sansettobei

Just my venting place. ♥

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.

I’ll probably start using tumblr as a diary again, it helps in a way by getting things off my chest. Sometimes people can read it, which is embarrassing but as long as someone can relate. I’ll be satisfied about not being super alone.

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If everyone was perfect, we’d be a terrible reality television show.

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You have to understand, whatever you say to him; comes back to me.

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I constantly feel like there is no air for me, and every time I attempt to breathe, it feels like I'm constantly being hit in the fucking stomach.

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My friend asked me to describe what my PTSD, Depression and Anxiety in a short story. This is what I came up with.

Do you ever feel like you're stuck in a plain field, but everything is grey and foggy. Like the grass around you is bright green, but it's mellowed out the grey around you, you can't see a thing, all you see is the distance. You don't know what's there, but you want to find out; but you're scared.  Your chest is tight, shortness of breathe until the point you feel like you're ready to pass out. You feel the tingle in your lips, then you get the chill in your shoulders moving to your back as you're unsure what to do.  You feel your heart race even more, and you're getting scared; you're not sure if you wanna run forward or stay still, but you can feel it in your knees and the pressure in your toes and ankles that you wanna run away. You take a giant breath that goes into your chest, and it sticks there before it slowly goes down, hurting you slightly but you ignore it by bursting out in a run, running until you feel like you want to give up, but you continue because you're unsure if you're going anywhere, but you keep running. You keep going, you feel dizzy for continuing and it keeps getting dark around you, you feel your shoulders and chest cave in a little bit, but you're still running because you're scared and you're not even sure of what you're scared of. You're panting and all you feel is burning in your throat and chest, like you're ready to throw up but you taste blood, you continue to run, it keeps getting darker around until your legs give out, and you fall face first into water, now you're drowning, the land you were just on isn't there anymore,there it nothing there for you, all you feel is your feet getting heavier - you just ran and your legs doesn't wanna run, your chest still feels so fucking tight that you try to breathe harder and faster to get whatever you can, but the rush of water is pushing your chest against you and it's making it harder, you start freaking out and you swallow what and you keep feeling numb, your legs don't wanna work and neither does your arms; you can't even see anywhere to get out, so you go on your back, let out heavy breaths and let the water and dark consume you because that's all you know what to do. You're not drowning, but you feel like you're sinking, you just feel a hard pain in your chest and you just close your eyes and let it take you.

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im hurt

i just want people to let me hurt

i can never have emotions and when i do its wrong

i wanna be allowed to be angry or upset or feel really sad and let it happen like everyone else.no one lets me

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During those times. I try to improve myself and learn to love the version of me that is now alone.

Missed Messages (Steam Game)

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This is really nice.. | HOME

HOME is a feel-good walking simulator experience in which you create your own poem and music. Embark on a poetic and musical heartwarming journey about what ...

I’ve been trying to become a better Youtuber, I started because of the little ones I’ve babysat really liking ROBLOX, then I moved on up trying to take it seriously.

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I was an idiot, begging on my knees on to the floor. Now I don't even want you anymore.

Post Malone

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Don’t fuck with someone’s feelings because you’re unsure about your own.

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One of the hardest things to do is mourn the loss of someone who is still alive.

Tati Westbook

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“What happens after we die?”

“All I know, is that.. The one’s who love us, will miss us.” - Keanu Reeves.

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If you can see a future without me and that doesn't break your heart, then we're not doing what I thought we were doing here.

Eric Forman

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Shane after this week in the beauty Community.

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it hurts knowing that the person you wanted and planned to be in your life forever won’t be there at all.

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Pain.

"Just because the person next to you is in a full body cast doesn't mean that your broken arm doesn't hurt, pain is pain." - Tati

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Read a small book in the doctors office today.

It’s a healthy little read, I enjoyed it plenty. The first chapter, which is a lengthy one has a short message that I just wanted to share to myself every time I jump on this.

“Don’t stress the little things, they are little things.” and it means a lot. I can get through this.