That seemed to perk Samuel up. Feeling much encouraged, Benny wrapped an arm around Samuel’s shoulders and gave him a bit of a wiggle from side to side. “That’s the spirit!” he said, joyously, though he did tame his usual enthusiasm. He didn’t want to bowl Sam over, after all.
“Well, I thought we’d go and look at, you know, all the buildings and whatnot. And then we need to have lunch, of course. And I thought perhaps we could take a little trip on the river, if you’re up to it? It’s a nice day, after all.” And, at some point, in all of that, Benny was going to reveal his big news, and hopefully get Samuel reading for the sake of preparation, not distraction from whatever was dogging his mind.
If Benny thought he had managed to stir Samuel from his listlessness with the promise of exhaustion, he was proven wrong by the reaction to his brother’s burgeoning love life. He even engaged in the rough-housing that they often did, with pokes and punches and ruffles of hair (though Samuel was still too soft, too slow, to be considered his usual self).
“Not- no, not really,” Benny denied, with an awkward laugh. “No, it’s not- Oh!” he suddenly realised what he may have implied. “Oh, no, she’s not been keeping me up, not like that. Gosh, no, no. We just- No!” By this point, Benny had turned as red as a boiled lobster. “No, no, no,” he repeated, his eyes also upon Samuel’s fascinating rock. “I just- meeting her got me thinking, is all, about how much of the world there is ahead of me. Of you. Of everyone. And- and what to make of the future.” Which was true, but Miss Elsie was hardly the most important figure in Benny’s life when it came to the future. No, the man to whom he had entrusted that (and a bloody sizable payment!), was-
“Mister Roger Smith, he’s also been a reason for bad sleep. But in the best way.” The way which fed into Oxford. The way which led to this very day, to taking Samuel to Oxford. The way which had Benny awake not purely out of anxiety, but out of excitement, also. “Not that way, either, mind. I-” They were still a five minute’s walk away from the centre of Oxford, the place Benny so wished them to be when he revealed the truth to Sam, but Benny had never been good at waiting. Never. He stilled, one hand catching Samuel by the elbow.
“Sam,” Benny said, his tone excited but serious. “I’ve decided. I’m not going to Oxford.”
“That sounds lovely, Benny” He replied, honestly and with a small giggle still on his lips from the shaking. He knew what Benny was doing, after all, he did the same thing mere months ago, but now he knew how Benny felt. Powerless and tired. He looked at Benny, and smiled softly at him, despite being aware of how exhausted he must look “Sounds really lovely”.
A bright chuckle finally left his lips at his brother mishap. Benny’s stumbling was nothing new, but it always managed to amuse him, especially when it was accompanied by how red his brother was turning. “Of course not” he teased with a wink.
The prospect of the future though, made him somber. Of course he was happy that his brother finally found a source of joy and optimism, especially after everything that happened, but he couldn’t help but think that his own future currently was lying with a secret, and nothing more.
An amused huff left him, until Benny clarified his meaning, and he nodded as he trotted along him until he suddenly halted, and caught him. He tilted his head in confusion, until Benny finally spoke. I’m not going to Oxford. “Benny, when- how- what?” as confused as he was, he couldn’t help but hear his brother’s enthusiasm, and he said that with a grin, practically shouting by the end of his unfinished questions.
