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Salvation in the form of your grace…

Poly!Rafe Cameron x (Fem)Reader x Barry

As Rafe allows himself to continue to be brainwashed by his father, his slowly leaves behind the two people who truly love him more than anyone.

Warnings: mentions of abuse, emotional manipulation, drug and alcohol use, cursing, violence, homophobia, (light)dom/sub dynamic, smut

A/N: I will die on my Rarry hill so let me have this, also please be nice because some of the things written in are from personal experience so don’t freak out thinking I added it for shock value. Fanfiction is how I cope.

Bold Italics=flashbacks

Italics=lyrics

Word Count: 3906

I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes

The trio was indeed an odd group. No one was quite sure what to make of it, but they didn’t question. Simply out of fear of the two men constantly by her sides.

It all started with a drunken blur of a night. Rafe was high and upset and he found himself at Barry’s trailer.

Rafe pounded his fist against the door until it swung open.

“It’s late- the fuck do you want?” Barry asked.

Y/N was there, leaning out from behind Barry shyly.

“Rafe, are you okay?” She whispered softly, stepping past Barry to gently take Rafe’s hands.

His eyes were filled with tears, he was shaking.

“I-I need you-

Before Barry could make a reprimand Rafe for the unsolicited comment, he was interrupted.

“I-I need you both…you’s are all I’ve got anymore.” Rafe said, holding back sobs. Barry’s jaw unclenched and Y/N pulled him into her arms.

“We’re here- you have us, Rafe.” She whispered. He cried into her neck, clutching her sides.

Barry ushered them inside and settled Rafe onto the count. His hands raked through his hair as he cried.

“Hey, hey, Rafe. Look at me, you’re good. You’re good.” Barry whispered, gently touching Rafe’s chin.

“H-He doesn’t see what I do for him- he keeps fucking using me!” Rafe yelled. Y/N jumped and shakily held his cheek.

“Baby, look at me. You can’t keep doing things for him- you can’t let him treat you like this.” Y/N whispered, her thumb stroking his cheek.

“B-But he’s my dad.” He croaked. Her heart broke into a million little pieces for him. She understood more than anyone what it felt like to be discarded by a parent.

“Listen, he ain’t gonna bother you here. Alright?” Barry whispered. Rafe nodded and looked between the two.

“Thank you.” He whispered, gently taking each of their hands. Barry swallowed nervously and nodded.

“Yeah…of course, country club. You’ve always got a home here.” Barry said.

The three loved one another so much. Having been neglected all their lives. They fed off the love they never got to give. Y/N the most out of all of them. Constantly needing to be touched by one of them. Whether it was holding one of their hands or behind cradled in one of their laps.

She needed to feel as close as possible.

Barry and Y/N helped Rafe more than they knew. Helping him with his drug habit, helping him with his mental health. Trying to make sure he was in a good place and had somewhere he could express his emotions without judgement.

Rafe never understood what having a home was like until them. Rafe and Y/N had become his home.

I can't seem to drown you out long enough

Both boys hadn’t come to terms with their sexualities before their relationship. So when it started, it was difficult. Rafe wasn’t used to affection and Barry was jaded. He wasn’t good at talking about how he felt and it resulted in a lot of bickering.

The boys were fighting. Y/N could hear them from outside the trailer. She hated the fighting but it came to a point where she needed to intervene.

Storming inside and slamming the bedroom door open.

“Enough! Both of you!” She yelled, tears already burning in her eyes.

I fell victim to the sound of your love

“We’re sorry, baby.” Barry murmured. Y/N sighed and crossed her arms tightly.

“The fighting has to stop…it’s driving me crazy you guys. We love each other. A-And I know that’s hard for you two…but you know it’s true.” She whispered, her hands cupping their cheeks gently.

“We know…

“Oh fuck off, Barry.” Rafe murmured, pulling away. Y/N clenched her jaw and grabbed his sleeve.

“Look at me, Rafe. I-I know this is harder for you than anyone. With your dad…but it’s okay.” Y/N cooed, ushering Barry over.

Barry tenderly cupped Rafe’s face, causing the boy to flush.

“We love you, big boy. So I guess you’re stuck with us.” Barry said lowly, his thumb gently stroking the boy's cheek as it heated up under his palm.

“I-I love you too. Love the both of you so fucking much.” Rafe whispered. Barry smirked and pulled Rafe down into a soft kiss. Causing them both to let out a soft noise of satisfaction.

Y/N smiled brightly. Her heart swelling with adoration.

As they parted, Barry kissed Y/N gently, fingers gripping her chin.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest little problem solver, huh?” He teased. Her cheeks flushed and she pushed him back playfully.

“I-I hate when you two fight.” She whispered shyly. Rafe grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into his chest.

“We know, honey. We’re sorry. Won’t ever happen again.” Rafe cooed. She nodded, burying herself into his arms.

You're like a song that I ain't ready to stop…

I got nothing but you on my mind

Rafe’s father was becoming a problem. His cruel words slowly getting to Rafe once more. Even after spending so long letting himself be loved and cherished by not one but two people.

He couldn’t get the vile words out of his head.

“So you’re a queer freak now, is that it?”

“You think those scum actually care about you?”

“The drugs have fucked your brain up worse than we thought if you think they care about anything other than money!”

“They fucking care!” Rafe screamed, chest heaving with every strained breath that left him.

“You are nothing to them!” Ward yelled. Rafe pulled at the roots of his hair roughly. Tears filling his eyes.

“They treat me like I’m someone! They fucking care!” Rafe growled, grabbing his bag and leaving. Getting on his bike and letting it take him as fast as it could to the trailer.

The revving of the engine alerting the two inside that Rafe was home.

The trailer door slammed open and Y/N jumped.

“I need a fuckin’ drink.” He grumbled. Y/N looked to Barry who sat across from her. The worry on her face evident.

“I’ll go.” Barry said softly. Y/N nodded and watched him follow Rafe into the kitchen.

“Something happened, bug?” Barry asked, soft twang to his accent. Rafe inhaled sharply and gripped the counter tightly.

“My fucking father…what else is new.” Rafe grumbled. Barry nodded slowly, eyeing the distraught boy carefully.

“What’d he say this time?” Barry asked softly, hand coming up to gently hold the back of Rafe’s neck. Rafe turned and swallowed back tears.

“Y-You guys…you care. I know you fucking do.” Rafe whispered. Barry’s heart dropped and he nodded.

“We care, bug. Don’t doubt that, pretty boy.” Barry said, pulling him down into a tight hug.

When Y/N didn’t hear any yelling, her worry grew. She followed after him and found them tightly hugging. Rafe crying softly into Barry’s shoulder.

“Get in here, sweet cheeks.” Barry said, seeing her pout at the sight of them hugging without her. She buried herself into their arms and pressed sweet little kisses against Rafe’s tear stained cheeks.

“We love you so much, Rafey. Always be here for you.” She whispered. He laughed softly through his tears and squeezed her waist.

“I love you’s too, so fucking much.” Rafe murmured. Y/N squealed as he nearly took her off her feet. Her fingers gently brushing through his hair.

I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes

Barry and Y/N didn’t mind reassuring Rafe they loved him. They wanted him to know he was cared for. But he wasn’t the only one that let his insecurities haunt him.

Before Barry, and before Rafe, Y/N lived with a neglectful father. Mostly absent, and when he wasn’t, he was treating her like shit. Beating on her, locking her out of the house in the middle of storms.

Funny enough, the two had met through her father. Barry was her fathers dealer and one day, her father had wracked up a hefty debt. And when Barry went to his house to collect, he found poor, bruised and beaten Y/N instead.

Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place

Y/N was sleeping between the two boys. It’d been a long night, Y/N’s father showing up at Barry’s trailer.

It took a while to get him to leave, but when Barry called Rafe, the two of them were enough to scare him off.

She was stirring, unable to get comfortable. Her eyes opened and she whimpered softly.

Sitting up quickly and slipping from bed. Her head was spinning with a million thoughts at once.

She was sitting on the foot end of the bed. Picking at her fingers. Maybe she didn’t deserve them.

Maybe she was bound to end up a worthless old drunk like her father. Or maybe she’d die young of an overdose like so many she knew before. Life was cruel, but her mind was crueler.

Her soft whimpers, slowly turning into cries. Which quickly turned into muffled sobs as she tried desperately to not wake the boys behind her.

I was only just a breath removed from going to waste

Barry was the first to wake up. Looking down at her, knees pulled up to her chest. He nudged Rafe awake and they sat up and their hearts broke.

“Hey, sweet thing. What’s on your mind?” Barry whispered. Her head turned to look at them and her cheeks flushed. Feeling silly for crying.

“M’sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you up.” She said softly. Rafe pulled her into his lap and she whimpered, brushing her tears away.

“W-What if I end up l-like him?” She cried. Rafe cradled her against this chest, kissing her head repeatedly as Barry kissed her knuckles.

“That ain’t gonna happen, pretty girl. You know why?” Barry whispered. She shook her head and sniffled, lifting her head from Rafe’s neck to look up at the two boys.

“Because you’re good…you’re smart, and funny as hell. And creative, you’re gonna do something great. We both fucking know it.” Rafe whispered. Y/N sniffled and peered up at the boy holding her.

“Don’t you forget that.” Barry said. Y/N nodded and leaned forward, kissing Barry slowly.

She needed to be surrounded by them. She pulled away from Barry and kissed Rafe slowly, whimpering as his fingers tangled into her hair. Soft little pants leaving her.

“I-I need- I-I

“What’d you need, sweet thing? Hm?” Barry murmured, lips gently brushing along her neck.

“N-Need to feel you- please?” She begged softly. Rafe met Barry’s eyes and evil smirks spread across their faces.

“Yeah- we’ll take care of you, honey. Who do you want first?” Rafe murmured, his hands slowly working her sleep shirt off.

She couldn’t force her words out. It was all making her head fuzzy. She didn’t care who she had first. She just needed to feel close to them.

He carefully maneuvers her so she’s laid back against his chest, Barry kneeling between their legs as Rafe forcefully spreads hers.

Her chest rose and fell quickly as Barry gently kissed down her body. Little whimpers leaving her parted lips.

Rafe’s hands traveled over every inch of exposed skin. Along her shoulders and down her arms. Trailing over her tummy and smirking as she squirmed at the ticklish sensation, before settling his warm hands on her breasts. Fingers playing with her sensitive nipples, pulling and pinching the peaked buds.

“Gonna make you feel real good, sweet thing.” Barry cooed, grabbing her hips.

“Lemme ask you again, who do you want first? Gotta use your words, sweetheart.” Rafe said lowly, suckling bruises along her neck. Leaving her shoulders bare for Barry to mark up.

“Y-You, Rafey. W-Want you first.” She whimpered. Barry chuckled lowly, helping Rafe move her. They handled her like she was a China doll. Like she was nothing but could break at any moment.

“That’sa good girl.” Barry said softly. Rafe was sat on the edge of the bed with Y/N in his lap. Her back against his chest.

Barry stood in front of them, his hand gently holding her face.

“Ready, sweetheart?” Rafe murmured. She nodded, humming her response.

Pushing her panties to the side, Rafe lowered her down onto his cock. His falling back at the feeling of her soft walls hugging him so nicely.

Y/N’s hands flew out to grab onto Barry’s shoulders for support. Soft moans falling past her lips as tears filled her eyes.

Rafe’s rough hand pressed against her tummy as she adjusted to his size.

“F-Feel so good.” She sobbed, using her grip on Barry’s shoulders to gyrate her hips against Rafe.

“Fuck- you’re perfect.” Rafe groaned against her neck.

“Look how pretty you two look fuckin’- know how to drive me crazy, don’tcha?” Barry growled. Y/N whimpered and parted her lips as Barry slid his fingers into her mouth.

“Oh shes fucking needy, isn’t she, pretty boy?” Barry teased. Making her cheeks flush.

She was. She was desperate for any touch they were willing to give her. She needed to be reminded she was theres. That night, she was thoroughly reminded who she belonged to.

Till I found salvation in the form of your grace…

Barry hadn’t loved anyone like he loved Rafe and Y/N. Not ever in his life. Part of him was scared he’d lose them one day. That they realized they both could do so much better.

Y/N would kiss all over his face and tell him she’d never leave him.

Rafe would wrap his arms around him from behind and tell him he’s stuck with them both.

It was all the reassurance Barry needed.

Before Y/N, both men were deeply haunted by their lives. Using drugs as an escape. With help and encouragement from one another, they got clean. Minus cigarettes and the occasional joint.

They truly were good for one another.

On the verge of almost bleeding you out…

The couple had spent so long making sure Rafe had finally learned to ignore his father. Only wanting him to realize he was so much more than the little credit his father gave him.

To his father, he was a nuisance. A disappointment.

But to them, he was kind and caring. A natural protector and caregiver. Y/N had grown to love the nights they spent painting rocks together and then hiding them all over the lawn for Barry to find.

Barry loved the movies night they’d have together, Y/N cuddled up between as Rafe’s fingers carded through his messy hair.

But as time passed, it was clear that Rafe never moved on from his father. In fact, he was influencing him worse than ever.

Rafe hadn’t come around for a couple days. Y/N missed him and Barry wouldn’t admit it, but he missed him too.

It was a week before he was seen by either one. Of course they talked, but his absence was noted.

“Rafey! Where have you been?” Y/N said sweetly, jumping up and hugging him tightly. Barry was less quick to forgive and forget his unannounced disappearance.

“I was around, sweetheart.” He said, his hand squeezing her ass playfully as she ran back to her lounge chair.

“Yeah- I’d like to know where the fuck you’ve been too, country club?” Barry grumbled, walking over to Y/N and gently stroking her hair.

“Listen- I said I was around. Fuck off, man. I just need to buy some shit right now. Okay?” Rafe said. Y/N’s heart stopped and she sat up quickly. Legs swinging over the side of the chair.

“You’re here to buy?” Y/N whispered, tears springing to her eyes. Barry’s arm gently wrapped around her waist and pulled her back into his side.

“I-I thought…y-you both were clean?” Y/N whimpered.

“You thought I was fucking serious? Nah- I ain’t about that shit. I just need like a gram or two, man. I got the cash.” Rafe said, tossing the money down onto the ground at their feet.

“Don’t be talking to her that way- you know how important that promise was to her. What the fuck is up, bug?” Barry said lowly, stepping over the money to stand in front of Rafe.

“Jesus! Nothing is up! Can’t I just get my fucking drugs and dip?” Rafe said.

“N-No! Not when you left us wondering for a week? W-What about us? Didn’t you think to l-let us know?” Y/N cried, her hands slamming against his chest to push him back.

Rafe’s lip twitched with anger. His eyes darkening. His hand flew up and grabbed her jaw tightly.

“No I didn’t think to let you’s know because I didn’t give a shit.” He growled. Y/N cried and pushed him back, Barry stepping between them quickly.

“Don’t fucking touch her like that? What the hell is wrong with you?” Barry yelled, grabbing the front of Rafe’s polo shirt in his fist.

This wasn’t the Rafe they’d fallen in love with. It was someone completely different. This was who they’d met so many months before they’d all gotten together.

“I’m not getting you your fucking drugs. Not after this shit. Don’t come back till you’re ready to tell us what’s got you all worked up.” Barry growled. Trying to mask the hurt he was feeling with protectiveness for Y/N.

Rafe shoved him off of him and scoffed.

“Fuck you both.” Rafe growled, mounting his bike and driving off.

Y/N cried softly, rubbing softly at her jaw where Rafe had grabbed her. They hadn’t seen him like that in months. They’d gotten used to the affectionate sweetheart that was in their bed most nights.

Not the unhinged coke head that had just taken his anger out on the two people who loved him most.

Barry hugged her to his chest tightly and tried to ease her mind.

“He ain’t right for that, sweet thing. But you know him, he’s just going through it right now. He’ll come round.” Barry murmured.

Not sure if he was convincing her or himself truthfully.

Are we too wounded now to ever come down?

Oh, how I long for us to find common ground

Y/N had work to keep her mind off of worrying about Rafe. If she spent too long thinking about it, she’d find herself crying again and her head hurt enough.

When she got home, Barry was sitting outside smoking by the fire.

“Hey, baby. Come’er.” He murmured. She happily slid into his lap and buried herself into his arms.

“Have you heard from him?” Y/N whispered. Barry’s head fell back against the chair and he sighed.

“Nah…not a fucking word.” He grumbled. Her heart dropped and she rested her head on his shoulder.

“D-Did I do something?” She whispered, her insecurities creeping up on her. Barry sat up, hands instantly grasping her cheeks.

“Hey, look at me. You’re fucking perfect. Hell..I still don’t know why you’re with either of us. You didn’t do a damn thing wrong, sweet thing.” Barry said. Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded shyly.

“H-He won’t answer any texts or calls. I-I don’t know what c-could be this bad, Bear.” She cried. He hushed her, lips pressing against her head.

“We were nothing but good to him.” Barry murmured. Feeling the unmistakable sinking in his chest that he hadn’t felt in so long.

I've got nothing but you on my mind

They were left in the dust with no answers. He simply vanished from their lives. For a while, it hurt Y/N in a different way than Barry.

Barry had trusted him, finally let someone in. And he got hurt. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he was fucking hurt.

Some nights he laid awake, head on the pillow just staring at the blank ceiling. He couldn’t get his mind to quiet down. He knew it couldn’t have been anything either one of them had done.

There was no answer, no reasons or clarity…until the day Rafe walked onto the property in tears. The first time in weeks they’d seen him.

“I-I need to talk to you both.” He said lowly. Y/N’s heart skipped and beat and she yelled for Barry to come outside.

He rushed out the door, stopping in his tracks.

“Some fucking nerve you’ve got- showing up here…

“I-I know- I’m here to give you answers. Y-You both deserve answers.” He said, fidgeting at her turned to look at the black car behind him where both Y/N and Barry could make out the outline of his father in the drivers seat.

“We’ve gotta end it…all of it.” Rafe said. Y/N looked at Ward Cameron sitting in the car. Smug look on his face.

“T-Tell me it’s not because of your dad.” Y/N whispered, a sudden boldness comping over her. Mainly fueled by the anger she was feeling.

“I-It’s…it’s complicated.” Rafe said.

“It’s not!” Y/N screamed, tears streaming down her face.

“Tell us the truth…we deserve at least that.” Barry said lowly, pulling Y/N back into his arms.

Rafe couldn’t force the words out. He couldn’t tell them it was his dad because then he’d be admitting he fell for the act. That he fell for the if you leave them you’ll be my favorite son again.

Because that would be more humiliating than breaking their hearts.

“I'm not ready to be just another of your mistakes.” Barry said lowly. Y/N sniffled and stepped forward to take Rafe’s hands in her own.

“Don't wanna let the pieces fall out of place.” She begged. Rafe shook his head, tears staining his flushed cheeks.

His eyes said all he wanted to say. He loved them. So much that he’d rather them hate him.

“P-Please, Rafe. D-Don’t fall for his lies. D-Don’t throw what we had away for him.” Y/N begged. Rafe reached up and cupped her face gently, brushing her tears away gently.

“I found salvation in the form of your grace.” He whispered, gently kissing her a final time.

He released Y/N and walked over to Barry. The shame settling in when he met the harsh eyes of the older man.

“I-I never wanted to hurt you…either of you.” Rafe whispered. Barry reached up and cupped Rafe’s cheek.

“I know, bug. I guess it’s just the way things gotta be.” Barry murmured. Rafe nodded silently, leaning down and giving him a gentle kiss.

“Take care of each other. I-I- I’m so sorry.” Rafe said, forcing himself to pull away from the man. Barry nodded curtly, pulling Y/N into his chest as she cried softly.

They watched him get in the car and angrily wipe away his tears. The black car drove away and away until it was a spec in the distance.

Y/N sobbing into Barry’s chest as the older man held back his own tears of anger.

They spent so long building up love and trust, only for it to be shattered in mere moments.

Months of love and comfort broken apart by cruel lies and fake promises…

On the verge of almost bleeding you out

Are we too wounded now to ever come down?

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