[sandy163732]

very clever. enjoy

[sandy163732]

weird about voicemails

[sandy163732]

if i spend forever limping like a wounded animal i'll never run again

[sandy163732]

Precipices, and I love you I love you I love you

can't help but ponder just how close I am to You, other You, first You, I hope not last. Can't help but feel the draw. Saccharine smell of toner on my kiss. On you, how exciting

was it always electric? I hope it's still. Didn't wash out the ink, lovingly in your sink, I was far too careful then. It's the thought that counts. I face onslaught, not your doing. I've made it so hard to reach me

but I've left my hood down. If I see you now over and over, always the same, always I couldn't know, always go easy on me, always don't make it obvious. Let me down easy. Let me make-believe. It's been so long that maybe you were right.

Maybe it's the ghost that makes me sweat.

[sandy163732]

kept kept and unkempt

[sandy163732]

i don't deserve it. i'm scared i don't want it. sometimes i want it a lot. love me love me love me maybe i still won't feel it

[sandy163732]

baby baby baby baby oh baby!

[sandy163732]

being sick

being dull

being deeply in love with your ex boyfriend

being aimless

being helpless

not being at all

[sandy163732]

i bought new shoes

[sandy163732]

i can feel my body giving way. i can't expect anything from it, i haven't cared until it began to leave me. i stand now as a neglectful mother facing a long since separated, resentful daughter, hoping that some archaic sense of duty keeps her close to me. i haven't deserved her in a while

[sandy163732]

i'll never be content, i can only hope to be driven mad again

[sandy163732]

going to parties where i know only one or two people, one of which has better things to worry about and the other only wanting only to sleep with me. my name misremembered, and it sticking, and introducing myself as this careless pseudonym, and being a brief glimpse of something novel and probably tragic, and being very very close to him when i tell him i'm not going to sleep with him, tonight, or in the near future, or at any time when i have any say in the matter

[sandy163732]

i need to check if i still feel it

[sandy163732]

they take so much of my blood these days

[sandy163732]

underserving, and with lamprey-teeth suckered into the one thing once deserved. as yet un-untouched

[sandy163732]

my professors simply don't understand the importance of spending my time making and developing my hypersigils

[sandy163732]

god i love you. today is mostly entirely unbearable, hurting at the seams. containing this thing not too big for its cage but unwilling to keep still, afraid of the space between, if only it fit, were cramped, were hugged on all sides, not slamming itself against the bars, against my ribcage. god i love you. god i love you. today is mostly entirely comprised of meteors, bright too far, strained to view, then all too close. today is loved and lovely. today hurts too much to hope to sustain.