i was gonna finish this but honestly i don’t think i will

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@sandwichesclown
i was gonna finish this but honestly i don’t think i will
I don't care who God sends, I'm not eating my vegetables
* (Obama descends from the heavens.)
* (It seems like he's disappointed by your refusal to eat your healthy and invigorating veggies.)
* ...
* (Skipping your veggies may lead to complications later on.)
* (...Though it seems like you've already accepted the consequences.)
* ...
* Then Perish.
I DON'T CARE WHO MY GUARDIAN ANGEL SENDS, I'M NOT EATING MY VEGETABLES
sexyback is a good song but the idea of justin timberlake being sexual disgusts me I don't even register him as a human being let alone a person or a man he's more akin to an old blind dog who pisses everywhere
christmas smells more like chocolate than it does anything anyone else tries to say it snells like. maybe a little piny but it’s definitely more chocolaty than minty. and it isn’t good chocolate either it’s like that low quality milk chocolate with the rice in it
i want to put komaeda in a hot air balloon and cut the sandbags so he flies away
komaeda did all that bc he was going thru hajime pit withdrawals
if I was in danganronpa I would walk up to Hajime and threaten to kill myself unless he lets me lick his armpits
I have every word ever blocked. I could be mutuals with axe murderers and I wouldn't know because I have "#axe murdering" in my blocked tags. it's so peaceful here (hears a noise behind me) (doesn't turn around)
Snuffling hajimes armpit like a truffle pig
so real anon... you get it...
if I was in danganronpa I would threaten to murder someone unless Hajime let me see his armpit s .
thinking so much about junko and mikan today
ok so this would be my vision for the cigarette cake x
I made this, and it's cooling right now. Just realized I accidentally ONLY did oreo bits instead of "cut with caramel".
(I'm super proud that I made this, please reblog <3)
I made another; Dad wanted it for his birthday.
Sure, here's my disorganized recipe from hell, cobbled together from various websites and experiments. I just realized that I pasted the caramel and pastry cream in the wrong order... It's easier if you make the pastry cream first and clean that pot for the caramel. I'm on mobile. Will fix.
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1 box white cake mix, using egg whites. Bake. Flip onto a wire rack.
2/3 box spice cake mix (save the rest to turn into batter later, or portion the batter and bake it on the side.) I add extra allspice. Bake in previous pan.
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Caramel Ganache (kinda):
1 cup granulated sugar
⅓ cup butter, salted or unsalted
White chocolate and hot milk ganache (pre-prepare or don't; pour hot milk over the chocolate and stir until thick but fluid consistency. Use the same method over dark chocolate to make a separate, thicker ganache for later).
Heat until fully melted and amber, without burning. People say don't stir the sugar; I don't think it matters much for a cake like this and I stir it to help it melt faster after it has started.
Add the butter pieces and stir until smooth. It's gonna look scary. Just keep going.
Add the white chocolate ganache until reaching desired consistency. This is done now. Transfer to a holding container and immediately wash your pot. Filling the pot with water and letting the leftover scuz simmer on low helps.
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Pastry Cream (it's just custard with butter, apparently) (ALSO NOTE: I never have a ton unless I make a thin tall cake, but this amount offers an appropriate texture. Maybe double this exclusively if you can make it look pretty. IMO, I'd turn this into a mousse to stabilize it, but I haven't. Spicetrekkers Walnut Espresso Blondie has a good custard->mousse setup.)
▢ 2 cups whole milk
▢ ¼ cup granulated sugar
▢ 1 large egg
▢ 2 large egg yolks
▢ ¼ cup cornstarch
▢ ⅓ cup granulated sugar
▢ 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
▢ 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or vanilla bean, split open, to add to the milk during heating)
In a medium saucepan, combine milk and granulated sugar. Gentle simmer/steam. Do not boil.
Whisk together 1 large egg, 2 large egg yolks, ¼ cup cornstarch, and ⅓ cup granulated sugar in a mixing bowl until smooth and pale.
Slowly pour about half of the hot milk into the egg mixture in a steady stream, whisking constantly to temper the eggs and prevent curdling.
Immediately pour the tempered egg mixture back into the saucepan. Return to medium heat and whisk constantly until the mixture thickens and begins to bubble, about 2 to 3 minutes.
Remove from heat. Stir in 2 tablespoons unsalted butter and 1 teaspoon vanilla extract until fully melted and incorporated.
Transfer the pastry cream to a clean bowl. Press plastic wrap directly onto the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until completely chilled (can use freezer initially, if you want).
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Layer as per image. Layer as follows:
Spice cake → Caramel ganache → White cake → Plain pastry cream → Pastry cream with add-ins → Dark chocolate ganache with oreos if you want it that way → Crushed biscoff cookies
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It is very reminiscent of a typical Southern dump-cake, but if you organized it. It's fun. With work, it could be kind of classy?
If I had enough free-time, I'd change a lot about the layering. The caramel and spicecake is fantastic, but the pastry cream doesn't layer perfectly with the white cake. If it was up to future-me, I'd make round cakes, and stack the white in 2-3 layers with the caramelly cookie cream, and coat the entire thing in chocolate ganache (with a little espresso powder). This would do great with coconut and/or almond in a form of preference, too.
gir.l from the taco bell next door came to my job and she is so nice im scared and hiding
a “coworker” is a type of disgusting animal bred for the sole purpose of mama mama sandwich mad as fuck all the time