girl on fire.

I think I can name a few more positive qualities I like better.

Hey, I prefer the term sexshark. Isn’t like manwhore slut shamming? Uh, I don’t think people have any problem with showing them what I got. Puck Jr. is 10 times better than anything their wildest fantasies can come up with.

Yeah, well, like I said, there are many.

I’m not the one who branded you it. I prefer My Man or Fuckerman. But, please, slut shaming is something girls have to deal with on a daily basis, and everyone knows you’re not offended to be known as this school’s most experienced guy. Half the guys here are still just fantasizing about what it’d be like to graze their elbow against a girl’s chest in the hallways. Plus, it gives you that edge that nobody else has. I mean, take Hudson, for example. He’s the most popular guy in school, but everything about him screams virgin. Your studliness is basically your identity.

You’re actually insane. You know that? Like it kinda scares me but turns me on at the same time, it’s a little confusing but I can roll with it.

Do you really expect me to keep all this to myself? Babe, my body is too caliente to keep under wraps. It needs to be shared with the world. Just think of those spicy pics as charity for the brace faces and ugos of Lima.

I know. Just one of my many positive qualities.

Yeah, actually, I do. The reason people refer to you as this school’s biggest manwhore is because you give it away so freely. Let people wonder what’s going on under those trashy outfits your mom picks out for you, don’t literally show them. Otherwise, you’re just losing half of your appeal right there.

rachbxrryx-blog

Are you drunk or something, Santana? Because there’s no way on earth I’m singing backup for the Cheerios. I mean, look at what you just wrote! How could you not have heard of Tony Award-winner and Broadway superstar Idina Menzel before!? Wicked, Rent, If/Then - her performances in those musicals were legendary!

You called us ‘Glee losers’, Santana. Does this mean you no longer care about your school reputation?

#d: all.#d: rachel.#p: rachel.

When I wrote that I might’ve been, but I’m 100% sober right now, and I’ll repeat that yes, you will be singing backup. Everyone knows these kind of competitions aren’t even about talent—I mean, even if they were, you know the Cheerios would be front and center anyway—they’re glorified beauty pageants. The only way we’re going to win any competitions is by putting our best looking members up front, which means me, Q, Britts and Gigantor. She was in Rent? Are you sure?

Please, you’re still a Glee loser. The club’s still mostly full of Glee losers. But me? I could dress up as one of the Teletubbies and crawl through the school hallways and everyone would still think I was cool. Like I said, I’m just upping the Glee club’s credibility here.

milo-rhodes

That’s quite the evaluation.

Jesse St. James. And you are?

#d: all.#d: jesse.#p: jesse.

I don’t do anything by half.

Santana Lopez. Cheerio, and hottest piece of action McKinley’s ever seen.

rachbxrryx-blog

Okay, you know what? This is getting way out of hand. First, I have to accept the fact that a sexist has been given the green light to join the club, and now, the Cheerios too!? I don’t know what Mr. Schue was thinking, but I can’t surround myself with negative people who don’t know anything about show choir. I’m going to be a huge Broadway star someday, and Mr. Schue is deliberately trying to sabotage my chances of becoming that.

#d: all.#d: rachel.#p: rachel.

I don’t know which sexist has joined, but I do know Q, Britts and I just brought some sexy to the group, and if I were you, I’d be thanking us. I may not know the first thing about show choir, and sure, maybe it took me until about a week ago to realize Frozen’s Elsa is played by some Broadway actress, whose name apparently isn’t Adele Dazeem like both me and John Travolta originally thought, but now at least the group has some eye candy and a little credibility thanks to us. I’m sure your nasally ooh’s and background ahh’s will make half decent backup for us, so it’s win-win.

milo-rhodes

Well, as far as show choir debuts go, the New Direction’s was definitely… Interesting. I’m sure the videos I’ve seen aren’t doing justice to the actual performance, but nevertheless, I suppose the duty lies to me to welcome you all to the world of competitive show choir.

Welcome.

#d: all.#d: jesse.#p: jesse.

I don’t know which videos you’ve seen, since I don’t know who’d want to document that living nightmare for anything other than a brand new fail show titled America’s Worst Home Videos, but I can guarantee that they didn’t do it justice in showing how stunningly bad the whole thing was. It happened a whole week ago now and I’m still having nightmares.

TEXTS 📲 QUINNTANA.

QUINN: I'm still president of the Celibacy Club, San. I'm not going to stoop to her level, because that would make me just as desperate for affection as she clearly is.

QUINN: But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to make sure to take whatever opportunity I can to remind her Finn is with me, not her.

QUINN: So we audition tomorrow? We can put something together tonight, my place.

SANTANA: Please, it's not about you being desperate for affection. It's about making Berry even more jealous and pathetic looking than she already is. I'm not telling you to give the big V to him in the middle of the choir room, but a little reminder in the form of your lips touching every now and then won't go amiss.

SANTANA: Fine. We're auditioning together, though. Mr Schue is all kinds of creepy, I'm not about to stand in a room alone with him and watch him try to mentally undress me.

#t: all.#t: quinn.#p: quinn.

First off, I don’t care. Besides, facebook is super fucking boring. Like I’m tired of seeing you post those short videos of how to make cake and how to draw snoopy with pancakes. But hey, chill before you bust a blood vessel or somethin’. I don’t think you want to go after like half your squad. Besides can you really blame them? The pic I posted was like cover of Play Girl material.

Okay, first of all, it’s hilarious that you think I wouldn’t go after half of the squad. I’m fine with going after the entire squad, Puckerman. I do it on a regular basis as part of Sue’s ‘keep everyone on their toes’ scheme. Feeding off the fear in people’s eyes is like crack for me.

Second, I owns that Play Girl material bod and everything that goes along with it, so you best keep a little reminder for yourself stored right at the front of your grape sized brain the next time you plan to throw it in everyone else’s face.

#t: all.#t: quinn.#p: quinn.

TEXTS 📲 QUINNTANA.

QUINN: It's funny that you mention taking charge, because that's step one. Imagine how quickly Berry will run out crying if WE steal her precious club out from underneath her.

QUINN: It shouldn't be hard. We're talented, we have award-winning experience, and we haven't just pissed off the entire school board and town with a risque performance.

QUINN: Then we work on breaking the rest of them down and before you know it, Glee Club will be nothing but a bad memory.

SANTANA: I like it. Plus, you saw the way she was practically dry humping Finn during the halftime show, right? She was like a cat in heat whenever she so much as looked at him. You're his girlfriend, and you're way hotter than she is. Ditch any reservations about PDA whenever we're in that choir room and make sure you gets your mack on with your man at every opportunity.

ssmythe

FTF → [ FINNTANA ]

ssmythe

Finn sighed. He was so tired of fighting with Santana. Not just because she tore into him every single time Glee Club was mentioned (and even when it wasn’t), but also because she always sort of had a point, and that frustrated him. As much as he wanted to just shut her down and walk away, he rarely ever had an argument that made sense. Though he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on in the crowd the whole time because he sort of felt like he was going to pass out the entire time, he was sure Santana was right in that it was a vastly negative reaction. She just didn’t have to be so rude about it, because they didn’t sound that bad. But of course she did, because it was Santana.

Still, he did his best to consider himself a friend of hers. After all, through the horrible nicknames and insults she threw at him, it all boiled down to her wanting him to keep his reputation intact. And although there were much better ways to do that without making Finn want to put her in her place, he could understand it. “We haven’t won a game because we haven’t found the right thing to get our heads in the game yet. Trust me, I’m working on it.” He shook his head. “I can’t end it now. If I leave before we even got the chance to win anything, then all of this was for absolutely nothing.” He sighed, lowering his voice once again. “I’m not doing anything to hurt Quinn. As soon as we actually accomplish something, people will stop seeing it as some huge joke. And even if they don’t, I’ll be able to quit then anyway. It’s simple.”

#ftf: all.#ftf: 003.#ftf: finn.#p: finn.

Despite what many may have thought, Santana didn’t exactly enjoy insulting people. Well, no, she did, but not people she considered her friends, and Finn was one of them. Sure, he somehow managed to look like both Jack’s beanstalk and the giant that fell from up top of it all rolled into one, and sometimes he made this face where he looked like an overly gassy toddler, but he was cool, and Santana only spent about forty percent of her time wanting to punch him in the face, so that had to mean something. It made tearing into him less enjoyable than she would’ve found laying a verbal smackdown on Berry or that gay kid, so when he seemed to just kind of accept what she was saying, or at least seemed like he’d decided not to fight her anymore, it was kind of a relief. Not that she’d admit that, and still pushed a smug smile to her lips in response.

“And you think singing show tunes is what’s gonna get your heads in the game?” She paused, having more to say, but instead frowned up at him, her brows knitting together. “All of what was for nothing?” she asked, eyeing him curiously, before a realization hit her. “Wait,” she said, eyes widening as she set her drink down on the table, another smug smile spreading across her lips, “You made out with that Kurt kid, right? And this is all some kind of blackmail so he won’t tell anyone. God, I should be a detective,” she laughed, slapping him lightly on the arm. Evidently, she was a little more than buzzed by now, which seemed to have happened quickly. Soon, she’d be sobbing about everything and anything, but for now, she was good.

Turning to retrieve her drink, she grinned up at him, “Don’t even worry about it, Finnocence. Your big, gay secret is totally safe with me. I won’t even tell Q. Although she’s gonna kill you when she ever does find out. I mean, I know she looks like a helpless Barbie doll that’s getting ready to snap in half at any moment, but she could probably do some damage. Mostly to your reputation... But, anyways, like I said, your secret’s totally safe with me.”

BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL ➝ DANTANA.

hotforteacherdani-blog

After her weird talk with Hunter and then her run-in with Quinn which was, even more, weirder because she had been pleasant with the Minions, Dani had found herself continuing to drink along until she was drunk enough to find somebody to take her keys. Or at least to help her go home, did she? Hopefully. She had gotten another drink as soon as she found herself sitting on one of the couches and found a crying Santana Lopez by her side. Looking around as she didn’t find any other open seats, opening and closing her mouth once more as she tried to find the right words to say to the girl. “You okay?” She asked, slowly hoping that her words weren’t as slurred as they were.

#ftf: all.#ftf: 004.#ftf: dani.#p: dani.

There had been plenty of people who had asked if Santana was okay or why she was crying, but she’d either pushed past them, yelled at them or just flat out ignored them, and now she found herself slumped over on the couch, and registering the sound of yet another person asking if she was okay. Truth be told, Santana wasn’t even sure how to answer. It wasn’t like there was really anything specific wrong with her, this was just how she was when she was drunk. Everything became even more of a drama to her than usual. “Do I look okay?” she snapped in a choked up voice as she looked up, seeing Dani again. “Everything’s a mess! This school suck in general, but now it sucks even more because the Glee club stole our quarterback, and we lost the game like we always do, and we had to cheer for Rachel Berry and that kid with the ugly sweaters and gay hairdo. I’m just a really, really good person and everything always goes wrong for me. Nobody thinks about my feelings.”

TEXTS 📲 QUINNTANA.

QUINN: Believe me, I've been looking into private schools. But you know Sue would find us and make our lives hell.

QUINN: And I'm not going to let a club run by Rachel Berry chase me away from this school. It's /ours/, San.

QUINN: Look, we can make this work, all right? Sue will kill us if we don't.

QUINN: And the faster we make Glee Clubb implode, the faster everything goes back to normal.

QUINN: I have ideas.

SANTANA: How did we get so unlucky that we got landed with not only going to the worst school in the country, but we got a cheerleading coach that makes even you and I look tame?

SANTANA: You're right, it is. I'm in, but I am NOT going to stand by and sway in the background of a club that Gay Berry is the leader of. It takes me enough effort not to puke all over myself every day whenever I think of the fact that you're my captain, and you're one of my besties. There's no way in hell I'm gonna take orders from Rachel.

SANTANA: We're taking charge while we're there.

SANTANA: What are your ideas?

#t: all.#t: quinn.#p: quinn.

TEXTS 📲 QUINNTANA.

SANTANA: We're not actually doing this, right?

SANTANA: We have to transfer, Q.

#t: all.#t: quinn.#p: quinn.#hakunaquinn

‘Sup babes and bro’s. Apparently Facebook has some kind of filter that means posting selfies of Puck. Jr is ‘violating terms and conditions’ – which is super lame. But I’ve been banned so I figured I’d give this crap a try.

First off, you’re disgusting. Seriously, who gets themselves banned from Facebook? Second, we’re basically dating, so I wants a list of anybody who liked the pictures so I can show them a little Lima Heights hospitality.