Salvation in the form of your graceā¦
Poly!Rafe Cameron x (Fem)Reader x Barry
As Rafe allows himself to continue to be brainwashed by his father, his slowly leaves behind the two people who truly love him more than anyone.
Warnings: mentions of abuse, emotional manipulation, drug and alcohol use, cursing, violence, homophobia, (light)dom/sub dynamic, smut
A/N: I will die on my Rarry hill so let me have this, also please be nice because some of the things written in are from personal experience so donāt freak out thinking I added it for shock value. Fanfiction is how I cope.
I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes
The trio was indeed an odd group. No one was quite sure what to make of it, but they didnāt question. Simply out of fear of the two men constantly by her sides.
It all started with a drunken blur of a night. Rafe was high and upset and he found himself at Barryās trailer.
Rafe pounded his fist against the door until it swung open.
āItās late- the fuck do you want?ā Barry asked.
Y/N was there, leaning out from behind Barry shyly.
āRafe, are you okay?ā She whispered softly, stepping past Barry to gently take Rafeās hands.
His eyes were filled with tears, he was shaking.
Before Barry could make a reprimand Rafe for the unsolicited comment, he was interrupted.
āI-I need you bothā¦youās are all Iāve got anymore.ā Rafe said, holding back sobs. Barryās jaw unclenched and Y/N pulled him into her arms.
āWeāre here- you have us, Rafe.ā She whispered. He cried into her neck, clutching her sides.
Barry ushered them inside and settled Rafe onto the count. His hands raked through his hair as he cried.
āHey, hey, Rafe. Look at me, youāre good. Youāre good.ā Barry whispered, gently touching Rafeās chin.
āH-He doesnāt see what I do for him- he keeps fucking using me!ā Rafe yelled. Y/N jumped and shakily held his cheek.
āBaby, look at me. You canāt keep doing things for him- you canāt let him treat you like this.ā Y/N whispered, her thumb stroking his cheek.
āB-But heās my dad.ā He croaked. Her heart broke into a million little pieces for him. She understood more than anyone what it felt like to be discarded by a parent.
āListen, he aināt gonna bother you here. Alright?ā Barry whispered. Rafe nodded and looked between the two.
āThank you.ā He whispered, gently taking each of their hands. Barry swallowed nervously and nodded.
āYeahā¦of course, country club. Youāve always got a home here.ā Barry said.
The three loved one another so much. Having been neglected all their lives. They fed off the love they never got to give. Y/N the most out of all of them. Constantly needing to be touched by one of them. Whether it was holding one of their hands or behind cradled in one of their laps.
She needed to feel as close as possible.
Barry and Y/N helped Rafe more than they knew. Helping him with his drug habit, helping him with his mental health. Trying to make sure he was in a good place and had somewhere he could express his emotions without judgement.
Rafe never understood what having a home was like until them. Rafe and Y/N had become his home.
I can't seem to drown you out long enough
Both boys hadnāt come to terms with their sexualities before their relationship. So when it started, it was difficult. Rafe wasnāt used to affection and Barry was jaded. He wasnāt good at talking about how he felt and it resulted in a lot of bickering.
The boys were fighting. Y/N could hear them from outside the trailer. She hated the fighting but it came to a point where she needed to intervene.
Storming inside and slamming the bedroom door open.
āEnough! Both of you!ā She yelled, tears already burning in her eyes.
I fell victim to the sound of your love
āWeāre sorry, baby.ā Barry murmured. Y/N sighed and crossed her arms tightly.
āThe fighting has to stopā¦itās driving me crazy you guys. We love each other. A-And I know thatās hard for you twoā¦but you know itās true.ā She whispered, her hands cupping their cheeks gently.
āOh fuck off, Barry.ā Rafe murmured, pulling away. Y/N clenched her jaw and grabbed his sleeve.
āLook at me, Rafe. I-I know this is harder for you than anyone. With your dadā¦but itās okay.ā Y/N cooed, ushering Barry over.
Barry tenderly cupped Rafeās face, causing the boy to flush.
āWe love you, big boy. So I guess youāre stuck with us.ā Barry said lowly, his thumb gently stroking the boy's cheek as it heated up under his palm.
āI-I love you too. Love the both of you so fucking much.ā Rafe whispered. Barry smirked and pulled Rafe down into a soft kiss. Causing them both to let out a soft noise of satisfaction.
Y/N smiled brightly. Her heart swelling with adoration.
As they parted, Barry kissed Y/N gently, fingers gripping her chin.
āArenāt you just the sweetest little problem solver, huh?ā He teased. Her cheeks flushed and she pushed him back playfully.
āI-I hate when you two fight.ā She whispered shyly. Rafe grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into his chest.
āWe know, honey. Weāre sorry. Wonāt ever happen again.ā Rafe cooed. She nodded, burying herself into his arms.
You're like a song that I ain't ready to stopā¦
I got nothing but you on my mind
Rafeās father was becoming a problem. His cruel words slowly getting to Rafe once more. Even after spending so long letting himself be loved and cherished by not one but two people.
He couldnāt get the vile words out of his head.
āSo youāre a queer freak now, is that it?ā
āYou think those scum actually care about you?ā
āThe drugs have fucked your brain up worse than we thought if you think they care about anything other than money!ā
āThey fucking care!ā Rafe screamed, chest heaving with every strained breath that left him.
āYou are nothing to them!ā Ward yelled. Rafe pulled at the roots of his hair roughly. Tears filling his eyes.
āThey treat me like Iām someone! They fucking care!ā Rafe growled, grabbing his bag and leaving. Getting on his bike and letting it take him as fast as it could to the trailer.
The revving of the engine alerting the two inside that Rafe was home.
The trailer door slammed open and Y/N jumped.
āI need a fuckinā drink.ā He grumbled. Y/N looked to Barry who sat across from her. The worry on her face evident.
āIāll go.ā Barry said softly. Y/N nodded and watched him follow Rafe into the kitchen.
āSomething happened, bug?ā Barry asked, soft twang to his accent. Rafe inhaled sharply and gripped the counter tightly.
āMy fucking fatherā¦what else is new.ā Rafe grumbled. Barry nodded slowly, eyeing the distraught boy carefully.
āWhatād he say this time?ā Barry asked softly, hand coming up to gently hold the back of Rafeās neck. Rafe turned and swallowed back tears.
āY-You guysā¦you care. I know you fucking do.ā Rafe whispered. Barryās heart dropped and he nodded.
āWe care, bug. Donāt doubt that, pretty boy.ā Barry said, pulling him down into a tight hug.
When Y/N didnāt hear any yelling, her worry grew. She followed after him and found them tightly hugging. Rafe crying softly into Barryās shoulder.
āGet in here, sweet cheeks.ā Barry said, seeing her pout at the sight of them hugging without her. She buried herself into their arms and pressed sweet little kisses against Rafeās tear stained cheeks.
āWe love you so much, Rafey. Always be here for you.ā She whispered. He laughed softly through his tears and squeezed her waist.
āI love youās too, so fucking much.ā Rafe murmured. Y/N squealed as he nearly took her off her feet. Her fingers gently brushing through his hair.
I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes
Barry and Y/N didnāt mind reassuring Rafe they loved him. They wanted him to know he was cared for. But he wasnāt the only one that let his insecurities haunt him.
Before Barry, and before Rafe, Y/N lived with a neglectful father. Mostly absent, and when he wasnāt, he was treating her like shit. Beating on her, locking her out of the house in the middle of storms.
Funny enough, the two had met through her father. Barry was her fathers dealer and one day, her father had wracked up a hefty debt. And when Barry went to his house to collect, he found poor, bruised and beaten Y/N instead.
Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place
Y/N was sleeping between the two boys. Itād been a long night, Y/Nās father showing up at Barryās trailer.
It took a while to get him to leave, but when Barry called Rafe, the two of them were enough to scare him off.
She was stirring, unable to get comfortable. Her eyes opened and she whimpered softly.
Sitting up quickly and slipping from bed. Her head was spinning with a million thoughts at once.
She was sitting on the foot end of the bed. Picking at her fingers. Maybe she didnāt deserve them.
Maybe she was bound to end up a worthless old drunk like her father. Or maybe sheād die young of an overdose like so many she knew before. Life was cruel, but her mind was crueler.
Her soft whimpers, slowly turning into cries. Which quickly turned into muffled sobs as she tried desperately to not wake the boys behind her.
I was only just a breath removed from going to waste
Barry was the first to wake up. Looking down at her, knees pulled up to her chest. He nudged Rafe awake and they sat up and their hearts broke.
āHey, sweet thing. Whatās on your mind?ā Barry whispered. Her head turned to look at them and her cheeks flushed. Feeling silly for crying.
āMāsorry. Didnāt mean to wake you up.ā She said softly. Rafe pulled her into his lap and she whimpered, brushing her tears away.
āW-What if I end up l-like him?ā She cried. Rafe cradled her against this chest, kissing her head repeatedly as Barry kissed her knuckles.
āThat aināt gonna happen, pretty girl. You know why?ā Barry whispered. She shook her head and sniffled, lifting her head from Rafeās neck to look up at the two boys.
āBecause youāre goodā¦youāre smart, and funny as hell. And creative, youāre gonna do something great. We both fucking know it.ā Rafe whispered. Y/N sniffled and peered up at the boy holding her.
āDonāt you forget that.ā Barry said. Y/N nodded and leaned forward, kissing Barry slowly.
She needed to be surrounded by them. She pulled away from Barry and kissed Rafe slowly, whimpering as his fingers tangled into her hair. Soft little pants leaving her.
āWhatād you need, sweet thing? Hm?ā Barry murmured, lips gently brushing along her neck.
āN-Need to feel you- please?ā She begged softly. Rafe met Barryās eyes and evil smirks spread across their faces.
āYeah- weāll take care of you, honey. Who do you want first?ā Rafe murmured, his hands slowly working her sleep shirt off.
She couldnāt force her words out. It was all making her head fuzzy. She didnāt care who she had first. She just needed to feel close to them.
He carefully maneuvers her so sheās laid back against his chest, Barry kneeling between their legs as Rafe forcefully spreads hers.
Her chest rose and fell quickly as Barry gently kissed down her body. Little whimpers leaving her parted lips.
Rafeās hands traveled over every inch of exposed skin. Along her shoulders and down her arms. Trailing over her tummy and smirking as she squirmed at the ticklish sensation, before settling his warm hands on her breasts. Fingers playing with her sensitive nipples, pulling and pinching the peaked buds.
āGonna make you feel real good, sweet thing.ā Barry cooed, grabbing her hips.
āLemme ask you again, who do you want first? Gotta use your words, sweetheart.ā Rafe said lowly, suckling bruises along her neck. Leaving her shoulders bare for Barry to mark up.
āY-You, Rafey. W-Want you first.ā She whimpered. Barry chuckled lowly, helping Rafe move her. They handled her like she was a China doll. Like she was nothing but could break at any moment.
āThatāsa good girl.ā Barry said softly. Rafe was sat on the edge of the bed with Y/N in his lap. Her back against his chest.
Barry stood in front of them, his hand gently holding her face.
āReady, sweetheart?ā Rafe murmured. She nodded, humming her response.
Pushing her panties to the side, Rafe lowered her down onto his cock. His falling back at the feeling of her soft walls hugging him so nicely.
Y/Nās hands flew out to grab onto Barryās shoulders for support. Soft moans falling past her lips as tears filled her eyes.
Rafeās rough hand pressed against her tummy as she adjusted to his size.
āF-Feel so good.ā She sobbed, using her grip on Barryās shoulders to gyrate her hips against Rafe.
āFuck- youāre perfect.ā Rafe groaned against her neck.
āLook how pretty you two look fuckinā- know how to drive me crazy, donātcha?ā Barry growled. Y/N whimpered and parted her lips as Barry slid his fingers into her mouth.
āOh shes fucking needy, isnāt she, pretty boy?ā Barry teased. Making her cheeks flush.
She was. She was desperate for any touch they were willing to give her. She needed to be reminded she was theres. That night, she was thoroughly reminded who she belonged to.
Till I found salvation in the form of your graceā¦
Barry hadnāt loved anyone like he loved Rafe and Y/N. Not ever in his life. Part of him was scared heād lose them one day. That they realized they both could do so much better.
Y/N would kiss all over his face and tell him sheād never leave him.
Rafe would wrap his arms around him from behind and tell him heās stuck with them both.
It was all the reassurance Barry needed.
Before Y/N, both men were deeply haunted by their lives. Using drugs as an escape. With help and encouragement from one another, they got clean. Minus cigarettes and the occasional joint.
They truly were good for one another.
On the verge of almost bleeding you outā¦
The couple had spent so long making sure Rafe had finally learned to ignore his father. Only wanting him to realize he was so much more than the little credit his father gave him.
To his father, he was a nuisance. A disappointment.
But to them, he was kind and caring. A natural protector and caregiver. Y/N had grown to love the nights they spent painting rocks together and then hiding them all over the lawn for Barry to find.
Barry loved the movies night theyād have together, Y/N cuddled up between as Rafeās fingers carded through his messy hair.
But as time passed, it was clear that Rafe never moved on from his father. In fact, he was influencing him worse than ever.
Rafe hadnāt come around for a couple days. Y/N missed him and Barry wouldnāt admit it, but he missed him too.
It was a week before he was seen by either one. Of course they talked, but his absence was noted.
āRafey! Where have you been?ā Y/N said sweetly, jumping up and hugging him tightly. Barry was less quick to forgive and forget his unannounced disappearance.
āI was around, sweetheart.ā He said, his hand squeezing her ass playfully as she ran back to her lounge chair.
āYeah- Iād like to know where the fuck youāve been too, country club?ā Barry grumbled, walking over to Y/N and gently stroking her hair.
āListen- I said I was around. Fuck off, man. I just need to buy some shit right now. Okay?ā Rafe said. Y/Nās heart stopped and she sat up quickly. Legs swinging over the side of the chair.
āYouāre here to buy?ā Y/N whispered, tears springing to her eyes. Barryās arm gently wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into his side.
āI-I thoughtā¦y-you both were clean?ā Y/N whimpered.
āYou thought I was fucking serious? Nah- I aināt about that shit. I just need like a gram or two, man. I got the cash.ā Rafe said, tossing the money down onto the ground at their feet.
āDonāt be talking to her that way- you know how important that promise was to her. What the fuck is up, bug?ā Barry said lowly, stepping over the money to stand in front of Rafe.
āJesus! Nothing is up! Canāt I just get my fucking drugs and dip?ā Rafe said.
āN-No! Not when you left us wondering for a week? W-What about us? Didnāt you think to l-let us know?ā Y/N cried, her hands slamming against his chest to push him back.
Rafeās lip twitched with anger. His eyes darkening. His hand flew up and grabbed her jaw tightly.
āNo I didnāt think to let youās know because I didnāt give a shit.ā He growled. Y/N cried and pushed him back, Barry stepping between them quickly.
āDonāt fucking touch her like that? What the hell is wrong with you?ā Barry yelled, grabbing the front of Rafeās polo shirt in his fist.
This wasnāt the Rafe theyād fallen in love with. It was someone completely different. This was who theyād met so many months before theyād all gotten together.
āIām not getting you your fucking drugs. Not after this shit. Donāt come back till youāre ready to tell us whatās got you all worked up.ā Barry growled. Trying to mask the hurt he was feeling with protectiveness for Y/N.
Rafe shoved him off of him and scoffed.
āFuck you both.ā Rafe growled, mounting his bike and driving off.
Y/N cried softly, rubbing softly at her jaw where Rafe had grabbed her. They hadnāt seen him like that in months. Theyād gotten used to the affectionate sweetheart that was in their bed most nights.
Not the unhinged coke head that had just taken his anger out on the two people who loved him most.
Barry hugged her to his chest tightly and tried to ease her mind.
āHe aināt right for that, sweet thing. But you know him, heās just going through it right now. Heāll come round.ā Barry murmured.
Not sure if he was convincing her or himself truthfully.
Are we too wounded now to ever come down?
Oh, how I long for us to find common ground
Y/N had work to keep her mind off of worrying about Rafe. If she spent too long thinking about it, sheād find herself crying again and her head hurt enough.
When she got home, Barry was sitting outside smoking by the fire.
āHey, baby. Comeāer.ā He murmured. She happily slid into his lap and buried herself into his arms.
āHave you heard from him?ā Y/N whispered. Barryās head fell back against the chair and he sighed.
āNahā¦not a fucking word.ā He grumbled. Her heart dropped and she rested her head on his shoulder.
āD-Did I do something?ā She whispered, her insecurities creeping up on her. Barry sat up, hands instantly grasping her cheeks.
āHey, look at me. Youāre fucking perfect. Hell..I still donāt know why youāre with either of us. You didnāt do a damn thing wrong, sweet thing.ā Barry said. Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded shyly.
āH-He wonāt answer any texts or calls. I-I donāt know what c-could be this bad, Bear.ā She cried. He hushed her, lips pressing against her head.
āWe were nothing but good to him.ā Barry murmured. Feeling the unmistakable sinking in his chest that he hadnāt felt in so long.
I've got nothing but you on my mind
They were left in the dust with no answers. He simply vanished from their lives. For a while, it hurt Y/N in a different way than Barry.
Barry had trusted him, finally let someone in. And he got hurt. He wouldnāt admit it out loud but he was fucking hurt.
Some nights he laid awake, head on the pillow just staring at the blank ceiling. He couldnāt get his mind to quiet down. He knew it couldnāt have been anything either one of them had done.
There was no answer, no reasons or clarityā¦until the day Rafe walked onto the property in tears. The first time in weeks theyād seen him.
āI-I need to talk to you both.ā He said lowly. Y/Nās heart skipped and beat and she yelled for Barry to come outside.
He rushed out the door, stopping in his tracks.
āSome fucking nerve youāve got- showing up hereā¦
āI-I know- Iām here to give you answers. Y-You both deserve answers.ā He said, fidgeting at her turned to look at the black car behind him where both Y/N and Barry could make out the outline of his father in the drivers seat.
āWeāve gotta end itā¦all of it.ā Rafe said. Y/N looked at Ward Cameron sitting in the car. Smug look on his face.
āT-Tell me itās not because of your dad.ā Y/N whispered, a sudden boldness comping over her. Mainly fueled by the anger she was feeling.
āI-Itāsā¦itās complicated.ā Rafe said.
āItās not!ā Y/N screamed, tears streaming down her face.
āTell us the truthā¦we deserve at least that.ā Barry said lowly, pulling Y/N back into his arms.
Rafe couldnāt force the words out. He couldnāt tell them it was his dad because then heād be admitting he fell for the act. That he fell for the if you leave them youāll be my favorite son again.
Because that would be more humiliating than breaking their hearts.
āI'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes.ā Barry said lowly. Y/N sniffled and stepped forward to take Rafeās hands in her own.
āDon't wanna let the pieces fall out of place.ā She begged. Rafe shook his head, tears staining his flushed cheeks.
His eyes said all he wanted to say. He loved them. So much that heād rather them hate him.
āP-Please, Rafe. D-Donāt fall for his lies. D-Donāt throw what we had away for him.ā Y/N begged. Rafe reached up and cupped her face gently, brushing her tears away gently.
āI found salvation in the form of your grace.ā He whispered, gently kissing her a final time.
He released Y/N and walked over to Barry. The shame settling in when he met the harsh eyes of the older man.
āI-I never wanted to hurt youā¦either of you.ā Rafe whispered. Barry reached up and cupped Rafeās cheek.
āI know, bug. I guess itās just the way things gotta be.ā Barry murmured. Rafe nodded silently, leaning down and giving him a gentle kiss.
āTake care of each other. I-I- Iām so sorry.ā Rafe said, forcing himself to pull away from the man. Barry nodded curtly, pulling Y/N into his chest as she cried softly.
They watched him get in the car and angrily wipe away his tears. The black car drove away and away until it was a spec in the distance.
Y/N sobbing into Barryās chest as the older man held back his own tears of anger.
They spent so long building up love and trust, only for it to be shattered in mere moments.
Months of love and comfort broken apart by cruel lies and fake promisesā¦
On the verge of almost bleeding you out
Are we too wounded now to ever come down?