stations. Nobody seems to really notice her. She’s part of the scenery. Until she announces your stop. Snapping out of his reverie Sam gets up. Straighten his coat. Time to start the day and getting busy living.

[sams-words]

A rainy night

When you meet someone interesting, it’s hard not to be creepy.... You find a base where you understand each other and slowly grow into deeper thoughts, hoping that one does not go in too deep, so you don’t scare them with your crazy.

Fighting with those thoughts Sam is sitting on his favorite spot, looking at the rain slip on his windows. All those drops. Some faster, some slower. This comfortable zone where the world outside is wet and cold and you’re just inside and dry. Somehow you still feel wet. Not wet with water but thoughts, dripping inside of you. He knows He’s inside and safe but still he does know how it feels outside.

lighting a smoke and dissing all those bad thoughts, he’s remembering warm summer nights.

“The rain is not that bad” he thinks.

Bad things are there to remind one of the good things. Smiling he put that thought into his “thoughts of the day“ box. Turns on Medelaine Peyroux (because,let’s face it this woman is the best) closes the curtains and goes to sleep. The rain doesn’t. it keeps playing her slow pounding wet rhythm. This ever lasting “plic, ploc”. This song that no fish ever has the pleasure to listen to.

[sams-words]

Winter comes

‘Winter comes winter goes.... But Sam sees it differently, winter is sad, (why?) because the earth is far from the sun. Those two most important entities for the Human race are apart... and you’ll have to agree that’s enough to be sad. But winter has a lot of good stuff. Sam when he’s home on dark winter night, he just opens his window slightly. He can smell the wood burning  from the chimneys in the neighborhood, the longing for a warm bed, a  nice fresh cup of coffee, and so on..

That, people, is the smell of Christmas, the smell of joy and family. The feeling of nesting somewhere, where the evil of the world will not be able to reach you. This power is strong if one believes in it.

So there’s Sam a fag between his lips watching people in the street hurrying about, wearing scarves, gloves and other apparel. 

Glad to be in safe place, he closes the curtain, dims the lights and puts on “Take Yo’ Praise“. Leaning back sips his coffee. Glad his life isn’t complicated.

Thinking life is like socks. The first time you put them on, it feels strange, the more you wear them, the better it feels, until they’re worn out and you got to get new ones.....

[sams-words]

The light in the darkness

In a flash of inspiration Sam sat in front of his laptop and wrote:

May the winds of fortune,

Drive you through hard times.

Do not forget the days of old,

But upon those days linger not,

For the path foretold leads to fairer times.

Cherish your loved ones,

For they are the light in the darkness.

then he went to bed

[sams-words]

Being tired but still happy

“”You guys sure know all those times you come home from work fucking drained. Well our boy (nah let’s say man)... so our grown the fuck up man Sam had a butt-load of those draining days. Coming  throwing his shoes in a corner, his coat, his gloves, beanies, scarf....Yeah winter ya know....anyway so undressing turning some music on, “Hold on I’m coming” from Sam and Dave. “How fitting” he thinks “I’m coming home!”. Taking out a cold one from the fridge, throwing himself on the couch letting gravity take the better of him´. He becomes liquid, one with the couch.

That’s the moment when everyone is just there and “Aaaaaaaaah home, what a bloody day” and you start thinking about your day.

Sometimes that’s the moment when you realize that you’ve actually done so well that you’re fucked. That moment when you realize that even though you’re drained, you’re Happy. “Bong” * Achievement Unlocked* - Tired but happy

Kenny Rogers and “Just Dropped in“ is on. A smile on Sam’s face, when he remembers the Big Lebowsky. Time for a Slice of Pizza, cuz Pizza is life. Let’s not be that tired tomorrow but just as successful! What a Bloody Plan thinks He.

[sams-words]

Lose smthg, find smthg

In life you’ll always be loosing things....small things, big things. The idea is just to think hard about what you found while losing those things. New friends, new ideas, maybe a sense of purpose to get those things back. Sam was thinking ‘bout all that. Not in a bad way. just think about it. It’s Friday, no need to get sad. beer is cold, friends are coming by. not staying long enough....like always..... well music is still there....Paul Simon is going to Graceland!

Now it’s movie time! how about a good Jarmush....

Yeah talking about Graceland, how about a good mystery train! a smoke between the lips. a beer in a hand and the internet in the other. Movie time! He found smthg nice in a bad time. Everyone does, they just have to see it.

[sams-words]

Not Stevie Wonder

It's crazy sometimes when you get bored how much some really cool music can suck! Stevie fucking wonder for example, it's cool. But try to work with it in the background for more than 5 min, without dying. If you passed the first 5 min you'll notice that "I just called to say I love you"  is brain melting (and NOT in the good way). So boredom +  cool music = not great. At least that was Sams thinking.... He got up and changed the vinyl, decided that good CCR would help him more. "I see the bad moon arising. I see trouble on the way...." "hhhhh" he sighs, "That's more like it". Maybe he was wrong, and music does help...just not Stevie Wonder.....

[sams-words]

Enough for today

Writing frenetically, the words a flowing, no pausing no distraction, just words dripping on the keyboard like drops of rain on wet leaves seconds after the rains. A sense of accomplishment. A quick pause, thinking of a better word..... "Don't you forget about me" "Don't, Don't you forget,about me" Fuck! lost it. well... maybe that's enough for today. Sam leans back, sips whiskey. lights a smoke. that's enough for today.