I sometimes hate myself when I am in love with someone. The way II act , the way i give all to someone only to realize that he might not love me like I do. Even if he disrespects me or do or say the things which I may not in my dreams have thought of. Oh why am i like this, Why do i feel the need to fix everything, why am i become so obsessed, why do i have to cry or fight every fucking time. He says he loves me but then why i feel lonely , why i feel the disappointment creeping. Why I have to cry or suffer for things i want . Am i that cruel , unkind person to deserve all of this. But i can't leave him because I love him and yeah i know that this is the stupid sentence but i can't help either.
I am so sorry to myself but this part disgusts me but this is the way am I and i hate it so much but i can't help though ... I can't .....
I'm sorry :(