S.G.

Thinking about you more than I should

[sandydgonzalez]

It’s NYE and I can’t help but feel empty and sad, certainly 2025 was a year full of loss, grief and losing people I love.

I can only hope for the better this new year, lots of projects, full of people I love, and I hope to love more, to give more, to live more.

[sandydgonzalez]

I miss those who died and those who just ledt.

I mourn the people I’ve lost.

Both of them hurt the same, the difference is I know one of those is out there and maybe I have a chance of reaching back, trying to mend my errors, hear their voice one more time, see their eyes and feel their hug once again, with the others I don’t, even if I scream, cry, beg or pray they are not coming back.

And I am hurting, I feel empty, I feel desperate for both.

[sandydgonzalez]

Maybe in another universe we met at the right time, I told you everything I feel for you and we get together.

In this one I yearn for you, for your touch and your presence, I crave your laughter and your sweet contagious smile directed at me, I miss seeing you drive and dance along the music we have on, in this one I hear how you don’t want to be in a relationship anytime soon.

I miss you so fucking much that you cross my mind all day, when I see your initials in a random place, when I hear a song that I know you would love, when I remember something you once told me, it is almost as if you were next to me, but you aren’t, and I wonder if we will ever be as close as we were a couple months ago, before my birthday party, before you ere on that trip and I made the mistake of telling you I missed you, before you drifted away in those adventures by yourself, I wonder if you’ve met someone.

[sandydgonzalez]

Update: he did met someone, he told me a couole weeks ago, I was certainly shocked bu the mews, shattered, bawling like a baby, I told you I liked you and I mentioned that it was impossible for me to her about your new lobve, I am happy for you but I am very sad for me.

You told me you wished I had told you sooner, once again I was not on time to tell you how I feel for you.

[sandydgonzalez]

Maybe in another universe we met at the right time, I told you everything I feel for you and we get together.

In this one I yearn for you, for your touch and your presence, I crave your laughter and your sweet contagious smile directed at me, I miss seeing you drive and dance along the music we have on, in this one I hear how you don’t want to be in a relationship anytime soon.

I miss you so fucking much that you cross my mind all day, when I see your initials in a random place, when I hear a song that I know you would love, when I remember something you once told me, it is almost as if you were next to me, but you aren’t, and I wonder if we will ever be as close as we were a couple months ago, before my birthday party, before you ere on that trip and I made the mistake of telling you I missed you, before you drifted away in those adventures by yourself, I wonder if you’ve met someone.

[sandydgonzalez]

You were asked if you liked me, if you found me beautiful and if you wanted to flirt with me, your response was a face of disgust and a loud ‘no, of course not’, I don’t even like you, but the way you said that hurt me.

Because that is the way I think people who I am attracted to would ever react if I asked them or if they were asked the same exact questions.

Utter disgust, pure repulsion, a negative so loud everybody would hear, I feel like if they even think about it they’ll go nauseous.

Am I that disgusting? That horrible that you cannot bear the thought of you liking me?

I feel like I should not take it personally but like hell your response confirmed all my suspicions, I am not that pretty -either on the outside or the inside- maybe I am in fact hard to like, hard to love, my qualities do not redeem my flaws, there is no way that you would look at me in a room full of beautiful, talented, intelligent and amazing women I surround myself with, I am the last one you look at, the last one you would think of taking on a date and certainly the last one you would choose to love.

[thepersonalquotes]

“just checking up on you” means a lot

[sandydgonzalez]

I feel so close to you, yet so distant.

I think constantly about you and the idea of us, about how would it feel like if your lips were pressed against mine, your hands clasped in my hair, your arms surrounding my body.

How would it feel if you told me you love me, what do you like about me the most and how you miss me when we are apart.

It messes with my head so much, because I know the chances of it not happening are bigger than anything.

I dream of you constantly, almost everything and in those dreams all my wishes and expectations and yearning become a reality, but then the alarm goes off, I wake up just to realize it is all in my head, that in reality you must be kissing someone else, holding another body and keeping their bed warm.

And I hate myself for it, because we are friends, because every time we see each other you make me feel so special, so loved and so fucking seen that I cannot let go of you, I feel guilt for expecting something you never offered, I feel stupid for thinking about you like that.

[thepersonalquotes]

it's attractive when someone stays up late just to talk to you

[sandydgonzalez]

I feel like you have loved her so much and with such passion that you will never be able to love me like that, that all the plans we make, all the conversations we have, everything that we accomplish is just a crumb of what you had with her and you will always have her present.

Taunting you, making you feel like I am a diluted version of her, of what you had, tormenting you, making you realize that I will never be her, that new memories will be made but she will always be in the back of your mind and heart.

And I can’t blame you or her because that is what love is about, that is the type of love I am looking for, unforgettable, passionate, something that makes me crave their presence, I wish you could feel that way about me.

[sandydgonzalez]

Why do I feel like I am always chasing you?

[sandydgonzalez]

The year is about to end, and I am right here, staring to my ceiling, thinking about how much I want to be by your side, I want you to think about me and love you like I do.

Tears are falling down my face because I know my chances are almost nonexistent, because I cannot stop thinking about your beautiful eyes, your lovely freckles and the sound of your voice calling my name, because even if I try to love someone else I know the idea of you will be present on each step.

I crave the stories you tell me, your presence, your perfume, your warmth, I crave you, I can’t get enough, I would give up anything for you to feel the way that I do.

Is it a matter of time and patience? Or is it something I hace to accept?

[sandydgonzalez]

I want you to love me, but not the way you loved her, and I want to love you, but not the way she loved you.

I want us to be a team, to love each other through thick and thin, to make you laugh when you are happy and to be your comforting shoulder where you can cry on.

I want to remember everything about you, what you love, what you dislike, your favorite songs, your favorite places, the important dates and what you felt the first time we kissed.

I wish for you to love me back, I wish for us to make it through this, for you to realize that I am here for you, for you to know how much I love you and for you to love me back.

[thepersonalquotes]

do you ever hangout with someone for hours and hours and hours, but still miss them the second they leave??? because same

[sandydgonzalez]

What would I give to feel your hands on my face, to feel your lips on my forehead, to feel how your arms surround me like a fortress, like you are guarding my heart, my soul, just by putting yout arms around me.

What would I give to know if you feel the same way that I do, to know if you want me to stroke your hair, or to hold your hand to walk you through all your dreams and hopes, to know if throughout your day I ever cross your mind.

Please tell me, tell me if you want me, if it is possible for you to adore me, if I stand a chance of winning your heart, or if by confessing my feelings I will lose you, because you started as a friend, but now I see you in another light and I don’t want to hurt you or hurt me in the process of loving you.

[sandydgonzalez]

If you are aware of my love for you I just want to ask you to love me in return

[sandydgonzalez]

I feel as a secondary character in my own life, watching everybody fall in love, achieve their dreams, going to adventures, feeling, crying, laughing, swearing, doing everything I feel I am unable to do.

Sometimes I forget about this, when I am sitting on a bench, having a smoke, seeing the light that passes through the trees touching my skin; feeling everything that surrounds me as mine.

And sometimes it feels unbearable, when I am speaking with you, and how you speak about the girl you love, how yo have travelled the world, how you are feeling amazing now, I feel like I am just watching from afar, even when I am centimeters away from you.

I get that feeling as well, when I want to reach out to you, when I want to touch your skin, feel the warm of your skin, that beautiful cinnamon skin with those freckles and those long eyelashes, and when I realize I am a side character to you, I will never be your focus, your love, your one and only, I will simply never mean to you what you mean to me, even when you tell me that you love me and I say it back, I know we don’t mean it the same way.

[sandydgonzalez]

Guess at the end I am just as selfish as everybody