James dodges the first toss even though it doesn’t seem directed, more frustrated, as he turns back to her, surprised as he listens, just confused and shocked and–
“Quinn, that’s not true, okay?” Screw ignoring his morals. “Hey, c’mon, I know you’re not okay and I know why but I think there’s something of you in there that’ll still hear this and I need you to listen, okay?”
He walks over, fuck it if she knocks him out, he has to take that chance… because she is someone he’d consider a friend if he’d spent more time with her. Setting his hands on her shoulders, he continues, “Quinn, you are such an amazing person, and a good friend to the people you spend that time with. You care so much and it’s amazing, it always has been amazing to see how much you clearly care about others and their health, and you worry about your dad’s stress and I think it’s so genuine and so wonderful that you do. You are doing your best, your absolute best, and that is more than enough, okay?”
There are tears in his eyes. “I tried. I gave everything here my all, I was even working on getting a handle on my sleep schedule, but… I’m just this big screwup, Quinn, I always have been. I can’t get things right, and I hurt everyone I have ever cared about. And then they leave. They always leave, because I’m not enough, I’m never enough help for them. So I’m flipping that narrative. I have one last stupid thing to do here, and then… I’m gone. So I can stop wrecking things, and stop failing the people I care about… stop letting them down when they need me to be there and I’m not because I don’t realize they need me. You’re an amazing person, amazing friend, amazing daughter… I’m the screwup, I have never in my life been the good person, friend, or son. I have to do this, so that I stop weighing down the people I do still care about.”
James looks her in the eyes, holding back his tears as best as he can.
Quinn stood there as she took in his words, trying her hardest not to cry. “No one. . . really has been my friend. No one wants to be friends with the girl obsessed with sleep. I’m not even a guardian. I’m just a girl who’s going to die doing absolutely nothing with her dad still being the guardian of dreams.”
As tears started to prick her eyes, she tried to hold on to the anger that she felt, to keep on moving onward with her mission. . . but she couldn’t. “At least you’re making a difference right now, right. . ?” She said softly, her voice trembling. The fight in her was gone. “I’m sorry James.”